A Stoic's Career and Life Advice

October 10, 2016

I've garnered immeasurable value from browsing this subreddit over the years, and believe it's about time to start returning some back. I work for one of the world's largest financial institutions and, through the I've lessons internalized (with partial thanks to the great men who post on this subreddit), I've gained a reputation as the go to mentor for new hires looking to embark on the path of becoming their best selves. Here are a few of the main points I cover in a first meeting:

In the Workplace:

Positivity is a choice, and an incredibly useful tool. Be willing to tackle any task placed before you, and allow enthusiasm to flow throughout the completion of each. Why do you think they ask so many personality questions in interviews? One of the most important things to keep in mind when working for someone is just how strongly their perception of you can be altered based on how enjoyable you are to work with. Remaining present in each and every situation while radiating positive emotion towards others will cause them to begin to crave your presence.

Never complain or gossip. Do what has to be done without complaining and avoid gossiping as most will secretly or subconsciously look down on you for it. Make it appear as if you leap over obstacles with ease as it’s one of the best ways to garner respect (Law #30 in the 48 Laws of Power – make your accomplishments seem effortless).

Talk to everyone. Find commonalities and show genuine interest in each person you interact with while remembering FORD/RPM (On the table: Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams; Off the table: Religion, Politics, Money). “Learn to be interested so people want to talk to you, and interesting so people want to listen to you.”

“It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” Yes, it’s cliché, but I’ve heard this spouted time and time again by higher-ups, and have seen it to be true. Seek out individuals that have high influence and try to make connections with them. Thrive whenever opportunities to prove your worth arise as fostering strong relationships with senior management is the best way to fast track your own rise to their level.

Learn to value your time, and don’t give it away easily. You’re closer to closer to death with each tick of the clock (mention leader of Dark Army’s obsession with time in Mr. Robot), and anyone worth a damn will respect you for attempting to squeeze as much value as possible out of your forever fleeting time. The more you value the moments in your life and the improvement you derive from utilizing each to the greatest extent possible, the more people will want to be around you. Most hope to surround themselves with driven and successful individuals, and driven and successful individuals become labeled as such after years of taking advantage of the opportunities laid before them. A filtering process where you determine the worthiness of people and activities in your life becomes more and more necessary as you align your actions closer and closer with what it takes to attain self-actualization.

In Life (The Path to Self-Actualizing):

Find your own life philosophy, and be a soldier of it. Developing and refining a life code over time will provide you with the ability to quickly judge your actions and mindset, as well as a strong frame of reference when figuring out how to most efficiently tackle obstacles laid before you. This is a never-ending process, but the self-awareness and growth that arises from it will emit benefits into both your day to day and long-term experiences.

Cultivate a mentality of abundance (antifragility; living life free of attachments). There are two different lenses of which a person can view life: one of scarcity, and one of abundance. An individual seeing life through the lens of scarcity is driven by fear and insecurity; they spend a great deal of time worrying about how others perceive them and rely heavily on stability, meaning they have allowed themselves to become strongly attached to the relationships and objects in their lives. Those who’ve cultivated an abundance mentality realize the vast number of things worthy of their gratitude, and have little to no fear of losing any single one. Consider that we have more in our lives today (technology, medicine, and other luxuries) than anyone did in the 1800s, yet so many people fail to find contentment. This greatly stems from just how easy it is to fall prey to comparisons; if you have a $500k house and live on a street filled with mansions, you’d likely feel inadequate, while that wouldn’t be the case in 99% of other communities. The less you require in life to be happy, the better your life will be. Those living in abundance realize just how little they truly need (it’s all about perspective), and their mental fortitude opens the door to limitless opportunities as they don’t fear taking risks. Learn to treat outcomes with passive indifference while caring only about the actions you take, and you will be better off for it. One of my favorite quotes that entwines stoic and zen philosophy is relevant here: “Not giving a f*** isn’t about not giving a f***, it’s about embracing your natural capability to weather any amount of suffering, loss, or change. In essence, it’s about pleasantly floating while the whole world frantically swims, and, if you’re good, it’s about teaching others to float with you. After all, life is better with company.”

Learn how to suppress your ego and fully open your mind to new perspectives. The greatest obstacle to learning is not ignorance, but the illusion of knowledge. The quickest way to hinder your progress is by preventing yourself from internalizing the viewpoints held by respectable individuals because arrogance clouds your ability to objectively judge critiques given to you. Embrace constructive criticism as locating your flaws and working towards improving each competency you’re lacking in allows you to excel, while continually congratulating yourself on your strengths does nothing to progress your standing. Take in new information with an open mind by attempting to remain objective while tying little importance to whether or not it conflicts with your viewpoints or perceived self-value.

Find a mentor worthy of emulation. A mentor is one of the most useful tools you can ever have when it comes to streamlining the acquisition of qualities you hope to adopt into your life. Learn from their mistakes before you wind up falling prey to each, and apply the lessons they’ve learned from their experiences in whatever way possible. One of the salient points to bring up here is I often notice people instantly ignoring individuals they disagree with on certain issues and treating them with disdain, but most successful individuals will have at least one trait they’ve mastered that’s worth paying attention to. And once you begin to master these traits yourself, mentor others so they can benefit from everything you’ve learned from your own accomplishments and greatest failures (which are necessary and should not be avoided), as it is teaching each trait that enables us to reach the final stage of mastery.

Embrace the struggle, and create a sense of urgency in your day to day life. As I said before, learn to value your time and live your life with purpose by taking it upon yourself to improve your self-worth on a daily basis. Become obsessed with self-betterment, intensely intellectually curious, and read vigorously in your free time to broaden your perspectives, and better understanding the intricacies of both business and the world as a whole. You most likely don’t remember what you did four years ago today, but the actions your younger self took got you where you are now. Seek difficult situations that challenge you as much as possible because forcing your body and mind to adapt is the fastest way to grow, and you will be able to forever reap the rewards of your hard work and time invested.

TL;DR: You expect to grow without having the discipline to read a five minute post? GTFO.

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Post Information
Title A Stoic's Career and Life Advice
Author HesAGoodfella
Upvotes 850
Comments 71
Date October 10, 2016 12:20 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/a-stoics-career-and-life-advice.39491
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/56roi6/a_stoics_career_and_life_advice/
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[–]Ediesel55 points56 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Great read, thanks for the taking the time to get that down on paper. One point that resonated with me is: the 'illusion of knowledge'. After being on this sub for two years and actively working to internalize, utilize, and master the techniques and teachings that are displayed here; it's still important for me to remember that there's plenty left learn before overall 'mastery' is complete. And on that note, humbling yourself enough to be able to analyze a person that you have a general disdain for in order to take something away from that interaction, is a wise piece of advice.

[–]HesAGoodfella[S] 57 points58 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

"I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing." -Plato

[–]DwightWolftail21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Socrates actually . Plato took it from him .

[–]HesAGoodfella[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Plato's version is more eloquent than Socrate's version ("I know that I know nothing"), but you're correct.

Thankfully, when one shows admiration for Plato, they are also directing a portion of it towards Socrates since he was his mentor. The same for Aristotle or Alexander the Great.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You really think your path to mastery can ever come to an end ? That's not how humans work, if we could ever find satisfaction, mankind would not be where we are, this is what keeps us going forward.

[–]CamTalbot3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"You've reached the top but still you gotta learn

how to keep it" - Push it to the Limit song

[–]1v1mebruh38 points39 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Can mods Gove this guy a point? Can someone ask for that? This is way higher quality material than average.

[–]trippinallday7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's kinda sad this subs degraded to the point where a post like this is "way higher quality" than average.

Not saying this post is shit or something, just that the general quality used to be a whole lot higher.

[–]Imapopulistnow 19 points19 points [recovered] | Copy Link

So where does the "think like a victim and blame others for your misfortunes" fit in?

[–]HesAGoodfella[S] 29 points30 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Aaaaand now I have an idea of how I want to go about writing-up the satirical version to shock new hires with.

"The first step in achieving greatness: Divert blame at all costs! If your boss (or anyone else for that matter) criticizes you or your work, immediately file a complaint with HR and escalate your concerns to their manager."

[–]Imapopulistnow 9 points9 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Ferret out the whiners before they learn the HR is on management's side. Well played.

[–]HesAGoodfella[S] 18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Seeing the amount of employees on the bottom of the totem pole that fall prey to believing HR gives a damn about them is...amusing. While I work alongside several brilliant women, those in HR are incompetent, selfish, and have surprisingly low emotional intelligence. I try to stay in their good graces since they love getting off on their small power trips whenever possible, but diligently avoid relying on them for anything.

[–]frogNews9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I really liked the abundance and open perspective sections! I'm practicing and trying out what it really means to "not care."

[–]HesAGoodfella[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you!

Just remember, not caring only applies to OUTCOMES because you know you'll be fine, no matter what result arises. Your ACTIONS should be of upmost importance as it is through meticulously scrutinizing each that we are able to most effectively mold ourselves into stronger, more valuable individuals. This process requires throwing your ego aside (fuck self-pity) and embracing equanimity as being overly critical of yourself can bring insecurity with it, but only in the beginning. Seek what you view to be most important in your life that you also have the capacity to manipulate, and allow passion to flow through the steps you take to change each of those things for the better. Allowing passive indifference to seep into all aspects of your life will create apathy, and with apathy comes a lack of drive and meaning. If that occurs, remind yourself of your dwindling moments and rage against it (preferably in the gym).

[–]nadolny712 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

The daily sense of urgency is a big thing. If you forget about this you will be just like those who reach 30 and wonder how did he get there. The days keep rolling and its up to you what you make of them.

[–]HesAGoodfella[S] 18 points19 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. And then many tell themselves it's too late to start, which is bogus. I posted this as a comment on this subreddit awhile back and think it might be of some use here as well:

"I wake every morning and attempt to look at my life from the perspective of myself 10 years in the future. I don't remember what I was doing on May 22nd, 2006, but I'm damn glad that child put the effort forth he had to at that time so I could reap the rewards I do today. That younger version of me is dead now, as is every other version of myself that has woken since, and the guy who woke up today will be dead tomorrow. All that I will care about in 2026 regarding this year is whether or not each of my younger selves were able to conceptualize the bigger picture, and use the drive from that vision to hit the ground running each and every day.

I've been in a perpetual state of self-improvement since I began doing this, and have viewed every experience I enter as a potential for growth. This type of mentality can bring with it fear, but the fear of wasting my short time on earth achieving little of value greatly exceeds it. Any neuroticism is diminished by teachings I've internalized through stoicism and mindfulness/meditation, and the purest bliss felt through my accomplishments alone.

My final goal is to look back on my life upon my deathbed with a mind at ease; a mind that realizes each of it's older versions were steadfast in achieving that goal, and exuberant simply because they were given the gift of life, as well as the ability to understand their impermanence in this universe, and did everything they could to squeeze the most out of their forever dwindling moments."

[–][deleted] 4 points4 points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]HesAGoodfella[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I haven't spoken about this to many people, but porn was a huge driver of my apathy in the early years of college. I was about as addicted as you really can be (watching on a daily basis and eventually coming down with a severe case of porn-induced ED for a bit, which was fucking terrifying to find out after failing to get hard with a girl from one of my classes). I failed a few times at cutting it out, but forgave myself with each failure because I was giving it my best effort. With patience and determination, I was able to cut it out entirely, and haven't looked back.

It's all a progression, and your goals have to be easily attainable at first. So many fail to keep on track because they set too high of a standard for themselves early on, falter a few times at reaching their unlikely goals, and start asking themselves "what's the use?" Just as heroin users have to wean off their drug usage slowly or they're very likely to relapse back into their usage as strong as ever, you should focus on each alteration you're attempting to make by breaking it down to a micro-scale, and congratulate yourself as each piece falls into place.

Making a conscious effort in each and every moment to focus on long term happiness and prosperity is really difficult at first, but it gets easier with each and every step in the right direction.

Today, I choose to laugh at myself instead of getting down when I make a dumb mistake or fail at something because I view myself as a poorly programmed unit. Instead of yelling at myself internally, I simply make the necessary tweaks to my inner code, and move forward. You have to find balance in your self-progression by not only learning how to confront what needs fixed and take the necessary actions to get on with it, but also to enjoy the process. We're all shaped from our genetics at birth and environment from that point forward, and changing our lifelong behavior is a bitch because we're so ingrained in living the way we always have; understand it will come with time.

I STRONGLY suggest you read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. That book has been my bible over the last few years and has affected me in an immensely positive way.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I always say, Regret is Hell.

[–]idgaf-5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just the post I needed this morning, thanks.

[–]SrPildoraRoja5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel I should read this every day. Thank you so much

[–]Dustin_Bromain4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Man, this post and your subsequent responses have been truly enlightening to me. The most pressing question that comes to my mind is, if you're in a rut, how do you start the process of getting out of it? Where does the drive to succeed and the innate inspiration to achieve come from? Apathy and passive indifference, two concepts that you mentioned in an earlier comment, have always been the bane to my existence.

[–]HesAGoodfella[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I really appreciate your comment since seeing the impact spreading the knowledge I've been fortunate enough to acquire has on others is about as rewarding as any of my accomplishments as an individual.

Do you believe yours is derived from a lack of purpose? I ask because I became depressed rather heavily a few years back after going through the first stages of comprehending the absurdity of our existence (I'm an existentialist in the sense that I believe nothing matters unless I, as a subjective individual, decide it does), but fully coming to terms with a lack of universal meaning is what has allowed me to thrive ever since. I don't stress the small things and I realize just how little I and everything around me matters in the grand scheme of things. On a cosmic scale, we're here for a blink of an eye, and then we fade into the black forever. Treating this as a good thing seems like lunacy at first, but it opens the door to limitless possibilities, and you realize for the first time that you're free to live your life in whatever way you deem best without fear of the result.

While my post might make it appear as if I treat everything in my life very seriously, that couldn't be much further from the truth. I try to squeeze passion and enjoyment out of every moment, even in the darkest of times. I nearly died a year ago (and have a post about it if you're interested) and found myself relishing in the experience. I've tripped and fallen in the rain after leaving work while wearing a suit and laughed manically the entire time. I fell into a bout of insanity for a 48 hour period after an LSD trip and found the mysterious mess of it to be wonderful.

In the end, I perpetually push myself hard to accomplish great things because I know this is what will bring me true contentment; to know that I can take a step back at any moment and think "damn, look at what it is I've accomplished and the impact, no matter how small, I've been able to make on my life and the lives of those I hold closest," and that keeps me going every morning I wake. Even though I said nothing matters in an objective sense, positive thinking and taking action towards enhancing your enjoyment of life brings with it abundant subjective value, and my goal is to see just how high I can build that value while I'm here.

My top suggestions would be learning how to find beauty in darkness and happiness in the simplest of things, practice mindfulness, read philosophy, eat healthy (everything in moderation), and routinely lift or run as physically grinding until complete exhaustion and the endorphins that come with it is one of the best feelings there is in my opinion.

[–]Dustin_Bromain1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We have a lot of similar experiences, believe it or not. I've had four near-death experiences in my life; I've undergone some therapy because of that. I had a serious crisis of faith trying to rationalize why I did not perish when many people die easily from the experiences I went through. A few months ago I combined a few fun drugs and unintentionally had a bad trip. That helped put life into a different perspective. Ive gotten a lot better at the art of positivity, I truly love being positive now. I lift of course. But to answer your question, I've always had issues with motivation and I believe it stems from a lack of purpose. I have fleeting desires, and while I can logically appreciate the need for long-term commitment of various short-term goals that eventually lead to self-actualization, the burning drive just isn't there. Thank you for the response, I'd be estastic if you gave any further input as to my predicament.

[–]dpgproductions2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I love the quote on stoicism and zen philosophy. When I'm going through a tough point in my life (e.g. currently), I often catch myself wondering if I should/why I don't have more anxiety or emotional stress about my circumstances when that seems to be the norm in our society. But over time, I've realized it's from years of mental exercise and repeating a lot of the ideas you've laid out in this post to myself and internalizing them. It's not that I don't care, it's that my experiences have allowed me to understand challenges, failure, learning from mistakes, and so on as well as focusing on what I can control and not worrying about things which I cannot control (death of a family member, losing a job through no fault of my own, etc.) I love the fact that people really do recognize these characteristics sometimes and it gives me a healthy sense of self worth and accomplishment. I do try to pass along any advice I can to those who need it, but my biggest point is always about how much effort and self discipline it takes to really change your mindset in life and the actions you take every day. Great post, OP!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

your Tl;dr may contradict one of your very own points for some of us...

[–]HesAGoodfella[S] 10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I added it mostly for humorous effect, but this post likely wasn't created for you if that's the case. Either way, I'm glad to see you took the time to read through it anyways.

[–]atomsk4131 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I got the humor in it haha

I especially like the point about talking with everyone and "Law 30"... that led me to eventually meet my Mentor worth Emulating. Solid post OP

[–]sendmepicsofyourbutt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most of this stuff is almost verbatim of what Tony Robbins has been saying since the 80's. Almost all of his stuff is now on YouTube so if you're the type of person who needs this hammered home a billion times, you can listen to it whenever you need to!

[–]Paratonir1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Find your own life philosophy, and be a soldier of it. Developing and refining a life code over time will provide you with the ability to quickly judge your actions and mindset, as well as a strong frame of reference when figuring out how to most efficiently tackle obstacles laid before you. This is a never-ending process, but the self-awareness and growth that arises from it will emit benefits into both your day to day and long-term experiences.

This paragraph illustrates the most critical skill that I am lacking in order to fix this life of mine. Are there some references/guidelines which might help me kick-start this process?

[–]omonicor[🍰] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Brilliant post, I'm a recently unplugged one. I would like to know about your story. What brought you to this sub? How much have you changed or improved since then?

[–]HesAGoodfella[S] 14 points15 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I'm confident my "awakening" sparked from the same reason that brought a lot of the guys here; a bad relationship. I had already begun acknowledging a few of the flaws I had previously shied away from, but the relationship is what opened my my eyes entirely.

I was dating a girl back in college that I thought at the time was a pretty great chick (intelligent, great sense of humor, decently attractive, etc.). I realized after about a month that there were hints she didn't respect me, and I started to ask myself why I put up with her bullshit (going out to bars too often, criticizing me in front of people, and other acts a girl commits when she sees her boyfriend as BB). I started digging deeper into my psyche (with a bit of help from Mary J), and eventually realized it's because I didn't value myself. I felt lucky to even be in her presence, and was terrified of doing anything that would cause her to lash out at me. I was narcissistic from a young age, but my superiority complex was fueled by insecurity, and made it incredibly difficult for me to make many close friends.

This hit me like a wave and ate at me hard for about a week, but then I confronted it full force. I got in my car, blasted "babe I'm gonna leave you" by Led Zeppelin, broke up with my girlfriend, and got to reading as much as I possibly could online about being a better person and cultivating self-growth.

With this came a vast improvement in how I carried myself. I worked on my fashion sense, added discipline in the gym, and finally started opening books instead of wasting times watching Netflix, movies, and playing video games. One of the biggest changes was in my interpersonal skills because of my newfound open-mindedness (I realized if I was dumb enough to miss all of the red flags in my life before, there's likely a myriad other flaws to be found) and empathy for others going through the struggle I had and still was. I started reading up on the type of personality and appearance I should strive for that both women would find attractive and men would respect, and that's where self-development and seduction posts from TRP came into play.

With that came the girls and the start of a great career, and it's been nothing but up since then. I still have a long way to go after looking at the paths walked by great individuals, but I'd be lying if I said I'm not enjoying each and every bit of it.

Hopefully that was detailed enough! At work so it's difficult to balance responses with tasks at the moment.

[–]Crailberry2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Could you please list some of the books you recommend to read? There's so many out there and I have no idea where to start. I can definitely feel I'm in a transitional state. I've had amazing discipline in the gym for the last 2 years, got a college degree last December, spend a lot of my spare time learning new programming techniques to further my career, have learned to be a lot more disciplined with my finances, etc etc. But right now, I'd say I really need to move onto developing my personality/social interactions the most. I have a great personality, but when it comes to my job I often suck at talking with my boss, or being a leader, or conversing with co workers that I have had little interaction with. I'm often staying "behind the curtain", if you will. And I recognize it. Everyday. So I Believe I'm on the right track with at least recognizing it, but I need some guidance on how to develop my life in that particular area more.

So if you have any recommendations for books that would help me with this, I would be incredibly appreciative. It sounds like 48 Laws of Power might be a good one.

[–]omonicor[🍰] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Awesome! Thank you very much. How much time did you remained by your own in order to improve and develop? Since the break up have you been in a LTR o just plates?

[–]HesAGoodfella[S] 10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Of course! I didn't enter a "monk mode" after the breakup (if that's what you're asking), but I did become a lot more picky with how I used my time. The main two changes were:

-I cut back on all of the passive activities I previously wasted my days away doing, and directed that time towards value producing activities (reading, writing, lifting, refining my social skills by establishing strong connections with people, learning transferable skills that made me better at my job, studying for professional certifications) instead.

-I came to terms with the fact a few of my buddies from high school that had stuck with me through college were no longer worth the investment due to their blatant lack of awareness of what they should be doing with their lives, and instead started making genuine connections with people I respected (usually after noticing their positivity and/or open-mindedness, drive in the gym and at work, intellect, and other positive traits you'd associate with someone who's trying to make the most of their brief period on this planet).

I didn't focus on women for the first few months because I realized I had so many other more important things to get in line first, but it was insane noticing just how much easier it was to pick up chicks when I was out after I started getting back into the game. Even though I had several plates after a few months, I eventually dropped them once coming across an amazing girl, and have been with her for the last year and a half. I didn't think I would wind up in a relationship for several years, and I've taken all of the warnings from this subreddit to heart, but she's exactly what I would hope to find in a worthy partner: attractive, intelligent, a homebody (doesn't go out on her own) but isn't afraid to let loose when she's with me, doesn't allow emotions to dictate her behavior, quickly admits fault, always DTF, and puts an honest effort towards making my life as great as she can because she values the hell out of me. I'm not going to delude myself into thinking it'll last forever because life can change in an instant, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't loving everything about the relationship. That being said, I don't fret what would happen if I was no longer with her because there are so many other things in this existence worthy of enjoyment.

[–]SeanyyyyBoy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for writing this.

[–]barranquitas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow, what a great story! Thanks for sharing, man.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Best TL;DR. Great read, thanks. "Open your mind to new perspectives" this seems to be especially relevant due to the shit show happening in the US right now. The non-stoics are revealing themselves in droves, makes me realize how important it is to just work on myself and surround myself with abundance and other motivated people.

[–]clonegreen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's amazing how when you invest in yourself that all the points OP mentioned seem to resonate and come full circle.

Whether it be meditation, eating right, exercise, psychology, anthropology or whatever, you'll find exclusive parallels that make all this rich information seem more potent and obvious.

[–]Dr_Frogstein0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good stuff. Needed something like this right now.

[–]baseballfan9010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This was an awesome read, I'm saving this.

[–]Yourgonnagofarkid0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Awesome post! Any books you recommend for life, job and relationships? Anything really.

[–]HesAGoodfella[S] 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Here's a few:

-Meditations by Marcus Aurelius has had the largest overall impact on my life by far. Study it, understand the implications of each maxim if properly harnessed, and write your own versions of your favorite lessons to instill them into your daily habits.

-Siddhartha by Herman Hesse and The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho for finding contentment in wherever the river of life takes you

-The Prince by Niccollo Machiavelli and The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene for elevating your strategic thinking skills

-How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie for...well...the title

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great list. Siddhartha is an astonishing novel and it's one of those you really learn something from that you can use in your daily life.
I also enjoyed Narziß und Goldmund by Hesse which has a bit of similarities to Siddhartha in the plot (Narziß is living in a monastery and is the mentor of Goldmund; one day Goldmund decides to make a journey through medieval germany and on his way he has a lot of hookups - then a few years later he comes back to Narziß..I don't want to reveal to much. Just check it out!)
Because I have read all the works of the stoics I would add
- Enchiridion by Epictetus and
- De providentia by Seneca
to the list. Highly, highly recommend checking them out.
And of course everyone should read the sidebar material (especially The manipulated man by Esther Vilar).

[–]vipernick9130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Have to admit The Alchemist is a really good read. Thanks for the other suggestions. Will read them at leisure.

[–]Yourgonnagofarkid0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks man. Like you said, seeking a mentor is a vital part of learning and betterment. I am studying to be a financial analyst/advisor and wanted to know if you have any insight in that part of business and if you are willing to offer any advice.

Again, thanks for the quality post and replies. I learned a great amount already

[–]Asheal880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Man did this hit home, thanks for the great read

[–]neondaroo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great write up! I'd like to add a little something about FORD/RPM.

It's not entirely frowned upon to talk about money at work. You have to do it properly and not make it a pissing contest with your peers. The state that I work in actually has a law against employers dissuading the employees from discussing their salaries with each other. This is because if you approach the conversation with your peers, you (and/or them) can actually know if you are underpaid and start getting your justification for a raise or to request to be at market. Just remember to choose which of your peers to discuss this with and that your battle is against your employer.

[–]DonPivotal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Late to the party. Excellent advice, particularly liked the FORD/ RPM - I've heard this in bits and pieces but that acronym really sums it up well.

Does your mentor have to be someone you can have a dialogue / exchange with? Or can it be someone who you look up to? I don't have a "mentor" per se, but I really look up to Gary Vaynerchuk - both his advice and work ethic / life outlook.

Besides 48 laws, any other must read books you'd suggest?

[–]1991Kira0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great post. And possibly one of the best TL;DR I've ever seen XD

[–]RPFlame0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Regarding Ego, a book that I'm currently reading will complement the point, called "Ego is the enemy" and it's written by the same guy who wrote "The obstacle is the way".

He's also preparing a book about Stoicism, to be released this month.

[–]shanghaiex_pat0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

ehh, same shit has been posted many times already

[–]HesAGoodfella[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm glad you've seen most of this before, and hopefully it did some good for you! However, it appears many haven't been browsing this subreddit as long as you have, and it made an impact on them.

[–]yummyluckycharms0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Positivity is a choice, and an incredibly useful tool.

Don't do this. Whenever I'm looking to find someone to dump work onto, I always look for the local excel monkey who wont complain. The positive people are treated like door mats - wanna know who isnt? Look up the food chain. Senior management aren't cracking jokes all the time or smiling like Cheshire cats all the time because they know that being stoic is what it takes to be taken seriously at work.

As to the reason why they ask so many personality questions is because companies want to know who they care hire cheaply and who will complain the least when being exploited. When you go for senior positions, they aren't asking personality questions - it becomes far more hard skill focused. Think about it

[–]HesAGoodfella[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You've raised great points, and I see how it could be interpreted that way. This write up was directed at new hires who might be quick to express discontent during the more difficult of days, and I wasn't alluding that one should walk around cheerfully dealing with any bullshit thrown their way. The main intention was to convey that co-workers don't want to deal with negative emotions on a daily basis, and will find an excuse to remove you from their team at the first available moment if you're someone that is constantly bitching and moaning.

This doesn't mean you shouldn't carry yourself in a direct and stern manner at times. If you feel you're being treated unfairly, handle the issue rationally by address it in a private meeting, but don't allow emotions to drive unwarranted behavior.

I fully agree with your breakdown of the filtering process for senior managers vs. worker bees as a leader of a team must demand presence, and be unwavering in their opinions when they know they're correct. It's all about finding the proper balance; those with little leverage must establish strong connections with those who have it through a mix of personality and skill, while those at the top are graded almost entirely on what truly matters: their effectiveness in getting things done.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This was well written. Thank you

[–]GiskardReventelov0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A fantastic read. It resonates very well with the book "mastery". Thank you for the great advice.

[–]Neo_Natal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is the first post I've saved from TRP in months. You have some very valuable insights, and it was a very optimistic and uplifting read, which you don't get here very much.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

TL;DR: You expect to grow without having the discipline to read a five minute post? GTFO.

Well said, well said.

[–]RushJones0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for writing this post. Posts like these are always welcome

[–]StoicCrane0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

An emotionally resonant thought provoking post. Much appreciated OP.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, I'll be applying this to becoming a slave in food service industry or clothing. It's almost like reminding humans how to be humans is some type of accomplishment now.

[–]Temperfuelmma-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

• Embrace the struggle, and create a sense of urgency in your day to day life.

Yeah, no.


Your philosophy isn't for me. It seems to be screaming at me "WORK. WORK HARD. LIFE IS A RACE. IF YOU WAKE UP 5MINS LATE YOUR LIFE IS RUINED. RUN BITCH. RUN"

Nigga, life isn't supposed to be spent running a race trynna beat everybody.

Do because you want to do not because you have to do because when you have to you're a slave but when you want to you're above and beyond.

[–]shitsintents0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The OP and you seem to be infering that the issue is black or white. Rush or take it slow. I'm not convinced that it's to be one or the other.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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