We want to believe that life is fair.
We want to believe that the things you can't control don't matter.
But life is a game. Human brains have biases that can easily be exploited if you play your cards right. Women who are young and beautiful are rewarded. Men who are rich and powerful are rewarded. Everyone else is generally left to the wayside: the old, the weak, the poor.
You're good-looking? You're rich? You're friendly? You're a good person! You are a superhero!
You're ugly? You're poor? Not socially adept? You won't socially succeed as well as your peers.
Sure, there are exceptions and complexities to all of this that I don't fully understand. Exceptions are not rules. I see so many posts on certain subreddits saying that rich and beautiful people are secretly shallow and unhappy. I'm sure some of them are, but the majority of them are good people that get to reap the benefits of being the ideal, and average people just attack them to feel better about themselves. To feel that life is fair. Yet the average can't help but admire, because they are playing the game right. There are people that exist who have it all, they are just born that way. There are some who will never have it all, and they are just born that way.
I know when you are born, life doesn't "owe" us anything. I just wish we didn't tell people to just "be yourself" and the good things will come because this simply is not the truth. You can be a "version" of yourself that matches more closely to the ideal, an ideal that is constantly evolving, but you are still changing yourself. We all have to whether we like it or not.
You can't opt-out of this game because humans crave the acceptance of others. They need it to survive.
It all just seems like one big sick evolutionary game. Men cannot be themselves. Women cannot be themselves. People cannot be themselves, it is not advantageous to do so.
Of course, then there is the argument of defining what even the "self" is in the first place. A discussion that probably belongs on the philosophy subreddit.
Closing note: So, what is the point of all this? I am not sure, I am just thinking. Though I don't really love that this is the way the world works, I am fully aware that this is a system I CHOOSE to participate in, one that I will be a part of for the rest of my life. I could easily just save enough money to go live on a wireless ranch for the rest of my life. I don't want to sound like I am whining, I am constantly trying to improve myself every day. I am simply reconciling with the harsh truths of reality. I'm not sure how I will ever tell my children that this is the way the world works, I can only hope maybe I can advocate for a better world for my children to live in.