I had two posts regarding two issues in the last month: 1) feeling taken advantage of being I was such a soft landing for him and 2) feeling unloved and uncared for. I couldn't keep my feelings in (I was trying to be agreeable) but one day (after an incident where I was jealous of him "flirting" with his friend's wife), everything was let out and we fought for about three days.
Unfortunately I did say some mean things in the heat of the moment which I'm not proud of, and I did cry a lot but at the same time I felt it showed the magnitude of my feelings because I had mentioned some things before and he kind of dismissed it.
My boyfriend is an amazing amazing man and he sat down with me and was so patient and caring, and confessed that his boss was thinking of closing his company so he's had a lot on his mind, and also he thought he was doing a favor by "giving me freedom to live my life" when I wanted him to be more present. I simply told him although I have my job and my own friends and interests, I still feel lost if he's not there to give me direction. I also confessed I had been cooking up new recipes (buns, cakes) in hopes of luring him to my apartment to see me and he just laughed and told me I was adorable (and also teased me for my crying) - he is wonderful in turning a situation into a good one.
Anyways, we shared a lot of our opinions regarding relationships and having a family together, and we also came to a conclusion that we need to accept each other (because we are from two different cultures, English is not his first language) and acknowledge that just because I don't think something is OK doesn't mean he also thinks that. He did start being more there for me though and listening to what I'm saying and I'm also understanding him more and what his actions and mindset is. Thankfully we are both pretty tolerant and open people who have many different kinds of friend groups so we're can relate more to each other.
After these incidents, we've come to a point in our relationship where I feel more secure in his love and also feel like we're a team instead of being an entitled princess taking his resources/me being a servant catering to his every need. It's strange the feeling of serenity and this new level of love with him, and being the sweet Italian man he is he tells me I'm his woman and I am just so in love with him again :)))