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Attention -- All rapists and misogynists: Where do I hide the body? Alphas only.

February 24, 2014

EDIT: Downvoting mother fuckers... This is your God damn Senator... It's a fucking joke.

Sorry to bother you guys,

So I'm a bit of a quagmire which I'd like to start from the beginning. It all started after I got back from the gym (don't forget those squats) and was sweating testosterone. "This can't be good", I thought. I then looked down and realized that I had a raging boner which meant, due to my biological imperative, I had to go out and fuck some stupid woman. Uggggggg. So I throw some shit on -- making sure to spray myself with some pheromones, get in a cab, and eventually I arrive to some stupid bar. I got there so fast that I was the first to the door, so I opened it and let the sluts behind me go in. They thanked me, and all I could muster up was, "Thanks, it's my privilege," while giving her a wink -- she wants sum fuk. Oh and by the way, I had a full on boner this whole time. I couldn't help it. Biology.

So I walk on in after them, like le gentleman that I am and head towards the front of the venue. I arrive at the coat check and hand over my fedora and trench coat (10% cashmere). I then bow to the obvious slut handing me my return ticket and part ways -- like a gentleman.

After I get in, the crowd was obviously blue pill as fuck. Everyone was talking and pretending to have fun. LOL, those naive fools -- not a single one had a Pokemon shirt on as an edgy reference. Such losers. So I make my way to the bar, staring down at least 5 other alpha males as I make my way. No one said anything, because they were obviously afraid of my presence.

Once I make it to the bar, I sit down and open a book to entertain myself around these fucking idiots, but ended up realizing I was far too far distracted by the HB4 (soft 5) sitting next to me. She was so timid and clearly emotionally abused. Perfect; my privilege cock was so hard. So I open her with, "Hey why do you look like such a whore?" -- bitches love some negs. She was obviously confused (lol simple woman), and said, "What are you talking about?" I just responded with, "Shut up slut, you like sum dik." At this point she was under my full control. So we head out -- not forgetting my fedora at the coat check, of course.

We take the bus to my house, because my mom wouldn't let me take the car out that night, and get home around 12am. During the whole ride home she kept saying how uncomfortable she was (even though I paid for her buss ticket) so I had to grab her by the wrist to stop her from panicking -- women like male dominance and that kino.

So we eventually get off the buss 2 hours later -- thanks MOM! -- and she looks really scared but she shouldn't because I haven't let go of her wrist since we got on the buss. So I just laugh in her face, call her a bitch, and tell her that she's coming up to my room -- women love it when a man takes charge. At this point she starts resisting and pulling away. But I know better; it's just some Last Minute Resistance(LMR). So I just ensure her that I'm an alpha male and that she'll do what I say. I then slap her in the face to calm her down (with an open hand of course #gentleman), and she meekly agrees. She's so cute, so timid, and so confused on how to act around a real alpha male.

Once we get in, she starts playing with her phone trying to dial something that starts with a 9 and 1, but I'm not going to let her call some orbiter from Riverside. Not on my clock bros. So I did what I had to do and grabbed it from her to let her know that when she's with me, she's not allowed to use her phone -- BTW, soon as I did this, I swear to God I heard the other men in the building start pounding their chests. No joke.

So anyways, I now have her were I want her. LOL WOMEN ARE SO DUMB! She obviously wants some fux and has submitted to my alpha frame. However, she then tries to run for the door because she wasn't ready for this level of alpha male and probably had to get back home right away to paint her nails or some shit. But I wouldn't have it -- not with this boner. So I remind her who's the dominant frame and slap her. Unfortunately, when I slapped her I accidentally picked up a knife which lead to me accidentally slitting her throat -- yeah, total self cock block.

So now here I am on the internet trying to ask you guys, "What do I do with her body?" It's getting pretty stiff and dry and I don't think I can get any more fux in (4 times so far; even when dead she can't stop the carousel LOL womyn are sluts).

Alright, fuck, fuck... Umm... I don't know what to do when a pimp hand gets this strong. I mean, I can hear all the other alpha males pounding their chests through the walls of my apartment, but they aren't actually helping. Also, I have this raging boner because of my alpha. I'm just confused and am not sure what to do next -- other than give her corpse one last good pipe, which I plan on doing out of respect.

More specifically, is there anyone in Socal, Huntington Beach, near 7th and Main that wants to help me move this dumb inferior body? I can't simply dump it in the water because it'll wash up on shore. We need a boat or something to get her out real deep. I'll even let you fuck her before dumping her. Anyone?

This is obviously satire. NSA, please go away. Unless, of course, you want to take a round on her too. She's still kinda warm.

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Post Information
Title Attention -- All rapists and misogynists: Where do I hide the body? Alphas only.
Author puaSenator
Upvotes 94
Comments 36
Date February 24, 2014 4:28 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/attention-all-rapists-and-misogynists-where-do-i.11758
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1yrlq8/attention_all_rapists_and_misogynists_where_do_i/

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper60 points61 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Why would you bother to move the body? Just call the Secret Patriarchy Hotline and tell them to make sure you don't get into any trouble.

Life is easy when all the other men are looking after you on account of your mutual experience of penis-ownership.

[–]puaSenator[S] 27 points28 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You just going to go go ahead and talk about the hotline like it's not underground?

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well, all the men already know.

And if any woman catches on that I'm not joking, the Patriarchy will just have her killed raped and then killed.

[–]Fitch0y9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow thanks, I visit the weekly patriarchy meetings whenever I can but I never knew that.

[–]Endorsed Contributorgekkozorz5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can confirm, I just flashed my Boys' Club ID card at the Walmart and got some discount Cheetos. Fuck yeah, Patriarchy!

[–]czworooki24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You paid for her bus ticket. Massive fuckup.

[–]RedSunBlue31 points32 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

All this effort you're putting into disposing A WOMAN'S body is so beta. Real men just leave the bodies where they lay and go their own way.

[–]puaSenator[S] 16 points17 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Shit, you're probably right. So what do I do about the smell?

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Naw dude... a real man disposes of a body Breaking Bad style.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]1mrust2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nothing, we already know you're too smart to bring a bitch back to your place instead of an abandoned warehouse.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Wow bro such short notice. I want to extract the growth hormone from her body for bodybuilding purposes. Im going to have to blend her vertibre.

[–]puaSenator[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah but at first I was teaching my how not to respect and just got carried away.

EDIT: I was drunk when I wrote this post and this reply. However, that's no excuse because I have no idea what I was trying to say when I replied to you. Let's just pretend it made sense?

[–]still_very_alive15 points16 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Taking a leaf out of GayLubeOil's book, I see. Well done.

r/TheBluePill is going to absolutely love this.

[–]puaSenator[S] 10 points11 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

GLO definitely inspired me with his piece in /r/alreadyred -- Apparently my sarcasm wasn't clear enough.

EDIT: Clearly my murder rape wasn't clear enough. The patriarchy will survive.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil20 points21 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

This is proof that Red Pill is a Taliban rape training camp and that we feminists need to censor the internet

[–]puaSenator[S] 13 points14 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I don't get why these dumb women are freaking out. It's just a tiny bit of rape. It's not like I'm advocating for the full monty.

[–]ampwyo1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

What is the "Full Monty" and how do I do it?

[–]puaSenator[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Rape then murder so she can't tattle tale on you. I know, I know, technically this is what happened here, but it was an accident. It's not the same.

[–]ampwyo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

ah, color me disapointed. I thought it might have been a euphemism for anal.

[–]angryadult0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

just the tip?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude, cleaning up after a woman like that is the task of a beta-orbiter, not an Alpha-sir like you! So here's what you do...

She's probably got a half-dozen beta-orbiters programmed into her phone, so check that for a number. Probably some guy called "D" "A" "D", or "P" "A" "P" "A", or "B" "R" "O" "T" "H" "E" "R" or some crap nickname like that. Women give their beta-orbiters the strangest nicknames.

Failing that, check her ID, and pick any number that has the same last name as her.

Anyway, call that frustrated chump and tell him that she's finally ready to put out for him. That should have him breaking up with Pinkie Pie and ready to deal with your problems in a hurry.

Then just head on back over to the bar like nothin' happened. You sir, are ALPHA AS FUCK.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I'm havin' a giggle m8

[–]puaSenator[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

U wat m8? Just stfu and snort this testosterone with me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Fuck snorting it. You afraid of needles?

[–]puaSenator[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Fuck no! I just pinned up myself(lol seriously. I'm on TRT), but thought we should take a quick bump to keep our erections going.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

In that case I'll take two!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]forgotmydamnpass4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The first post I see after clicking on that seems like it belongs here http://i.imgur.com/8G58esf.png

[–] points points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I had an account over at /feminism where I would post: Fuck Men! and see how many up votes I could get

[–]FortunateBum1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Speaking from experience, her body will be perfectly fuckable for a few weeks yet. Don't hurry to get rid of her.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Was going to downvote until I saw your username. Well played, sir.

[–]puaSenator[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Winky smile

[–]spikeminor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Is it wrong that I got a raging boner from this?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link


You're supposed to chop the body into pieces, put them in zip loc bags and freeze them.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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