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Surrendered Wife - 4 months in and unbelievable improvements

[deleted]
September 4, 2015
105 upvotes

I happened upon the red pill life back in January of this year. I was looking for ways to improve my new marriage by getting back to traditional values and was trying to research ways when a link popped up concerning red pill. Eventually I found my way here and became obsessed. My old ways were mostly easy to give up - or so I thought. I adopted the red pill woman mentality relatively easily. When I read The Surrendered Wife and tried to implement Laura's ideas, I hit some road blocks.

I would literally have to trust my husband with everything; our livelihood, multiple decisions about family and money, stuff I knew based on our two year relationship, he couldn't do. He forgets literally everything I tell him, even if it's multiple times. One weekend I had to work and the kids wore the same underwear two days in a row! I fell apart, came here to try and get my questions answered on how to fix my husband and make him an alpha - and had my ass torn apart and handed back to me. I almost gave up the whole red pill idea right then. But one poster in particular (I'll always remember her!) said something that clicked and it as something to the effect of I was only fooling myself into thinking I had surrendered but by the way I told my story it was obvious to red pill women I had not.

So I tried again. Things honestly couldn't get worse for my husband and I unless he was to lose his job. We rent a place from his parents, drive cars that are over 10 years old and are financially quite poor and over burdened. So I thought, "what the hell? Things truly can't get much worse" and I just let my husband have it all. Do you know what? I have never been more happy to be so completely wrong about something in my whole life!!!!!!

What a burden has been lifted off my shoulders to not handle the finances anymore! He's stepped up, created a budget, he gives me a budget I can stick to and as long as I'm under it I know we have money. He goes after sales bonuses like a lion after prey because he now sees the money in our account directly - I haven't looked at our bank account in months! Just recently my husband needed to replace his car and we had money saved because he had begun a car fund. He was talking up a real storm about a car I was worried would cost too much in upkeep and insurance and isn't practical for our family - do you know he gave up on that car himself?! He asked me my opinion on the car and I was DYING to give it to him but instead I did as Mrs. Doyle instructed and replied "whatever you think." He instead changed his mind and bought a 4 door sedan and actually came in under budget! And our insurance dropped $25 a month! The change has been incredible!

The best part is that my husband noticed my changes and thanked me the other day. "I've never felt more in charge of my own life or family and I've never felt more like a man in any relationship." That's what he said to me. I'll always be red pill and always be a surrendered wife. It truly does work.

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Post Information
Title Surrendered Wife - 4 months in and unbelievable improvements
Author [deleted]
Upvotes 105
Comments 15
Date September 4, 2015 7:35 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/surrendered-wife-4-months-in-and-unbelievable.2314
https://theredarchive.com/post/2314
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3jnove/surrendered_wife_4_months_in_and_unbelievable/
Red Pill terms in post
Comments

[–]iamz3ro22 points23 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Ladies, remember: Most men are good, they just need to taste the leadership. Taste it, get addicted to its sweetness, then start chasing it.

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day he will want more leadership.

[–][deleted] 0 points0 points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]TalkToHusband9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That isn't relevant. You are supposed to choose a man that you feel is better than you at making decisions.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Much of the time the decision my husband makes is the one I would have made anyway. We were very close friends for many months before dating and eventually marrying. We are extremely compatible in virtually every way possible. However in the off chance we do disagree about something, as head of our family, I defer to his judgement. This is not about who is better at what. He can change a car tire faster than I can but has no idea how to stock pile sales at the grocery store. We complement each other. We balance each other out.

If you have to ask a question like that, are you sure you're in the right sub? Your question is condescending and reeks of feminism. Maybe try the blue pill page?

[–]valleycupcake14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Great encouragement for the rest of us!

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's what I'm hoping! Ladies who are struggling, just let it all go and let your husband be who he is and do what he does. It is so so worth it! Laura's principles work you just have to give it a few months.

[–]RPDameendorsed woman9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have never been more happy to be so completely wrong about something in my whole life!!!!!!

Love it. :)

I fell apart, came here to try and get my questions answered on how to fix my husband and make him an alpha - and had my ass torn apart and handed back to me.

Been there. The ladies here are tough, but if you let their advice marinate, you see that it is a specific brand of tough love. They're trying to help, and helping doesn't mean coddling.

The best part is that my husband noticed my changes and thanked me the other day. "I've never felt more in charge of my own life or family and I've never felt more like a man in any relationship." That's what he said to me. I'll always be red pill and always be a surrendered wife. It truly does work.

You removed yourself from standing in his way and that allowed him to successfully lead you.

Congrats!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks! Yes the ladies here are tough lol, I didnt know it was possible to be embarrassed online but I totally was after my first post. Lol but I love rpw.

[–]MrsNickJGloria5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I read this earlier this morning and I swear I think you just saved my relationship. For over two years I've been trying to have a male led marriage. With one little stipulation... I control the finances. It's the only thing I have refused to give up, and he never wanted to take over. And I think it may just be why things have never worked out quite right. Well, after reading your post this morning I asked him to take over. At first he was pissed off and said no. After awhile he walked up to me and said "Gina, I will do the finances from now on. And I'm going to do a damn good job with them." I felt so turned on in that moment. Then he asked for his credit cards back that I had taken and hidden from him months ago to keep him from using them. I cringed when I handed them over and he said something about not using them but just wanting to have them back since he was going to be in charge. I guess as a matter of dignity probably. And I thought about your story and I said "You know what. I'm not going to worry about that. I'm just going to trust you." I'm very excited though. I feel like this is really going to help me fall into my gender roll more comfortably.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Aw! Thank you! He will step up I promise you. He's going to make mistakes and you're going to want to throw this idea out the window but please don't. You'll have to start over again. It's like my husband is a new person and so am I.

[–]drugdoctor873 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Congrats, continue to be a great First Mate and he will continue improving as a Captain :)

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Congratulations, happy to hear your marriage is doing well :) It's always encouraging to hear about the theory being put into action and producing results that exceed expectations, good motivation and encouragement for the rest of us :)

[–]LifterofThings4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm so glad to read this! It can be so scary relinquishing control, but it's also so rewarding to see your man step up to the plate in ways you may not have even known he was capable of :)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, so true. I didn't know he was so capable! I must have been out of my mind before....!

[–]liquidmalteaser2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wish I had read this book before I broke up with my old boyfriend!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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