Sherry Argov (author)

Shaela90 · 2017-11-10T16:49:01+00:00

I liked "Why men love bitches" and, while it seems like 'the sky's blue and the grass is green' kind of book, it does serve as a reminder that even in a relationship, and MORE SO, in a fresh relationship, women should not disregard their own private, separate lives, needs and desires. Some mystery is good. Having standards (as opposed to 'playing hard to get' - you shouldn't 'play', you should be careful with your time and who you spend it with - believe it or not, smart men do make the difference) is also good.

The career and 'independence' parts sounded a little bit different to me and not at all 'feminist'. I understood the advice as something along the lines of 'find what makes you feel at the top of your game and go do it, since confidence is very attractive. Go do the things that make you feel confident". Sure, this sense of accomplishment is just one of the things that contribute to personal confidence. Now imagine you're a single woman looking for a relationship ... while at the same time you're struggling to make ends meet and are constantly stressed. No high-value man would really pursue a LTR with such a woman, since her inability to provide for herself while single translates into laziness, poor money management skills and maybe even a tendency to live above her means...not really wife-material. Moreover, the stress bleeds into her interactions with her prospects, which should really be fun and light.

Career-wise...hmm. I keep reading this idea that a 'real career' is high stress and takes up a lot of your time. The poster child for a 'career woman' is a miserable, stressed out woman who comes home every evening bitching and needing to 'unwind' with a glass (or a bottle, lol) of wine. I disagree. That's not a career woman, that's an incompetent, stubborn, insecure and confused drama queen who's overworked and talked about behind her back because she wants to prove everyone that she can do it all. Red flags all over.

It's fine to want a career, it's fine to work for it, but when that workload and emotional load is large enough that one needs to bitch daily about it, it should pose some questions that maybe you're not doing what you want to do. Or you don't want it as much as you convinced yourself you do. I got a career I'm proud of. I strategize and work for it. But I chose it so that when the working day is done, I am able to leave work at work and go live my 'real' life. Having a career is a fine goal (if one wants it, of course) and it might be a part of what makes a woman feel at the top of her game, confident and hence, attractive. The career itself is of no importance to a man, yet if played right, the career-card could make you more attractive to a good man from a RMV perspective and he might draw the right conclusions - that you're not afraid to work for what you want, that you're not a gold digger, that you can strategize and stick to your plans for as long as it takes, that you're a responsible and well rounded individual, that you can stand up for yourself, etc. All green flags if translated into a marriage context.

All in all, I'd recommend the book with the note that the advice in it and countless others are just tools. Not abilities. And we all can use whatever tools we have at our disposal only to the best of our abilities.

MetalDevils · 2017-11-10T17:09:50+00:00

I haven't read the book, although I have heard of it. I tried to do a search, but I can't figure out if she's married or not. Do you know her own relationship status?

I personally have a really big pet peeve about single people telling others how to get married and find love. Why should anyone trust their opinion if they haven't been able to use that information to snag a guy themselves?!

The book sort of reminds me of another really popular novel that was also made into a movie. "Eat Pray Love." I read the book and later watched the move after it was released. I go back and forth on whether the book was good or horrible all the time.

On the one hand, I appreciate her sense of adventure and willingness to discover. She explores different philosophies and religions, taking a page from the locals in whatever country she's visiting at that moment. Some of the passages are quite beautiful.

On the other hand, this bitch is so high on herself. The entire book is how she got married and then decided that her perfect, happy life, was 'harming' her. She runs away from her home and her husband, and though it pains her, she knows it was the right thing to do.

She talks about how marriage 'devoured' her identity and she lost her will and spark. It's so insulting, because whenever she actually talks about her ex, he sounds like a great guy. Yet she's sobbing and falling apart and trying to 'heal' and move on from a relationship that, by ANY SANE PERSON'S evaluation, was pretty awesome.

The worst part is the end of the book and what happens after. She ends up falling for this guy she meets in Bali I believe. They are happy and falling in love and the book closes. The sequel to "Eat Pray Love" is titled "Committed." The author is dealing with a long distance relationship and the strain of him only being able to temporarily stay in the US is getting to both of them. She's 'grappling' with the idea of marriage, and takes a tour around the world to examine how other cultures treat marriage.

I never get bogged down by 'white traveler' stuff. When well-to-do first world people go sight-seeing in third world countries. Some people get offended about that type of thing while I just think it's interesting. Bourdain's "Parts Unknown" for example is a fantastic show.

But this chick just really pissed me off. She's supposedly grappling with this 'tremendous' weight of whether she should marry the man she says she loves or not....meanwhile she's hanging out with people that don't know for certain they'll be able to eat the next day. She adopts this false 'admiration' for how these people approach marriage culturally, but she completely misses the reasons why. When you live a hard, dangerous, and uncertain life, family plays a vital role in survival. Marriage is a necessary tool.

I was really put off by her entire approach in the second book because it wreaked of "Princess and the Pea" level 'issues.'

The 'best' part of the whole thing? In real life, she doesn't end up staying with this guy. I don't remember exactly, but they either never get married or they divorce. So this bitch, after all her kumbaya world hopping soul searching, still doesn't know shit.

I think it's a huge betrayal really, the arrogance required to write about searching for love and balance, only to realize you don't have any of it? I hope she feels like a massive fraud, but something tells me she doesn't lose much sleep due to her bank account.

The popularity of her first book tells you so much about the current landscape and general opinion on marriage and relationships. NO ONE criticized her for throwing a fit and running away. As I recall, she never even gives concrete reasons why the first marriage failed. Just vague metaphors of drowning and feeling trapped. She was still able to work, she states that she was happy, and he was happy, and they had wonderful friends and family. She told no one about her plans to disappear, she just upped and left!

In general I hate self-help books and anything that claims it will help you find love. Good advice is always free. If you have to pay for it, then that should be your first hint that it's going to be shit.

soxychamp · 2017-11-11T14:06:19+00:00

I have both Why Men Love Bitches and Why Men Marry Bitches. I love them! They were super helpful to me when I was going through my last breakup, and also now as I go back into the dating scene.

The "Bitch" in the books is basically just a girl who has her shit together and acts from a place of confidence in dating and relationships. She's contrasted against the "Nice Girl" who bends over backwards and has no backbone.

I was the "Nice Girl" in my last three relationships. I picked up these books during my Monk Mode, and they really helped me build some self-esteem, confidence, and standards as I start dating again. I'm happy to say that I can say NO to bad dating prospects now, which is a lot compared to what I was :)

I also recommend BlackGirlsAreEasy (blog) by this male dating coach, and his book "Men Don't Love Women Like You". Yes the blog title is super weird.. however the whole blog is about teaching women to recognize their own innate value and power, and start approaching dating and relationships from a place of power and control, as if you are the Queen/CEO of your life. (which you are!!)

"Men Don't Love Women Like You" have super practical step-by-step accounts on how to vet a date, which I find extra helpful, no other dating book I have read have gone down to that kind of detail.. (of course you should adjust according to culture, age group, your own circumstances... for instance the book says it is imperative for a guy to be talking to you in-depth and for HOURS during the initial dating stage, which I think is a little excessive in this day and age...)

loneliness-inc · 2017-11-10T16:32:22+00:00

I came across those books on the bookshelf in the local campus store. My reaction was meh, not wasting money to find out what's in a book like that.

Being a bitch can sometimes make things fun from a purely SMV POV. That's all fine and dandy if all you're looking for is a ONS. However, from a RMV perspective, being a bitch is extremely harmful and will destroy your marriage in the long run even if he sees it as a challenge to take on at first.

When looking for a long term mate, both SMV and RMV need to be taken into account.

Title	Sherry Argov (author)
Author	Rivkariver
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	November 10, 2017 3:23 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7c1q3r/sherry_argov_author/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/sherry-argov-author.73737 https://theredarchive.com/post/73737