Has any ladies out there become so good at being a soft place to land that your boyfriend/husband has stopped taking you out because he's so eager to come home to you?
I've been dating my boyfriend for almost nine months now, and the first few months he took me out to dinner 1-3x/week and occasionally out to meet his friends.
The past month he's been eager in coming to my apartment to eat a home cooked meal and occasionally a massage/blowjob about 2-3x/week. Which I love doing for him, don't get me wrong.
However, I'm starting to have transactional thinking - he works 60 hours a week which is why I invite him to my apartment so often to relax, but he also tells me sometimes he's up late (like 3am) or going out with his guy friends (and smoking cigarettes, which I don't do and he knows I disapprove of it) when he's not spending time with me. So now I'm wondering why he chooses to go smoke with his buddies instead of offering to take me out to dinner especially since I feel like lately I've given him a lot on my end. For over one month he hasn't taken me out once.
So - is it appropriate to have transactional thoughts in my situation (especially him as a boyfriend not a husband) or should I just STFU/CTFO? We're slowly getting serious (have discussed meeting my parents and taking a trip together, just waiting for days off).
To give him credit he did mention taking me out to a fancy Japanese restaurant when he gets his next salary and lately he's been struggling with career dilemmas/life choices in which I've been supportive of. So I understand he's going through a rough patch which is why he might be smoking (he's not a regular smoker, he's a stress smoker).