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Why should we neglect 'Pseudo Body Positivity' culture set by people.

February 18, 2021

"Be comfortable in your own skin" "It is okay to be obese as long as you are being yourself" Statements like these normalise obesity and unhealthy lifestyles in my opinion. It's high time we normalise fit bodies and healthy workouts/diets. Most of these sites/celebs who promote this motion are the ones with fit bodies anyone can dream of. You can be comfortable in working out and eating healthy. Rather than preaching people with these so called 'self love teachings' teach them how they can improve their lives by changing their diet and daily routine.

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Post Information
Title Why should we neglect 'Pseudo Body Positivity' culture set by people.
Author RedPilledWomen
Upvotes 103
Comments 44
Date February 18, 2021 7:50 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
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[–]Mewster18181 Star51 points52 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think that it's important to accept things that make us unique and that are "not within our control".

For example, I hated my nose and small breasts growing up. But you know what? A lot of my insecurity around those two aspects of myself were completely silly. My husband likes the way I look, and while I'm sure I wasn't every guy's type I never actually had any issues finding people who were interested. At age 28 I'm very glad I never went under the knife for those things, it would have been silly and I'm not sure it actually would've been good for my self-worth in the long run. I think coming to terms with myself and realizing that nothing is wrong with me are far more valuable for my mental well-being than trying to look like a covergirl.

But what about things we can control? Weight, hair, skin care, etc. There's one thing these all have in common, they're all signs of health and taking care of oneself. I don't think these should be ignored under the guise of "self love" or "body positivity". If you actually love yourself and feel positive about yourself then you should want to take care of your health and well-being. Obesity is unhealthy, not brushing your teeth is unhealthy, not having proper hygiene is unhealthy... and not only are these things unhealthy, they display to the world that you do not care for yourself adequately.

Not one of these things actually costs a lot either (for the average person, for example I personally excuse issues like cystic acne because I know how hard that can be to fix, even people who are actively working on it may not get relief until they've tried many, many things). Most people can get away with using drugstore skin care, hair care, and dental products. Maintaining a healthy weight or losing weight is much, muchore affordable than a lot of people act like. Eat fewer calories, that's it. That should automatically be cheaper than eating excessive calories. Organic and fresh produce are not a requirement. A gym membership is not a requirement either.

Ultimately we should appreciate a health focused, self acceptance approach to body positivity. What you cannot easily change you should work to accept, and for everything else you should just focus on health.

[–]YYCchatterbox43 points44 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Self love was a powerful movement that morphed into self delusion in recent decades.

The idea that you should be ok with yourself in a stagnated or recessive position in life, is deeply unattractive to most people. It's like dating a murky swamp instead of a fresh rushing glacial river. One moves forward, the other stands still. Sadly a huge percentage of people have tricked themselves into thinking that self love means that you stop moving forward, and even further, that you lean into unhealthy habits and ignore the potential consequences. Many people unfortunately won't change until they reach the brink, and sometimes that edge breaks away before they can take a step back. The tools are out there already, the solutions are simple... it just requires willpower and fortitude.

But no one has it, because guess what... all that "self love" made them lose confidence in themselves completely.

Also I think you meant why we should "reject" instead of "neglect". Took me a second to break this title down although the body text did help.

[–]P0WERPLANTH0MER27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I remember when body positivity was all about normalizing unchangeable characteristics such as burn scars, physical disabilities such as missing limbs, etc. It was all good.

Now it has been co-opted by fat activists who not only believe that being obese is permanent and genetic, but also believe that they can be healthy in the long run being obese. And then it expands to all the other things, like taking before/after photos of other people as personal attacks, believing that children being obese is ok, and that they should intuitively eat when their "intuition" is out of whack in the first place. It's a sad mess.


[–]abacabbmk15 points16 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Want to be fat? Fine. I dont care. Theres obviously serious health implications of that choice but you're free to make your own choices.

Want to shove your views down on other people's throat (no pun intended) and inconvenience others because of your decisions? Going to shame others for wanting to eat well or being healthy? Not gonna take that. Nah.

[–]P0WERPLANTH0MER8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't understand the whole thing about trying to force society to believe that being obese is in any way attractive/beautiful.

I have a slouchy back, I'm not going to force everyone around me to think slouchy backs are attractive. I know it's ugly and it's something for me to work on.

[–]taikutsuu2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

People have started to identify themselves by their insecurities or shortcomings and then use that to demand compliments, validation and all that because they think that's how to work around the immense insecurities they have. Just to have people convince you instead of doing the work themselves. They think their insecurities define their worth as an individual, which is sad of course. If someone like that were you, they would probably say they are a slouchback and hence slouchy backs have to be attractive or else you are undermining their worth as a slouchback.

[–]abacabbmk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

100% agree. Not only is it ridiculous, it says a lot about that person if that is the attitude they have. They seem to spiral in circles and the craziness becomes their identity.

[–]cartmaninfit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Being fat is an inconvenience to those around you and tax payers. It's a very irresponsible and selfish "choice" so I can't say I'm okay with people being fat but I can't change them therefore I have to accept it.

[–]spotted_kat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wish the whole movement would be rebranded and morphed into advocating “self-respect”. This is more about how you behave towards yourself, AND how you allow yourself to think about yourself. Do you intentionally move? Do you feed yourself like someone you care about? Do you dress yourself well, making sure you’re self expression reflects how you want the world to see you? This means caring for ones body and well being, determining what you can change and accepting with GRACE and self compassion what you cannot.

I don’t believe in promoting certain body types, which aren’t realistic for many women. Each woman knows that less body fat will likely be more aesthetically appealing and feminine. But this is less likely to be an issue when she’s prioritizing and respecting herself.

I also don’t believe in promoting certain diets which tend to follow fads and and where science lacks consistency (for example, an egg can be bad or good depending on how it’s evaluated, literally science can’t make up its mind). Should you be keto or should you eat Mediterranean? Don’t loose the forest for the trees and get distracted into something unsustainable, have balance. Be well rounded in all things including food.

Can you sustain these behaviors towards yourself and teach your daughters these things so they grow up with healthy mind and body?

This is what counts in the big picture

[–]YoungLostKid2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well since I suffered for years from major depression, abuse and eating disorder, and I have been overweight for a while, trying to lose excess weight without much success, I firmly think that there is importance in accepting the state you’re in in the present, without fully giving up on the goal of bettering yourself. Hating on myself because I was a failure because of my obesity didn’t bring me anything useful and it’s a hurtful to your own being.

I fully accept the fact that I’m obese and I appreciate how far I’ve come, WHILE also working on bettering my physical and mental health;

I think that the dis ton toon between body positivity and Fat fetishism

[–]aussiedollface22 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree. I don’t think anything unhealthy should be celebrated, that includes smoking, drugs, anorexia/bulimia, and obesity.

[–][deleted]  (7 children) | Copy Link


[–]golden_eyed_cat5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Although I agree with most of the points you make, I find it hard to believe that you can truly love your body at any size. After all, if you love someone, don't you want to take care of their health and prevent them from getting ill as well? As we all know, obesity (and being severely underweight) leads to several serious diseases and if one truly loved their body, wouldn't they be making an effort to get to a healthier size?

[–]ihopemewingworks4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I agree with you here, I think that it's important not to hate yourself no matter what size. But being unhealthy and fat is the biggest form of self hate in my opinion. I also think it's fine to love yourself if you're fat or if you are lazy or if you are unhygentic etc but as long as people don't delude themselves into thinking that it's attractive or be angry why someone prefer someone who is fit or someone who shower regularly etc. As long as we continue to be our best, and I mean to truly be our best then self love at any stage of life is important. Let's say that you have a bunch of weight to loss, I don't think you should hate yourself for that, but you should recognize that you are damaging your body first of all and also its not the best version of yourself so love yourself trough every stage but love yourself enough to change bad habits, behaviors etc. I also certain traits shouldn't be loved, dosent mean a person have to hate themselves just realize that and be better. Not being lazy, being healthy is not hard. If you feel like your best version is you being ceo on Google, that's very different from being just a normal healthy functioning human being so take that with a grain of salt when I say work towards being the best version of yourself. Being healthy is very basic and there is no excuse (other then diseases etc that most overweight people don't have), being a ceo for Google isn't a basic human thing, washing your hair when it's dirty is also basic. Wow I'm rambling but you get what I mean probably

[–]golden_eyed_cat2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes, I get what you mean, and I think I agree with you. Although hating yourself for being an unhealthy size might motivate you to lose or gain weight, it can severely damage your mental health and even lead to eating disorders. However, there is an entire spectrum of emotions you can feel for your body. Obviously, not every under- or overweight person resents themselves for their weight! However, I simply find it hard to believe that they truly love themselves, especially if they are not trying to improve their health and care for their body.

[–]ihopemewingworks2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes it's never good to actually hate yourself for being overweight, even less so because you can actually change it. I can understand how people can hate themselves for looking a certain way (like a certain feature), I don't think people should do that either but it makes more logical sense to me because you can't change it. I can understand how you hate being in this state of not being your best, but you aren't defined by that, unless you don't change it. I think people can pretend or even feel like they truly Ove themselves even if they are very overweight, but that's not what self love is, it's so damaging and unhealthy, you'd never let your baby have the worst foods, never move and overweat like crazy. Not doing what's healthy for you isn't true self love. If you value who you are and you value your body you'd want to do your best to take care of it. Seems like we agree ☺️

[–]G77R23D0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Consider that your obscure overlapping is part of the problem.

[–]Jualkyn4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In my culture body positivity doesn't exist. If someone's fat people tell them like it is. There are pros and cons to this but most people dont sit and pretend to say obesity is good. Western culture is cancer when it comes to this because they are on the other side of the extreme. I will never say obesity is beautiful it's disgusting health hazard that ruins lives and claims over 50 percent of Americans

[–]deerprudehence1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it's important to accept yourself and be comfortable with yourself enough to actually care for your body. Being morbidly obese is unhealthy, per physicians and science. People should have self-esteem, but we shouldn't also enable really unhealthy behaviors. Being obese is a symptom of a problem, whether it be uncontrolled thyroid or poor eating habits. Not saying that we should go ahead and bully people, but being obese is not a good thing to be encouraging especially to the younger generation on social media.

[–]Quillatr0n1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

....I’m ready to get downvoted but here we go

As someone recovering from years of bulimia and anorexia, i think there are 2 sides to it.

  1. Of course. Being morbidly obese is obviously not healthy and the movements that are happening today can sort of twist what is “healthy” And what’s not. Truth be told, genetics do play a massive part of your health and weight. A good diet of course contributes to the rest.

  2. Something that actually took me a very long time to learn, understand, and except is that health truly looks different on every single body type. It’s impossible to generalize what the perfect “weight” is. Just as there are people who are naturally just going to be more thin and petite, there are people who are legitimately naturally going to be bigger. Certain ethnic groups are more prone to different genetic features. Height and weight and body shape of course being one of them. Obviously it’s not set in stone, but there is a truth to it.

For example, i’m 5’4 and 115lbs right now. (I’ve put on quite a bit of weight during recovery). My BMI indicates a healthy weight, but I haven’t had a period in 2 years and my fertility is definitely in question. 115 is probably not the best weight for me. My bones are still achey and my hair is always falling out. Last positive check up I had, I was probably 132lbs? A little heavier. But much much healthier.


Someone’s body in not always an indication of their health and its unfair to assume it is.

[–]Prairiehousewife1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m an overweight woman. After being over prescribed psychiatric medication and gaining 70lbs in 1.5-2 years... I’m fat. It’s not cute.

I feel bad for my poor husband. (Though he assures me he’s still happy and just wants to see me move forward and get healthy. Wonderful man)

Because I’m overweight and dress nicely people have the audacity to assume I’m PROUD of it. I can’t tell you the comments I’ve gotten on how nice it is to see a woman embracing her size. I’ve also gotten plenty of fat women trying to bond with me over it. Kind of like how smokers bond over being smokers.

When I tell them I’m NOT proud of my size, I AM trying to lose weight, and it IS unhealthy I get looks like I just killed Santa Clause.

It’s quite disgusting. It has seeped from the media into the every day and it’s horrendous.

[–]DeLovehlyCoconute1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's definitely "pseudo." Body positivity was originally meant for people who couldn't change their bodies, such as those with deformities or burn scars.

[–]Jenna_Rink301 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

As someone who oscillates between underweight and lower end of healthy BMI because I think anything bigger than a US2 is fat, I think this applies both ways.

The drive to be skinny is more psychologically damage than obesity. And we don’t even think it’s a problem.

[–]RiseAndPanic4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

As someone who has struggled with disordered eating in the past, this. I’ve historically seen a lot of posts in this sub glorifying being thin and it’s a slippery slope for sure. Healthy and fit is what we should be striving for.

[–]Jenna_Rink301 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When I want to trigger myself skinny, I find the kinds of posts you’re talking about. I’m not anyone’s problem but I hope it stops because only health should be prioritised above all when it comes to our bodies.

[–]EffectiveBlackCat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do you want the man in your life to be obese or inshape? Ask yourself that.

[–]stripedtanker0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you should just focus on being healthy, fit, and hot. Honestly, the media is doing you a favor because they are misleading tons of people into doing the wrong thing. The reality is, men are attracted to healthy, fit, attractive women. You have an advantage if you see things this way.

Media can brainwash people all day into what beauty standards should be, but innate instincts are instincts. Do you really want to date a guy that doesn't know who is true instincts are anyways?

It's a great filter IMO.

[–][deleted]  (17 children) | Copy Link


[–]abacabbmk2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I strongly disagree in the sens that obesity is highly correlated with wealth. It costs a lot to be in shape and to be in good health.

This is false. lol.

[–]DeLovehlyCoconute1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Something to look at is education. Poor people are much more likely to be obese. Most people who are obese, are poor, but I do not believe it to be a cause so much as lack of education. Parents often don't teach these things, schools certainly won't, and big food tries to keep tabs on what info gets out like that war on saturated fats when really it's the unsaturated (with the exception of monounsaturated) fats that are to blame, specifically polyunsaturated.

[–]abacabbmk0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah education is definitely part of it. But i dont know how much. In some extreme cases is someone unable to look something up online? Possibly. But there is no way that is the norm when over 50% of the population is overweight or obese.

A list of cheap/healthy foods, and prep tips/recipes is all anyone would need to get started. That can be put together with a couple hours of research if you have internet access.

[–]DeLovehlyCoconute1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd blame big food really. Fabricating study results for years to put their junk on the shelves, so most everything will contain these ingredients. 2 hours of research may not get someone to stop eating American bread, but maybe consider dumping out the soda and potato chips then go to the meat, dairy, produce sections, so yeah maybe you're right here.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link


[–]abacabbmk4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You dont need a gym membership to be healthy.

Healthy food is not expensive.

Healthy food can be quick/easy to prepare if you plan ahead a bit. Many grocery stores pre-prepare things that are actually reasonably priced.

Its about people's willingness to do the things required to make a change. Nothing to do with money.

[–]golden_eyed_cat4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I strongly disagree in the sens that obesity is highly correlated with wealth. It costs a lot to be in shape and to be in good health.

Although it can be harder to maintain a healthy weight when you have a lower income, it isn't impossible. There are several ways to eat healthy food without spending a fortune on it. These include, but are not limited to:

  • buying non-perishable food such as rice, beans, potatoes and pasta in bulk
  • replacing the most expensive store-bought meat with vegetarian and vegan options and cheaper cuts
  • buying seasonal fruit and vegetables and preserving some of them for other months
  • meal planning and prepping
  • not throwing out leftovers from previous meals, but instead incorporating them into your next meal
  • buying base ingredients such as flour and making things like bread, juices, jams and sauces at home
  • Maintaining a small garden (either in your yard, on your balcony, or on your window sill) with herbs and vegetables

These are all things that our grandparents did (or do!) and I am certain that your elders have similar ways of saving money while eating healthy :) Also, even if you are absolutely unable to incorporate these techniques into your daily life, you can still lead a more active lifestyle! Walking to your destination (or taking public transportation), taking the stairs instead of the elevator (especially if you live on the 10th floor like I do!), going for a run every morning and choosing a more physically demanding job are all great ways to burn off any excess calories. After all, it wasn't until we became less physically active and started eating lower quality food, that an obesity epidemic hit us.

There is no reason to shame those who can t fit the beauty norm.

Shame is an emotion that serves an important function: It prevents us from behaving in a way that is socially unacceptable, or that might lead us to getting excluded from our community, which could have been deadly before the twentieth century, and bears several negative consequences to this day. One of the main reasons why addicts (including food addicts) and abusers decide to change their behavior, is because they are embarrassed of themselves and fear social ostracism on a subconscious level. This results in them improving their physical and/or mental health, and leads to them being openly accepted, which vastly raises their level of happiness.

With that said, fitting the beauty norm is important when it comes to finding a partner. If an overweight person gets shamed for their unhealthy body size, chances are that they will lose weight, which will result in them increasing their confidence, improving their health and making dating a lot easier for them. After all, you cannot negotiate genuine desire. No amount of body positivity, fat acceptance or other activism will make us or men truly lust after the unattractive.

[–]golden_eyed_cat3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you should nt derivate your happiness from beauty standards that are most likely not attainable

I think you might be confusing beauty standards with beauty ideals. Although the ideals are unattainable for at least 99,99% of the population, beauty standards are achievable by most of society, and once you fit them, it will become relatively easy to attract a partner and remain healthy, which will in turn raise our level of happiness.

For me it s promoting self love and the acceptance of your body, which depending of you socio condition, cannot change for the better.

If you saw a man with an extremely skinny dog walking down the street, would you assume that he loves this dog? What about a woman that is encouraging her obese cat to eat a giant portion of food? In my opinion, if you truly love and accept someone, including yourself, you will do everything within your power to ensure their well-being (both physical and mental) - and unless you are paralyzed or bedridden for life, there is always something you can do to make a change for the better. You can watch a tutorial on Youtube one evening and, instead of ordering fast food as usual (since you cannot afford food from healthier restaurants), you can use the money to buy ingredients for a healthy egg casserole, cook and eat it for the next two days, limiting the amount of calories you take in for dinner. You can wake up 30 minutes earlier than usual, and go for a run before work, since it requires no equipment, aside from, perhaps, a pair of shoes in the winter.

I wish you the best of luck, good health and determination in maintaining positive habits!

[–]P0WERPLANTH0MER5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I disagree. It costs more to be obese. Fast food is more expensive than buying real food at the grocery store and cooking it yourself at home.

And it can cost nothing to exercise. Just go out and walk. It's free.

[–]martelek1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Time is also a resource you have to have in mind, poor people often do not actually have time to do a lot of things that are obvious to those not struggling

[–]P0WERPLANTH0MER4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can empathize with those who are poor but those who are at the forefront of the body positivity movement are often not poor and in fact are living a privileged life and have all the time in the world to design graphics, edit photos, and post it on social media.

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy Link


[–]golden_eyed_cat3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

obesity in the western world is highly correlated with the fact of being poor

Correlation is not the same thing as causation.

[–]abacabbmk2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You should go and read sociological studies then, obesity in the western world is highly correlated with the fact of being poor. When you 're working your ass off and have kids to take care of,you can t just go buy some good quality product.

Even if this were true, your fringe situation is not why millions of people (50%+) are overweight or obese.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link


[–]abacabbmk2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well in fact it is. The 50% of obese in the US is not due to self love slogan. It s due to poor living conditions and shitty hyperprocessed food.

But you said its being poor. So 50% of the country is poor? Now youre spewing some other shit about hyperprocessed foodzzzz? yawn.

most people obesity is not really a choice

But it is though

US where food standards are utter shit

Better choices are there, its either lack of education or laziness, choose one.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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