~ archived since 2018 ~

Should you defer to him?

September 14, 2019

Yes- he consistently makes informed logical choices that benifit the entire group. He has good social skills and is sensitive to you needs. He is experienced in leading others and is considered well educated and able to work independently. He respects others intrinsic value and is open to listening to others.

No- He is impulsive, uninformed, has bad social skills, selfish, is manipulative, controlling, does not value others knowledge, can not let others lead, does not seek help when lost. Lacks a natural ability to sense others emotions, lacks natural intelligence. Is a dick.

I see so many women struggling with this. Being told that submission is a religious thing or they should give up feminism, jeez it hurts my head to hear.

I never was into following a mans lead until I started dating a surgeon. He is a man who is a great leader, intelligent, compassionate, respectful, and willing to give me his very best every day.

This has made me strive every day to be a better person. I feel like I am making the world a better place just getting him coffee. I make his life easier so he can literally save people's lives. Together we are both better. When I need guidance he would be THE person I would seek it from.

My whole life I have never been able to understand why any sane woman would give up control to a man... Turns out I didn't know any "men" I dated mommas boys, man children, fuck boys, losers, stoners, leeches etc.

It's not about giving men respect. Its about finding a man you CAN respect. Don't get caught in that trap that they are all equal. Men have a hierarchy for a very good reason.

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Post Information
Title Should you defer to him?
Author h0tNreadyTidep0d
Upvotes 193
Comments 43
Date September 14, 2019 10:09 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link
Red Pill terms in post

[–]mildly_sexy54 points55 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

There’s a reason that no company has two CEOs. It would be completely disfunctional. Somebody has to have a final say and make decisions. If a CEO and CFO have a disagreement, the CEO has to have a final say or no decisions will be made. And a good CFO will defer to the CEO and support his decision.

[–]lostinth0ts 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's why socialist democracy doesnt work

[–]PrettyBlueMushroomModerator | PrettyBlueMushroom[M] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Keep politics out of it. This comment is irrelevant.

[–]SEnutshell22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree completely. Before meeting my boyfriend, I couldn't ever imagine wanting to submit to a man. Turns out I just wasn't dating the right kind of men.
Thank you for this post, it's very well written.

[–]sensual_predditor16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Do you admire your fella?

[–]h0tNreadyTidep0d 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes absolutely. I think that it is really important. I think he is like superman. He is really buff but he wears these nerdy glasses and button up shirts and he just reminds me of clark kent trying to fit in looking nerdy and he saves people all day. He's a real life Hero! So Awesome! What I really like also is he seems to admire me back. He treats me with a lot of respect. He runs things by me and encourages me to really shoot for the moon in my own life like he believes in me. When I make a mistake he doesn't get angry, he sits me down and explains how he expects things done. Then he checks for understanding and follows up with me until he knows I am doing it correctly. It has really built up my self esteem and confidence in myself. He doesn't talk down to me or anything we work on things like we are partners but he still has expectations. Surgeons are all about following protocol so he just has ways things should be done. But its so consistent. I always know what to expect so it makes it easy to do the right thing. I love it.

[–]sensual_predditor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am so happy for you both :D

An ideal relationship may be where two people try to out-love each other

[–]ZegiknieEndorsed Contributor44 points45 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ability doesn't have to be 'natural' and feminism is very silly, but yes: pick him if he's worthy, dismiss if he's not.

But if you have already picked him, keep treating him with respect even on his off days. Have faith in him and he will rise to it.

[–]cassandrarose398 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is an excellent thread!

[–]blimpette6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I know what you mean. I haven’t been fortunate enough to experience this kind of relationship just yet, but I’ve seen it in couples I deeply admire (such as my parents and some family friends.)

How do you find men you can respect? Got any tips for attracting and keeping these types of men?

[–]la_scozzese4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Not op but I have a similar relationship.

My 2 cents would be that the best way to attract this type of man is definitely to be the type of person that attracts respect yourself. Develop interests and culture, volunteer your time etc. Aside from that, work out where in your area these people are likely to congregate and try to be there too.

Edit: not saying you don’t do these things already or that this is all there is to it, I think there’s always a good dollop of luck in there too

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Can you elaborate? What type of woman would this be? What would her daily schedule be like?

[–]la_scozzese1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s impossible to say what that looks like for each individual. What works for me and my husband might not work for you, besides when I say to develop interests they need to be things you are actually interested in so me being into watercolors and natural history might be the most boring thing ever for someone who is more interested in modern history and formula 1 racing. Same for the schedule, depends on personal situation, job, location and more

[–]Helmet_Icicle2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Successful evaluation filtering depends on fulfilling a set of criteria such as values, investments, or personal convictions.

To be attractive to the types you are attracted to is predicated upon understanding their objectives. All other choices being equal, why would you be chosen?

[–]blimpette0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good point. I think I have some serious thinking to do about that.

[–]RubyWooToo3 Stars3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

In those 2 examples, one man is clearly a leader and the other is clearly a fuck-up.

But in reality, most men are somewhere in between. They may be competent in some areas but not in others. Leadership just might not come naturally or their natural inclination toward leadership was emotionally beaten out of them by domineering mothers and “strong, independent” girlfriends.

Also, the less responsibility a man has, the less responsibility they are willing and able to take on. Women who need to control everything often complain about how little their husband does, but then when poor bastards try, they inevitably do it wrong so why bother?

[–]h0tNreadyTidep0d 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yes. The man is not a good leader. He has qualities from the NO list. He doesn't work independently, he lacks perseverance, he lacks a drive to continually improve his life be it within the home, his employment or even himself, he doesn't have good leadership skills, but most importantly he lacks the ability to gain others trust in a social setting. He is not capable/intelligent enough to consistently be someone she could trust and rely on. He becomes a burden, a child, to her and if she stays she assumes a caregiver role. That is what women naturally default to when they care for humans who need help with life skills. This is what is refered to as a "man child" man-children make women feel exhausted because unlike real kids these ones never mature so it's more like the stress of a child with a disability. This can build resentment, hence the disharmonious relationship. The angy nagging wife and the learned helplessness cycle.

[–]Selrisitai0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think the point that Ruby was making is that you give a false dichotomy: A strong leader versus a pathetic milquetoast. What about the men in between?

[–]party_dragon2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes. Good guideline to give to any daughters I might have.

Another one I came up with (not sure it's relevant though, I definitely haven't followed it from the other side): never have sex with a man unless you'd be willing to have his children.

[–]free_breakfast_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good post; nice and easy screening qualities to determine leadership competencies and qualities that qualify for submission.

[–]CuffsOffWilly 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Did you just want to tell people you were dating a surgeon?

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No snark

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy Link

i agree with the general idea but i don't think in practice you can be like "I WILL ONLY DEFER TO MR 100% ALPHA MALE SUPERHERO MAN". that's the vibe you give me in this post since you paint all your ex's as complete losers and your current guy as a caracature rational, masculine, alpha, mr 6 figures guy.

i feel like expecting to find some guy who's Mr perfect leader at all times is so ridiculously unrealistic that this post needs to explain that you can't be so rigid about this deference thing.

it's kind of setting yourself up for failure when you meet a bunch of real life guys who aren't perfect, have off days, have certain parts of life they are lacking in and generally have flaws like any normal human.

this just seems a little rigid, I"M NOT saying don't have standards, I'm just saying if you plan on only deferring to the perfect man, then you're likely never gonna defer to any man.

[–]h0tNreadyTidep0d 1 points [recovered]  (14 children) | Copy Link

I do most certainly mean exactly what you got from my post. Yes I have very high standards. The bar is impossibly high. I met him online after about 30,000 rejections on my part. During that time i continually worked on myself to become the type of person someone like him would not only date but want to marry.

Being in a relationship is the most important choice you will ever make in your life. It absolutely should take an extreme measure of diligence. Let me put it this way, you should spend more time finding your partner and learning how to have a quality relationship than you do on a college degree.

I am dating Mr Alpha. He was a body builder before he went to medical school, and he was student body president at his college. His friends are people from prestigious ivy league schools and distinguished hospitals. His medical scores in school were top of his class.

He also is just a really down to earth kind hearted person. He is a gem.

No you don't have to want the same things as me. I want someone who I can count on, someone who will push me every day to give 110% someone I can trust.

Everyone is human and has faults yes they do. But that is why I mentioned they need to be able to work independently. Because their faults should never become your problems.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

you're like the floyd mayweather of RPW. you talk a big talk but you can back it up so you pull it off and that's the only reason people let you get away with it without shitting on you.

unfortunately most people are not floyd mayweather. some people are manny pacquio, maidana, people who are still legends in their own right but they're not floyd.

point being that i think your standard of what you want in a man is for people who are going for that 10/10 winning type shit. you even said it yourself you went through SO MUCH SHIT to get to that guy.

it's admirable but here's the thing, that's not everyones path. it doesn't have to be everyones path, not everyone wants, cares enough about, or can even get, mr perfect.

the reason i'm saying all this is that your post needs a disclaimer about how if you have these extremely high standards, then finding a guy will become very difficult and is a long long process.

it seemed like you wrote this like it's casual advice... but it's not, this is very advanced level advice IMO and you told it like it's casual advice that applies to everyone, so that's my qualm with it.

i think you should mention that if you applied your thinking to dating then you're literally going for the top 1% of men. if not top 0.1%. so get ready for a fuckin GRIND of self improvement and action, unless you got very very lucky in the looks deparment

i mean a bodybuilding, student body president, surgeon.... comoooon bruh lol, that's not some everyday shit.

overall you just give a bit of a high maintenance vibe, I can't imagine a guy ever being relaxed around you, correct me if i'm wrong, it just seems like it would be so stressful knowing you can't have a single misstep around your GF.

[–]h0tNreadyTidep0d 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy Link

You know... At first for me it felt like a job interview. And i was like wow how could I score like this? And I was the one who felt like I couldn't make a single mistake, while I felt like he had a huge margin of error, that I was not good enough for him. Im not a model, i am a single mom in my 30s with 2 kids.

But I just did my best, showed him I liked him and was committed. I am in a similar field and we are both science nerds so we really hit it off. We can talk about drugs and brain pathways and physiology for hours. But I also knew he was incredibly smart and dedicated to his field. That daily tasks were a hindrance to his productivity so I elected to assist him even though I still have my own tasks to complete. In turn he guided me and I have never functioned so well, accomplished so much in my own life or been this happy. I know that the decisions he makes I can count on.

I say things casually but I put a lot of work into the psychology behind what I say and why I chose him and what I looked for initially. I studied how to create a worthwhile relationship and how to approach people socially. I studied mens behavior many different ways. I sought out qualities I wanted and I knew him when I saw him.

I wrote this post because as I stated people thinking they need to submit to all men because of Christianity or they need to reject feminism is false. Feminism is a very important part of women's health and safety as a society such as access to health-care and the ability to divorce an abusive husband. Christianity teaches to blindly follow men and that sets women up to disregard their own intelligence and agency. Again, a dangerous gamble after all, half of all men are below average intelligence. They can not necessarily make sound decisions. All men should not be followed.

Women need to make prudent decisions on who they let into their lives. They need to first love themselves and have the strength and confidence to walk away from a bad deal. They need to know they are okay on their own and relationships should serve as an enhancement to their own goals and quality of life.

You dont need to aim for 1 % but if you have made yourself the best you can be don't you deserve that mindset from a potential partner? Yes you do. I only mentioned him specifically to contrast my own paradigm shift.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am glad you mentioned Christianity :) Scriptually, it only literally says submit to your husbands. Not men. Your husband. The man chosen to be the leader of the family. Husband. Not men

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

my problem with what you're saying is that the default for women in mainstream society is to be "strong and I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T". we got enough of that.

it's a good thing that RPW teaches women to submit. I highly doubt many women coming here are already hyper submissive women who need a backbone.

it also does not surprise me that you endorse feminism based on all the stuff you just said. but that's a problem IMO. cos feminism is a toxic ideology.

i think the missing piece in what you're saying is that women these days are literally conditioned to be shrewish naggy and masculine. that's literally what they are taught.

and being shrewish and naggy to even an alpha guy, might eventually wear him down. maybe for the sake of your own relationships it would be best to build up your guy, be submissive, give him the reigns and see if he rises to the challenge. and hey if he doesn't rise to the challenge then you can dip, but at least give your relationship a chance.

BUT DON'T DO, what feminism teaches which is to assume he's a clueless fumbling idiot and treat him like so and nag and bitch like you're his mother until he shows otherwise. that's clearly a recipe for disaster.

how bout you assume and behave like he is your leader and then give him the space to rise to the occasion. then if he doesn't you'll know he's no good but i'm willing to bet there's plenty of guys who will take the reigns when you probably assumed they wouldn't.

no one said submit to every man but most western women are already a 100/10 on that strong independent shit, i don't think they need anymore of it.

in simple terms my issue with your point of view is that it's the same old feminist assumption that men are bumbling fools. and if you walk around with that belief than you're gonna act like the naggy GF/wife of the beta boy, and probably just attract more beta boys and turn your alphas into beta boys too.

give him a chance to lead when you have that feminist urge to take the reigns in a relationship, don't just hamfistedly steam roll over him when you get even an inkling of weakness.

i strongly believe and form my own experience can say that nothing makes me more energised to lead than when a girl shows me that she truly believes in my ability to lead. cos then you wanna live up to her expectations. (i'm a guy fyi). so everybody wins, you lead, she gets a leader. i think feminism seems to forget that if maybe women put a little more faith in their men, then their men would actually feel more confident and feel more like leading.

and sure you can argue that you need a man who doesn't need your reassurance but i'm not talking about a man who needs CONSTANT reassurance. I'm saying if you got a man who's generally alpha, more so than beta, and you find yourself in a situation where he seems shaky about what to do, instead of steamrolling over him, show him you have confidence in him. i think many women have forgotten how to do that.

[–]h0tNreadyTidep0d 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy Link

I think you have a misunderstanding of feminism and more holistically of women. Yes I am aware you are male. I think you have some personal issues beyond the scope of my post. I do not wish to argue feminism with you. You seem to have incel qualities and need to prove me wrong about my own life so you feel ok with yours. It seems you feel threatened that my relationship is unrealistic to you. For me it works great. The starting point of any quality relationship is to start with yourself and your own choices and boundaries. Therefore if you want a great relationship with a great woman it starts with you being a good well rounded person. That includes being respectful to women. No one will ever respect you if you do not respect yourself. Be the person you would like to date.

[–]swagswag1000 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

it seems like you're completely missing my point.

i'm ok with the fact i'm not able to maintain an alpha frame 100% of the time. if you got a guy who can maintain that frame 100% then great more power to him and you but that's not most men. and i mean even most men in the top 20%, or even the top 10%, fuck maybe even the top 5%. cos surprise surprise, no ones perfect.

your relationship is the ideal because this guys SMV is so so high, that at no point will you ever struggle to submit to him. that however is an anomaly.

even in the top 20% of men, every man has his moments of weakness, his moments of not being super alpha, moments where he DOESN'T know what to do.

and of course I expect a woman to lose some attraction in those moments... BUT i don't expect a woman to then lose faith in me overall. if i show weakness for a second and she attacks and starts bitching, or jumps ship or some shit like that, she's not really much good is she.

a woman who's actually relationship material will lose attraction when you show weakness but has FAITH based on your previous general alpha behaviour that you will get back on track.

your way of thinking seems to be that no man can have any sort of slip up. it's just not realistic and i'll just be frank with you, if you wanna know why it annoys me it's because you sound like a narcissist. you want some perfect unicorn man and struck gold and seem to have found him but now you're telling everyone else they also need to be looking for perfect men and "don't settle for less than what you're worth sistaaaaa". you're leading the vast majority of woman who follows your advice to failure.

it doesn't threaten me that your relationship is unrealistic. what I'm saying is that it is silly, the fact that you act like your extremely rare and lucky situation is some sort of norm that if not achieved, you're a failure as a woman. it's literally no different to the same bullshit "don't need no man unless he's jason momoa" narrative feminists are giving. not everyone can get jason momoa, so if every woman casualyl aims for jason momoa like it's what they're entitled to, then get ready for a life time of unhappiness.

like i've said already... you seem to have completely missed in your main post, the hard work and grind that went into becoming a woman worthy of the kind of man you got.

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This sounds like it's gotten personal for you. RPW advises vetting and finding the best man you are capable of finding. I'm not sure why this post has irked you so but I do think you need to stick with TRP for now and leave RPW to the ladies.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

OP didn't mention the hard work, grind and luck that goes into finding mr 100% perfect

OP implied that you should settle for no less than mr 100% perfect, as if to say these men exist in droves.

OPs self importance is what irked me and I'll concede i took it personal.... when she got personal.. so sue me i guess.

that is all.

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No excuses, you belong on TRP not here.

[–]poisonfern0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Completely agree about you with feminism. Most feminism and feminists I know are about promoting health, community, LGBT rights, and anti interpersonal violence for all genders. I don't know any feminists irl or feminist theory that is "men r silly lol" but YMMV.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Can you tell me what you did? I would like to do the same, please

[–]h0tNreadyTidep0d 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

I started out by making myself datable. That means I worked on any areas that I had room for improvement in. For me that was working out more and going back to school for a high paying degree. Having a high paying degree does 2 things. It puts you in close proximity to others who are well off and it allows for financial independence. Financial independence is important so that you have the ability to walk away from a bad relationship and it shows a man of high quality that you are worth keeping, that you are intelligent, goal oriented, can stick with commitment long-term etc. It tells him you aren't lazy you aren't gold digging you aren't going to plop your ass on the couch while he works. I also remodeled my home and made it beautiful. I garden, i take excellent care of my kids(yes im a mom) they are both in the gifted class, because I have carefully grown them. This shows that if me and him were to have kids he could reasonably assume i would take excellent care of them as well. They are nicely dressed clean and well behaved. They are fit and popular. They excel at sports and are engaged in activities. I made myself fun. I have hobbies i go on trips I do fun stuff with my kids. I joke around and find joy in simple things. Im overly perky and happy -at first this felt weird to me. But i stuck with it and it became a part of who I am and I like that.

I thought about what someone like him would want in a relationship and I shaped our encounters like that. I didn't text him too much. I didn't mind if he didn't call for a few days I was always happy to hear from him. I let him pick when we would meet and the activity so that he would enjoy himself. There are other things you can do, psychological tricks to get someone to like you things like mimicking their body language and calling them by name.

Men of high status value exclusivity above all else. That means not putting out until you are established in your relationship and saying things like i would never date a cheater i would leave the first time and i cant believe she disrespected him like that, showing that you have not only high standards for yourself but for him. Men need to feel a challenge. They like it when you make them wait. They want to reach your high standards and need some type of goal to work towards or they become board.

As for how I found him, specifically, I really narrowed down my criteria on dating websites. I found 99% of men do not have a quality profile. This has been a huge thing for me.

A quality profile should look like this. 5 photos- one head shot, one body pic, one hobby, one work related, one family, one fitness.

These pictures should be clean, well taken, be honest, friendly, show positive warm relationships, enjoyment of career and an interest in self directed goal behavior. Why a workout pic? Because it shows they take care of themselves.

The hobby should not be anything with drugs alcohol or violence. Fishing. No. Beer at a bar? No. Him and a hot chick best friend. No.

His career should be in the 6 figures range minimum. It doesn't matter what he does it matters he has good social standing in the community and that others trust him enough to do business with him. It says that he has confidence enough in himself to make long term goals and has a competitive nature.

There are several red flags you can see in pictures trash and a dirty mirror, tattoos are a huge no and could mean prison or at the very least a low class mentality. Guns are a huge flag for violence, as is drinking.

His written profile should be about 4 to 6 sentences well written and state who he is and what he is looking for. Making friends or a relationship is a good sign. Fuck buddies or hook up or anything like that is a no. There should also be a link to some type of social media. Look over this carefully. My guys featured his passion for hiking and he actually had an entire page devoted to helpful videos he hade on volunteer work and study tips for applying and studying for medical school. Super positive and lots of friends. Again, no drinking or other unsavory behavior. Just positive encouragement of others and very humble.

When we talked he was polite and well spoken. I let him chose the meet up spot but I insisted it be in a public place... This is a big red flag for them to insist on a private meet. Not only dangerous but just screams fuck boy. I have never to this day recieved a dick pic from him. That is a red flag. "But everybody sends them" yup lots of guys in the no pile.... Lots.

I was clear up front that I was looking for a relationship but wanted to get to know him to see if we were right for eachother. This gave us time to get to know each other and let him know that there was an expiration date to our meetings unless a commitment was made.

Not having sex right away is really important because if you get dick drunk it will cloud your rational thought and you may stay in bad relationship for good sex.

I also have a meet your mom rule. No sex till i meet your mom. This establishes you as the girlfriend and not as an unaware side chick. Men have been married with kids and the girlfriend is non the wiser. A man like this could not risk you meeting his mom. Its important the family accepts you in long term relationships

I can not stress enough how important it is to pursue your own passions in the workplace and find a man who is inline with that. I am working in the medical field and am very passionate about science and helping people. Being in the field gives me lots of exposure to doctors and also an understanding of the time and demands placed upon them as well as interesting topics to talk about.

One thing that has been helpful long term is that I have taken it upon myself to know a lot of outside information surrounding his work. I have learned about new technologies, medicines, court cases, regulations, financial investment etc. I have overtime made myself not only useful but irreplaceable.

[–]slappysq2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

im a mom

Ew. Huge red flag. Raise some other man's kid so their genes succeed and his don't? Absolutely no way a high value man who knows their own value would commit to that. Just because someone is jacked and makes bank doesn't mean they aren't a bluepiller at heart.

The extreme length and specificity in your comments leads me to think that you're wrapping up wayyy to much of your identity with the fact that you got a bluepill doctor to commit to you.

[–]poisonfern0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is a great post. The majority of online red pilled men don't seem to have it in them to be a good husband/don't want to be. My aim is NOT to find a red pilled man. Instead I'd prefer to find a naturally dominant but empathetic man.

[–]LateralThinker133 Stars0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Well said. I would add to your post that it's also about when you swallow your ego and admit that you SHOULD defer to his better judgment. Plenty of (often feminist) women have an issue stepping down from the Strong Independent Woman pedestal, despite knowing the relief it would be to do so. Insecurity and lack of being able to trust others is a strong discourager.

[–]h0tNreadyTidep0d 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I dont really see it as a sex driven trait. I see it as finding a partner that is intelligent. This is true in any circumstance. My mom worked in finances for over 40 years my dad was a technology guy. I would absolutely ask my mom for advice on money over my dad.

The whole women can do everything and be everything mantra is very overblown and I feel it can be a bit overwhelming. Yes you can do everything in your lifetime but not all at once that is not only a disaster it is exhausting. That is why I focused on raising my kids at a young and and am now working on a career. However that is difficult for most people due to the economy I have been fortunate enough to do that.

[–]LateralThinker133 Stars1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I dont really see it as a sex driven trait. I see it as finding a partner that is intelligent. This is true in any circumstance. My mom worked in finances for over 40 years my dad was a technology guy. I would absolutely ask my mom for advice on money over my dad.

You're misunderstanding submission. It doesn't mean that the other person is smarter, or better informed/educated. It means that you respect them enough to follow their leadership. For some women, that requires a higher IQ. For some, it does not.

Also, submission to their leadership doesn't mean they're the last word in all things - and any good leader knows a) how to delegate and b) how to acknowledge that others may have more useful, specialized knowledge (like your mother regarding finances).

[–]Michelle_1122 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

What if you do not want to follow someone's lead at all? You should be your own person no matter what . The relationship should just be a part of your life, not the center of your life imho. I'm hoping to go to med school too. Does that mean whoever I date must follow my lead? I bet you wouldn't want a man to do that or you'll just jump on and cuckshame him.

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No feminism.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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