What does compromise look like in your marriage?

Jalapeno_Jesus · 2021-11-09T16:46:00+00:00

Was married and food was oddly a pretty big thing.

It took a fair amount of time to negotiate a food solution that balanced eating at home vs. out, and eating what relative to our respective nutrition, fitness, and allergy needs.

I would start discussing food with your man now, and I mean a deep dive, talk about about cookware, meal prepping, nutrition/fitness goals, stable foods, frequency and location of purchasing food, and of course this all connects to family budgeting, depending on your family income that may or may not be a concern.

This is actually a blessing in disguise though...because you can approach the entire conversation as a means to optimize and improve your diets, and position accountability both ways to an agreed upon plan.

If you slay it on this topic you WILL be healthier and happier together as a byproduct by default, which has huge benefits particularly when you're old/end of life

Sea_Bookkeeper_1533 · 2021-11-09T16:29:44+00:00

Great question!

We see eye to eye on a lot of things plus we both have our separate things we handle so our compromises aren't really painful etc.

One thing I can say was a compromise is that I wanted a dog and he wanted no pets at all, so we got a cat because it's less of a hassle than a dog but still a pet that I can cuddle. 😂😻

anothergoodbook · 2021-11-09T18:18:37+00:00

I’m really trying hard to figure out something we compromise on. And really we are so different in personality and taste it usually comes down to who feels more strongly about it.

We also have our “domains” that we handle and make the decisions over. I do 99% of the child care so I make those decisions (doctor, clothes, food, etc). He does all the house upkeep and car upkeep so he makes all of those decisions

TheTwincessMaker · 2021-11-09T17:14:21+00:00

My husband and I really struggled with this, being 29 and 32 when we married. He'll admit that he had more trouble with it than I did, having been the sole decision-maker in his life for so many years. I'll never forget the arguments we had over decor. I like bright colors and soft textures and glitter. He likes dead animals on the wall and leather. He vetoed anything feminine. Ultimately, he got his dead animals in our converted garage and I got soft and colorful throws and pillows, so they're not overpowering. The one color we could agree on was red, so there are a lot of pops of red in our house. Over the years, he's actually begun to trust my taste and the fact that I wouldn't decorate in a way that made him feel underrepresented. He actually let me paint the bathroom a deep purple last summer. I included a shower curtain that looks like reclaimed wood and little cactus soap dispensers and some southern rodeo decor, since his family has a deep rodeo history. He loves it and I feel like it's pretty gender neutral for a guest bathroom. I'd never abuse that trust by decorating in pinks and glitter, unless it's in our girls' room.

Money was a different story and we're still working on that, five years into our marriage. I'm responsible with money, but he's more responsible and, because he's so aware of our finances, he can be controlling with money and has to fight to keep that urge in check. It helps that we have individual accounts where we each get $50 per paycheck to do with what we please. I'm also perfectly willing to point out when he's being unfair or too domineering and he responds well to that.

Entertainment has rarely been a problem. We do things together and he'll play video games while I read. Splitting time between our families was a battle at first, just because his mother isn't used to having to share, but he stood up for me and the fact that I have family too, early on and that set a fairly healthy precedent.

cbunni666 · 2021-11-10T14:05:57+00:00

Compromise isn't going to work in everything. You want it to but it won't. With that being sad. As long as you have a respectful partner, you can do a push and pull when it comes to getting what you both want. It's a hard art to master.

BumbleBitny · 2021-11-09T21:27:42+00:00

I subscribe to compromise is not a good option. We go with sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. If you compromise neither person is actually truly happy so how is that fair? While if you strive for a fair amount of winning and losing 50% of the time you get exactly what you want. Pretty much we discuss until someone says alright you win. It's normally whoever is the most passionate because clearly they care more about the outcome.

For big decisions sometimes it takes many many many discussion sessions until someone finally wins. But we've been together 8 years and still haven't had a stale mate yet. Haha

Title	What does compromise look like in your marriage?
Author	gretawasright
Upvotes	28
Comments	10
Date	November 9, 2021 3:37 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/qq69yh/what_does_compromise_look_like_in_your_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-does-compromise-look-like-in-your-marriage.1085049 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085049