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Rant: I’m so tired of the glorification of hot mess mom life

March 28, 2022

Hello ladies, long time lurker and first time poster here. I’m 33, a quasi stay at home mom of a 3y.o and 18m.o (quasi in that I took 2 years mat leave as my job allows, I will be returning to work in Sept). Needless to say, my home can be a wild place sometimes with 2 very active toddlers running around. My life is far from perfect, I am far from perfect, and my kids are not perfectly behaved robots at all times. I’ve found that being a mom can be very difficult and exhausting at times, many times by surprise. It is truly the most humbling experience I’ve had to date and I know the humbling has only just begun. My general mantra is to do my best while also giving myself grace/realistic expectations and taking each day one at a time.

But I refuse to participate in the hot mess mom thing. By “hot mess mom thing” I’m talking about:

  • celebrating that one is almost always apathetic towards and/or annoyed by their children who they brought into the world while also mocking women who seem to genuinely enjoy being a mom

  • using “I haven’t showered/put on makeup/followed a skincare routine/painted my nails/shaved in 2827722 weeks” as a flex while also emphasizing that moms who do this stuff must be self obsessed narcissists (most overused term nowadays imo)

  • living in a chaotic, dirty home with piles of stuff everywhere while also criticizing the f out of a mom with even a semi-clean, semi-organized home because surely she must spend all her time cleaning and yelling at kids to pick up after themselves!

  • serving one’s kids a stream of nonstop processed foods while also poo pooing a mom who likes cooking and baking and does so often

  • shitting all over the husband, calling him an inadequate idiot while also insinuating that a woman who has a loving, happy marriage with the father or her children must be a total scam (note: I know that not all men are stellar fathers and/or husbands, and I am not referring to situations in which the father is a genuinely bad person, rather situations in which the loving, good natured father is blamed and chastised for the most menial errors)

So, in a nutshell, its basically the notion of being a half assed, low effort parent who hates on women who are moms and have their ish together. Nope. Not doing that. Not now, not even. Yet SOOOOOOO MANY women I know who have kids have fallen for it and subscribe to this weird ideaology. For me personally, I’ve been overtly mocked for all of the above by family members (who are around my age and have kids) plus other stuff, like putting a nice outfit on my kids for holidays, cleaning their faces after a messy meal (I’m being serious), and wearing decent (although not flashy, more like Gap, LL Bean, and Amazon) clothes.

What’s more, I’ve noticed a vast majority of said women tend to act as if they’re martyrs for having kids, like they’re SoOooOOooo limited, so tired, so over it because of a choice they chose for themselves and well, they just can’t be bothered to put in even 50% effort anymore. Like, uh, hello? Your kids did not ask to be brought here. Yes, being a parent is a LOT OF WORK. Tons. And tons. And even more tons. But… isn’t that obvious? You are literally raising a child from newborn state to be an actual person, with morals, thoughts, interests, responsibilities, etc.

This rant isn’t directed at anyone who has had lots of hard days as a parent, resulting in staying in the same sweats for 3 days, unlimited screen time, multiple take out meals, and getting irrationally pissed at your husband. I believe all of those things are normal once in a while and especially in certain times of life. I myself have battled PPA, have had very rough patches with my husband, struggled to lose weight or accomplish a single 2 minute task in my house. It happens to all of us. But it seems that its become a normal, celebrated way of life and moms who are trying their damndest and being criticized as if they’re not “down to earth” or are toxic.

Does….. does anyone else feel this way? I have kept this to myself for a while because I realize this could be a potentially very unpopular opinion amongst my peers, but seriously, wtf?

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Post Information
Title Rant: I’m so tired of the glorification of hot mess mom life
Author roygbiv103188
Upvotes 188
Comments 55
Date March 28, 2022 8:24 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]CigarettesandAsh 42 points43 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I think it's an outgrowth of the narcissistic culture we have. Even though these women have children, they still need to be the center of attention.

[–]hipopper 25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And they resent their children because they, themselves, are psychologically still children. And resent the responsibility. It’s pathetic.

[–]Bubbly_Window_6719 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

They are told not to raise the children, to let them grow up without discipline. They most likely were raised this way themselves!

[–]liltigerminx 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you just summed it up perfectly. Especially here in the west.

[–]hipopper 34 points35 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Omg TOTALLY. I also resent the “wine mom” culture. Being a mom is so horrible that one has to drink constantly? Wtf? It’s so gross. I’m with you!

[–]lookylolo 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Totally agree. Sooo gross!

[–]lavachequirie 64 points65 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

To me this is another symptom of the utter lack of personal responsibility in our society. Blame the kids, blame the husband, blame society, etc. Act like everything wrong in your life is due to anything but your behaviour... etc etc. I feel bad for the generation of kids being raised right now.

[–]hipopper 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Me too

[–]wonderrageveritatis 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Spot on

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sad but true

[–]titlejunk 24 points25 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I’m actually really confounded by what you wrote. I don’t see that at all. But I’m 44 and not on TikTok or Instagram.

What I experienced with my generation is that we were told that having children would give us a fulfillment in a way that nothing else ever would. That may be true for some people. It’s definitely not true for all people.

I was very fulfilled by working and being incredible at my job. It was so satisfying to show up and know that I was likely to fix something that day and other peoples’ lives would be better for it. I was the best at what I did and garnered the respect of those I worked with.

Having kids… was not that way. I wasn’t great at pregnancy or childbirth or parenting a newborn. It absolutely was a shit show.

I’ll spare you the details but my eldest is now 18, I don’t work anymore, and I struggle to find meaning and purpose to my life. I actively cultivate new and difficult hobbies to try and add some challenges to my existence. Yet every day I know I have the option to just not do anything hard.

I’m not sure humans are built to live with no challenges. There was a bit about that in the first Matrix movie.

I don’t begrudge people their venting. I don’t begrudge them inventing or creating challenges. We are all just trying to get by.

[–]anothergoodbook 12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

There’s unfortunately been a trend (I believe mostly on tik tok) where moms do things that are really just mean toward their kids. Like one I saw on a YouTube video critiquing the whole thing - was a mom that wrote “you really piss me off” in tater tots, to give to her non reading son.

I think there’s just, what I’ve hear it referred to, toxic mommy culture. And it gets celebrated by some on social media.

[–]mspalomar 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That hurts to read. Even if he can’t read, I’m sure he feels the emotion. What an abuser.

[–]jayval90 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

We are all just trying to get by.

That's not actually true for all people. There are those who are trying to "remake society" in their image or according to some concept they thought up. It's unfortunate that you can't just trust people, but that's just the way things are. I would be very skeptical of the sources of feelings like that. It's tempting to chalk them up to "I am just different" when it's very likely that someone dedicated their time and energies into manipulating people's emotions to make them feel that way. That is the danger of thinking with the inner self as the ultimate authority for interpreting the world, rather than seeing your inner self (and physical self, and others' inner/external selves) in the context of some larger absolute truth.

[–]titlejunk 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ok. You got real weird there.

Please clarify: Do you interpret that I think I’m different because I do not feel fulfilled by the act of making a child and raising it to adulthood? What this comment was ultimately about.

Or is there something larger that you are trying to steer me toward seeing?

I’m not a conspiracy theorist. Additionally, I’ve done therapy, meditation, introspection, I have dear friends and a spouse to bounce feelings off of. My children and step-children know they can come to me with anything. I don’t think there’s any level on which I haven’t looked at myself and questioned my feelings.

Please tell me who you think is steering this ship?

[–]jayval90 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve done therapy, meditation, introspection, I have dear friends and a spouse to bounce feelings off of. My children and step-children know they can come to me with anything. I don’t think there’s any level on which I haven’t looked at myself and questioned my feelings.

Ok, you have described how you see your inner self. You have described spending a lot of time thinking about your inner self, and so you probably agree with me saying that you see your inner self as your "true, authentic self," correct? You define fulfillment completely in terms of something you feel, not in terms of anything external.

A more traditional view of authenticity is that which aligns with an external, absolute truth. A more traditional view of fulfillment is participating in something valuable that is larger than yourself. A more traditional view of feelings is that they need to be nurtured and trained to be in alignment with an external absolute Truth/Reality.

This modern idea that authenticity and fulfillment flow out of feelings is not original with you, and was actually developed as part of a humanistic worldview that places the self above all else.

So when I say that your feelings are manipulated, I don't mean that yours are manipulated any more than anyone else's. There are entire multi-billion dollar industries invested in making millions of people feel certain ways. Advertising, Politics, Special Interests, etc all do this and are quite successful in changing people's feelings. The danger I see with what you are saying is that you are holding your feelings as the final arbiter of your authentic self. That gives people who affect your feelings massive power over you, and no amount of self-introspection is going to rid you of their manipulation.

The solution IMO is to view feelings as something to be managed as any other part of the body, like exercise. If feelings are out of alignment, it probably points to something else being out of alignment. So for your stated example of not feeling as fulfilled as a parent as you did at your job, I wouldn't say that the problem is anything wrong with your internal feelings. Your internal feelings just value corporate work more than raising a family, probably because you yourself hold those values (or at the very least, you were successfully emotionally manipulated into feeling positive associations with career and neutral/negative with children - that's a huge modern push in public society that has nothing to do with "natural development").

It's not that these emotional manipulations are "wrong" per se (most of our feelings are affected by external forces), it's just that they present problems when they are curated in a way that leaves them in conflict with reality. The whole "women in careers are a good thing" mantra suffers from many unfortunate brushes with reality. Usually in RP we talk about the career woman who gets confronted with the realization after 30 that she hasn't confronted the prospect of childlessness, but there are also the stories like yours where women are still mentally career women and feel ill-equipped to handle the issues of motherhood.

Again, the fundamental issue isn't so much the fact that one or the other is wrong or right, but the fact that we insist on governing our surroundings according to our feelings instead of governing our feelings to reflect our surroundings and/or values.

[–]abacabbmk 21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


We all know its exhausting and all, but you're supposed to make the most of it and enjoy it as much as you can, not be miserable.

These are the people who cant live and enjoy life and likely are miserable/have a crisis later in life.

[–]anothergoodbook 10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I’ve got 4 kids and I totally agree.

I never understood the idea of not showering for days? With all my newborns I still showered daily.

I’m messy so I tend to have a messy house, but that’s unrelated to kids. And being worked on (which I’m incredibly proud of).

[–]Noressa 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I know it's not the topic, but... How did you shower daily with newborns? I felt so guilty trying to take a shower on the days/times my husband was at work and I was with my kidlets during maternity. My brain wouldn't let me take a shower unless someone was home and for me it was a constant challenge of "do I want a shower, or do I want to try to get more sleep." The few times they started crying when I was in the shower was enough for me to not want to risk it because no one else was around to comfort them. :(

[–]anothergoodbook 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I had a little bouncy seat I’d set in the bathroom with me. Or I’d do it while they were napping :). Wasn’t long showers. Just enough to not stink.

[–]Bubbly_Window_6719 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It is an issue of disciplining the kids! No one likes to put the kids outside for the majority of the day when they need to run, scream, climb and find out their limits. (Boys and girls alike). Nowadays they are all holed up inside and scolded for making a noise!

No one likes to be hard and some say boys need to be wild. Yes, boys are wild but that does not need to mean no discipline! No parenting, setting boundaries and enforcing basic polite behaviour! This no-discipline stance is the problem. Unruly kids make for exhausted mothers and fathers not the other way around!

[–]Throwaway2303061 Star 18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think this is part of an overall late 20th century social trend to shine a light on the vagaries of all aspects of life, including motherhood. Where in the past women would try to put on a good face and a public appearance of happy motherhood, they now feel free to be "real."

In addition, I think the hot mess mom stuff is partly a backlash against the mommy influencer culture of the past decade where you see a very glossy and idealistic version of motherhood (e.g. Instagram).

Finally, all this is amplified x10 on the Internet and social media.

I have mom acquaintances but no actual mom friends or family so I feel quite removed from all mom culture, highly recommend! 😃 I have no one to complain to besides maybe my own mother, and she had it worse that I did.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think a lot of these moms are this way because they’re ingrained to believe parenthood is a “to-do” to check off on their list. If having a family is the most normal thing in our society, then it must be easy. Or so they believe. I’m a proud childfree woman, and I find that moms who are the most respectful of my choice are those who knew that being a parent is some hard shit before they ever had kids. They appreciate the hardships of motherhood and understand why not everyone would be keen on the role. The women who’ve been the most intrusive or vocally disrespectful about my decision have all been the type of mom you just described.

I used to have a friend in the same age range as myself (late 20s) and she’s got 3 girls of her own as well as a stepdaughter. My friend group knows I’m CF but she’d always harp about how I’d change my mind, how I was too young to know what I was talking about (lol), I haven’t met the right guy, blah blah. She was a SAHM only because she absolutely refused to work. They lived in a mobile home, but she constantly nagged her husband about getting her designer bags, clothes etc while their place was always filthy (I still cringe at the thought of her stove), her girls were always sticky with food all over their face like I’m talking literal strands of spaghetti DRIED onto their cheeks, and they didn’t smell great. My childhood bff is her cousin so she roped my bff into being the girls’ godmother and from that point on always had her hand out asking for money for their clothes, food, etc.

One night, she had our group over for a game night and we opened a few beers. She got absolutely hammered and sobbed to me and my bff that she hated being a mom and while she loved her kids, if she could go back in time, she would’ve never had any of them and wouldn’t have had to marry her husband. She hated being pregnant, she hated giving birth. She was bored of playing with them or pretending to care about their convos with her. She admitted that the reason she refuted my insistence that I’d never have kids was because she envied the fact that I knew motherhood wasn’t for me and didn’t have to have a kid to find out that I’d hate it. She resented the fact that I was right and wanted me to change my mind so I’d get knocked up and feel like she did and we could commiserate together. She flat out said she wanted to put an end to my fun life. She’d often give me the “it’s worth it when you see your kids smile/hug you” but that night admitted she was just repeating the BS she was fed because she found motherhood to be rewarding in no way. This was a handful of years ago, and she hadn’t yet become pregnant with her third. I stopped talking to her shortly after that. At the time I viewed her as unhinged, but looking back, we’re both of Mexican backgrounds, but her family was a lot more traditional. More traditional views on gender roles in Mexico usually coincide with low income areas that have more ignorant views of life. Women are human incubators, free cooks, maids and babysitters. Whether being a mom is hard or not was beside the point because she was ingrained to believe she had to do it. It would be “wrong” not to, at best, and would render her useless and undeserving of a husband at worst.

I think a lot of these types of moms come from a similar background. When you’re told having kids is something you do as a way of blending into your community or a sign of a “normal” lifestyle, with very little regard or insight into how motherhood affects a woman’s mental health, well you end up with moms who’d rather end up working late at their offices after handing their kids off to strangers to take care of, or who down a bottle of wine every afternoon to deal with their kids shrieking in the background because no one ever told them that motherhood is a sacrifice first and foremost. They want the dirty work done for them while receiving the same praise.

[–]krazykatlady25 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Definitely agree. There is a very weird dynamic with motherhood in today's culture. I'm a FTM to a newborn and there are days where I'm a "hot mess mom" and I HATE those days. I don't know why anyone would want to glorify that lifestyle. The days that I do have my ish together are the days where I feel the happiest and most accomplished. And I actually find that if I stick to my list of priorities then I feel less depressed/anxious.

[–]Successful_Location2 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is literally what today’s movies and entertainment teach people is okay. Good for you and not getting mind controlled because you are absolutely right.

[–]emilyjadeofficial 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Holy fuck thank you so much for this post. I can’t even count the amount of times that I think these exact thoughts. What I hate most of all is when they get all pissed off and say “not everyone can be as perfect as you” just for doing basic shit like feeding your kid a healthy meal or keeping your house clean or taking a shower.

[–]lookylolo 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes! I’m very cautious who I tell that I don’t give my LO any food with added sugar. And I do things like make her homemade applesauce. Why is this an embarrassing thing to tell people!?

[–]Puzzleheaded-Lab-165 20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The underachiever grown ass woman version of Bart Simpson. You left out not giving it up to her man because she is a mother 24/ 7 but when she does she starfishes. Instead of wanting to be a mom she needs sympathy from everyone anyone who will listen to her wine about how bad she has it.

[–]emmalai852 Stars 13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have issues due to burn out with autism, and I manage to shower every day, have sex with my husband 1-2x a day and it's been 16 years and we still have that much sex. We have 6 kids, my house isn't perfect, but I prioritize the things that matter, laundry and dishes done daily, showers done every night before bed or going out in public.

We live in the rainforest, so mud is a never ending battle and some days, I just let the tile stay muddy since we are still figuring out the bext way to fix the areas around the house and create more covered areas.

But we play hard outside every day and have so much fun. Life is too short.

i know other people have a hard time - and I can sympathize, but they need to do something to fix it. Whether it's medicine, therapy, asking for more help, paying for more help, making lifestyle changes that reduce stress, find ways to take care of themselves and communicate in effective ways, and maybe, also, picking compatible mates who are also hard working and willing to help when asked.

[–]boofthegirl 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Have sex 1-2x a day?! Jesus my vag would be sore 🤣

[–]Leg_Mcmuffin 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This bullshit pisses me off too, but I’m a guy, so…

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Best is the creators who will post tiktoks all day long about how they have no time for themselves anymore since having kids. But they have time to film skits and lip sync. Cool cool cool.

[–]HappilyMrs 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't agree. It stops mums who likely have undiagnosed ADHD/Autism or other similar challenges from feeling like they are alone or complete failures. I dont see it as a personal attack on "put together" mums. It's a mechanism for not letting struggling mums feel like they are going to break under the pressure of society expecting perfection.

[–]roygbiv103188[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I apologize if it came off as if I’m critiquing anyone who is type b, very overwhelmed,or is generally burnt out from being a parent. I completely understand where you are coming from and I am 100% in favor of giving oneself grace and leniency wherever/however often it is needed. It’s healthy and realistic for longevity. I have struggled with ADHD since I was a child and have had a lot more anxiety since becoming a mom, so I get it. Trying to prevent burnt out is something I strive to work at daily and although its impossible at times, I think it has calmed me down a lot and made me feel more grounded.

But that wasn’t really my point. I don’t know if you are on social media or not, but there a lot of women who are real people as well as influencers/famous people who go out of their way to present their lives as if its a state of total chaos and apathy. Posed pictures with laundry hanging all over the couch And kids with food smeared all over their faces. Drinking excessively around kids(hello Molly Sims), letting kids wreck everything in sight and be rude without consequences and hust saying “meh, kids will be kids”, teaching a toddler curse words, stuff like that. Watch current movies or TV shows portraying prenthood and you’ll see the same. And this idea that basic adult responsibilities that are fairly normal/not much effort (like making a habit of cooking, cleaning, playing with kids, being enthusiastic and loving with said kids, etc) are for boring try hards. Its so bizarre to me.

No one has the time or energy (to pretend) to be perfect constantly and so I’m not suggesting that or condoning that for anyone. I know being a parent can be absolutely ridiculous, sooooo messy and soooo exhausting at times (most of the time lol) I just find the glorification of being a low effort and apathetic parent to be disturbing.

[–]rootsnyder 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Hmm... this post felt like a fairly legitimate concern, I wonder why it got taken down, rule zero maybe?

Or did the mods just not read it all the way?

Edit: Its back up

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The automod caught it by accident but thank you for assuming we are incompetent 🧐

[–]dadudenines 12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It is like someone intentionally made our society a gynocentric social order, with no accountability (#metoo, birth control, later term abortion), no fault divorce, endless entitlements (WIC, welfare, obamacare, alimony, etc.) and infinite sympathy (#believeallwomen) from the media just to see what might happen...

A sign one is dealing with a degenerate Victimom™ is their kid's first set of teeth will require tons of dental work from the constant stream of processed food and lack of attention to their health due to Victimom's out of control solipsism.

[–]snekhoe -3 points-2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

yeah that’s why women are the only people with a massive victim complex.

[–]boofthegirl 13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Men don’t have a victim complex? Have you been on an incel forum?

[–]snekhoe 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

yes that’s what I was saying you idiots.

[–]BoneIt69 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think social media is making people narcissistic. The term may not be used enough, actually.

[–]aussiedollface2 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Damn you said it. Ive thought this for a long time but hubby and I don’t have kids yet (currently TTC) so I feel like I’m not allowed to say it lololol xo

[–]Nobunnyashh 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm pregnant having morning sickness, and I also have a 2 year old, and I still find time to clean and cook every day. It's taken a while to cultivate this in my life because I was not necessarily given the tools growing up to learn how to properly clean or cook. Luckily I worked at a maid company for a couple years when I was younger so I learned how to truly clean and deep clean. I have taught myself to cook through trial and error over the past 5 years, and my meals have only been consistently good for maybe the past year lol. Before I got married and had children my old apartment was almost always a wreck, and there were piles and piles of laundry, the bathroom was a disaster. It was chaos. I hated cleaning because it always took an ENTIRE day to clean the whole apartment and get it all organized and in order. Then within less than a week it was back to looking how it was 🙃. I slowly realized that I was doing it to myself by only choosing to clean twice a month. Now I will spend at MOST 1 hour a day cleaning and picking up my house to get it in order. This includes a load of dishes, a load of laundry, vacuuming, wiping down surfaces, and putting items back where they belong. It's so much easier spending a small portion of my day to keep my house cleaned rather than dreading the bi-monthly "cleaning day". I also noticed that my anxiety and depression have improved drastically just because my space is clean. My home is my sanctuary, and it deeply affects my mind, so keeping it clean and organized for me is an absolute must now!

[–]roygbiv103188[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Are you me???!? This sounds like my life to a t - all of it! Congratulations on baby #2 and keep doing your thing!

[–]Othello_The_Moor1995 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I only got this to say.. You're amazing.

[–]lovelyllamas 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I came back to this sub to post exactly this. I am so glad I found your post, op. I’m pregnant, and reading these stories on other subs are driving me nuts!!

[–]henrycatalina 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm 67...I'm so tired if people acting like raising kids is some unbelievable burden that's never been burdened by anyone. For hundreds of thousands of years human have had children is far worse conditions. Ridiculous self entitled people with no perspective.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]roygbiv103188[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol, it appears as though you missed the point of this post completely. I was not shitting on women who are having a hard time with parenting - struggles are a very normal and frequent occurrence for literally every single parent on the planet. It is an exhausting, tedious job. If you’ll reread my post and focus on the areas you clearly glazed over so that you could cherry pick a few words to make an argument against me, you’ll learn that I have been through many struggles as a parent.

Not sure if you are a parent yourself, but many of my days as a parent have been spent “sucking it up” and keeping it moving. Its not always fun or rewarding, but thats what it is. Having kids was my choice and I am responsible for them, even when I’m tired, sick, upset, grieving, whatever. They are my children and are 100% dependent upon me. I take that seriously and am here to work my ass off for them, period. In the 3.5 years I’ve been a parent I’ve dealt with several heavy issues and continue to do so to this day. I am stressed much of the time and being positive doesn’t always come naturally. But I am deeply committed to self reflection and being the best version of myself, even if it’s only 50% of how good I was the day before. I am by no means special, I am not wealthy, I don’t have regular help/nannies/cleaning services/babysitters.

On the contrary, there’s a lot of mothers who make being a mother and the struggles of motherhood all about them and their needs. Surely if you stop by r/JUSTNOMIL or r/raisedbynarcissists you’ll see plenty of examples of this. THAT is what I’m shitting on- not women who struggle, not women living in poverty/without resources, not women who are tired (we’re all tired).

It sounds as though the central beliefs amongst the people of this subreddit don’t align with your views at all. Thats cool and all, and I’m not here to change your mind/beliefs. But I’m honestly not sure why you felt compelled to write out such a thorough analysis of my post especially when its one that is clearly aligned with central beliefs of this community. If you’re interested in learning more about what we’re all about here and what kind of posts you might see, read the side bar.

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Removed off topic

[–]BoneIt69 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's completely on topic. You just don't want to hear it.

[–]roygbiv103188[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nah I wrote this post and I assure you, nothing about what I wrote was in reference to single moms and/or the dating conquests of single moms. Not even a little. In fact, all of the moms I know irl who live out the train wreck mom lifestyle are married and have been for a while.

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No one is talking about single moms so you can drag your soapbox to another sub. It is off topic in this post. But argue with me. Let's see how that goes for you.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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