I just wanted to have a brief discussion about being an alpha widow. First we should define it: An Alpha Widow is a woman (with low SMV) who has a relationship with a high SMV man. After the relationship ends she never gets over the Alpha guy, never finds meaningful relationships with anyone else, and goes through life dissatisfied in love.
Being in a relationship in the past does not make you an alpha widow. Being in a painful breakup does not make you an alpha widow. Thinking about your previous relationships or occasionally missing someone does not make you an alpha widow.
An Alpha Widow has Low Value, and for most of us, being in this sub and trying to self improve already puts you a step above the rest. If you truly are Low Value, your continuous journey to be a better woman will remove your Low Value status, and help you achieve a high value guy, even if it takes time and energy.
An Alpha Widow has an unhealthy preoccupation with the past. This is not a badge of honor. It’s something that needs to be fixed, hopefully with therapy. A woman who is so consumed with judging present potential romantic partners and comparing them to the distorted reality of her selective memories is critical, judgmental, unattractive, and cold.
The Thoughts and Labels that we apply to ourselves MATTER. Even ruminating on thoughts, “I wonder if I’m an alpha widow...” is planting seeds into your subconscious about how much power or control you have over a situation. We are social creatures, and it’s okay to grieve a previous relationship without self-diagnosing yourself with a mental disorder.
I don’t mean for this post to be mean-spirited, or bully anyone. I just keep reading so many posts that start off with, “Blah blah blah, and that’s when I got Alpha Widowed” I just don’t think it’s healthy.