~ archived since 2018 ~

Summer holiday

May 22, 2016

Dear Ladies,

I've been dating an amazing and fantastic man for the past four months - everything I could ask for with the proper relationship dynamic I desire in a RP mindset.

I'm leaving soon for a two month summer holiday (I'm a teacher). We live abroad in a country where there's essentially nothing to do unless you have work. I suggested I stay for a bit to be with him but he really pushed me to travel to see my family and take my professional development course, especially since I already had the plans before I met him.

He knows I'm a loyal woman and I stay committed to whoever I'm with at the time. But I don't know whether I should ask him if he is planning to do the same for me because that would mean our relationship is going somewhere more long-term (which is preferable to me of course) and I'm afraid to pressure him or sound distrustful by bringing up the discussion. Especially because he's such a high value man I feel like he could have any woman he wanted.

I'm positive I'm not a plate; he's proved to me in so many ways already. And of course I do my part to help him out with his needs.

Any suggestions on how to go about this? Should I wait until he says something? Or just assume he'll stay with me even when I'm gone for that long? Four months is long enough to have a substantial relationship but still short enough to be potentially temporary...!

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Post Information
Title Summer holiday
Author vanBeethovenLudwig
Upvotes 7
Comments 4
Date May 22, 2016 10:57 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
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[–]baked_him_cake5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Personally, I would ask what his intentions are. Traveling for 2 months is a significant time especially when titles are not established. He might not behave like you're a plate, but you might find him treating you differently upon your return.

I'm on mobile, so I cannot see if you have any flair, but your post never mentioned your age. Whether you're in your 30s or even early 20s, I have always believed in making ones intentions known. Do not waste your time on someone that doesn't want the same thing.

Do you want a relationship with this person? Then you should say so.

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you, this is an excellent response. I'm 27 and of course looking for a husband to have a family with. I've always been afraid to pressure boyfriends but I think you're right about making intentions known, especially since I'm not getting any younger...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think /u/baked_him_cake is spot on with her advice. It's natural for women to have the relationship talk within the first few weeks, he should expect it. You're fretting about being pushy, but, after 4 months of dating (and a long holiday), you risk appearing nonchalant if you don't address it.

[–]Mentathiel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't put it so bluntly, if he already thinks it's a taken that you're committed, it might offend him or disappoint him that you distrust him. Try to hint at it, ask if he really doesn't mind that you're gonna be away for so long, say you are worried about him getting lonely or horny or something like that, if you're able to perhaps visit once in a while for weekends or invite him over for a weekend. Whether he'd be interested to meet your family is also a good indicator of how committed he is.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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