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Why to avoid the Female Dating Strategy sub

October 29, 2019
105 upvotes

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/do7s3d/the_truth_about_fds_women_we_arent_similar_to/

I'm going to break this down for everybody because some people apparently think that that sub has some value. I'm going to post this here, however, because they auto-delete male comments - which should tell you everything you need to know about them. Now on with the show.

The Truth About FDS Women: We aren’t similar to incels, nor are we "ugly" or mentally deranged. We are your everyday women.

The only truth here is that they aren't incels, because even the ugliest woman can get laid if she wants to. But getting and, more difficult and importantly, keeping a relationship? Their sub won't do that.

FDS has recently gained a lot of attention on Reddit, and based on reading what some people write about us online, here are several myths running around Reddit about FDS women:

Should be so good. pops popcorn

FDS women are similar to incels because of our extreme ideology of hating men. The truth? We hate shitty men and we will use this subreddit as a platform for calling out their bad behavior so other women know what to avoid.

But most posts don't discriminate between bad and good men. You lump all men together - as marks and prey for your "advice". Kind of like you don't ban bad advice from bad men, you ban all men indiscriminately from posting.

However, we also make space in our lives for: 1) good male friends who respect women and appreciate our friendship, and 2) a loving boyfriend/husband who is serious about us and cares about us a lot.

I hear that you value beta males who pedestalize you, but I hear nothing about what you offer in return. Which is great if you're a sugarbaby or prostitute, but sucks in a LTR.

We don't think that men are only good for their money.

No. They're arm candy, entertaining, and can provide sex too.

We look for great partners who are caring, sweet, intelligent, honest, loyal, and loving!

Sounds like beta providers to me. Manipulatable, vulnerable, trusting... yeah, those are your marks.

These qualities are very important. However, another quality that we also look for is a man who is generous towards us and it's non-negotiable.

And there's the naked truth. He needs to hand out that money and time.

Just because we care about a man's generosity and see it as one of the many measures one can have in determining a man's seriousness about you, doesn't mean that it's the only thing we care about.

But it's the only one that's non-negotiable, which makes it the MOST important. It makes you prostitutes and gold-diggers, one and all.

FDS women must be ugly because only ugly women need dating strategies; all you need to do is to look hot. The truth? Although women do receive a lot of attention from men, the majority of them are from those who only want us for sex, so our main objective is filtering out men who aren't looking for a relationship with us.

You don't see the irony in that you're filtering out men who only want sex, but quality men are filtering out women like you who only want money? I can almost hear the protests: "But we want more than money!" Yeah, and plenty of men want more than sex.

Additionally, while looks do matter, in order to get a man to commit to you, you need to act like a high value woman so that he will cherish you.

LOL. As opposed to RPW and it's goal for you to BE a high value woman, not just act like it. So manipulative.

The tips we share here on how to act like a high value woman work; the overarching principles will get a man to treat you like you are the love of his life.

So it's all about the surface, not actually about being a good woman? At least you're honest.

FDS women are mentally deranged. The truth? How we appear online is vastly different from how we are in person.

I highly doubt that. You may mask it so you aren't instantly written off as whores. But hookers dress respectably when not on the job, you know.

We don't talk as bluntly as we do online. Online, we have less filter and our thoughts are expressed in a way where we simply do not give a fuck. Our thoughts are crystal clear and we don't have to worry about using several social filters like we do in real life to seem more diplomatic and socially acceptable.

In other words, you resent being more civil, ladylike, pleasant and blunt, and when given leave to do so you vent your spleen like sailors. Yeah, how's that working out for you?

Many try to paint /r/FemaleDatingStrategy as some sort of "crazy" new group of man-haters who seek to manipulate men, but the majority of our members aren't like that at all

This post to the contrary.

Also, unlike incels and MGTOWs, we don't invade their spaces like they do ours.

Sure you do. Your adherents wander into RPW all the time.

We don't spout toxic insults and verbally abuse and harass them. They're the toxic ones, not us.

How can you abuse and harass them when you ban them outright instead? No need to vent your spleen at them; just make them disappear.

In the end, we like good men, we have standards, and we're your everyday women. All your misconceptions about us will be dissolved if you just take the time to keep an open mind and understand our perspective.

Nope. You like easy prey, men who will support and pamper and coddle and pedestalize you, who will forgive your adulteries and spend everything they have on you... only for you to lose interest and divorce them, taking everything from them. You are the bluest of blue pill women, toxic and grasping and the antithesis of RPW. Sell your lies somewhere else.

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Post Information
Title Why to avoid the Female Dating Strategy sub
Author LateralThinker13
Upvotes 105
Comments 93
Date October 29, 2019 5:30 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/why-to-avoid-the-female-dating-strategy-sub.293216
https://theredarchive.com/post/293216
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/dot46g/why_to_avoid_the_female_dating_strategy_sub/
Comments

[–]girlwithabikeEndorsed Contributor 66 points67 points  (23 children) | Copy Link

Y'all, don't let them live rent free in your heads. They can do their thing and we can do ours. If their strategy is ineffective then all the better for us. Their misandry is not unique they are just blunt.

Women like attention and everyone is giving them way too much attention.

[–]Rispy_Girl 15 points16 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

The problem is that they will pretend to be someone they are not until marriage, then all bets are off and they become this abusive monster.

[–]girlwithabikeEndorsed Contributor 28 points29 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

I suspect that much like TRP, they are a lot more tough talk on the internet with one another than they are in person. Overall women tend to be fairly agreeable so I suspect all this talk is to psych women up (again TRP is similar). I don't need to be called a 'queen' to value myself - I think it's quite silly - but I think that it's a mental game they are playing with themselves.

But beyond that, men have complained for years that women change after marriage. IMO RPW has more value once the relationship is secured anyway. It teaches how to keep a happy dynamic between a good man and a good woman. Relationships, even marriages, are thrown away very quickly now. If these woman are truly heinous and change dramatically after marriage, those marriages will end in divorce. FDS is a dating strategy, not a life strategy.

[–]LateralThinker133 Stars[S] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

men have complained for years that women change after marriage.

I think more truthfully that women HIDE who they are until they are married. Which good vetting (it's not just for the ladies!) takes care of, mostly.

IMO RPW has more value once the relationship is secured anyway.

RP Truths about human nature benefit both parties. Reading Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood benefitted me as a man, as much or more than it did my wife (who already knew much of it instinctively). And yes, they rock for keeping a relationship healthy.

It teaches how to keep a happy dynamic between a good man and a good woman. Relationships, even marriages, are thrown away very quickly now.

Yes, enabled by the rise in power of blue pill ideology (no-fault divorce, Duluth model) and medical advances (the pill).

If these woman are truly heinous and change dramatically after marriage, those marriages will end in divorce. FDS is a dating strategy, not a life strategy.

Yes, but the true unfortunate bit is that FDS is sold as a life strategy instead of the short-term dating strategy that it is. It's held up as a (long-term) relationship strategy instead of the manipulative con game, so it ends in tears for all involved. Leaving these women post-wall wondering r/whereareallthegoodmen.

[–]girlwithabikeEndorsed Contributor 8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

women HIDE who they are until they are married

Men don't know what to look for...my ex told a story about how he 'knew she (wife) was the one'. He leaves her to run out and pick up food and comes back to find she's thrown on one of his shirts and is reading his playboy. He swoons. I roll my eyes so far to the back of my head I give myself a headache (ex or no, I want only the best for the guy). However many years into the marriage he admits they no longer have sex for...reasons?

I don't think this girl was hiding anything and if she was she wasn't doing it well. The manipulation of "hey I'm a cool girl" was so blatant that I couldn't believe Ex was publicly claiming this story. Husband even thought it was cute. You men need us women to help you vet (and that likely goes both ways).

But my point was simply that there is nothing new under the sun. That women behave the way FDS is promoting is not new. That women change after marriage is not new.

RP Truths about human nature benefit both parties.

But they don't have to. TRP tactics can be used to pump and dump or they can be used to keep the spark alive in a marriage. This is why we say RP is amoral. The truths and the tactics just exist. How a person uses them is up to them. I've been on a man's pedestal and I didn't care for it. I'd rather have a man I respect who I cannot walk all over. That doesn't make RPW inherently a benefit to my husband, it's the way I chose to use it that benefits him (if that makes sense).

This is where it goes back to vetting being for both halves of a couple.

Yes, but the true unfortunate bit is that FDS is sold as a life strategy instead of the short-term dating strategy that it is

Dating is a zero sum game. RPW should be thrilled that FDS exists.

But honestly, why does it matter so much to you? You are married to a good woman. RPW was never going to turn the culture around and FDS is just a variation of what is already going on out there. We aren't going back to ubiquitous traditional father led families anyway. We each build our own and let the rest of the world burn. Enjoy the decline.

[–]loneliness-inc 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Excellent comment all the way until the end where you say this:

We aren't going back to ubiquitous traditional father led families anyway. We each build our own and let the rest of the world burn. Enjoy the decline.

🤦‍♂️

  1. Eventually the government will run out of money and something will need to change. Whether the whole system collapses or the welfare ends or whatever, is anyone's guess. What's certain is that the current level of spending almost everywhere in the West is unsustainable. Something has to give and when it does, we may just end up in the state of nature which is to have male led families.

  2. But even in the meantime, why the nihilism? I understand that many things are absolutely fucked up. But to just let everything burn as you enjoy the decline??? You may not be able to make a massive difference in the world, but you can make a small difference for a few people. Why throw your hands in the air?

[–]girlwithabikeEndorsed Contributor 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It's not nihilism. Your first point acknowledges that we're in a period of decline so it's not nihilistic to accept that. In a lot of ways, the decline has been good for me. There is no way to say what my life would have been in a different era so I can't play what if games but overall, I like my life.

Further, if the whole system collapses or we move into a socialist period, there is a strong likelihood that my life will get much worse.

But I stand by what I said, we're not going back to a culture of father led families any time soon and we're not going back without unpleasant cultural disruptions. I'm enjoying life now, while it's enjoyable. I'm going to focus on me, my family and my friends. Then I focus on people who want my advice - I do this through work and on RPW.

If a group of women on the internet wants to tell themselves they are queens, that's not my circus. They are looooving the outrage that they are creating among the men and I think that is an even better reason for everyone to simply ignore them and let them do their own thing.

Telling women how to behave is a very feminist thing to do. RPW isn't a lifestyle and people with other beliefs do not challenge my own. So yes, I say let the world burn. Help people who want help and teach your children the values you want to throw into the future and leave the rest of the masses to their outrage.

[–]loneliness-inc 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's not nihilism.

Maybe we have a different definition of nihilism.

Your first point acknowledges that we're in a period of decline so it's not nihilistic to accept that.

We are in a moral decline but in terms of our physical lives, it's never been a better time! My point is that this level of welfare (in its many hidden and revealed manifestations) is unsustainable. At some point, something will have to give and when that happens, nature will take its course.

In the natural order, responsibility and authority go hand in hand. Therefore, in the natural order, men only take responsibility for that which they have authority over. It's only because of state sanctioned feminism that this isn't currently the case. However, if the government runs out of money and can't force responsibility without authority upon men and can't keep propping up the welfare state - you may just see a return of the male led household.

In a lot of ways, the decline has been good for me.

Care to elaborate?

There is no way to say what my life would have been in a different era so I can't play what if games but overall, I like my life.

Finally someone who's grateful and not whining 😉

Further, if the whole system collapses or we move into a socialist period, there is a strong likelihood that my life will get much worse.

As will everyone else's lives. Question is: what happens to all the strong independent single mothers who don't need no (individual) man because they're being propped up by the state?

Answer: they will either practice what RPW is currently preaching (to be a quality first mate) or they won't have a man! Because women tend to need men for survival, the general gender dynamics will look very very different than they are today and much more reminiscent of a few hundred years ago.

But I stand by what I said, we're not going back to a culture of father led families any time soon and we're not going back without unpleasant cultural disruptions. I'm enjoying life now, while it's enjoyable. I'm going to focus on me, my family and my friends. Then I focus on people who want my advice - I do this through work and on RPW.

I agree with this.

If a group of women on the internet wants to tell themselves they are queens, that's not my circus. They are looooving the outrage that they are creating among the men and I think that is an even better reason for everyone to simply ignore them and let them do their own thing.

I agree with this as well.

Telling women how to behave is a very feminist thing to do. RPW isn't a lifestyle and people with other beliefs do not challenge my own. So yes, I say let the world burn. Help people who want help and teach your children the values you want to throw into the future and leave the rest of the masses to their outrage.

If everything collapses, it'll impact everyone.

[–]girlwithabikeEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Maybe we have a different definition of nihilism.

If what I'm suggesting is nihilistic then it's no different from the nihilism in your statement that we're headed for collapse (or some other system changing event). I'm simply acknowledging that a few people cannot hold the tide forever. I'm not changing the minds of all the feminists in the world, or even the women on FDS. It is a waste of energy to give them any of my thoughts or emotions.

and

However, if the government runs out of money and can't force responsibility without authority upon men and can't keep propping up the welfare state - you may just see a return of the male led household.

This is all after we are rebuilding from the ashes. There is no way to take away welfare without unrest. There is no way to continue the welfare state save socialism - which will cause unrest. RPW is not turning the tide - whereever we are headed we are headed.

Care to elaborate?

::shrug:: just that I like my life. Example: If I had married my HS sweetheart and had children young I'd have been in a miserable deadbedroom marriage. I mean, I'm a woman in this century in the US - what is not to like? But I'm pretty sure I'd like it less if I had to stand in bread lines, or if I have to worry about people showing up at my door with guns looking for my husband, or any of the discomforts that civil unrest would bring.

As will everyone else's lives.

Sure and I'm selfish because I care about myself, my husband and daughter first, my extended family and friends second and everyone else very very little.

Really and truly, I don't understand why that sub is so important to you guys. Why do they warrant posts on RPW, on PPD and whereever else on Reddit they've appeared. The more I read the more I think that the ladies over at GenderCritical created it to make a point about double standards and male emotion.

[–]loneliness-inc 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Really and truly, I don't understand why that sub is so important to you guys. Why do they warrant posts on RPW, on PPD and whereever else on Reddit they've appeared. The more I read the more I think that the ladies over at GenderCritical created it to make a point about double standards and male emotion.

It isn't important to me at all. It's this thing flapping around that caught my attention when we got brigaded by these clowns over at WAATGM. Then I noticed it here too. I chimed in to the discussion because it's current on the topics we discuss. But it'll be out of our minds soon enough just like others of their ilk.

[–]loneliness-inc 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd strongly suggest removing the direct link. The mod team at WAATGM don't want drama from here and I'll assume that the mod team here doesn't want the drama either.

[–]WhisperTRP Founder -2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The difference is that women don't need to be psyched up, because they don't pedastalize men, or have a protective instinct towards them.

TRP is, and I've been quite open about this, a long con that me and some of my friends are playing on men in general... for their benefit.

What we do is we tell the truth about the nasty petty selfish bullshit that women are capable of, but we tell that truth selectively. We focus on the worst women are capable of, and we target men who are angry already about their lack of romantic success and about being jerked around.

What this does is create someone who is angrily misogynistic enough that he becomes, for the first time in his life, capable of suppressing his protective instinct towards women. Then we teach him some techniques for being attractive... basic shit like playing hard to get (this works on women), presenting a bold and outgoing appearance, crush shit tests, etc.

At first, he's too visibly angry for this stuff to work well... he looks butthurt and whiny and gives too many fucks. But with a little practice, he becomes more calibrated, and starts to attract, for the first time in his life, female interest, then attraction, then lust, then adoration.

Once that happens, we work towards the TRP endgame... as he gains power, he gets what he wants, and the anger begins to fade, but the pedestal is gone forever. He no longer believes, even unconsciously, what his culture tells him about women being morally, cultural, and intellectually more refined than him. He is capable of laughing at their foibles and not taking them seriously.

He can even begin to re-engage that protective instinct, selectively, towards individual women who have proven themselves worthy of his time, attention, and care... women who respect and obey him, rather than treating him as a means to an end.

He has stopped seeing women as a aggregate social force in control of society, which he must fight against like a rebel, and started seeing them as individuals, just as lost and confused as he once was, and equally in need of guidance from the sort of person who he is now becoming ready to be.

[–]girlwithabikeEndorsed Contributor 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The difference is that women don't need to be psyched up, because they don't pedastalize men, or have a protective instinct towards them.

No, with women it's convincing them that they don't need to glom onto any man who shows them a bit of attention. Women turn their nurturing onto men who will never live up to the expectations. These are the type of women who end up supporting some dude for years, hoping that some day he'll decide to suddenly stop playing video games every night and become ambitious at work. They think it's better to have any man at all instead of no man. Inevitably, no one is happy in these relationships.

If those types of women try out RPW style submissiveness, they will bend until they break. RPW requires dating/marrying A Real ManTM. I hate that phrase but it's apt here. It's not an alpha v beta thing, rather it is adult v manchild. Recognizing that, we push vetting and choosing a man who demonstrates leadership skills.

I think the women who are finding their way to FDS - the few that it may do some good - are the ones who in their past would take any man simply to have a man. If they had a string of manchildren, then being told "you deserve to be treated well" sometimes needs to be beaten into their heads.

Now for each of those type of women, there is one who needs to learn realistic expectations and we get those around here. Women like that do not need FDS and for them it will do more harm than good.

Overall I think it will do more harm than good and it is not a long term strategy. I recognize the possibility that there is a small subset that need a better people picker and may benefit from the rhetoric. However the rhetoric seem to go above and beyond what is potentially helpful and into unnecessarily toxic as far as I'm concerned. Telling a woman that she's a queen is one thing (which, gag) but talking about all men being scum is useless. Since women tend to judge their partners harshly, approaching a relationship with the idea "all men are evil" and "my happiness only" will lead to problems. I don't see mirroring TRP as the optimal teaching strategy for women.

Also, as best I can tell, FDS was designed to be a huge troll on TRP and any true help it gives to women is an unintended side benefit. And for the life of me, I can't figure out why they loathe RPW.

[–]Vellore9921 Star -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

How is that a problem for you? You'll go mad if you spend your time and energy getting outraged at everyone you disagree with.

[–]Rispy_Girl 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because I've known several people who I care about who have experienced this. Because even if it didn't happen to me directly it's wrong and it hurts people in a narcissistic fashion and that's enough to make it worth my time and energy if it comes up in my life.

[–]MrTrizzles 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

... and credence.

[–]Vellore9921 Star 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

It will never cease to confuse me when apparently happily married men come to reddit to spend their spare time discussing the dating habits and desires of a bunch of single women they'll never meet. I just cannot understand what they get out of coming to RPW or writing enormous essays about subs they don't like.

I don't read FDS or MGTOW or incel subs because I think they're trash and add nothing but outrage to my life. These guys would do well to ignore the trolls and tend to their own garden.

[–]girlwithabikeEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It doesn't bother me that men participate here to a degree. I think having a male explanation of male behavior and thought processes is a good thing. When men get together and start talking to each other about women on the women's sub it's cringy. It's even better when you have two men who each think the other is a woman and watch them condescend to each other. That's always ...er...interesting.

And I agree with you about staying off outrage based subs. I checked out FDS when it was brought to my attention a few weeks ago. My initial thought was that it wasn't worth my time. A second review of it hasn't changed my mind.

[–]Vellore9921 Star 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think having a male explanation of male behavior and thought processes is a good thing.

Sure, but we both know their "contribution" rarely stops there! 🤪

[–]girlwithabikeEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

There is a point after the anger phase and before acceptance where they think they can change female nature. I think a lot of guys come to RPW at that stage.

[–]Vellore9921 Star 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I think you're spot on

[–]loneliness-inc 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It will never cease to confuse me when apparently happily married men come to reddit to spend their spare time discussing the dating habits and desires of a bunch of single women they'll never meet. I just cannot understand what they get out of coming to RPW or writing enormous essays about subs they don't like.

It's about engaging in ideas that you like to engage in. Who cares whether you know the people you're writing for or not.

[–]Pola_Lita 42 points43 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I've seen as many dumb ideas on TRP as I have on FDS, as well as good ideas too. Adhering to one ideology or the other doesn't automatically make anybody more sensible than they were to start, unfortunately. I avoid incel things because it's so emotional and I enjoy RPW for its atmosphere of kindness and positivity. But for everyplace, I think an idea through carefully before I accept it as true.

[–]LateralThinker133 Stars[S] 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The important difference is that TRP - as The Red Pill knowledge about sexual dimorphism, hypergamy, etc. - is inherently true. It is the APPLICATION of that truth that differs from sub to sub, and even from fractions of the populace. The majority of TRP males use it to get laid; but a minority use it to arrive at healthy, lasting marriages rather than divorce-destined ones.

Whereas FDS is blue-pilled untruths that are destined to bring unhappiness, unfulfillment, and failure in one or both parties in the relationship. Because they're rooted in blue pill.

[–]Whopper_Jr 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You’re right on the money OP (Perfect example)

TRP is easy to read and understand (due to the inherent truths), but difficult to apply. Most guys who find it don’t even attempt to implement it, and instead wallow in a state of limbo between BP and RP. The ones who do attempt—either half-assedly or without refined social calibration—will trip up, using “techniques” haphazardly to see what sticks. These are the stories winding up on FDS. Some of those guys will gradually smooth out their game to the point at which it works for both parties. Women do not complain about those men.

Denial/Anger/Bargaining/Depression—call it what you will. Of the small percentage of guys aware of RP, only a small percentage of that percentage are pulling it off seamlessly in the wild. The others are going to miss the mark and overcorrect on certain behaviors, or try to justify bad behavior with their newfound knowledge. What those guys don’t understand (yet) is that RP is not a dating strategy; it’s an overall life approach to embracing deep, atavistic truths about masculinity and femininity and figuring out how to navigate within those bounds as a modern human. There are natural rules that supersede artificially-imposed cultural rules. If you try to pick and choose different aspects of RP to use, it will not serve you and both RPW and FDS will call you out. It’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle choice. There are no shortcuts.

[–]Pola_Lita 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you try to pick and choose different aspects of RP to use, it will not serve you and both RPW and FDS will call you out. It’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle choice. There are no shortcuts.

This is more than likely true. But please keep in mind that the points I'm making are in regard to subreddits, and the ideas and information they contain.

[–]jfiscal 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

FDS and RPW operate on the same premise, the only difference is tactics

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

My husband is intelligent, sweet, loving, and can be gentle with me when I am in a fragile place. He is also an amazing provider with a lot of ambition. However, he also fucks me really well and I love having sex with him. Why the scorn for a woman wanting a man that treats her well and has his financial life together? Are you saying women shouldn't want men who are loving and smart and successful? Are you saying the only thing that a RPW woman should focus on is the tingles because that is definitely contrary to the sidebar here. I get their fakeness and hatred of men rubs you the wrong way but this particular critique of their goals was so off base and toxic.

[–]melitele3 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think the OP wasn’t saying that those traits are beta or bad.

I think what she meant is that the way they describe desirable men is only a cover up for: submissive, easily manipulated guy that lacks assertiveness. There can be loving, intelligent and sweet guys who are also very firm, know what they want and have strong personality but those traits are not admired by these women.

Also these women focus on what type of guy they want, setting high standards when it comes to finances and personality but believe that all they have to do is act like women of high value - which is quite shallow and not really equal. Basically they want their men to treat them like queens but they won’t treat the man like a king.

[–]loneliness-inc 10 points11 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

We hate shitty men and we will use this subreddit as a platform for calling out their bad behavior so other women know what to avoid. However, we also make space in our lives for: 1) good male friends who respect women and appreciate our friendship, and 2) a loving boyfriend/husband who is serious about us and cares about us a lot. We don't think that men are only good for their money. We look for great partners who are caring, sweet, intelligent, honest, loyal, and loving! These qualities are very important. However, another quality that we also look for is a man who is generous towards us and it's non-negotiable. Just because we care about a man's generosity and see it as one of the many measures one can have in determining a man's seriousness about you, doesn't mean that it's the only thing we care about.

Practically every man I know - even the most stingy ones - want to be generous with their own families. Sometimes there are reasons why some aren't, but almost all want to be generous with their wives and children.

Here's the thing, if being the man described in the quoted paragraph resulted in more respect and admiration, more sex and emotional intimacy and a generally happier relationship with his woman - every man on the planet would be the man described in the above quoted paragraph!

However, this is often not the results for the man and this is why so many men learn to not be that man anymore. This is why we have PUA, TRP and the manosphere in general. Because action, reaction, results!

[–]jfiscal 4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Their fatal flaw is that the men they want to bang are the ones treating them like this and the whole sub is a tantrum that they can't get what only the tippy top .01% of women can get

[–]Coldpinkhearts321 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Well everyone deserves respect not just the .01%, I believe that everyone can find someone who respects and loves them and I don’t think they should settle for less, you can too 💕💕💕

[–]jfiscal 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Everyone settles

We're all shitty in our own way

I appreciate your enthusiasm but this isn't fds we can't lie to ourselves like that

[–]Coldpinkhearts321 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah but everyone deserves a partner who doesn’t cheat on them and treats them well. Obviously no one will be perfect but I’m not saying everyone should have a perfect person, I’m saying everyone should appreciate the person who they’re with and treat them well

[–]loneliness-inc 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well everyone deserves respect

Why? Based on what?

[–]Coldpinkhearts321 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Basic human decency

[–]vintagegirlgame 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

One of top comments on that FDS post defending why they’re not incels or ugly:

But seriously. We're giving anecdotes here guys. We've dated live men o.O That's why we're here.. because the men we've dated were below average if we're lucky, and abusive when we weren't, and we're sick of that.

So basically admitting that as a sample population, their people picker is so off they’ve only dated down or abusers. Pretty much the bottom of the barrel here. Even saying they are not ugly, if they’re actually attractive/hot...that’s almost worse. That means it’s their personality that’s so ugly it attracts only shitty abusive men.

Now it’s their turn to rise! Hypergamy is their right! Pussy passes all around! 😆

[–]LawyerInTheMaking 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LOL. As opposed to RPW and its goal for you to BE a high value woman, not just act like it. So manipulative.

tbh Lateral, this is my favorite thing you said. Ive seen many success stories on this sub of women taking advise from this sub and months/a year later they were engaged or on the track. a common "theme" among the success stories you will find is that the women were consistent with the changes that they were making to get the man or kind of man that they wanted or to take their current relationship to the next level. That doesn't mean that they didnt have any stepbacks, but it means that they were able to recognize the faults in their own behaviors, accept their faults, and do better the next time. To me at least, you cant "act" like a high value woman (or man) for long because sooner or later your own actions will betray you, and a high value man/woman will see right through it.

Incels and FDS deserve each other, both are a bunch of dorks.

[–]paragondream 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is actually a very interesting, thought provoking discussion.

I’ve fallen for men who preferred to have a woman who was completely dependent on them, a HOT little whore who had no skills outside of the bedroom and just expected a free ride in exchange for sexual satisfaction.

My ex once asked me, “if you could change anything about me, what would it be?” I responded by explaining that I hadn’t considered changing anything about him, that I had chosen to love and accept him for just being himself. I wasn’t looking for perfection. I wanted authentic love.

He then asked if I would like to know what he would change about me. “Sure, why not? Lay it on me.” His simple answer was that I would work less, perhaps not work at all, just marry him, let him support me and provide him with my undivided attention. If I was to work he would only want it to be for him, assisting him with running his business.

He really tried to pressure me into marrying him, always promising to “take care of me” and I loved him but my instincts were always telling me to run like hell.

At the time I was working very hard in a job that did demand long hours and dedication. I was also raising our children, making him lunches every day, dinner every night, and coffee every morning. I was also engaging in sex quite often, being creative, lingerie, trying to provide opportunities for us both to enjoy everything from romantic and sweet to hot and adventurous. I made myself available to spend time with him as often as possible. I was very loving and supportive but I was also independent, strong and did not “need him”.

I just wanted him.

He cheated on me repeatedly with a woman who was an alcoholic/drug addict, had never had a real job and still lived at home with her parents (in her mid twenties). I don’t think I am the best looking woman in the world or even extremely pretty but I know I am attractive and I have class, know how to dress like a lady (as well as like a sexy vixen - - - behind closed doors WITH and for a man I am committed to!!) I don’t like to say this kind of stuff because it feels mean but I know I am prettier than this gal. She was one who would spend HOURS putting on tons and tons of make-up and dressing very provocatively ALL the time, in the outfits he purchased for her (no job, no income).

It’s not just about looks. There’s also nothing wrong with appreciating beauty.

Everyone thought he was crazy. He was (still is) but it really hurt me. Eventually he ended up telling me he was sure I could not understand why he kept running back to her. He simply said, “sweetheart...you are amazing. You do not need me. She needs me badly and I need to be needed.”

I am so glad he was finally able to just express that to me. It says a lot. I think quality men and women are drawn to each other, not because they need each other and need to fill a hole or boost their low self-esteem, but because they value themselves, the other person and they want to be a team so they can both help each other and themselves be better and better.

This same man was always trying to push money onto me. I always politely declined. He would go so far as to shove hundred dollar bills into my purse when I wasn’t looking and pay bills of mine without me asking him to.

I completely understand the psychology of all of this now (many years later). I also obviously had some work to do or I would not have fallen so hard for a man who needed me to need him.

That same person is now married to a woman twenty years younger than him. He met her because he was dating her mother and they all got drunk one night. He ended up in bed with the daughter rather than the mother and within hours of meeting each other he was proposing marriage while she gave him a blow job.

This was about eight, maybe nine years ago. They got married. They’re still married. They have filed for divorce at least a half dozen times, both been arrested for domestic violence, kept having babies who are neglected and exposed to a toxic environment. She’s a meth and heroin addict and every few months or at least once a year he finds her in the bathroom shooting up with needles and forces her to get sober.

She doesn’t do his laundry. She doesn’t cook for him....well? Last I heard she had learned to heat up canned soup. He works 10-16 hour days running his own business. She doesn’t even take care of the children. She takes them to daycare on his dime because she’s just “so stressed out and needs her “me” time”.

She has given him sexually transmitted diseases. She has emptied bank accounts of tens of thousands of dollars shopping online. The only job she’s ever had (now pushing 30) was as a bar maid (that lasted about one month). Oh she also employed herself as a prostitute using cell phone apps to set up “dates” so while her husband was working she could make money for dope since he had punished her bad behavior by reducing her allowance. She doesn’t even do any work for the business. He has to hire bookkeepers, does most of the paperwork himself, etc. She never has a smile on her face.

They both CONSTANTLY, loudly (all over social media) and fiercely proclaim their undying love for each other and see themselves as an example of working hard to fight for love and keep a marriage together.

Long story, yes but the details really demonstrate what relationships based on looks, sex, love (?) alone can end up like.

I was devastated at the time but now all I have to say is “thank you Jesus!” I am so glad I didn’t end up in a life long partnership or marriage with that person.

I haven’t had a chance to read through this entire thread but my impression is that the dating advice sub being discussed is probably not what any quality woman who respects herself and has a lot to offer to a quality man would want to study. 🤷‍♀️

[–]hudry77 19 points20 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Spoken like a man who is threatened by an internet forum...

[–]LateralThinker133 Stars[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LOL. Fisking isn't fear. I laugh at the absurdity and the lies and the manipulations of their forum. And I pity them. The one thing that I do not do is fear them. They are their own worst enemies.

[–]coffeedonutpie 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You don’t think there are women out there who would laugh at the absurdity of the vibe that sub gives off? Thinking that someone willing to pay for all your meals equals commitment? That’s some bum shit lmao.. 😂 broke ass mf’s

[–]FwoGiZ -4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You need to realize that most if not ALL men that would read/write a post on RPW, are most probably immune to these kind of women... just like I surely hope most RPW vets are immune to players.

At the end of the day though, they are indeed preying on weaknesses and uneducated guys which is really LOW. Hence this post... it's not about fear.

[–]vintagegirlgame 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don’t read the TRP sub anymore but I bet the guys over at TRP are having quite a time digging into FDS antics like this post. Popcorn all around! 🍿

[–]coffeedonutpie 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As someone who thinks TRP is generally wack af.. i find FDS to be just as lame and spiteful. This is the only thread I’ve read through in this sub, but seems a bit more grounded. Pretty corny tho still. I didn’t realize so many people had such a hard time with dating. Obviously you’re not going to find the perfect person for you instantly.. unless you’re pretty lucky. But i find dating to be fun, just be nice to people and treat them like human beings. At the same time, I’m not too focused on fucking or rushing into a relationship, so maybe that’s why my experiences are pretty positive.

[–]gdobssor 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

“We don’t think that men are only good for their money.” Oh, so that would completely explain my permban then. My mistake. Saw a thread on there titled, “The only thing a man is ever good for is money, change my mind,” saw a ton of women agreeing so I disagreed and used my own dad as an example. Got accused of lying and banned because apparently men never look after terminally ill wives.

[–]DonutsJunction 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

That's so screwed up. God.

[–]throwawway2091 -3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

but yet you only talk to girls your attracted too lmao.

[–]DonutsJunction 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Being ugly doesn't mean a girl is instantly virtuous 🙄 I know plenty of ugly women who are pretty entitled..and I'm a girl.

[–]throwawway2091 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

having high standard doesn't = entitled

[–]parasolweather 4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

this post needed to be made like yesterday. i've seen so many FDS posters complaining about RPW ideology and saying our partners are lazy/slobs/etc. they act like they're so enlightened for doing what most women do; feed into hypergamy.

it's not that hard but they act as if they're the geniuses who came up with the concept. yet, so many of them have trouble making men stick around. so many of them entertain low value males. so many of them speaking on lying about your n-count but they won't admit that they do this out of shame. they complain about muh disrespect 😰 when they treat men as disposable vending machines for dinner and sex.

i don't even want to get into how many cringey posts i've stumbled upon about how they are QUEENS and legbeard-esque snarky texts that are supposed to be ~empowering~. i've even seen them talk about how they found that godforsaken sub through this one. heads up for all you FDS lurkers... we don't claim you.

[–]Kara__El4 Stars 5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

There's a reason it's called a "dating strategy." The goal is dates, not healthy marriages, and those are going to fizzle a lot faster than they think. These woman are going to empowered in a one-bedroom apartment, with a Netflix subscription, when they're 40.

[–]parasolweather 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

some of them already are 40-- i caught a couple of these women in the FDS comments section. i don't pity them for their age, but rather their inability to age gracefully. as an 18 year old, i feel bad for these women acting more immature and entitled towards the opposite sex than i ever have. it's sad.

[–]coconutismyreligion 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's because they have seen more shit than ur 18 yo ass ever has, or my 25 yo one You would benefit by swallowing the pill

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Behave yourself.

[–]FwoGiZ 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If I could upvote just once a month, you'd get my upvote.

You forgot /micdrop

Thanks for saying out loud what pretty much everyone thinks!

[–]ToraChan23 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We need to see things like FDS to remind ourselves of what's out there, what they think of you, and what their modus operandi is for screwing you over.

I personally find it wonderful when the rodents make themselves easy to find rather than hiding in the shadows.

[–]coffeedonutpie 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like a bunch of people who are just making excuses for their self centred and shitty personalities, which is exactly what they have in common with incels 😂

[–]WTFShouldIBeCalled 2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Agreed! I stumbled across that shithole of a sub yesterday and was so appalled by how much they all hate all men and how the women think they’re entitled to everything.

[–]throwawway2091 1 points [recovered]  (10 children) | Copy Link

it's about having standards and boundaries but thats cute you think that

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Be polite or be quiet.

[–]WTFShouldIBeCalled -1 points0 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

But on that sub, the women’s’ standards are ridiculously high. Like the men have to be super rich, have to pay for everything, have to treat the women like they are superior to men and not just equals, and they have to be ok with being treated like shit by the women. Yeah, cute.

[–]throwawway2091 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy Link

Standards can never be too high, you are just not putting in the effort. Just rememeber the Taj Mahal was built for a wife.

[–]WTFShouldIBeCalled -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I’M not putting in the effort? Nah, on that sub it’s the women who don’t put in any effort. I’m female myself and I put in more effort to relationships than any of those women do.

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I strongly advise against arguing with the FDS women who come here to argue. It's not against our rules but it's only going to make you crazy and they seem to thrive on causing outrage. Happy Posting.

[–]WTFShouldIBeCalled 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I can see that now. Thanks for the warning. I’ll stop.

[–]throwawway2091 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

that sub is the opposite and put their education first. Its all about effort, as long as you try hard and try to sucessed that is all that matters.

[–]coconutismyreligion 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thats because it's the only fool proof way to know he is invested in you. No if's, and's or but's Weed out the time wasters from the first few hours. We have no time for anything less than. That's why it's a dating strat. You do this while dating lol. It also gives us a provider man. A masculine man who compliments our feminine nature. Value yourselves more ladies.

[–]WTFShouldIBeCalled -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No, it’s sexist to make the man pay for every single date and to expect him to do everything for you while you, as the woman, have to do nothing except look pretty. Two people in a relationship should be equals, and they should be putting in the same amount of effort. It seems like everyone on that sub wants the man to put in all the effort while the woman does nothing.

[–]throwawway2091 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How is that sexist? that is just traditional dating. It is not "modern dating". Im sure you would want a boyfriend that doesnt have just a big wallet but it also educated, we expect to put in the same effort for education, looks, and hobbies.

[–]FPS_Cajun 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is such a beautifully brutal take down of FDS, it really gets to the core of what the two sides truly want and provides tons of great red pills along the way. One side wants a toxic one sided relationship and the other wants a relationship where both people bring their best for eachother, pretty obvious after reading this which is which.

[–]LateralThinker133 Stars[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

One side wants a toxic one sided relationship and the other wants a relationship where both people bring their best for eachother, pretty obvious after reading this which is which.

Obviously RPW wants women to be submissive doormats to abusive men, and FDS wants women to take men for everything they're entitled to. FDS for the win, of course. Why would any woman want to be an RPW?

/sarcasm

[–]phoenix_shm 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for this post! Saved me a lot of time.

[–][deleted] 1 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Also, unlike incels and MGTOWs, we don't invade their spaces like they do ours.

[–]loneliness-inc 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I can't see the removed comment but I laughed when I read that line in the op. I can tell you that they've been trying hard to invade a manosphere sub I moderate.

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's going to be my go to response to them now.

[–]loneliness-inc 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've been banned from that sub even though I never commented there nor did I ever plan on commenting there. 🤣

I wouldn't bother with responding to them. As u/girlwithabike said - don't let them live rent free in your head!

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I want you to know that I'm removing the post. It's gotten a lot of traction but we are also getting flooded by FDS coming to argue. We are not responsible for their sub or to women who do not want our help. Sniping back and forth does not help RPWs cultivate a generous or feminine attitude and that seems to be what is occurring.

[–]fem_gal -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

100% agree. I hate that sexist sub

[–]ProFriendZoner -2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

A very toxic page. I'm surprised it hasn't been quarantined like TRP.

[–]LateralThinker133 Stars[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Only things that support/empower men/whites are quarantined. BLM, feminism, etc. in general are given a pass. Because Reddit.

[–]PrincessTeex -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Omg I thought it was only me! They removed me because I didn’t agree with their crazy ideologies

[–]carrimjob -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Those fuckers banned me because I thought they should treat men as equals. I’m a girl. How fucking pathetic

[–]the_Milkweed -5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your use of logic is enthralling

[–]Vellore992 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

It will never cease to confuse me when apparently happily married men come to reddit to spend their spare time discussing the dating habits and desires of a bunch of single women they'll never meet. I just cannot understand what they get out of coming to RPW or writing enormous essays about subs they don't like.

I don't read FDS or MGTOW or incel subs because I think they're trash and add nothing but outrage to my life. You guys would do well to ignore the trolls and tend to their own garden.

[–]_tanstaafl -2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I’m convinced that it is all men on that sub, trying to make women look bad.

[–]girlwithabikeEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That is not how men would go about making women look bad. There are enough subs where men aggregate examples of women's bad behavior that you can see what men think the worst of women is. FDS is definitely women.

I would not be at all surprised if some of their examples of men behaving badly are fake posts from women. Men and women have different writing styles and some of those things are suspect.

[–]NoMoreToBeDone -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lol. I got banned from that sub by replying to a “Fix It Felicia” post. They originally didn’t tell me why I was banned and when I asked they said I was using “excessive male sympathy” and my personal opinions and examples were considered a “pick-me” approach which is not allowed. Then they muted me from contacting the mods. So...after my mute period was over, I told them I knew my post was correct since they banned me and muted me. They then muted me again.

They are all so horrible and doing the same shit, and sometimes even worse, than what they say they don’t like about “bad” men.

[–]Aeiexgjhyoun_III -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Deluded people who refuse to confront reality. Let them live their fantasies online. I've seen a few say their strategies get them dates with star athletes😂😂.

[–]NoMoreToBeDone -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is possible, but I bet those “star athletes” think it’s just a hookup.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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