~ archived since 2018 ~

Deep, deep thank you redpill. This really feels like waking up.

April 21, 2016
7 upvotes

Intro

Classic Beta is led on by gf, not getting any, shakes the status quo thanks to this sub, immediate results.  

 


Body

I am almost one year with this girl who is older than me (22 v 26), and at first, it was nice. She was somewhat frigid in bed, but nothing special.

Then, a few months in, she started making excuses for not coming to my place. I thought those were honest, and didn't push it. Sex became rarer and rarer. Then, one time after sex, she starts talking about this guy who was her only fwb who tricked her into sleeping with him. Then she said how it was the best sex she ever had. How the fact that he wasn't her bf at the time made it awesome.

I played it cool, but inside...I was burning inside. Raging fire was choking my every thought. There is some guy out there who fucked her better than me, she liked him more than me, she said he was such a charmer, she doesn't do sex out of a relationship, but he was irresistible. She said he could get every girl there is, and he chose her. Then she babbled something about her ignoring him after 4th or 5th hookup.

I realized something was off, but I didn't react. I genuinely started loving her maybe 6 months in, even thinking if I will ever be able to get another girl as good as her. Maybe it wasn't love then. Anyway, I was the sweetest boyfriend a girl could have. I bought her flowers regularly, respected her busy schedule working at a café, jumping to meet her for coffee or even only to tag along as she did her errands, just because "I missed her so much". I did all college administration stuff for her, because she was so busy with her job etc. She even made me feel in charge, even though I was her slave practically.

Then, 10 months in, that "off" feeling started overshadowing our relationship, and I said fuck it, I'm going to break up. I do, and she cries and pleads, makes me go to her place at 3am just to talk, no sex again. I go to sleep and wake up at 5am, and I start to cry. I cry and cry, and that wakes her up. She sees me, and hugs me out of pity. I go home. We are together again.

Things don't change at all, they are even worse actually. Last month whole passed without sex.
Fastforward 5 days ago: she asks me to go talk to her professor about an exam day after, she can't because she's working during his office hours. I go, and prof says that because she's the only student remaining who didn't pass his subject, someone will need to go with her to be a witness. I say to her I would gladly come. She sends me a thank you and a :*. I ask her if she's working after the exam, she says she has a day off, but she wants to go to country with her parents.

I flipped out when I read the message, and in the moment of anger I say to her I won't be able to make it to her exam, she will need to find another witness. She flips out on me back, and says it's end for our relationship. I say okay. That night, a random mention of /r/redpill in a reddit post pulled me inside. I so fucking found myself here, sidebar gets chewed up in that one sleepless night, and I am certain I can apply my newfound knowledge today.

What's funny, is that I already have 3 alternatives in case I break up with her, I started flirting with several girls after our first break up. I just still was insecure about myself, and that feeling that she's the best I can do was there still.

Redpill erased all that, and I started to wonder how far can I push her. Turns out, really fucking far.

Next day she texts me that I should be ashamed of myself for what I did to her, day before the big exam! I say, exact words:

"You haven't been giving to me what I wanted. I did everything for you until yesterday, when I realised it will always be like this. Now I don't give a fuck"

Furious messages keep arriving, and after about 10, I just say: "Tomorrow 18h, my place."

Silence for about 3-4 minutes, and then she sends: "But I work until 17:30!". 1 minute after that, "Okay". I say okay too and stop answering messages until she came. Of course she came. I stop all her talking, put on Massive Attack - Mezzanine (I know she hates it, but I love it for sex), and start undressing her. She fights back, I put my hand in her pants. We fuck. We finish, she's still mad, I tell her it's gonna be this way, or no way. Door gets shown, she leaves.

2 hours later, she's texting me if I love her anymore. I ignore it. She says we need to talk this through. I say I don't want to be with a girl that was at my place 2 hours ago. She says she will change. She wants to meet up. I say I can't I am going to a student congress at 13h. She says I will be fucking other girls there. She really needs me tomorrow. I pull off the same trick: "tomorrow 10h my place". She complies. That's 10 hours from now, and I can't wait to see her behaviour when she comes again (pun intended).


Conclusion

So there you go guys. My behaviour may have been influenced even before by me starting lifting real weight 2 months ago, and being a first witness to great friend's demise because he was too beta for a hottie who dumped him after a year of "perfect relationship". Also, I started getting embarrassed when I told people "we are together for almost a year now". It was a fucking long year, I hope you all learn something from my mistakes.

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Post Information
Title Deep, deep thank you redpill. This really feels like waking up.
Author throwabluepillaway
Upvotes 7
Comments 17
Date April 21, 2016 12:50 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit /r/ThankTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/ThankTRP/deep-deep-thank-you-redpill-this-really-feels-like.3236
https://theredarchive.com/post/3236
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/ThankTRP/comments/4fqjv4/deep_deep_thank_you_redpill_this_really_feels/
Red Pill terms in post
Comments

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Jesus disapproves. redpill solutes you.

she's not long term potential though as you are probably aware

[–]throwabluepillaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, but I've learned so much from this. Can't wait to get loose at the congress haha

[–]GameboyPATH2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

To recap your relationship history, she knowingly or unknowingly took advantage of your running errands for her, plus awkwardly mentioned amazing sex with her ex right after sex with you. It seems like there was also a span of time where your sexual needs just weren't met with her. Can I assume that you communicated all of these grievances with her? I assume you didn't just keep it bottled up, right? Because if you did stay quiet about your issues with her (or if you did talk, but your grievances fell on deaf ears), then one might interpret your recent adoption of RP as an outburst of pent-up frustration with your relationship.

I can understand your beef with this girl. No one likes their good deeds being taken advantage of, especially when the whole experience is made worse with a long-term period of non-reciprocated sexual interest. I can also understand why the recent change can feel like a cathartic experience - you're not only getting the sex you wanted, but you're also treating her with the same disrespect for personal time that you felt mistreated for. It's emotional revenge - you want her to know how you felt.

But like the other commenters have said, this relationship won't last, not without underlying problems and conflicts that one or both of you won't address with each other. Not until you can understand each other's issues and have both sides willing to make sacrifices while having their needs met.

Lastly, personal advice:

Anyway, I was the sweetest boyfriend a girl could have. I bought her flowers regularly, respected her busy schedule working at a café, jumping to meet her for coffee or even only to tag along as she did her errands, just because "I missed her so much". I did all college administration stuff for her, because she was so busy with her job etc.

A lot of young guys fall into this trap of letting their emotions overwhelm their sense of practicality or long-term consequences. That happens to a lot of guys for their first relationship; you're not alone. Relationships don't have to be this extreme of "control or be controlled" - it's possible to balance and negotiate meeting each others' needs.

Additionally, not everyone is right for everyone. If what she needs right now is an errand boy who's willing to help her with things while expecting little in return, perhaps she's not what you're looking for. And supposing that she is dead-set on her requests for you (which, hey, maybe she isn't), maybe you're not the best for her, either.

A lot of shit's happened to you in the last week. Take some time to yourself to chill and think about where you want this relationship to go, then act accordingly.

[–]throwabluepillaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You wouldn't believe how right you are. This is my longest relationship yet, I had a few 2-3 month things, but this is definitely the most serious one. Also, yes, I was frustrated when my needs weren't met, that's when I started lifting seriously. I did say to her how much I want sex, and she'd promise, without delivering.

Honestly, now I just want to fuck as many girls as possible, train myself to handle women in all situations.

Thanks for the comment.

[–]vorverk1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

You will be tested like shit. She's not giving up all that easy life that easily. Her plan is to change you back. I would just next her, because she will create a lot of unnecessary drama in your life now that you "changed". Also, once she sees you're not going back to being BB, she'll make some excuse in her head why you broke up. Like, raping, manipulating or abusing her. So stay on the safe side with her.

And like others said, you're new, this is just the start. You will fall, get angry and depressed, but learn a lot and grow (phisically and mentally/personality) in next months. Just keep swallowing...

[–]throwabluepillaway[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I felt that testing this morning already. She tried getting the things back where they were, but I didn't budge.

One awesome moment though: we finish fucking, we both need to go downtown, we enter the bus, and she says to me:
"Don't exit at my station, go one or two after it."

I ask why.

"My best friend is waiting, she would be pissed if she found out I got back to you after what you did to me in the last two days."

So I'm the asshole now. Nice.

[–]vorverk0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

You're the asshole, which is all nice and dandy. Just be careful because she does not believe it entirely and will test it in ways you can never predict. So eventually you will fail (yes, you will, unless you're natural, which I doubt) and then it can get ugly. Her friend is the one who will call the cops on you, when she's crying to her how you treated her. And she is crying to her.

Just make sure you are saving messages, getting consent from texts or recording phone calls and similar if you're meeting with her.

But again, if I were you, I would cut contact and start making your new self. You have couple of months of reading and swallowing to do.

[–]throwabluepillaway[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

What the fuck. I wouldn't ever expect her to do something like that. Why would she call the cops, and on what account? I do record everything, but that's because I'm a data hoarder. How prevalent is that kind of behaviour anyway?

[–]vorverk1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Look. When you break up eventually (for whatever reason) she will have to rationalize in her head (and to her friends) why she dislikes you. That's when she will remember and exxagerate all the events that happened, making you abuser, rapist, manipulator or whatever. Read about "female hamster". I'm not saying this will happen, but there is a high chance that some sort of rationalizing and explaining why you broke up will happen. If it's only "we were not ment to be together", good for you. But be prepared for a shitstorm of bullshit and drama. Hopefully she will not have a reason to extend this drama to law enforcments or some other involvement of other people. BUT IF SHE DOES: be prepared.

[–]throwabluepillaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well that's comforting /s. Thanks for the advice.

[–]YouDislikeMyOpinion0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is only your first step. There's so much more.

I want to make sure that you are warned that what you're doing will lead to drama and bullshit. It will be a good learning experience, but you need to understand the cons. You will also waste time. Just keep all that in mind.

[–]throwabluepillaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Right. Well, I supposed so. Thanks.

[–]leftajar0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fuck the shit out of this girl, but you cannot ever, ever, ever LTR her because she fucking cheated on you and disrespected you.

[–]simplepill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Awesome!

[–]Heathcliff--0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

What is this?

[–]ecosci0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

This young lady has been alpha widowed and using you to the next alpha comes knocking and to tell you about her ex is a shame get busy with your life and next this manipulator, women try to rip the hearts out of betas like naming your son after the alpha fling.

[–]throwabluepillaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

like naming your son after the alpha fling.

Your personal experience? :D

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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