Thank you wise trp, thank you

I'm not sure if it's post-worthy, but I want to share some thoughts.

I had a real rough life in my childhood, knee-deep in the poverty and shit, people making fun out of me all the time, and being raised? by a single mother. All the previous experiences in my life didn't make me strong, but full of beta behavior, serious lack of confidence, anxiety and so on... But I am not that ugly, I have decent knowledge in programming and linux sysadmin stuff. I performed 100% in english and IT exams this year.

I've found TRP two months ago and I've found it so true that it make me understand a whole lot of things. I can't be mad over the past because it won't help it. I think I can see some truth here and there, but the most important lesson for me is that I can change to fulfill my own needs and dreams however I want without appealing to some people. I have a lot to do, and everything here isn't full of roses. I am a student, thus I don't have the papers to apply for jobs, the other jobs aren't open either. I can't have the money to buy better clothes, go to gym, or buy stuff because of future hobby. Scarcity mentality heh. I am wondering if there is anything that could kick my ass so hard to realise to make things happen, act now. It's too comfortable to live without action, so comfortable that it poisoned me, because things "just happen".

Anyway, even if I still have some toxic thoughts, TRP hinted me the way I have to live, to fight for it, so the first step for me is to have more actions than regrets. Without TRP I would sit there with the evergrowing frustration of being hopeless helpless. There is always hope, we just have to give ourselves the help.