Edit: My husband, of course, buys me gifts. He just rarely surprises me with one.
I haven't been on Reddit much these last few days and still, I've managed to stumble on this post and wanted to offer my perspective:
The post I've linked above is written by a woman who told her boyfriend not to get her a birthday gift, because she was offended he asked what she wanted. When he ordered a bouquet of cookies for her, she broke up with him by ghosting, because he should know she eats healthy and she was so offended.
- If you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes, so don't tell a man you don't expect a gift when you do.
- Don't get offended if your boyfriend of six months doesn't know exactly what you want, especially when you claim you truly don't need anything, as the poster did.
- If you say no gift and are lucky enough to get one anyway, don't be ungrateful and complain! Say thank you, even if it's off the mark, especially if you've only been dating for six months.
- Even if you eat really healthy, it's totally normal for people to splurge on their birthday. Birthday cake is a thing for a reason. Perhaps a fruit arrangement would have been a better choice for this man, but the poster's reaction was way out of proportion when her guy had never experienced a birthday with her and didn't know if she let loose or not.
- Never break up with someone by ghosting them. It's a horrible, lazy, thing to do, especially over cookies.
On May 6, 2017, I married the absolute perfect man for me... and my stars is he not perfect, just like the woman he married. One way he's not perfect is in the gift giving department. For our first Valentine's Day, he gave me a cute jar filled with Reese's, my favorite candy. We both found the holiday a bit silly and had agreed to go small with gifts. My husband, however, didn't buy enough candy and filled up the jar with some I already had in my freezer. He gave me my own candy... and I thanked him and laughed. Now, it's become a cherished memory and that jar sits on his dresser, making me smile every time I see it, because sometimes good men suck at giving gifts!
This past Christmas was the first time in seven years that my husband has surprised me with a present (Edit: He, of course, buys me gifts, but I'm rarely surprised). He bought me the necklace that matched the earrings I'd asked for for my birthday and I was elated, because he's just not great at coming up with the perfect present. He must be too busy working hard to provide for his family, fixing things around the house, making dinner at least half the time, playing with our daughters, clearing the quarter acre of brush in our backyard, building shelves for every room of our house, picking up grocery orders so I don't have to get our girls out in the cold, chopping firewood, helping me clean, planting a garden... the list goes on and on.
I married a good man, ladies. He's one of the best... and he's meh at gift giving. Even when we were dating, he opened doors, bought me dinner, planned fun dates, comforted me when I cried, made me laugh, introduced me to new things, changed my brake pads, loved on my dog, cooked for me, and that list goes on too. It just doesn't include giving me amazing presents.
Now, maybe this was the last straw for this poster and she'd previously had other issues. I don't know, but the comments suggest the mindset I'm getting from the poster is at least rampant among other women. When you're in a relationship, with another imperfect being, you have to look at the whole picture. Even if gifts are your "love language", a concept I find to be oversimplified and likely untrue for this poster who claimed she needed nothing, your partner might not be great at giving them at the very start. People grow and learn about each other and sometimes... they just come up short in some areas. No one is perfect, but regardless, in the face of any gift given with good intent, gratitude is the best response.