~ archived since 2018 ~

Some advice for the teen-aged girls who read here.

May 2, 2019

A word from the wise: Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up.

I know you just rolled your eyes.

Did you know that teenage years, the time when a child grows into adulthood has only been recognized in the last hundred or so years? Do you realize that there are many kids who can’t be a teenager because of war, or poverty, or cultural expectations, and so forth? Did you know that there is a growing faction of men who want to take this time away from you and marry you off before you reach 20 years?

Have I got your attention?

I really would rather that you didn’t read here, because most of the advice does not apply to you, but since you are here, I would like to point out some of the advice that does pertain to you and put it in terms that relates to your circumstances.

Don’t ride the cock carousel.

This advice is mostly directed toward women who make the conscious choice to sleep around. I would hope that most of you have not gone down this highway. If you have, take the first exit you can. That being said, it is also unrealistic in most cases to recommend remaining a virgin until marriage. Virginity is not an attribute when you are in your late 20’s unless it is due to ones faith.

So what is the balance? The balance is having a set of standards for yourself and only allowing a boy who meets those standards into your bed. It also means that every boy you sleep with should have enough of an impact on you that you will be able to remember him years later. One night stands will do nothing for you except make you feel used.

I know this either seems like a lofty or too simple attitude, but it really boils down to some pretty grounded advice. The RP advocates that a man’s attractiveness is behavioral. If this is true, then you must be on the top of your game when you are around young men so that you can really look at their behavior and learn. Now keep in mind that I am talking about young men who are your age. Older men add other factors into the mix and I don’t recommend trying it.

When I talk about being on top of your game I am talking about keeping a clear head in terms of alcohol and drugs. Get a buzz on with your girlfriends. Do not go out and party in social situations until you know how much you can handle and still keep your wits about you.

Do not put yourself into situations with any boy you do not trust who will pressure you into having sex when you aren’t ready or just don’t want to. Let’s talk about the concept of last minute resistance that is standard RP subject matter in how to get a girl into bed. It can be intense and I know because I caved to it once a long time ago, long before the red pill gave advice on this. Some men just won’t give up and I met my match. From being lectured on the agony of not finding release, to being called a dick tease, to being called frigid (look it up), and then threatened that he would tell all his friends horrible things about me, all the while refusing to take me home. I finally capitulated to have truly unmemorable sex except for the fact that I was so humiliated and I felt like complete shit afterwards. This was not rape. I conceded. I could have held my ground and I don’t think he would have forced me. I made the mistake of being alone with him in a situation that I was not equipped to handle.

Dress in a feminine manner that is appropriate for your age.

If most of the girls around you are in sneakers and jeans, you are going to look ridiculous if you are dressed like a 30 year old headed to the club. Sure you can wear feminine tops, skirts, and dresses. Just be sure you can move freely and act naturally in them without worrying about showing the world your ass or more cleavage than you intended. Leave a little for the imagination. Also, when it comes to make-up, think less is more. You want men to think of you as a natural beauty. Piling on the make-up and wearing clothes that are too sexual for your age makes you look cheap and also gives older the men the excuse to approach you, stating that you don’t look like an underage woman.

Enjoy being a girl.

There are occasional posts here teaching women how to be childlike and fun. This is your area of expertise. Use it. Have fun, be silly and don’t try to skip over this part of your life. You have a long time to be a RP woman. For now enjoy being a red pill girl.

I hope you will take my advice. I was a high school teacher until recently, and I also raised a daughter who is happily married with two children.

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[–]countrylemon42 points43 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Man I wish someone told me the first one. Really look back and miss out on not having learned about myself as a woman, rushing to date the first guy who told me I was pretty, not learning enough skills or adventuring enough. Now I want kids of my own and I think about how I don't want them to experiance the same thing.

Don't rush to leave highschool.

Don't rush to graduate.

Don't rush to have a boyfriend.

Don't rush to have sex.

Just take life at YOUR pace, not the pace it's dragging you along at.

Two points I would also like to add:

Challenge what you're told with what you learn.

Do not always take everything at face value, do your research, educate yourself, learn from other people, keep an open mind, learn to change your attitude, learn about the opposite perspective, but challenge what you are taught by LEARNING more. What "everyone" thinks or does does not always mean it's the correct information or right thing to do. Stand by your own knowledge, your own opinions, your own morals - but be a sponge. Learn something from everything.

One point I'd like to challenge is the one on makeup. I DO AGREE you should have your "Daily" face. Simple, natural, yourself. But DO NOT be afraid to play with makeup! Try fun colours, play around in your bedroom, take a million photos. Just don't make yourself James Charles on the daily. Leave it for special events or for a fun way of self-care. You don't really get many opportunities to have blue glittery eyeshadow on once you're past your twenties.

[–]partyandance3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Can you open up “Don't rush to have a boyfriend.” little bit?

[–]countrylemon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely! While it's wonderful to learn about relationships while you're young, a lot of young girls tend to rush into finding a boyfriend a lot of the time due to peer pressure. It's formative growing years and it's not wise to mingle your growing stages with trying to balance out someone elses.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciated my highschool boyfriend, but I wish I had more time to make friends, learn about myself, talk to other guys, learn more about what I like and dislike in men's character, how feel about what I want out of life.

It's just such a self-developing time, too soon for a serious relationship imo.

[–]ironsoul9933 points34 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I want to add that this is the best time to develop good habits, whether that be keeping physically active or learning how to cook. I want to add a mistake I made concerning the way I talk. I grew up speaking somewhat vulgar (like a sailor) and sort of street. It's very unlikely of me because I was/am a straight A student and not a trouble maker. However, this was the way I spoke around my peers because it was quite normal. I thought nothing of it until I realized it wasn't just the way I spoke around friends, I spoke that way at the store, around adults, basically in situations where it was inappropriate. I think it's okay to let loose around your girlfriends but you can easily get carried away and have words slip when they shouldn't that way. Develop good habits so you don't have to reverse them later!

[–]immaculacy18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with all but I think the reason virginity until marriage is harder is because other people aren't doing it. It's more difficult to be one of the only ones. I mean waiting is easy and fun, but being one of the few is harder. It's sooo worth it though. I wish more people would. Don't give up.

I like your advice about feminine clothing! And the part about enjoying being a girl is the best. :)

[–]ZegiknieEndorsed Contributor5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And don't risk pregnancy when you're not ready for kids.

(Applause for OP).

[–]waaatuGAHTfelizx4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I have never had a relationship in my life so I have followed number 1 even without taking the red pill. It's just that I am afraid of missing my chance because I never gain the courage to ask a man out or let a man who asks me out in (not that anyone will ask me out, no one has asked me since middle school). Anyways, I'm 19 right now and going to college which I know could turn me into a sour human being if I let it but I really want to be a researcher or an environmental scientist of some kind. I love nature and hope to have a family one day but don't know if it's for me because I have very poor social skills and I am attracted to nerds who although smart are also usually pretty awkward socially and I have a feeling they're better off without me focusing on their career. I am glad that you have reminded me not to feel bad not having it all figured out right now :) Thank you

[–]countrylemon2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

college is ther PERFECT time to start meeting people, if anything, your time just hasn't come yet. 19 is so young. I broke up with my highschool boyfriend at 21. I did a year of nun mode and ended up meeting 3 different guys, got to know them, ultimately ended up with my current fiance.

[–]waaatuGAHTfelizx1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is true, but I have been rejecting men all my life, and I don't know how I am going to reverse this pattern I have. In my junior year I met this amazing guy who wanted to go out with me and ultimately I said no even though I wanted to go out with because I was afraid of messing it up. The more I think about it the less I want to, and I don't think he'll give me another chance but there's a good reason to avoid girls like me and it's because indecisiveness and low self esteem breed toxic behavior. I appreciate the advice but I am just at a loss as to what I should do that's best for both me and my potential future fiance, and I wonder if I am already too emotionally damaged because of not sticking to one man ever in my life even though I am a virgin so it's not like I couldn't hold in my sexual desires.

[–]countrylemon4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's obvious what you need to do. Stay in nun mode and work on your self-esteem.

How you're currently feeling/treating yourself is not red-pill.

Trust me that you've got plenty of recovery time. Every day is a new day, you decide what to do with it.

You're absolutely not damaged and need to get out of that mindset. The only "damage" you cause is going to be related to your lack of confidence.

[–]stevierose789[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Honey, You need to climb down off this mountain you have created for yourself in your own head and recognize it is an ant hill. You are nineteen years old and you have the opportunity to go to college which if you use it well can be a great advantage. You are a virgin. For the love of god, quit referring to yourself as damaged goods. The idea that you are thinking about whats best for a future finance is not good. You have to figure out what is best for you. What do you need to do is get your shit together, find a purpose in life, and then when the opportunity arises and you meet a man with same values and mindset about life, you use all the knowledge you have learned by reading here to make a lasting relationship happen. You are still very young and have the opportunity to find a good man if you quit worrying about stupid negative shit about yourself and work on changing so you feel happier with yourself.

[–]LifeIsShortAndSoAmI2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Love this. Nicely written! :)

[–]peacocktoast2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Of course there is wisdom in not rushing ahead of your youth, or escalating through your life phases prematurely, but the RPW also associates youth (as it pertains to women at or above the age of consent) with high sexual market value. It's a bit confusing and perhaps misleading. Has the RPW more or less agreed on the prime marrying age for women?

[–]stevierose789[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can't say what the RPW stance on a prime marrying age would be. My answer would be when the time is right, because you really don't have any say about when. It is the man's decision in the end. You can do your best to make it happen when you find the man you feel is right to marry, but he might not feel the same way. So you move on, keep your heart open, learn from your mistakes, and give another man a chance. However, this does not mean bouncing from one man to another. It means being selective based on what you have learned and sorting through your feelings until you have an understanding of what didn't work. It is perfectly fine to marry in your mid to late twenties, unless you want to have eight kids. Then it might be a problem.

[–]Texas_Rangers 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Imo the earlier the better. Mormons get this right. But in the modern world, it’s more like age 28 for women.

[–]peacocktoast1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A little late, but appreciated nonetheless.

[–]pazjoc-6 points-5 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

I dont recommend being a virgin till marriage I recommend doing whatever you feel is right and this is coming from someone who's only been with one partner I dont see the value in virginity and I think it's used against women to keep them in control dont buy into it.

[–]stevierose789[S] 27 points28 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

The reason so many RP male advocates stress virginity is because they believe it is a asset in the sense that if they are the first and the last there is no doubt as to the father of the children. However, I don't think most men get off on the idea of taking a woman's virginity. It is typically not a fun romp in the sack.

I recommend doing whatever you feel is right.

This can be dangerous if you only go on feelings in the moment. I believe in trusting your gut, but only when you have truly appraised the situation. If you sleep with every guy who feels right that night you will never remember them later or learn from the experience. If you can't remember each and every man you sleep with then you are riding the cock carousel.

[–]observantpariah2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

*RP male advocate*

I don't stress virginity. Mainly because many women that reach a certain point suddenly become obsessed with the feeling that they are missing out if they have not had at least some outside experience. Almost like clockwork, a college-aged girl who's only really had 1 boyfriend in her life for all of high-school starts wondering (logically) what else is out there.... and keeps feeling that way if she stays with him. It's a hard edge to walk. Not enough experience to compare to and you may not value what you have. Spend several years having casual sex with multiple partners and you'll stop valuing anyone.

Lol and no, taking a woman's virginity has no upsides.

[–]stevierose789[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think the whole "seven year itch" struggle in a marriage is a time when a woman who has only had one sexual partner begins to really wonder what else is out there. She may love her husband, and still regret her marriage because she feels like a part of her education was interrupted. A woman who has a little taste of other men will have an understanding of her sexual preferences and she can be reassured that she chose the best man and be happy with her choice.

[–]pazjoc 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

Who cares about riding the whatever ? Seriously, sleeping with people does not make you any less of a valuable person.

[–]stevierose789[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have not said that sleeping around makes you a less valuable person. I am saying that you will value yourself less if you do it.

[–]pazjoc-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah but the thing is some women dont value themselves less it's different for everyone

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is RPW so as a point of RP theory, we do care. u/stevierose789 has the right of it. We aren't here to debate RP theory with you.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I was a late bloomer when I was in college (grew up religious) and I def tried to find a bf/husband then. Let me tell you Boys (yes Boys, not men yet) between the ages of 18-23 are not looking to settle down. Even the most nerdy dudes aren't ready. I didn't get my first bf until I was 27, which is pathetic IMO. So if I would've waited I wouldn't have the life experience I have today. Girls should be selective with who they sleep though.

[–]pazjoc4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yes I agree with being selective but at the end of the day it's not our choice women can make their own choices as long as they dont regret it later. If I ever had a one night stand I believe I would strongly regret it based on my own morals nd values but I'd someone else would not be personally affected emotionally by that then they shouldn't be judged for it.

[–]stevierose789[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am not judging women for their personal choices. I am just trying to help young women make sexual choices that will serve them the best in long run. I am presenting my point of view because I am sick of the "enjoy the decline mentality" and if I can offer advice that may help one woman make a good decision, that is all I can hope for and it is enough.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I 1000% agree with you. I have some cringe memories, but I don't regret the experiences. I learned not to make those same mistakes again.

[–]not_really_neutral-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You lost me at the growing faction of men who want to steal youth from youths. Do you have a source or is this sensationalized fiction?

[–]nevomintoarce2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You should have finished that sentence:

Did you know that there is a growing faction of men who want to take this time away from you and marry you off before you reach 20 years?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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