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Quarantine Reposts: Childlike vs Childish

March 21, 2020
131 upvotes

Here is a repost from our EC /u/vanbeethovenludwig from about 2 years back. As each day adds new stress and restrictions, we would all do well to bring some lighthearted joy into our households.

What will you do this week to bring some childlike light to your relationship?


My boyfriend has a friend, who is in his 50's. He married a woman much younger than him, she's 29. While she's gorgeous and youthful, they fight. A LOT. Predominantly because the age difference is too big, and she hasn't caught on to what her responsibilities should be.

For example, yesterday they had to take a flight in the evening to France. The husband was working in the morning and began packing in the afternoon.

Wife is out hanging with her girlfriend and returns home 1.5 hours before departure. She hasn't packed. Ensue big argument between the couple since she's acting like an irresponsible child when she's almost 30. Apparently she needed him to tell her what time to come home and what she needed to do, she couldn't think for herself and think like an adult.

While this example might be extreme (since there's a 25 year age gap), it's still proves true that even when a man wants a submissive, youthful wife, you will still irritate him by being childish and irresponsible.

Childlike is different than childish. Childlike is when you are open to life's opportunities, are fearless, excited, optimistic. Childish is being irresponsible, unmanageable, stubborn, immature.

Wives need to be feminine, radiant but also functional. The key is not to let your functionality overrun the relationship (bossy, naggy). How can RPW maintain your childlike optimism while still being functional?

1) Childlike affection. Ever seen a little girl hug a puppy, or kiss her parents? Or beg her daddy for a piggy back ride? Giggle when someone harmlessly teases her? She's open with her emotions, she's not afraid to show her love. She gives her affection to those that are dear to her.

2) Childlike enjoyment. Think about a little girl eating ice cream, enjoying her favorite lasagna, putting on a pair of beautiful earrings, painting her nails, singing along to her favorite song. She's happy about the simple things in life. She's uninhibited with the pleasures of the world. Any good woman knows how to control her emotions - to switch from being functional to being childlike, and a talented RPW knows how to assess which situation requires which quality.

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[–]bitchbaby117 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

great post.

[–]LateralThinker134 Stars6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

To be fair, the husband didn't handle it with much Frame either. I would have done one of two things in this scenario: either a) left without her, or b) told her to come without bags. Depends upon what lesson I wanted her to learn.

But I'd also take her clothes shopping, in France, when we got there. She'd look great wearing some fresh French fashion while on my arm, 25 years in OP's case (or 18 years in my personal case) younger and hotter than myself.

And his wife could be all, "Oh! I'll just get something pretty when we're there" and she could probably sell it if she made an effort. That's the childlike attitude. "I'll discover their clothes! Blend in! It'll be fun to see what their stores look like!"

vs. childish, "Why didn't you remind me of the trip? Why didn't you manage me? Why why why?" the song of entitlement.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

ITT: People who have no idea what this sub is about

This is a great post.

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

πŸ˜‚ You noticed that too?

I was hoping that with the repost the veteran members would helps explain them to newer people but I think I will have to get on the computer and do some responding later.

[–]panthermomcat7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I love this! Thank you for this uplifting information.

[–]melonmagellan4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is pretty spot on imho.

[–]NixieNik990 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

Why are we comparing grown adult women to childern ?

[–]ShootingDanks1 Star9 points10 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

The fact that the wife neglected to pack and was late, because she was "playing with a friend" makes for an apt comparison to a child. What else would make more sense in this context?

[–]NixieNik99-4 points-3 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Being that she's not a adolescent . Comparing her to a child ? Guess cause I'm a Pediatric Nurse . I see childern as childern and adults as adults . Some adults just function on a higher IQ status than others . Guess he should of paid better attention and vexxed his potential better .

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

β€œChildern... childern... guess he should of paid better attention and vexxed his potential...” β€œsome people just function on a higher IQ status than others”

[–]NixieNik99-3 points-2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Interesting name . Zsadist

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[S] 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

We are using adjectives to describe qualities that people possess. You wouldn't describe a child as having "childlike joy" because it's redundant. You wouldn't say that a 7 year old is behaving childishly because again, it is redundant.

Childlike is a quality that is appealing to men in appropriate doses. As defined in the OP it means:

Childlike is when you are open to life's opportunities, are fearless, excited, optimistic. ...She's open with her emotions, she's not afraid to show her love. She gives her affection to those that are dear to her....She's happy about the simple things in life. She's uninhibited with the pleasures of the world.

[–]NixieNik99-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

That's cute.

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[S] 8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I do not understand the condescension. This is basic RPW which is why it has been reposted.

[–]NixieNik990 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Understood . Still think the premise is cute .

[–]LateralThinker134 Stars4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Child-like is fresh, new, and optimistic. Cute, if you will. The best attributes of a child.

Child-ish is sullen, entitled, spoiled, and solipsistic. The negatives of immaturity, the WORST attributes of a child.

THAT's the difference. One you want. One you don't.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[removed]

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Aren't you just so clever and witty.

[–]UnDefinedLegacy0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Urgh why can I not find a man who would want this? I guess I'm not attracting the right men. Maybe if I focus more on my figure I'll do better on what I attract.

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It can be a balancing act. My husband finds it delightful in small doses but he also is proud of acts of competence and intelligence from me. Too much childlike would simply not do.

Men are visual so the first thing they will notice about you is how you look. Everything else follows.

If you are really struggling, you could write a post asking for advice. I'd recommend you include descriptions of the men you are dating and what is not working for you as well as a description of yourself and what you are 'bringing to the table' in terms of relationships. The community might be able give you areas for improvement.

[–]anamorrison-4 points-3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I can’t believe people are still taking flights to anywhere. Couldn’t focus on the rest of the story. Wth

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[S] 18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is an old post from a few years back that we thought was worth bringing out again for reading and discussing. The story isn't current.

[–]anamorrison10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh! In fact you did mention that in the beginning, sorry for my brain fart and fast trigger :)

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

😁

[–]LateralThinker134 Stars2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If that's the hang-up, assume they're taking a private chartered jet.

[–]nevomintoarce-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So did they miss the flight?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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