Summary: The best course of action / defense if she won't get an abortion and is becoming aggressive / militant about it is to follow the DT pathway and manipulate her, while focusing on the long game over the short.

This idea came to me while reading the excellent post on here titled "You Got a Stranger Pregnant".

That OP genuinely wanted to be a dad and he knew from day 1 abortion was not the goal, 50/50 custody was. He also mentioned about how he was 100% sure she would not go for an abortion.

Many guys in the thread were asking, what do I do if she won't an abortion? How do I convince her? How can I make her? Do I threaten to fly to Pakistan and never send money? Do I completely ignore her, do I explain to her that it's just a fetus and blah blah blah? How can I make her abort, doesn't she see how terrible it is for the kid too?!

And as you'd expect, most people said "No idiot, you can't make her abort. If she doesn't want too, you're going to be a father in the eyes of the law and you're paying up."

But there is way, given that we are talking about women. We can all agree that yes, you can manipulate women into having sex, and YES, jerk asshole types will manipulate women into all kinds of shit. So you can manipulate her into aborting if you follow a true DT pathway.

If you've talked about it and she's completely 100% adamant about not wanting to abort, this is you're best bet (which might still fail). If you haven't tried the scalpel to solve your problem, don't try this chainsaw yet.

Disclaimer: This process stemmed from your irresponsibility, never forget that. A good man will admit that and not try to destroy another person to cover his own ass. DTs are not good men; they engineer situations where they can pawn off consequences for their actions onto others, and will not accept a negative outcome for a reason as trivial as "well, you were responsible for it."

If you want to moralfag lecture me, save it; I have no moral justifications to give. This strategy is for scheming, selfish women that want to use you - the type that would completely ruin your child. The type who do not see you as a human being. This is still not a moral justification for the below, but it's use-case - this is not the first go-to approach, but rather, what to do when you feel like there's nothing to do but sack up for a life of govt. sponsored wallet-rape.

1. Know her inside and out, know her thoroughly

First, you have to diagnose her reasoning (emotional and logical). Why is she motivated to do this? Is her age of being able to have kids waning and she's stressed it's this or nothing? Is she in love with you and thinks you will step up to be betamaxDad9000 because her kid is on the way? Does she want to juice you for your pockets? Is it for pure revenge, like she wanted a kid, and you're the stud that pumped and dumped her and she hates you for it, so hey, it works out?

What is her motivation? What emotional leverage does she have that is compelling her? Is it religious? Is she afraid her family will kill her if she aborts?

If you do not diagnose this, you cannot properly manipulate her. DTs I've encountered always penetrate down below the surface to find out why a person is motivated to behave in certain ways, and what logical and emotion roots / buttons does a person have. If you do not know this, you are clumsy and you will probably fail.

What are her 10 biggest fears and insecurities? What are her 10 biggest hopes, dreams, and desperate wishes? If you don't know this, how can you get her to start associating the realization of her biggest fears / insecurities with carrying the baby, and her biggest hopes, dreams, and desperate wishes with abortion?

2. Be adaptable. Build up different future outcomes in her mind.

As you discover more about her and what she responds to, always be willing to abandon a non-productive strategy for a productive strategy. Do not get sunk-cost fallacy'd here - if you sank 100 hours into trying to logically convince her this is career suicide, and that train isn't getting you anywhere, do not invest 101; hit the new angle and abandon the old.

You want to build towards her deeply understanding and dreading 3 certainties that come with carrying the child:

A) She is going to be so alone and so miserable, her family will hate her, her friends will not hang out with her, she will be undesirable to men, no more dates, no more parties.

B) Her kid will live a shitty life and you will desert her, she will never have any support or help from you, you will go nuclear, you'd burn your money before you gave it to her. Her own child will be ashamed of her and think of her one day as just a whore who was knocked up. You would rather die than bring a kid into the world like that, and if she was selfless, she would feel that way too.

C) But, you do feel something for her and you think that the two of you could have a future. You think one day it could work out between the two of you in some beautiful future (that you have to create for her based on #1, her dreams and desperate wishes), and you feel like it can happen. But of course, that all vanishes if she carries the child.

3. The Abuser's Playbook - isolate & crush self esteem.

On a deeper level, you have to crush self-esteem to the point where she does not believe she would be a good mother, and she believes she herself is not worthy of having the kid. Isolate her from her family and friends - tell her they will judge her and be ashamed if they find out. You have to cut her from her support systems that could tell her "well, fuck that guy, just have the baby and take his money, don't worry honey you got this, girl power!"

You cannot frame it as "I am ordering you to do this" because then they get all "well fuck you I'm a strong independent women and I will raise this kid all on my own in a house you've financed with babysitters you'll pay for, and I'll tell the kid you're a piece of shit, and there's nothing you can do about it."

You have to act like you LOVE her and care about her, and you want whats best for her. Google "how to boil frogs" - you must slowly up her self-doubts and slowly create this vision of who she will be. Take what's most important to her (so, her lifestyle, her family, her friends, her body) and descriptively show her how they will turn on her and get ruined. You want her to reach her potential, to become something great, to write that novel or graduate med school. You can hear parents now - one sister went to Harvard med, one sister got knocked up and has stretchmarks on her belly at age 22. Think of the shame they will feel, etc.

Use her failures against her. How could she be responsible enough to be a mother. Last year she couldn't even put the time in to study for the GRE. Her dog died because she left it's gate open and it got run over. You have been collecting info, leverage it to sunder her self esteem to the point where she does not think she can care for a child. This is hard; magazines and TV make motherhood look glamorous and fun. Talk about depression, about how mothers with a history of BPD or depression or OCD will often feel violent urges towards the baby. Convince her she would be irrevocably scarring a child by having it.

You HAVE to intersperse this with caring about her and talking about how much you are developing real feelings for her. You have to give positive reactions to her compliant or good behaviors. This is emotional abuse, do not get it twisted; you are trying to make her doubt her ability to do anything without your leadership and your approval.

4. The One Thing She Wants More Than a Baby

If she's still fighting you on going to the abortion clinic, you play the ultimate DT card.

Remember, you've been emotionally bonding with her as part of this process in order to build a connection, learn everything about her (fears and dreams and buttons and insecurities), and keep her close and isolated.

You convince her that you want to have a real future with her and you think she might be the one. (She is very emotional, wrecked, and hormonal - she is looking for a branch to cling onto for salvation). You tell her that one day, she'll graduate med school and you'll be a big so and so at your firm, and on that beautiful day, you'll take her hand and you'll have a child with her. You want that future with her so badly it's splitting you inside, and you know that you can take her there, but you just can't do it if she doesn't abort this one. If she wants that future, that beautiful American dream on the horizon, it's there, it's hers, she just has to be strong enough to make a decision for the family that she will ONE DAY create.

You can even propose. Buy a ring from costco. Tell her she'll be yours, you'll take care of her, you'll have as many kids with her as she wants, but not now, not when you and her could not provide a good life.

To get what you want out of her, you are going to give her the ONE other thing that she has been dreaming of since she was 8. A ring, and all that it symbolizes.

All the ups and downs, the tears and fights and yells, it's made you realize one thing. That you don't want the two of you to get lost out there in the wide world. You want her to be in your life, and you want to be in hers, but only if she will do right by you, by her, and by the future family you two can one day have. Make it convincing, act your fucking heart out, and put a ring on her. Tell her you want to get to know her and in 5 years when you two are ready for kids, you will be the best father and husband you can be. Sell it.

5. Protecting Yourself

Take her to the abortion clinic and when it's done (a lot of girls have second thoughts, see it through), take her back to her place, and take the ring back to get it sized right. Text her that you're glad she's OK, and you'll be back to visit soon if she wants you too. Have her confirm that she wants you to come over. Get one of her family or friends to go to her and watch her; explain that the two of you mutually decided to have an abortion, and you are worried for her mental state. If she kills herself, you could potentially be fucked. Call the girl and explain that you want nothing to do with her, she should not call or attempt to visit you, and you will proceed with legal action should she attempt to be a factor in your life in any way.

This is basically the only way if she's completely 100% wanting the baby. You have to be willing to deeply, methodically, and patiently manipulate her. You gotta boil a frog.

And it can fail even if you do everything perfectly. If you cannot stomach the thought of doing all of this only to have it fail back to square one, that's fine. Pay the CS, be a daddy. But if you truly value your own interests head and shoulders above anyone else's - aka you have a level of selfishness that's off the charts and you are comfortable manipulating people to get what you want, then this is the long game that will eventually break down her will.

*TLDR/lesson learned: If you are truly DT, you can have a good chance of getting her to abort even if she's originally completely against it. But you have to play the long game and be willing to sink to any low. You must truly assume formlessness and modify your strategy based on what you see getting results and what doesn't. One can spend their whole life analyzing DT behavior in a sandbox, but when you go through a process like this, it will actually kill or severely cripple certain parts of you. You have to accept that as the price, and this is why you'll only get through this process if you are really, really compelled and motivated to not lose this war at all costs.

After all, this other than biology is a big part of why women win these alimony / CS / baby / etc battles. They are willing to go nuclear and burn your whole life if it suits them, but you are not willing to do the same. She is not a DT, but she is impelled by biology, hormones, media, friends, and her hamster to be effectively DT at least in terms of how she sees you. If you do not match that, you will be submitted to her agenda. It's that simple, there has to be a victor, and it's not going to be you unless you are willing to go to depths that she cannot imagine you would go to.*