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Road Trip/Vacation Do's and Don't's?

March 29, 2018

Hi ladies :)

Just here seeking some advice and to read some stories. My boyfriend and I are going on a road trip next month (will have been together 6 months by then). Driving about 20 hours (with breaks) to another city, and staying there about 7 days, then driving back.

What are your RP vacation tips? What has been your good and not-so-good vacation experiences with your SO? How do I become even more lovely in his eyes and not less after this?


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Post Information
Title Road Trip/Vacation Do's and Don't's?
Author LeilaintheDark
Upvotes 12
Comments 23
Date March 29, 2018 8:31 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/road-tripvacation-dos-and-donts.74508
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/884of6/road_tripvacation_dos_and_donts/

[–]theoppositeopinion111 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Pack food and pre-emptively offer some snacks. Not just "would you like snacks", but instead just open the bag of grapes, put them within arms reach and maybe feed him one while he drives. Same thing with juice/water. Have map ready and make a few notes of places to stop, but wait until he asks for help. Be a helpful navigator, not just a passenger.

Have a few things that you want to see/do, but don't make the plan. Let him know a few things you'd like to do, but don't peg your happiness on artificial/subjective goals (see certain building/museum, participate in specific event). Nothing ruins a vacation faster than pouting because you missed some minor thing that you for some reason set your heart's happiness to. The experience can change and plans change. You can have a wonderful time just wandering by the river feeding the ducks that you'll remember for the rest of your life. Pouting about missing that stupid band might ruin your relationship.

Be aware of each other's limitations. If one of you get tired of walking around after 3 hours, then you stop at 3 hours. You're allowed to go off on your own for a bit, but never get in a huff because he can't keep up, or he wants to do different things. Again, these are relationship ending situations you can find yourself in by setting up your expectations of how you expect things to go. Sometimes you just need to chill at the coffee shop and people watch for an hour to let him chill for a bit.

Don't try to cram too many things in at once. Rushing around to see as much as possible can be a frustrating and anxiety producing activity.

Have sex every day. If he doesn't initiate, at least show him you're interested, give him IOI's. Being shown attraction is almost as satisfying as the real deal. Don't forget sex.

[–]LeilaintheDark[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ahh love it! Really astute advice. Will pack snacks.

I'm getting so happy reading your planning advice because he's planning the big stuff like itinerary and accommodations and told me to just look up stuff I want to eat and see :)

As the more introverted party, I'll keep the limitations thing in mind and try to gracefully ask for time if I need it.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Try to have sex in every state you pass through. We went from PA to florida had alot of sex in-between (4 times in South Carolina)I Try avoid awkward passing conversation. You'd be surprised at the stupid shit you can say when your bored in a car. Don't be annoying with directions just figure it out as you go. Mainly have fun and keep it light

[–]LeilaintheDark[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Will definitely have sex! Try to be extra creative... Yes, I was pretty concerned that I might say something annoying/dumb while sitting in the car so I'll try to look out for it. I feel like I have to consciously remind myself that many men enjoy the silence.

[–]teaandtalk5 Stars6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Some silly little tips: a hand on his thigh while he drives (if it doesn't distract him); wear a dress that can sit high up on your legs/give him a sneaky show (again, if he can handle it).

[–]StrongAffordance 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I hope this advice is welcome, but the one thing on road trips that my ex-wife did that made me fume for basically the rest of the drive was give unsolicited direction. Also, men often have rules for their car (e.g. no eating). You should ask what they are, and follow them.

[–]LeilaintheDark[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks, it's really good advice! I can't remember specifics but a looong time ago I got into a gigantic fight with my bf-at-the-time in the car over something like that. My bf drives manual, which I can't do (and think is hot hehe) and I never give him driving advice. I half-joked that maybe I should learn for this trip, and he told me not to worry about driving. So I'm gonna drop it and focus on improving other things :)

[–]BewareTheOldMan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Be prepared to assist navigation at unknown points or in tight, unfamiliar spots on request and if needed, but there's no need to overdo the assist.

In consideration of safety and cleanliness, one of the other commenters has a good point of advising ahead for rest breaks/fuel stops.

Music is good for the trip. Something he likes, something you like, and something both of you can appreciate - you can tell a lot about a person based on their musical interests. Music is the soundtrack to our lives...or something like that.

Select a fun activity at the major location stops that supports both interests, but try to introduce something (new) that your SO may not be aware of regarding your personality.

[–]RelationshipThwaway 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

No wonder you're divorced and no one wants to be with you

[–]StrongAffordance 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah true I cry myself to sleep every night over it

[–]RelationshipThwaway 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Well, you obviously are not over it, or you wouldn't be so obsessive

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Be polite or be quiet.

[–]BewareTheOldMan-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No eating in the car. I concur - full stop. I'm uncertain, but I think it's a Man-Law.

[–]girlwithabikeEndorsed Contributor3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My husband and I have been road tripping since we started dating. It's his preferred type of vacation!

One of the things that we do to fill the silence (and prevent me from babbling for 6 hours) is listen to podcasts. This gives us something to listen to and then to talk about.

This is a weird thing but...I try to warn him as far in advance as I possibly can that I'll need a bathroom. We're huge coffee drinkers so I can generally anticipate based on when we stop for coffee. But on long stretches of road, advanced notice gives him time to decide where is best to stop.

Being a proactive navigator is really important to my guy. Even when he has planned the directions, I'll try to keep the directions running on my phone so I can do a quick look see if he needs something.

If you plan to have a lot of sex, carry wet wipes and changes of underwear. I think sitting in the car (plus sex of course) for long stretches can make you more easily susceptible to UTIs which are the worst.

One of my favorite road trip stories:

We visited his dad out in NM (from the East Coast). On our way home we stopped in this little dusty town at a hole in the wall restaurant. We wanted to get chili. We might have been broke on this trip too IIRC.

We sat at the bar and order chili and the bartender asks us where we're from, we tell him, and he warns us that the chili is really hot. My SO tells him that we like spicy food and eat a bit of it at home. He warns us again and then brings us the chili.

It was inedible. Apparently we had no idea what spicy NM chilis were like and it didn't compare to the Indian/Thai/whatever food that we thought was spicy. SO has about 3 bites and order a burger. I ate two bites and then ate his fries and a whole lot of water. All the while a local is sitting at the table behind us taking bite ole spoonfuls of that same chili laughing his ass off at us tourists.

Lesson Learned: trust the locals

This was the first year we were dating and we still tell the story. Road trips are fun and whoever said that the memories are heightened was spot on.

[–]LeilaintheDark[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha oh my goodness, reminds me of when I went out with my bf and his friends for ramen, and I ordered something spicy (which I usually like) and I couldn't finish my bowl and was sweating the whole time. I just laughed it off and all was good but was a bit embarrassing!

Thanks for the tips! UTIs ARE the worst! This reminds me I should consider bring pills that help with bathroom habits juuust in case.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Road trips and vacations create memories. Question is, what memories will you create for him?

The time of the trip holds more power than the regular grind of the day to day. This means that good memories will be amplified and so will bad ones.

I'd suggest keeping your phone usage to a minimum and be attentive to him. Be cheerful and pleasant and easygoing. Be highly sexual. Choose the less expensive option whenever possible, this is a great time to demonstrate that you value his money and appreciate what he's doing for you.

Did I mention being highly sexual?

[–]LeilaintheDark[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the solid advice! The memory building thing is so exciting and a bit scary :)

I have a question though. While I don't mind the less expensive option at all, and I do value him so much (by the way, we're going to split the cost of this trip) I've gotten advice on this forum that I should be careful about picking the least expensive option too often, because it might insinuate that I think lowly of his earning potential (for now and for the future). I can see the logic in both these perspectives, and was wondering what your thoughts are on that?

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I've gotten advice on this forum that I should be careful about picking the least expensive option too often, because it might insinuate that I think lowly of his earning potential (for now and for the future).

Such logic can only be fueled by hypergamy!

I don't know a single man who'd feel that way.

[–]LeilaintheDark[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Really? I'm not doubting the sincerity of your comment, especially since I don't talk to men in real life about this topic, it's just that I sometimes hear the other side.

The other side being: if you trust that your man is capable (of both earning and budgeting, and being straightforward), then if he offers you 2 options, he can handle both options. Always picking the least expensive option might seem like you're worried about his financial state.

But it seems like the men you know disagree with the above, which is food for thought for me.

[–]aftertheafter-party2 Star4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My husband would be annoyed if he gave me 2 options & I chose the less expensive one rather than choosing what I actually preferred -- I think you have to weigh being considerate of his $ with being authentic & honest.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

then if he offers you 2 options

This is a different scenario to what I described above.

Here's how this dance should go.

  1. If he asks for you to choose, choose the least expensive option.

  2. If he offers a more expensive option and you can tastefully choose something less expensive, you'll score a lot of points with him if you do.

  3. If he tells you that he nevertheless wants to go with the more expensive option, don't argue. Accept it and say thank you.

Look, in my business I have dealings with very wealthy people. I can tell you that even a multi millionaire will appreciate it when you choose a cheaper item on the menu when he's paying for lunch because it shows that you aren't frivolous with his money, that you appreciate what he's doing for you and that you don't take him for granted.

[–]melaniey851 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good advice I've read! One thing that has been my experience in the passenger seat that has annoyed more than one of my exes (and my husband) is that I'll be motor-mouthing at a junction and he has to cut me off to be sure we're taking the right turn. So something I've learned is to be aware of where we are and not get deep into some story at inopportune times while they're trying to concentrate on a turn or something - it definitely annoys men!

[–]LateralThinker133 Stars0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

One thing I like to do with my SO is to pull over at roadside historical markers. Gets you a good snippet of local history and an excuse to stretch your legs.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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