~ archived since 2018 ~

SO appreciation post: positive masculinity

January 23, 2019

Spinning off a post from earlier this week in the RPW sub. I've been feeling even more appreciative of my SO than usual. I think the backlash to the Gillette ad is honestly nonsense... Anyone that knows what positive masculinity looks like is going to be appreciative of it being highlighted in the mainstream.

Case in point: my SO.

It's 8:30, I'm tucking my babies in to bed and gently waking up my dude. He's a cop who just worked an overnight (1130-730) and then a detail immediately following (8-2). He's exhausted and fell right into bed. I see him sprawled there and I just think, "hero".

He got home at 3 a.m. a few nights ago and I woke up to the sound of him shoveling and salting our walkway. He runs outside while I'm making coffee to warm up my car. He reads to his niece and nephew and stays with his elderly grandfather once or twice a week so that he's never home alone.

He's an amazing, exceedingly decent human being.

Men are JUST as "self sacrificing" as women.

Some dudes are macho dumbass assholes, and some women are stupid whiney bitches, but those cliches don't define the rest of us.

I like this sub because it recognizes common sense Good Stuff about what masculine and feminine bring to the table (caveat that I don't want to get too gendered/binary so nobody gets butthurt blah blah).

Here's to recognizing good, decent qualities in ourselves and in our life partners. Cheers.

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Post Information
Title SO appreciation post: positive masculinity
Author lafindublonde
Upvotes 101
Comments 22
Date January 23, 2019 1:33 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link
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[–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He sounds like a wonderful husband, father, son, and man overall.

It's nice to see good men highlighted in this sub. When I first found RPW I thought the "don't bash your SO" rule was ridiculous. What I realized is we need to look for the good in others while taking responsibility for ourselves.

I'm sure your husband feels the same way about you too!

[–]LuckyLittleStarModerator | Lil'Star[M] 33 points34 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If someone wants to get butthurt about things being too gendered/binary they are free to take it to one of the many subreddits where genders are thought to the same in every way that matters.

Here we accept that genders are different and complimentary.

[–]Windiigo16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My man is also a wonderful husband. Let's share the positive stories.

I can't lift anything more than a cooking pot due to surgery, which means he has to do more in the home than when I would not have this disabilty. But he never complains and just does it. This while he works full time.

He knows he is my captain but he never uses it to his advantage, he considers leadership a responsible position where you care for the wellbeing of those around you. He has a calm demeanor and never raises his voice.

He is a gem and I am truly lucky to be his wife!

[–]wegvisir7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

My SO works in a steel mill. So I too know the affects night shifts can have. When SO works the 2:00 - 10.00 shift (he wakes up at 12:00 and gets back at around 11:00 if the streets are not full) I normally do a warm breakfast. (Porridge, Pancakes, self made bread with tomatoes and dried herbs etc.

When he leaves for work (whenever that may be, the job runs in three shifts around the clock and he is doing all shifts if necessary) I make sure he has something substantial to eat. The canteen is ghastly (his words, but I have no doubt he is being nice...) and I love surprising him with easy, delicious take along food. It is my favorite way of supporting him.

Having three teenagers underfoot is also affecting him. Cause they copy his "sleeping pattern" (not totally convinced that teens would not do it regardless...;) ) but it is definitively not easy for the 3 year old. Being quiet all day while papa sleeps is hard, I remember that well from my own childhood. SO loves to take the kids to explore the Beauty of nature around us, and to old industrial sites to tell them about it.

[–]honeycomb1991 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do you have any suggestions for those good, simple meals? My fiance doesn't have access to a microwave at work, so I've been struggling to come up with good meals that go beyond just sandwiches.

[–]lafindublonde[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We're both mostly low carb so mine gets a lot of meat, cheese and veggies. Chicken salad, pepperoni+cheese, pickles, sliced peppers, cukes, pistachios,flax seed pita chips, yogurt. He's more of a snacky guy and he doesn't have a fridge or microwave so it's all gotta be easy access and cooler-friendly.

[–]ZegiknieEndorsed Contributor9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mine shoveled snow AND built a snowman.


[–]soft-sleepy-kitty2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is so necessary. Men as a community do have some things they could work on, but the way they're being dragged through the mud is just horrid.

My SO is the man I thought I would never find. He is the perfect balance between a manly man and a Care Bear. He cares only for the ones he loves, but when he does care, he really does. I have been suffering from PTSD, anxiety and depression for over a decade. Eventually it got so bad I became unable to work any longer, despite having my dream job. He immediately told me to stop the job and to take care of me for as long as it takes; I never expected that, as we weren't even married or anything. He doesn't earn a good wage, yet we're managing. He hates his job but still pulls it just so I can stay home. We have some solid plans to improve the future within the next 2 years (thanks to him, of course), so hopefully he can feel better as well. Not once he told me to try to get better, and whenever I even mentioned getting at least a part time job he refused to let me.

The funny thing is that all his mates are toxic pseudo-masculine betas who think he's an asshole because he doesn't give them the time of the day.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I know just what you mean. My husband of 30 years worked nights as a cop in south Dallas for many years. He is good stuff.

[–]lafindublonde[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They're something special, aren't they?

[–]redaloevera2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I appreciate this post amidst gillette shenanigans.

[–]Obnoxiousjimmyjames1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He loves you & his family, so he takes care of them in all ways big & small. As a man, It’s just what ya do.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My grandpa used to say that all masculinity is positive masculinity.

When I was a child I used to not believe a word it, but as time progresses I notice the old feller was really clever man.

[–]Hammocknapping-5 points-4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

He got home at 3 a.m. a few nights ago and I woke up to the sound of him shoveling and salting our walkway.

I can’t imagine not being out there right alongside my husband!

[–]lafindublonde[S] 11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

...I was asleep? And also he would have sent me back inside. And also I'd already shoveled and salted once that evening and the ice built up again. Sheesh lady.

[–]Hammocknapping-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My husband loves to brag about how helpful and committed to our team mission I am. I was the only woman in our little community out at 5:00 am clearing snow with their husband, so you weren’t alone I’m sleeping in.

[–]lafindublonde[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]RicoDunne 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

The lack empathy for men as evident in your post. What he can do for you is not the definition of positive masculinity.

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The butthurt is evident in your comment. If men built the world the positive masculinity is at least in part what he chooses to do for others.

You are not ready to participate in RPW. Focus elsewhere.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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