Women of RPW, I have a dilemma for you. I am not posting this on /r/twoxchromosomes or /r/askwomen because I don't know if they'll be able to actually answer the question I'm asking as well as you all will.

I've been reading this text for one of my classes entitled "Women Don't Ask." The point of this piece is that essentially women get paid less (on average women grads from Carnegie Mellon net $4000 less than their male counterparts) not because they are initially offered less but because they don't negotiate. They don't ask for more; they just accept the offer.

Women in an experiment who were paid much less than they expected for a 30min-1h task were more likely to accept the low payment ($3 in this experimental study) than the men, who were more than 4x more likely to ask for more ("I think I deserve more than $3 for this..."). Participants who asked for more were awarded at max $10 for the study.

My question is this. When we as women are straight up with our desires we lose something (femininity? social power/prowess?) than when we do so in a roundabout way that utilizes social dynamics and social power to kind of "convince" other people into what we want.

Given these findings, how can we get what we want, whether through direct or indirect means, but still maintain SMV and our femininity? When is it appropriate to be direct, and when not?

tldr; women don't ask for what they want and therefore get shittier outcomes than men. how can we ask/be direct/utilize our own power but also maintain our femininity?