Hi! So, I will be as brief as I can be without doing myself a disservice. I have been married for 6 years, 7 in august. It all started well enough, but time passes, kids come along, bad habits form on both sides.
For some background, my husband, I believe, has strong alpha tendencies, however his upbringing forced him into a beta mindset/behavior (dad left when he was 5, he is exactly like his dad, his mom treated his two sisters as more important/special and he naturally defers to a female in a home setting, but he resents it bitterly). I love my alpha. I need my captain. But as I said we fell into some bad habits, ie communication not so good. I also suffer from depression, so I stopped caring about me and focused on everyone else. No one was happy, at all. We were at splitting point. I found the red pill about two months ago, i implemented two changes immediately (well I read this quote on this subreddit, "belly full and balls empty") and work on my bad habits constantly (just because he keeps asking what I want for dinner - though I cook it, or what I want to do, doesn't mean I have to have my way - and to be honest I'd rather he just says what he wants) So, things have improved. My next challenge is to work on the outward me, as its very easy to not care about hair and make up when I'm just doing housework and playing with our kids. It does make a huge difference to my mood though so I will keep at it and hope it gets more habit and less self reminding. My long winded question is, how can I gently encourage him to be more alpha, less beta and more proactive about his health (he's a smoker who needs to exercise - not overweight but needs to move - not criticism, just concerned) I am fully aware of what I need to do and have been making slow but steady progress (I actually found cutting out swearing to be the easiest change!) Thanks for reading and please, any tips, suggestions for reading or whatever (oh! routines!!! please!) are much appreciated.