It's a great gift for her... that's sure to pay off for you ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2aihqap6yk

Yeah fuckin right. They're rollin these commercials out again (since American history is full of evil white men who you're not allowed to look up to, our "culture" is instead based on teevee, junk food, and gay ass celebrities "consumerism IS capitalism"), just in time for Spendallyourmoneyonanungratefulbitch's Day. And by "just in time" I mean of course, two weeks early.

Just a friendly reminder that nobody other than you gives a solitary fuck about your dick or your wallet. "You gotta pay to play" is how they keep you chained to the millstone. You're a cog.

Hopefully you're wise enough to know the only shit worth buying in regards to women is cologne and condoms. In fact, the next time you're around friends or family, or even aquaintences, and some retarded Saint Betabux Day's propaganda gets aired out, either on teevee or in conversation, that's exactly what you should say:

"The only things worth buying when it comes to women are cologne and condoms."

2 things will occur, the men will laugh and the women will either laugh and agree, or they'll be forced to grudgingly acknowledge you're right after a few minutes. ITS NOT ARGUING, ITS FRAME CONTROL

Or, you'll realize you need new friends.

Nigga, if your woman would rather get a gift than a good hard pounding on Feb 14, you're doing it wrong.

*bonus testicle points if you buy this for your girl on Valentine's just to fuck with her

"You'll love it, sweetie! It's wild berry flavor!"