Arm Candy – Do men want hot women for personal and peer validation?

AlphaXpipubs · 2015-01-23T19:06:48+00:00

Great question. I don't think about her as arm candy, however I am very aware of how people will judge her.

Personally, when I see an normal guy dating a larger woman I can't help but make a mental note that the guy doesn't value himself. It is also a clear indicator that we aren't going to be friends.

When I see a man dating 1-2 notches above his perceived value I see a man that has likely spent a lot of time learning game.

I know girls do not date their equal, they always date above their self imposed value, so if we think he is 1-2 points below her, you can be sure she sees him 1 or more above her.

http://www.pipubs.com/she-is-not-your-equal-and-she-doesnt-want-to-be/

cock_pussy_up · 2015-01-23T19:37:01+00:00

Yes, some men do want hot women as status symbols to show off.
Men's SMV is different from women's SMV. So its hard to judge a man's SMV just by looking at him. In general, if a woman is willing to be with a man, that means he has something that makes his SMV equal to, or higher than hers..

SwagYoloJesus · 2015-01-23T20:52:55+00:00

Well, mainly it is for my validation. Don't we all feel better about ourselves when an attractive women is hanging off you? Now I'm not a bad looking man by any stretch of the imagination, aside from the fact that I'm 5 feet tall.

Know what? My wife is a foot taller then me, skinny, blond hair, loves to wear heels. She looks fucking gorgeous. If I was more unsure of myself or if I was the same guy who put the pussy on a pedistal in high school, I would consider herself out of my league.

Except she's not. She gets off on my confidence because a tall women being with a shorter man makes her feel like a goddamn model, being that we generate a lot of looks in public. But since we own that shit, she fucking loves it. As for me, I know I get looks when I'm out in public. Hell, I might see a couple of guys openly oogle my girl in front of me.

Do I get defensive? Fuck no. Because she's with me. I don't need external validation but goddamn if it doesn't feel good. Nobody wants to feel like they are settling for the partner they are with.

I don't give too much head space on how my "status" might improve with other men. If I was the type of person who was pre-occupied by other men and the company they keep, I would have such shitty self confidence due to the fact that most guys are taller then their girls. If I took my cues from that bullshit, I would be in trouble.

I don't think her SMV is actually higher then mine, and in fact in public I think my SMV is still higher then hers. Also, aren't "external factors" such as wealth part of the SMV to begin with? If I'm fucking short but I make up for it by being well dressed and I show my girl a good time... are those external factors separate from my SMV?

ETH_Zurich · 2015-01-23T20:17:00+00:00

Marrying a fat girl is like suicide; it's taking the easy way out

Claude_Reborn · 2015-01-23T20:27:45+00:00

Arm candy is kind of nice. I do enjoy having a sexy woman on my arm but it's secondary.

I much prefer it when she is on my dick.

FunAndFreedom · 2015-01-24T03:52:06+00:00

Arm candy is impressive to your peers at 20, but at 30+ if you want to impress the people in your social circle you need to have a girl who is also socially literate.

NO ONE is impressed with you scoring a hot girl when you have income in two standard deviations above the average. You will get the "Gold digger" barbs constantly. We have all seen the guy who gets divorced raped by those types. Best case is that she annoys the hell out of everyone with her stupidity.

What diffuses those barbs is if the girl can present herself properly. If the girl can hold her own "frame", it means people aren't annoyed by her presence. If you have a girl who is hot and can also hold frame it means you get validation from your social circle, if that's important to you.

2015-01-24T06:56:16+00:00

with women always flip what they say to find the truth, in this case women call the successful hypergamists "arm candy", this shows you how much they pride themselves on the man they are hanging off of. it is the man who is the arm candy for the woman

Redpillchapters · 2015-01-23T20:42:56+00:00

Yes, just like the friends you have and the stuff you own, the women you get are the reflection of you. By now, TRP knows that high SMV women will rarely if ever go for low SMV men. The hot blonde at the bar with the nice rack is not going to go for the chubby nerd, she is going to pick the handsome jock. Not only does having a hot girl in your life remind you of how great you are, it reminds society of how amazing you are and makes everyone curious of you because most men will not get this privilege.

As a matter of fact, it can impact a guy's life in so many ways. One of my good friends is a Korean American male with average looks (kinda looks like John Cho), his fiance is a woman of Swedish heritage. The woman is tall, blonde, pretty face, and has an amazing body, literally turns heads everywhere she goes. By the virtue of being with this woman, so many doors have opened for my friend. My friend has been called to going to country clubs from some of the guys that see him out and so many guys try hard to get him in their circles because of his wife. Asian women that won't even touch Asian men are crazy for my friend, they talk about him so much because he has one of the hottest women in the area around his arms.

I feel good for my friend but others are quite jealous to see an Asian guy with this drop dead gorgeous blonde bombshell around his arm. Men secretly hate him, one time this latino tried to aggressively force himself on my friend's fiance and when rejected he resorted to using racial slurs. The other time, this Asian girl went off on my friend for no reason because he was with his girlfriend.

trpSenator · 2015-01-23T19:50:17+00:00

I know I do, to a degree. If I'm only able to date and be with chubby chicks, then I see that as a reflection of where I stand in society - I must be low value. But when I'm bringing in hoards of cuties, I feel like I've made it to a higher rank.

Maybe it's just me, which I don't think it is, but I do see this reflection in my personal life. When I'm with an amazing company, making good money, feeling on top of the world, I'm also bringing in dimes. When I'm unemployed, feeling behind in life, I'm bringing in pennies.

So yeah, I use my success with women as a metric.

loin_fruit · 2015-01-23T21:27:23+00:00

Before trp I always assumed that if the guy was a lower smv than the woman, that he must have money.

Now since taking trp I am more open minded when I see people together. I look at the man and if I see he has lack of charisma, slouches over, or he's well reserved but in a beta way, I assume he's got money.

If the guy is clearly alpha I know that it's game and looks that got him the woman, and maybe money.

LeGrandDiableBlanc · 2015-01-23T22:05:47+00:00

I would say that I keep a girl as arm candy to impress myself, not other men.

Zanford · 2015-01-23T23:16:15+00:00

When I was younger, I cared about arm candy more. I suspect it wasn't age per se, but being stuck in one close social group (school peers) where reputation follows you for YEARS. I knew about preselection on some instictive, subconscious level, so I wanted girls to know I was with hot girls (and I courted a certain amount of jealousy / dread game out of instinct, w/o understanding the ev pysch).

For the most part, tho, when women talk about men wanting arm candy / trophy wives, they are GENDER PROJECTING. Women want the handbag or man that makes their friends jealous, so they assume we are like that too.

Summertime_Dimes · 2015-01-23T23:50:47+00:00

I only go out in public with a good looking woman. My philosophy is, if she wants to be invited places with a man, she should work hard to look as good as possible.

I am less concerned about being perceived as having higher status with a hot girl than I am about being perceived as having lower status because I am with an ugly one.

It used to make me jealous when I would see a dude with a woman that was much hotter. Now, I think, "hell yes bro" - he is either paid, swinging a giant dick, or has game (or some combination thereof). There are enough hot girls going around.

I think shaming down apex dudes is pretty common place. I ignore that shit because it is stupid, but cringe when I see other good guys go into defensive beta mode. I had a girl call me and a friend out because saying "chick" was sexist. My friend immediately started apologizing. One of my bosses jumped in on HER side. I was like, "you all are wrong. I say dude and I say chick. Both are fine. I'm not gonna sit here and let some broad tell me I'm sexist because of my word choices." My boss spit out his drink and the chick started laughing hysterically. Later the boss was like, dude I thought she was going to hit you and instead she was charmed. Fuck em.

PlusGoody · 2015-01-24T14:17:27+00:00

OP, your framing of this question is terrible. Wealth and fame are not "external factors" -- they are core parts of someone's identity and status in life.

A good-looking, smart and gracious woman by your side is EVIDENCE of your status, not a contributor to it. When you're standing on the summit of one of life's most important mountains, it's obvious that you know how to climb.

A good-looking woman who is dim or classless probably detracts from your social status. Maybe it shouldn't -- because hot is hot, after all -- but the reality is that women and Blue Pill men, which is most people in total, will look down on you for it.

What about a smart and gracious woman who is also ugly? Red Pill men of course will think that you flunked a very important test -- not because bad-looking smart and gracious woman are not worthwhile, but because there are so many good-looking women out there, no need to settle. However, the hamster assures that women and Blue Pill men will also think the less of you, although they might not admit why to themselves.

superyay · 2015-01-24T15:19:11+00:00

Is it weird to say, I typically don't give a shit?

RedHeimdall · 2015-01-24T18:41:41+00:00

I suppose the reluctant Machiavellian part of my mind does give a little thought to the reaction of other guys seeing me with an attractive female, but not much thought.

First of all, my evaluation of her attractiveness is pretty objective. I'm not going to think she's hotter if I see other guys ogling her, and I'm not going to think she's uglier if I see other guys ignoring her. I do think it's female projection to ascribe subjective evaluation to male thinking. 2 + 2 = 4 and that fact remains even if everybody in the room thinks it's 3 or 5. Women are comfortable with subjectivity. Men should be in, or striving for, objectivity.

Secondly, my primary reason for being with her is that I find her attractive. Any thought to what other people might think is a distant secondary consideration. And even then when I do consider the reactions of others, I'm thinking mostly about the reactions of other females. I'm thinking how preselection and social proof will raise my stock in the eyes of other girls, much less do I care about what other dudes are thinking.

When I see a guy with a girl who is significantly better looking than him (I assume we're talking primarily about looks here), I naturally assume either the guy has status (musician, surfer, frat, etc.) or the guy has money. In my gut, I don't like it, it doesn't feel right. Although I myself have benefitted from the status bump in the past. And this feeling may largely be me assuming females should judge the opposite sex the way I do: on looks primarily.

However, I do think there's more to it. We know chicks dig money and status, but I can't shake the feeling that looks are the gold standard. If a girl is into you for your looks, you know you're in alpha fucks territory, which is where I assume we all want to be. If she's into you for your money and/or status, the picture is not so clear.

I hear all the time on here how money and status can raise your SMV while still keeping you in AF land, but at what point do you end up in beta-bucks-ville if your looks are significantly lower than hers? If she only wants you for your money, that's kinda the definition of BB right?

It seems to me that money and status can make you more attractive to a girl as AF if and only if your looks are in the ballpark of hers, i.e. no worse than a little lower. If your looks are significantly lower, she's basically rating you a zero in that category. And if she's only into your money and/or status, that gets dangerously close to BB territory to me. And dangerously close to her being a straight up whore and you being her john. Which may be fine, but it needs to be recognized and acknowledged.

2015-01-23T19:41:22+00:00

Citing your example... it depends. Either he's beta bucks or a man with game. If you watch them interact, you'll know what's up.

lxnarratorxl · 2015-01-23T22:05:12+00:00

When I am at a work function like a holiday party or something like that, my date becomes part of my image to my colleagues and her attractiveness is part of that but so his her personality and ability to interact with people.

mrp3anut · 2015-01-23T23:43:44+00:00

I think a Low SMV woman with a guy is an indication of how he views the world but only in certain cases can you be sure of what it is actually indicating. Once she is close to his SMV i wouldn't say it means much though.

Lets say Joe is an 8. If he is with a land whale the safe bet is that he has low self worth, beta, etc

If he is with a 4 that isnt a land whale then i dont think you can say much. Could be the same as above or maybe she is jsut a freak in bed and he likes it, has girl game locked down etc

Any girl 6 and above is equal in my eyes for him.

Granted all of this goes out the window is she is a total skank, single mom etc.

2015-01-24T00:30:12+00:00

If someone is with someone else of a different SMV (in either direction) I have always assumed that something weird was afoot (she's broken, he's rich, hooker, BP guy, etc.) I do care (as everyone should) about how I am perceived by my peers, but I also know that this is one thing that can't be faked.

So the answer is no, I do not want a woman for validation. I want validation for the women that that would bring (as well as every other reward).

thegr8b8m8 · 2015-01-24T00:32:15+00:00

I think that yes it matters to me and that's nice and all. However I intentionally married 2 notches down from my SMV. My theory on this is that hopefully it will stay a good marriage this way without my wife feeling like she needs to destroy the marriage to go find someone better. It's worked for 5 years so far. Could blow up tomorrow though I'm under no illusions.

improvy · 2015-01-24T00:35:53+00:00

do you think any better of him or do you presume the imbalance is due to some other external factor (such as wealth or fame)?

Well, I would assume that for most people, "external factor (such as wealth or fame)" = Think better of him.

MattyAnon · 2015-01-24T10:30:44+00:00

do you give any headspace at all to considering how your status might improve with other men if you’re seen with a hot woman?

Yes. It's not my primary motivation, but the bro-respect is nice. I've even done "oh... my friend is coming... talk to some chicks quickly". And yes, I do know everything that's wrong with this picture :)

When you see a guy ... 1-2 SMV degrees lower than the woman ... do you think any better of him

Yes, even if it's because of wealth or fame.

HalfPastTuna · 2015-01-24T14:36:55+00:00

Validation and social standing is one of the reasons why men and women want attractive partners.

R_E_D_1 · 2015-01-24T02:02:33+00:00

As been said several times in this very thread, arm candy is a sexual strategy like any other. And both sexes use each other to raise their perceived SMV at all times. Anyone who thinks otherwise just isn't aware that the exchange is going down. Doesn't mean it isn't.

Title	Arm Candy – Do men want hot women for personal and peer validation?
Author	Rollo-Tomassi
Upvotes	62
Comments	45
Date	January 23, 2015 6:52 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2tfhm6/arm_candy_do_men_want_hot_women_for_personal_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/arm-candy-do-men-want-hot-women-for-personal-and.28274 https://theredarchive.com/post/28274