Last year my girlfriend broke up with me. I had oneitis and thought she was the love of my life. After the breakup I wrote her a 10 page handwritten letter to explain how much I loved her during our relationship, how I will try to improve my life for her, blablabla (major BP stuff). Couldn't get myself to send the letter yet so I put it somewhere safe in my room. Got really depressed and didn't want to leave the house. Couldn't sleep, my heart was pounding, and having this condition called 'Pectus Excavatum' (where the breast bone grows into your chest) made it even worse. Started watching Dragon Ball Z to cheer me up (this later led to me discovering TRP and hence my name)

All in all I was a gaming addict, fast food eating bluepill with nothing to live for.

A few weeks later I found out she jumped into the next relationship within a few days after our relationship ended (our relationship took 2 years), not to mention with the (alpha) coworker she thought was awesome. When this news hit me it broke me even more, cried my eyes out to the point where there were no more tears. Parents said something along the lines of 'Don't worry other girls will come'. But I felt like I would never have any hope again. How could she do this to me, after all the sweet things she said to me? How could she have betrayed me like this, I never did anything wrong to her... At this point I didn't know if I had more anger, hatred or sadness. Confidence was at an all time low.

After crying for hours I wanted to 'cool off' and decided to take a really cold shower. The cold didn't bother me and I just stood there thinking. I will never forget what happened next: I started thinking about Dragon Ball Z since I had been watching it alot. Vegeta was one of the main characters I looked up to and my blue pill anime mind started to fantasize about what Vegeta would've done. His whole race dead, not attaining super saiyan status first, always being pushed back but it never made him quit or back down. When things didn't go his way he reviewed his past actions and decided to become even stronger by working even harder. As I stood there with cold water running down my body, I started to resonate with that mindset, and within minutes I had regained some hope. Now I can't do ki blasts or withstand 100x earth gravity, but I realized at that moment I held the power to change in my own hands.

Stepping out of the shower that day I swore to myself I would change in ALL areas of my life. I cut all contact with my ex. I started eating healthy, started to lift, downloaded tinder to improve my texting game, took a decent paying job, started to go out in public alot more often. Half a year later I already made some big changes, I was getting complements from other guys about my muscles, got a job at a café so I could get social experience and money and I started to get some tinder dates. However most of them turned out to be average even though they looked hot in their profile pictures. Didn't get laid either because I was looking for LTR. I just didn't understand what I was doing wrong even after all this change, I was being nice to girls and my mind was still on my ex most of the times...

Then came one of my biggest decisions: fixing my pectus excavatum with a surgery. My heart and lungs got more space, plus my appearance improved (no more dent in chest = self esteem doubled, yay). But the pain from the surgery was one of the worst physical pains I've ever felt. Because I basically couldn't leave the house for 2 months I decided to delete tinder and put all my focus on my mind and health. I started reading and doing research online about human psychology, neuroplasticity and my nerd loving self even tried to find links between Dragon Ball Z and the psychology behind it.

Then I somehow stumbled onto this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/47gun0/anime_and_trp/

I didn't know what TRP was and at first I thought this was just a place for guys bragging about how they fuck girls. But I kept on reading and all the pieces of the puzzle slowly started to fall into place. Slowly started to realize I missed so many red flags during my LTR and starting to see where I had Blue pill traits. Remembering the letter I wrote her in my all time low blue pill state of mind (Thank god I didn't send her that letter), I took it out of my room and torched it. For the first time in almost a year I felt like I was finally starting to drop my past and focus on the future. I started to feel free again.

I've been lurking for a few weeks before I decided to sign up and thank you guys. Dragon Ball Z led me to this place and I don't care about anyone commenting with the rule 'Use of fiction or other controlled narratives (reality tv, etc) should only be used as an example of the author's psychology, not the character's.'. It made me find this place, which is much more important to me.

The past year I've been so much more productive than any other year in my life, and i'm so thankful for the fact that I discovered TRP at 21 years old, there is so much more life ahead of me so I get to enjoy the major part of my life that is still to come. I fell in love with improving myself, some things are hard to do but I don't see it as a choir.

I gained some RP traits, and discarded some BP ones. I'm for a fact not 100% RP yet, but lurking for a while made me realize it takes a long time (several years) to really learn and implement all this stuff. Knowing there are guys out there that felt like I did made me feel a lot stronger.

I'm looking forward to learn and become a full RP one day.

Thank you TRP ;)