The question of "what's a shit test?" Is typically always followed by "can you give an example?" Well yes, yes I can because I (without even realizing it!) just pulled one on my husband. Here it is:

In our home my husband's one regular job is to take out the trash. He was getting it all ready to go and when he put a new bag in, as soon something was tossed into it, one side started sliding into the can. I didn't fix it and somehow I got it in my head to "see if he'll fix it".

The can kept getting more and more full and internally I was shaking my head thinking, "I can't believe he hasn't fixed it yet! Or noticed it needs to be fixed!"

DH comes along and finally, the bag has completely disappeared under all the trash and says, "why isn't there are bag in here?" I said, "there is, I was just waiting to see how long it took you to notice there was a problem," to which he laughed and said "that's insane. Why am I the only one allowed touch it? If you needed permission you could have just asked." (He's the king of amused mastery without knowing what it is.)

That's the point! Why didn't I just fix it? I don't have an answer. I got it in my head that he should do it and never stopped to ask myself why. That's a shit test. Here's why: there was no right answer. If he ignored the bag or didn't notice the problem, he fails because he didn't fix the problem. If he did fix the bag, I wouldn't have been happy because it's something he "should be doing anyway". There's no right answer for him.

Actually the third option, which is to point out how stupid the whole idea was, that's the right answer. I felt so dumb. I didn't even realize I was pulling a shit test. And what for?

So there it is ladies and gents, a real life example of a shit test. Merry Christmas RPW, I love this community and I'm so grateful for it.

~Sadie