Walking the line between submission and being a doormat?

margerym · 2013-07-26T19:19:19+00:00

Maybe a couple points we could discuss are, where do you draw the line between submissiveness and doormat-ism?

Shameless self promotion

FleetingWish · 2013-07-26T17:29:05+00:00

I used to be (and sometimes still am) a complete doormat.

Why do you say that? What makes you think you are a doormat?

Whisper · 2013-07-27T04:40:48+00:00

To submit:

to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another

It is in the word another that the different lies between being submissive and being a doormat or perpetual victim.

The question is "who is another"? Another can mean anything from one's husband to an abstract principle. And the nature of submission varies greatly depending on who one submits to.

One of the variances in human sexual dimorphism is the females of the human species are much more submissive and obedient than the males.

But this still leaves them with a very important choice... who to be submissive to. Because to be submissive merely means to obey someone.

Feminists are submissive to feminism, and the community of other women who hazily define it. You will often see them declaring their absolute fealty to feminism in the same breath that they declare themselves "independent women", and totally missing the contradiction.

To be a doormat means to be submissive to almost everyone, or to too many people. No one likes a doormat, because they are untrustworthy. Sure, they'll do what you want... until they are out of your sight and someone else talks to them for two minutes. A doormat is loyal to whoever bullied them last.

To be less of a doormat, you don't need to be less submissive. Just choose more carefully who you are submissive to.

[deleted] · 2013-07-28T15:14:58+00:00

I sorta had that problem, but not for long.

I think the easiest way to make your important needs known is to voice them... The man will not guess them, he doesn't have the mind-reading ability. If they are stated calmly, well-presented and reasonable, I think a man will understand. He won't be mad, and there is nothing to fear.

HannahRoo · 2013-07-28T15:49:16+00:00

I would think one way to deal with your situation is to get some girl friends to fill that need for companionship that you put on your husband. If he cancels on something you had planned together, you can call your friends for a girls night out instead of sitting at home, crying and feeling like a victim. Just remember: they aren't there to listen to your marriage problems, and they won't stick around if that's what you use then for.

Johnrockwell1 · 2013-07-28T05:22:05+00:00

Damn sweet and submissive women make me melt.

empyblessing · 2013-07-26T17:32:00+00:00

She used the D word.

Title	Walking the line between submission and being a doormat?
Author	sugarcrush
Upvotes	5
Comments	21
Date	July 26, 2013 5:26 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1j3wzc/walking_the_line_between_submission_and_being_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/walking-the-line-between-submission-and-being-a.83908 https://theredarchive.com/post/83908