TLDR- first date with a guy and he started talking about toxic masculinity, I was the first girl he was with that said masculinity is good, immediately saw his self esteem boost
I was on a date last night with a guy I’ve been incredibly interested in since before quarantine started, and at one point we got into some political conversation (we have mostly the same views, no debating), but at one point he said something about “everyone should be distrustful of men”. I stopped him and asked him to explain, and he basically said that with modern feminism, it’s the general consensus that men shouldn’t be trusted, all men are bad, patriarchy is evil. It was just so ingrained in him that his gender is inherently evil because of our current political landscape that he was badmouthing his own gender and putting himself down just for being a man without seeing the problem with doing so.
So of course, I told him I don’t believe any of that. When I tell you his eyes lit up!! Apparently I was the first woman he’s met that didn’t believe in all that. I told him that I love men and how they’re designed to be, and how I don’t believe masculinity is toxic. That it’s sad how many men have lower self esteem because of how feminists have made it so mainstream to hate men that it’s not PC to love them anymore. I talked for a minute or two about it and said that I think it’s a horrible cycle, because the more people buy into all men being horrible, the more we expect it and seek out the horrible behaviors instead of commending the good, and it gives even less incentive for there to be good men because it’ll be overlooked in favor of the bad anyway, which just perpetuates the narrative of them being evil. The whole time he’s just nodding a little and looking at me, and then thanked me for that and told me how he’s never been with a girl before that didn’t believe in all that, and stopped putting himself down. And oh my gosh, I could see the difference in him through the rest of the night. Giving him that encouragement to be a man and be proud of it, the rest of the night he was even more of a gentleman, even more romantic, way more chivalrous - the entire energy changed!!
Idk, I’m sure this is RPW 101 but this was the first time since taking the red pill that I’d been able to go out with someone (thanks, covid) and the change it caused was shocking to me. Dates with other men before have totally just felt like two friends hanging out because it’s so taboo to lean into your own gender’s roles. I’m so glad this all happened early into the night so I could fully experience and appreciate the change it made in him to hear praise for being masculine for the first time.
Anyway, has anyone else had a similar experience where a man had literally never heard that from a woman before? What did you notice when you said it? It made me so sad to think about how shamed men are in our society, and I’m sure he’s not the only one who’s never heard praise before. I’d love to hear stories from y’all about the reactions you get from saying things like that! 🥰