So in the recent vein of discussing "The 48 laws of power" I just started reading "The Art of Manipulation by R.B Sparkman". I think that it would be interesting to discuss the principles in this book here.

So here's a TL;DR of manipulation techniques found throughout the book:

Signs that you are getting played

  1. Are the person constantly trying to reaffirm how much their offer/solution/idea will benefit you? He/She is probably up to something. Because they obviously know that it's not a good offer they have.

  2. If you doubt someones credibility, I.E a plate. Hear their story twice, is their any alarming inconsistencies between the two different times the story was told.

Making people addicted to you or reinforcing intermittently

  1. Analyze a person and find out what to reinforce in them. Is it money? Ego-caressing? Sex? Intermittent reinforcement will not work if there is nothing to reinforce.

  2. Appear unpredictable. If there is too much positive reinforcement people will take you for granted. If there is too much negative reinforcement people will find somewhere else to get reinforcement. What you need to do is change it up a lot, maybe be nice 2/3 times but deny people reinforcement every 1/3 times. Also make use of pre-selection in this context; when you are negatively reinforcing show your victim that you can get what you want from them elsewhere.

How be likeable/Use favoritism

  1. Smile, although not ALL the time. Don't make your smile look smug and manipulative. So, smile before and after saying something that would merit a smile.

  2. Covert flattery: Tell people that something they said has helped you. Ask people about how they got into their business or career and actually listen.

The frame of "I don't need you, you need me"

  1. Come from a place of abundance, or at least fake it. People will not believe that they need you more than you them, if you are never getting laid and if you are always low on cash.

  2. Use silence to your benefit. If you have your back against the wall and want to win back the frame: Ask someone a question, look in their eyes and shut up until they answer the question.

  3. The technique of making it seem like you don't need someone is a calculated risk, but works most of the time. Some people like to do people favors etc. out of pity. They want to do so because they LIKE to help people in need.

Avoiding conflicts that you can not benefit from

  1. Swallow your pride and appear meek and humble. This way you will avoid high expectations and enemies looking for revenge.

  2. Whenever someone tries to chew you off or have a "hurtful" remark. Just say: "You are probably right". This way the other person won't know what to say, because you agree with everything they say. All in all, you will avoid friction and your future manipulations will be easier.

Discovering people's real emotions and motivations

  1. Ask a VERY direct question while maintaining eye contact about something you want to know. It will take approximately three seconds for the victim to regain their composure before answering. In these three seconds, at the victims eyes and general facial expression and interpret their response.

  2. Another way to find out people's motive. For an example if they do not want to comply with your idea, at first ask them, "Why don't you wanna do it my way?", they will trail off on some noble cause etc. usually, when they are done with this, ask them: "Any other reason in addition to that?". This will usually cull the facts from the pretense and might allow you to turn a no into a maybe.

Dealing with adversity

  1. Decide what you want and resolve not to quit until you get it

  2. Prepare for the worst possible consequences of failure. Mentally accept the consequences. Then do EVERYTHING you can to avoid this failure.

  3. Vow to learn something from every defeat through self-examination.

Manipulating a person against their will

  1. Who says it matters more than what is said. The first question to ask yourself in a manipulation, is not "What should I say?" but "Does this person like me?". Logic will not work and if you start arguing with someone to convince them, drop it immediately and make a friend of the person or drop the relationship if there is nothing to gain.

  2. In the same vein, this applies to relationships and getting laid. Girls will ONLY fuck you if they actually like you/are attracted to you physically. Either drop the relationship, improve yourself or do some better groundwork.

  3. The rule of thumb no. 1: Sell yourself before you sell your ideas.

How to win most arguments

  1. Rule of thumb no. 2: Let any useless arguments lie. If the argument will not affect you in any way, then don't have it. Only argue if the argument affect your physical, mental, financial or significant other's well-being.

  2. By abiding to rule of thumb no. 1 and 2. You will be right 95% of the time, since you will only be debating people who "like" and "respect" you and it will only be vital matters that you are debating.

The unargue technique

  1. Refer to Rule of thumb no. 1. Try to mirror the victim, find all your similarities and greatly exaggerate them. Avoid looking phony and avoid any disagreements. This means that you will be "friends" and "soul mates" with only ONE problem to settle (Whatever you are trying to gain from the manipulation)

  2. Listen closely to any objections. This will do two things, you will be able to pick out the core of the objections you have to overcome and you will seem caring and avoid any resentment from the victim.

  3. Agree with the victims feelings and massage the ego out of the way. Do not agree with the point of view of the victims, ONLY the feelings. Usually someone who tries to do this says: "Yes, but ...". This is not adequate as it will create resentment in the victim, because you are moving so quickly over the issue. Rather you should say: "I don't blame you for feeling that way. I've felt that way myself". Then relate some experience that you've had before to hers so you don't sound like a phony.

  4. Point out areas of agreement. Appeal to common values.

  5. Overcome the victims objections by stating your case right.

  6. After you have stated the case, come up with a remark that makes it sound like you need the person less than the person needs you.

  7. Save face for your victim every chance you get. Don't do this as a last step, but just do it throughout the manipulation. Admit if you are wrong on small and useless arguments. Make small and meaningless compromises.

What to do when the victim is paralyzed in a yes-no state

  1. When you sense that the victim disagrees with you less than before and is paralyzed by indecision, it is time to apply pressure.

  2. Sum up your case in a sentence or two, ask for what you want.

  3. Shut up completely and endure the silence.

  4. After a moment of silence, confidently make a choice for your victim and assume a yes. Act on this appropriately.

If all else fails

  1. Make use of other people close to the victim. Make them speak on your behalf and admire you.

What helping people gets you

  1. The amount of ingratitude you receive is proportional to the debt a person owes you. This is because the person has already benefitted from you, and has no reason to flatter you anymore. There is nothing left to gain.

  2. Do less for others and when you do make use of intermittent reinforcement to avoid ingratitude.

EDIT: Link to book: https://www.scribd.com/doc/39587008/Manipulation

If you can only see a preview of it you need a scribd account. A scribd account is only 8$ a month and there is a plethora of useful books, documents and audiobooks on there.

EDIT 2: What some of you may have to remember is that not all of this applies to EVERY situation you EVER encounter. It is merely tools for getting what you want from people. These techniques also need to come from a place of emotional control, don't do any of this from a place of oneitis or emotional desperacy.