I spent the past year improving myself, trying to be happy and radiant and graceful. I made a lot of progress but then I had a fallback this past month or so and I have been anxious and fighting with my boyfriend, which is completely unlike me. Also, work has been stressful and I have needed to put my nose to the grind to control things and get results, which is a masculine trait. I'm a teacher, and this term I have learned a lot about disciplining students, which I found is also necessary as a maternal trait. I realized that a man isn't going to ask a doormat to raise his children, he needs a functional woman who can do a good job of raising his offspring as well.
Also, my boyfriend has been having some work problems and I've been very compassionate, but now I'm getting impatient and he also mentioned he wondered how far he can push his fallbacks onto me before I say something.
How do you ladies strike the balance between being sweet and pleasant but also being functional? And also being sweet but having boundaries? I feel like I'm either one or the other. Do you just learn to switch personas?
I also constantly go through the fear of being too much of a doormat (he'll find a more functional woman) and being too aggressive (he'll find a woman who won't call him out).
tldr; overall I have been feeling more masculine and combative because historically I have let people walk all over me and have been too agreeable, and my boyfriend has also been saying I'm a bit of a pushover. Now I've gone the complete opposite way and I feel like I don't know how to be sweet but also not a pushover.