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What to except from a RP man in a LTR?

August 25, 2014
4 upvotes

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Post Information
Title What to except from a RP man in a LTR?
Author LeggyBlueEyes
Upvotes 4
Comments 23
Date August 25, 2014 10:57 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-to-except-from-a-rp-man-in-a-ltr.165702
https://theredarchive.com/post/165702
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2ekoim/what_to_except_from_a_rp_man_in_a_ltr/
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Comments

[–]IanIronwood6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Come read my blog, if you haven't already. I won't say Mrs. Ironwood and I have the perfect RP marriage, but we do okay. She's a globally respected member of her highly technical profession, I'm a writer (who reviews porn, admittedly). She's one of the strongest, most resolute women I know. We've been married 16 years, together 23, 3 kids. Done properly, TRP has made our marriage far, far stronger.

Not because I dominate my wife. I am merely dominant. She can decide whether or not to follow my lead. I'm not always right. We don't always agree. She's my first officer, not my slave or servant. I do all the cooking (she couldn't cook her way out of a refugee camp, I've cooked professionally) and we mutually support each other's careers. A lot.

But our focus is on the raising of high quality human beings. That's always top priority, and everything else is secondary.

As far as secondary things go, however, sex is a big one. Early and often. It facilitates good communication, empathy, and showering. It's not oppressive in the slightest. This Kung Fu works, when you do it right. Promise.

Ian

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've cooked professionally

When someone makes flatbread, should they spread lime juice on it while its dough, or after its been cooked in the skillet?

[–]Inversal-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Can you re-explain this to me? So far it sounds like this to me:

  1. Your wife makes more money than you. (I am hypothesizing based on technical incomes vs writer incomes.)
  2. You do the cooking in the house.
  3. She is a strong, "independent" woman. (I know you didn't say "independent, but it sure sounds that way.)

I'm not saying this can't work out for couples. Could you please give more examples of how your relationships is relatively RP? Of how the decision-making is made in the house? Or how you support each other?

I don't want to sound like I'm criticizing you, I have read through some of your other posts on the advice you've given to people and you talking about your children in relation to game.

[–]gabilromariz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can read plenty examples at theredpillroom.com, and as far as I can tell it works because the important RP things are there: she is loyal and supportive, she doesn't try to be the head of the household, all the stuff you'd expect from a good wife.

While all the things you mentioned are very important in some relationships, they don't matter in others, as long as everything's in place where it counts: he's the capitain, she's the first mate, the other stuff usually falls into place, no matter who makes more or who does what in the home (besides, keeping tabs on that stuff isn't very good for any relationship)

[–]IanIronwood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ironically, I'm actually making more money than her for the first time in a decade, thanks to my fiction writing. But yes, in general her career pays more than mine. She also comes from an affluent background, while my folks were decidedly working-class.

  1. Yes. I also do the lion's share of the laundry. I'm just better at both. That being said, she has plenty of chores that don't involve either.

  2. She COULD be independent, or fake it reasonably well, if she wanted to be. But she's honest enough with herself to understand that she does much better in a complementary relationship, and sees "independence" as a foolish rationalization for divorcees and hyenas.

But it isn't about the housework. The domestic side of TRP is kind of a symbol, and its easy to get wrapped up in that symbolism and miss out on the important part. I don't see it as me being forced to do housework: I see cooking as how I establish control and order for my family. FOOD COMES FROM DADDY. It hasn't come from Mommy since she lactated. I cycle the wash but she folds and puts it away. I mop the floors because I'm just a lot better at it than she is, too.

So what DOES she do? She's on the kids. All three of mine are geniuses (on paper) and have a gazillion enrichment activities. Mrs. I also handles the insurance, all medical issues (A LOT) and non-cooking-related household chores. But she doesn't do anything serious without consulting me, and I am regularly informed of progress and asked to make policy decisions. She also works a part-time job in her field, is highly active in her professional community, is a Red Cross volunteer, a Scout leader, etc. We have a busy life.

And that's the thing. It isn't that we're doing anything much different than other couples, it's the WAY we do it. I make decisions. She expects me to make decisions. She follows my lead unless she thinks I'm being stupid, which doesn't happen often. She's very accommodating of my vast sexual needs. And she understands that sometimes "it's a man thing" and she backs the fuck off.

Hope that helps explain. I'm willing to elaborate.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Fighting ceases because each person isn't out to win or exert dominance. If you respect him, and follow his lead - then everything becomes a discussion with no tension or malicious motives. You will both focus on what's best for one another and the relationship. He will be honest and frank with you, and know that you won't react badly when he tells you the truth. Your bedroom life will become more active, you will flirt more, and recognize all that he does for you in a way you previously weren't aware of. You will learn to listen more attentively, and trust him when he tells you not to worry. You will be proactive about guarding his reputation and the reputation of your relationship. You will learn to work together as a unit, identify common goals, and tackle issues in effective ways (you won't both be trying to do the same tasks, or waste time doing things twice).

This is just a quick outline, there's a lot more that goes into a good RP relationship, and the benefits are endless if you are both doing your parts (and he does a good job of being consistent).

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Spot on! I also think that there will be an element of trust that you've never felt before with another person. You will fully trust that he has your best interests in mind and that he truly cares for you. And you'll learn to trust in his decisions and trust that your part in the relationship is necessary and important for your success as a couple. ♀

(not sure if I did that correctly)

[–]trpbot[M] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Confirmed: 1 point awarded to /u/PhantomDream09 by blondie_brownie. [History]

[This is an Automated Message]

[–] points points | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

When you partner with someone, it's usually because they've proven in some way trustworthy. If you're going to force "earning trust", you may be cutting your own leg off. Don't continue dating an untrustworthy man and try to turn him into a Captain. Find a man who does nothing to shake your trust and then just let him be and follow his lead. It's definitely a plunge, but it's worth it if harmony can be achieved on a daily basis.

[–] points points | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You have to be a good woman, and date a good man. Your SO is in the process of changing. You have to decide if you are going to support him and work on yourself as well, or if you are going to throw in the towel.

[–]sierrasechoEndorsed Contributor0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

This sounds no bueno.

I'm not sure on your relationship details, but you are still with a man who has "shattered" your trust? In my world, them be leaving' words. Cracked trust, or bruised trust sure. Shattered. Not so much.

How long have you been with him? What happened? Do you have kids? How old are you? It feels like some very relevant details to your story are missing.

[–] points points | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well, have you given him any reason to want to make you a priority? What do you do to deserve his consideration and affection?

[–]jamieoneal821 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Give him BJs every other day. ;P

[–]TheTerrorSquadEndorsed Contributor2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Don't expect it to be singing off into the sunset holding hands. A true redpill man is no force to be reckoned with.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That depends entirely on the character of the man you're talking about. You have to know how to identify the qualities of a good man.

[–]sierrasechoEndorsed Contributor0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Reliable and honest are traits of a good man, not necessarily a red pill man. The red pill is amoral remember. (Meaning it has no stance on how one applies its observations or tenets). Many RP men are dark triad or try to emulate dark triad traits. We do not recommend a relationship with such a man generally. RP looks very different from man to man.

Find a good man, not an RP man ladies.

[–]sierrasechoEndorsed Contributor0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Reliable and honest are traits of a good man, not necessarily a red pill man. The red pill is amoral remember. (Meaning it has no stance on how one applies its observations or tenets). Many RP men are dark triad or try to emulate dark triad traits. We do not recommend a relationship with such a man generally. RP looks very different from man to man.

Find a good man, not an RP man ladies.

[–] points points | Copy Link

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[–]sierrasechoEndorsed Contributor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I get where you're coming from, but I think it is highly dependent upon the man. Two completely different men can be as Red Pill as can be, yet have very different goals and routes to get there. A man can be RP and spin plates forever, or he can be RP and settle down with a family. One may be RP and lie to and deceive women (though many - including me - would argue that is not RP, as RP is about improving oneself, and better access to women as a consequence, not the target) or he can act with integrity and honesty.

As they say, the Red Pill is amoral, as in it doesn't take a stance on WHAT you should do with the information it gives. It just sheds light on the nature of interactions between the genders.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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