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Praise Jesus - Holding Frame Is Epic

June 26, 2014
28 upvotes

Swallowed the red pill at the beginning of the year after deciding my four-year relationship with my wife was dysfunctional (along with a majority of relationships before her). Overall application of principles has been great but I've had issues holding my frame when she wants to have a fight with me. After a decade+ of being the 'appeasing peacemaker with the olive branch', I would hold frame in the beginning but I would eventually lose it just to get the fight over with. Until this week.

Wife started a petty argument and I held frame the first night and left go hang out with my friends. She was pissed, of course. Talked about "running from conflict" and all that jazz but I wasn't going to play her games anymore. Let her cool off and fall asleep before I went to bed later that night. Next day, came home after work and she was clearly still wanting to fight. She eventually snapped on something petty again and went to the bedroom alone. I waited hours - watched a movie I had been wanting to watch, ate a fantastic dinner I had prepared for us both, played on the PC for a bit before getting in the bed and acting like nothing was wrong in the world. She hated it. She tried and tried to get me to cave in to her demands and wants but I held onto my frame throughout. I was getting to the point where I was just tired of her being a twat and considering giving in but at that moment - she started apologizing..... apologizing for starting petty fights and holding me to double standards. Talking about how she was feeling crazy and apologized for taking it out on me and expecting me to cater to her every need. It was as if the sky had parted and God himself was shining his beautiful truthfulness upon my bedroom....

We made up and made some very hot love. She got hungry and ate the dinner I had made for her earlier that night. She came back and said thank you and told me how good it was. I replied, "it would have been much nicer hot off the stove with someone to enjoy it with". She apologized again and we went to bed. I was giddy.

This woman has never apologized to me in a sincere manner in the history of our relationship. While RP principles have improved my relationship, finally holding frame throughout an entire fight is a huge accomplishment and I instantly felt a change in dynamics and energy with my wife. Woke up the next morning and felt that she looked at me in a totally different way. Since then, she has treated me with more respect and things generally have had a more even keel.

I can't thank TRP enough. I think this is a huge turning point for our relationship. For those out there who don't hold frame - do it. Please do it. I don't know why it works like it does, but it just works.

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Post Information
Title Praise Jesus - Holding Frame Is Epic
Author seeking_happiness_
Upvotes 28
Comments 12
Date June 26, 2014 8:40 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit /r/ThankTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/ThankTRP/praise-jesus-holding-frame-is-epic.3051
https://theredarchive.com/post/3051
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/ThankTRP/comments/296k94/praise_jesus_holding_frame_is_epic/
Comments

[–]cashmoney_x7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

This is great but isn't it annoying that you/we have to deal with this shit? They act like toddlers.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

What are you going to do about it? Go full homo? Thats non sense. Just stfu and become a man.

[–]MarriedRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

lol

[–]cashmoney_x1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Or you could decide it's not worth it and live a happier, fuller life. I traded sex for basically leveling up my life and it was totally worth it. I say this in all honesty, not as an incel playing pretend. I wasn't a ladies man but I was always with someone (married for four years also) and at my age now I think I'm done with it.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree, but you need to get over this shit because complaining is a woman's game.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great story buddy. Now don't go all goo-ey on how much you appreciate the situation to her. Just keep being that framekeeping-house leading-stoicist man that she so desperately craves.

[–]MasonJarTeaDrinker2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It was as if the sky had parted and God himself was shining his beautiful truthfulness upon my bedroom....

LMAO I actually pictured this happening while I read it, awesome stuff.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The force is strong with this one.

[–]3Gf93bMtX30 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

OP, please elaborate more on holding your frame. Eg. What did you do/say/body language/etc when:

bit before getting in the bed and acting like nothing was wrong in the world. She hated it. She tried and tried to get me to cave in to her demands and wants but I held onto my frame throughout.

I mean, how exactly did you "hold your frame"? Thanks

[–]seeking_happiness_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Whatever personality and mindset you want to have, just hold it and don't let their actions effect you. Ya know, the whole 'stoic' thing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good work man! I have been holding frame too, but in the past have just given up and given in to her stupid arguments. It completely works just like you've illustrated.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Had nearly the same revelation with my wife, brother.

How's it going several months on?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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