Schedules, balance, self-care, burnout, & guilt

durtyknees · 2018-01-09T21:59:41+00:00

Be flexible with yourself, focus on what needs to be done within a certain timeframe, instead of when they are done (ie: at a fixed time every day).

Personally, I don't do well with routines at all, to the point where I don't even have recipes, because my cooking is "modular" (can't think of a better word lol) --- basically, when I shop, I just buy the best of what's currently available, then go home and combine them into tasty combinations, which means my homecooked meals are forever varied.

Multitasking is key, I think. Some days, I brush my teeth while cooking a more elaborate breakfast, but I'm a weirdo, and I'm sure someone else would probably have better examples to give as actual advice lol

Edit: I'd like to add a few things I learned about multitasking:

Make sure your brain is getting enough nutrition: especially Omega-3 fatty acids, and B-complex vitamins. A high protein diet also helps me. Can't multitask without full alertness :p This includes getting proper sleep, too.
Make sure you stay well hydrated throughout the day, because your brain becomes more derpy when dehydrated. The best way to hydrate is by drinking a small cup of plain water every half hour or so. This ensures your body enough time to absorb the water properly, and not make you pee too much (which can result in flushing out important nutrients from your body).
Do your "me-time"/grooming and daily task-planning during the time of day when you're least likely to be disturbed. If you're doing a multi-step skincare routine (I do the standard 10-step myself), decant all your watery toners into spray/mist bottles (faster application than patting with fingers), and use one hand to exclusively apply the products on your face while the other hand exclusively handles containers/other things. This means you save time washing your hands between steps. For example, I use my left hand to handle bottles and jars, while my right hand is the only hand that has contact with my clean face until my entire skincare process is done. While waiting for the product to absorb for every step, I use my left hand to write/make plans/etc while my right hand chills out in the air near my right cheek.
Try different methods to get the same outcome of a task. Buy organizers and containers to help make things more visible and accessible for you. Perhaps rearrange the layout of your furniture, if this helps with ease of movement between them. Get well-designed household tools that help you save time.
Track what you're doing in a planner or journal. This helps you adjust and try new methods without repeating forgotten mistakes.
You probably already do this: discuss with (or at least, inform) your husband about any tasks you really need help with.

ConfusedRed · 2018-01-10T01:44:10+00:00

IMO, kids need routines and the beginning can be a little difficult on the parents... but it gets better. Just hang in there for a bit, mentally.

I'd suggest scouting places that include childcare with their services.

I used to go to an all-women's gym which had a two-hour-free childcare service for each gym visit (and a free one-hour extra if you decided to sign up for one of their facials/spa treatments). There're similar hairstylists/manicurists as well, so you can get in your hair appointments whilst their being watched. Just prepare an activity that you'd like them to do whilst their being babysat and give them acknowledgements/rewards when they're done.

Another nifty trick is to try to contain all the messes to 1-2 rooms in the house; the rest of the house shouldn't be accessible and this makes cleaning a lot easier.

Mark Twain believed that punctuality is the biggest waste of time; this is true but it doesn't need to be. As you're learning to adhere to a new schedule, find little pockets of time where you can fit in small acts of self-care. Your workout could be split into 10 session of 5 minutes over the day. You don't need to allocate huge chunks of time (anything more than 15 minutes) for chores that just need to be done without any finesse; make priorities and do these chores in the little pockets of time you find.

There's also a saying in my office; "Money is the best time-saving device out there."

Whatever that you don't need to do, you should outsource (these are just suggestions):

For your house deep cleans, have a cleaner come over 2-4 hours a week to do, if possible.
Have someone come to your house to pick up and drop dry-cleaning and do the laundry for "outside clothes"; the rest needs to only be in the washer, dryer, and rolled when warm.
If you don't have an electric pressure cooker/an instant pot, get one of these; these take the labour out of everyday cooking and makes great pasta dishes/soups/pot roasts/rice and beans in 30-40 mins. Otherwise, a slow cooker (but this requires some planning to make things simple).

Focus on spending quality, awake time with your kids as a "reward" for self-care; take them to the park/for a picnic with the free time you have away from them. This means you can do the fun-mommy stuff like taking pictures of them, doing crafts with them, baking with them, etc. instead of boring-mummy stuff.

Hope these things work!

Hartley7 · 2018-01-09T23:01:27+00:00

I don't have kids so I can't speak about those particular difficulties.

Can you find other moms to do a childcare swap with? If not, is your husband willing to help out once a week so that you can have some me time?

My mother was very bitter and angry because she was exhausted from working full time and raising four children. I'm sure she would have been a happier woman if she had more help.

1stOfficer · 2018-01-10T04:55:32+00:00

Sometimes we all need to give ourselves a break, a free pass if you will. It’s ok not to be superwoman....honestly no one is judging you but yourself

Title	Schedules, balance, self-care, burnout, & guilt
Author	anothergoodbook
Upvotes	17
Comments	4
Date	January 9, 2018 9:27 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7paf1y/schedules_balance_selfcare_burnout_guilt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/schedules-balance-self-care-burnout-guilt.74069 https://theredarchive.com/post/74069