I've seen a few posts here in the past about how important it is to be aware of your SO's love language. My husband and I each took a test t see what our respective love languages are, and it turns out ours are pretty different. His test revealed that 'physical touch' is his preferred love language, mine indicated that 'words of affirmation' were my preferred love language.
Fast forward 2 years: Recently, we had an argument, and my husband told me that he felt that I wasn't showing him enough affection. I was totally shocked. I had been working really hard to make sure I had special things baked for him, got up early to get his coffee ready in the mornings, and had special things taken care of so that his lie was easier when he got home from work. We were having sex at least once or twice a day, but lately it has been really painful and it has been harder than normal for me to feel enthusiastic about it.
I had been working very hard to do things to make my husband feel loved and appreciated (which he appreciated) but he wasn't feeling fulfilled. In other words, just having sex by itself wasn't fulfilling his preferred love language. He needed to feel desired, and I wasn't communicating that.
I'm glad we had the conversation that we did, but it also made me thing about how often miscommunication can happen as a result of love language confusion. People tend to show appreciation and express love in the same love language that they prefer to receive it. I hadn't realized that when my husband was coming on to me, he was also trying to show me affection. Because my love language is different, it is sometimes difficult for me to recognize that that is what he's trying to communicate.
I just wanted to write a post about my experience, because I don't know how many other women find themselves in this position also. So many women complain that their husband isn't affectionate towards them, and doesn't meet their needs in that department. Keep in mind that your husband might be expressing love and affection in the way that comes the most naturally to him, which might be different from what you expect.
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