Alpha Game: Life isn't personal

December 3, 2013

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Title Alpha Game: Life isn't personal
Author redpillschool
Upvotes 32
Comments 8
Date December 3, 2013 2:13 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
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[–]rykocolor 15 points15 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I like this, especially the story he told of being at the gym. I noticed that women don't do this when I was young because of my mother. If I made a mistake around my father, if he could tell I knew what I had done was a mistake he would just let it go and barely say anything or pat me on the back to reassure me all was well and he was glad I learned something. If I make a mistake around my mother, and she can tell I know I made a mistake, she would still lecture me for 30m or more about how I made the mistake, why I made the mistake, and how to avoid mistakes in the future. While this isn't bad or anything, it would get dreary and felt like she thought I was stupid. Just a huge difference in reactions that was always interesting to notice.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I noticed that women don't do this

There is such a big difference in how women and men handle such situations. I find that men's input is much more constructive (although harsh), but women just start shaming to no end.

[–]RockinRhombus4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Funny thing, I work with a couple of guys who are like this. Quick to point out your mistakes and the lectures afterwards. If they make a mistake, it's no problem, or they pass it off to someone else (usually the case).

They walk around saying how "real men" behave, yet don't realize all that posturing is not necessary. WE all know they're pretty much the epitome of what not to be. I wonder if they pick up on that. Maybe they have to say it out loud because they lack the feeling.

[–]hiyuh13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Guys don’t really have to shit-test each other because the male social environment contains an implicit contract of competition – we understand that we’re supposed to respond to challenges by competing, and that those who compete frequently or well have enhanced opportunities in the social order.

This is probably one of the most important lessons for a new RPer (If they don't already understand the concept), it made such a difference for me when I finally understood why my friends would "challenge" me & that it wasn't meant as a personal attack every time. I don't even want to think about how many friends I've lost because I didn't realize this earlier.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Without getting too specific, I spend most of my free time trying to make my hobby into my full-time job, and it's a field notoriously filled with hazing. It took me so long to realize how to respond to it correctly, and it's taken me forever to fix the relationships that I had with people who first met me and teased me, because I just succumbed to it and took it too much to heart.

However, I disagree with the premise that this isn't male shit-testing. While not as deep or manipulative as a woman testing a guy with commitment/time/etc, male hazing is how we gauge each other's confidence levels. The trust that's formed between two guys who can give each other shit is based on knowing the guy isn't a sensitive little bitch who can handle honesty and add value to our lives. If he gets flustered, I can still respect him for his output, no question, but there won't be a strong relationship.

A lot of my male friendships got fucked up because I didn't have self-confidence and I was taught to be nice, and now that I can see that that's bullshit, I have way more fun giving my friends light shit back and forth. And having these stronger male friendships based on joking around absolutely helps me tease women better.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This actually explains a lot about the interactions between women and men. When women hang out, they're always complimenting each other, but when men hang out, we're more crude and uncaring of what our friends 'feel' because we know they don't take it personally and they can laugh at themselves.

[–]Redpillc0re5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I 'm afraid men today are raised not to react this way, but to shift the blame, be entitled and whine - all female qualities.

[–]notthegigglestick2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Awesome article. It's well written, and explains a very important aspect of being a man. Too often people take immediate offense and completely miss the constructive portion of the criticism they receive. Which then leads them to make the same error time and time again.

Good stuff.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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