I apologize in advance for the below, it's really late here and I'm tired but I had to share. Also, english not my first language.
I've always been a real beta. I mean I love women, like REALLY love them: Their hair, their laughs, everything. I've always wanted to get with more women throughout my entire life but never really did bc I was scared and it was better for me to be in a dull LTR bc at least I got SOME sex. My partner is a very caring lady, very nice family etc but lost interest a long time ago despite not knowing it...
I've been in a LTR for about 9 years now, since high school (I missed the sweet land of College). She's my first sexual partner, she had one before me (Lost her virginity at 15-16) who was just getting sex (at 15, yea I know, good for him) and did a lot of sexual things I was never allowed to do. The LTR, 4 of those years have been long distance while the two of us are at school and/or working. Long story short, we'd meet up for our get togethers after 1-3 months. I own my own home so this is easy to feel comfortable. Even with a 1-2 week time together, we'd only have sex 1-2. And it would be robotic: I'd have to make her cum first which she has to try SUUUPPPEEERR hard as she NEVER was actually in the mood but she would humour me or say that "we should". The sex for me was so lame but I was so happy I got it. I was stressed bc of school and work and anything was better than nothing...
She also would play video games and got fat in the last 4 years. Her sex drive plummeted even more. Add the fact that we would mandatorily talk for at least 1 hour every single day but when we were together we wouldn't have sex because she didn't feel "connected". I was her emotional tampon. However, we would always go on dates and spend my money (Mainly bc we were bored).
I always thought in the back of my head how I wanted to explore the world of women. Deep down, I didn't want to settle but I had bought a house, we were talking of marriage, kids etc. The more I pondered this, the more I asked myself "If I was to be on my death bed tomorrow, I would really regret not dating other girls. Specifically, not having sex with at least one other one". This really made me feel bad...
I've been on the path of self improvement for awhile with respect to work (Since I have so much time alone). The EMSK post for TRP cued my interest, I took the pill and the rest, like most guys, was anger, rage, sadness etc. I read a lot and learned lots. It was really hard for me but I embraced the alpha as there were so many men, so so many men who got divorced raped or had suffered so much.
I told my LTR I wanted a break as I felt we were disconnected and I needed time "figure out me". She honestly doesn't respect me or find me attractive at all any more but this is unconscious and not her fault. I didn't want to bother putting in the time to transform the relationship from the inside. I needed to unplug and never go into that old beta position again, it would be far to hard.
I decided "I'm going to chat to girls today and use some GAME". Bc I dress really well for work, this was an amazing experience. I felt powerful beyond anything before, I had confidence and got a few numbers. I didn't end up calling any though as I was right out of the beta illusion.
Weeks later, I went hiking and met a chick randomly, we hit it off and I got her number. We ended up meeting for tea and I was going to make a move bc "Alphas or guys who take initiative sexually, are rewarded for doing so". I touched her lower back on the way into the shop first thing after meeting her (Which she tells me was a total cue I was in charge), was calm and slightly amused at her cute stories. Strong, silent but also a little fun. She's totally petit and stacked. Super feminine, intelligent.
At the end of tea, we were by my car (helps I have a pretty nice car) and I had said I had to go home and check on something and moved in and kissed her. THAT KISS WAS FUCKING AMAZING, I haven't felt like that in years. I could tell she loved it, I ended up putting her in my car and going home. She had a super huge smile on her face.
At home we chatted more and I made my move in the kitchen. We ended making out and then having sex. Alpha fucks. I gave it to her hard ( Sex God Method), like fucking hard. I was so good for me and her. We had sex a few times, our bodies ached. Bc of that, the next few days was amazing. She felt "liberated by how good I was at sex and how hard I have it to her" and she felt comfortable with me to do shit she's never done before (Choking, rough, anal, watching in the mirror). She cooked for me and she wanted to please me so badly bc I'm rich and young but was showing alpha qualities learned @ TRP. She wanted to please me so bad she asked if I wanted my dick sucked at the kitchen table with the meal SHE MADE ME. She did it willingly, with a smile and LOVED IT. I've never felt more like a man. I almost cried it was so amazing, not just physically but mentally and emotionally.
In short, if I was to die tomorrow, I would die a happy man doing the things I biologically needed for a long time.
If I didn't find TRP, I would have been forever unhappy and would have regretted my life. I'm still adjusting and the above was the very deep end for me. Work in progress, one day at a time.
Again, thank you.