An extremely common question from women is, “When should I have sex with a man?” It is such a common question, that there are nearly predictable answers received upon asking the question. Here are some typical examples:
“Use the three date rule.”
“Wait until you are a committed relationship.”
“Wait until you are married.”
“It doesn't matter, have sex whenever you want.”
All of these are wrong.
If you have sex too early, you risk that he won't know you enough to be worth a call back. If you wait too long, you risk him feeling undesired by you, and being unwilling to wait. If you wait for arbitrary promises, there is nothing stopping him from braking them the next day. And whoever says “it doesn't matter” is way off too, it can be too early or too late, so it certainly does matter. No matter what you do there are risks involved, and there is no way to make the risk of the relationship failing after sex become zero. Even marriage is not a guarantee of “happily ever after” anymore.
The bottom line is, you can't expect a man to commit to you, just because you followed some formulaic rule. In fact, formulaic rules take out all the passion, the same way literally asking for consent every time you have sex takes out the passion. You can't make “rules” to govern sex, that is not how human beings work.
The problem is our sexual society is so broken, no one knows how to have sex anymore. Women are on their guards against men, and men are on their guard against women. Everyone is so busy trying to protect their precious gates (men being the gate keepers of relationships and women the gatekeepers of sex), the only way they can think to compromise is write up an official document stating the date and time they will agree on having sex, on the condition that he agrees to a relationship for at least a month's time. This is not how sex is supposed to work.
So, if you can't make a rule to have sex, when do you have sex? Obviously, it is still woman's goal to try to have the least amount of risk possible. The reason our society is so broken is that men and women no longer trust each other. It is my belief that sex happens with trust. This means we have to use things like common sense and intuition when choosing an appropriate sex partner, and deciding how long to wait. If you trust the man you are with, then it doesn't matter when you have sex with him, because you are using faith in him as a vetting system, rather than following an meaningless rule.
This system isn't perfect either, but it allows for you to adjust in event you make a mistake. If you give your trust too willingly, it will be a learning opportunity. It is a knob where you have fine tune control, rather than a blanket rule that is supposed to work for everyone in every situation.
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