I just found this sub on accident and was sucked in. Ive been raised in that dont-need-no-man-career-comes-first way by my parents (who once argued that one of my boyfriend seemed sexist because he offered to drive me places too much??) sorry if my formatting is bad im on mobile!
I immediately started recognizing all the things NOT to do are the things ive been doing for the past 3 years of my relationship.
Here is how I would have treated my boyfriend today, without having found this sub:
-Wake up, complain to him that its cold and stay in bed so he has to do the morning chores (take care of pets and so on) sometimes I even pretend to be asleep so I don't have to do them
-Constantly ask him what he is doing if I dont think he is 'being productive enough'. Nag him about his plans for the day (so I can approve of them or hold him accountable or some shit)
-If I am cleaning, point out how I am cleaning and he is not. ugh
-suggest that he take out the trash tonight or something he can do without my suggestions, he can clearly see the trash is full with his own eyes. (he isnt an idiot why have I been treating him like one!!)
Here is how I treated him after binge reading this sub and what happened:
-got up before him, offered to make breakfast burritos (he declined, better luck next time!), did some dishes and cleaned up a bit.
-Saw him doing 'nothing' and said NOTHING about it. Went along my own goddamn day and did whatever I wanted.
-While I kept my mouth shut, he organized our game collection, found some games of mine I had lost and organized them, organized our cabinets, hung up some posters (and I did not nag about the best place to put them or blah blah blah), added some of his old things to our value village donation bag
-now he is off to the store to buy some stuff he needs, and I did not pester or question how much money he was spending.
-after we are getting sushi and he decided the time we are going!
has he secretly been this productive and awesome the whole time and ive been squandering it with constant nagging? so far survey says yes....