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Attitude - It doesn't even matter if you're right

August 27, 2015

TL:DR - A "dating coach" - and I use the term loosely - attacks the red pill attitude and suggests it will not bring success with women. Even when we assume he's right... he's still proven wrong on his own terms. This highlights a good point on attitude for both dating and general life which everyone can benefit from - maximising positives and minimising negatives, regardless of whether you're right or wrong.

Recently I was reading a piece, linked through another post on TRP - by Andrew of therulesrevisited dot com, - which suggested that many of the men who were writing advice pieces in the manosphere were "bad with women." Moreso that this was demonstrated by the titles they used like "The age of flakes" and "How to get rid of approach anxiety."

Now for anyone who can't understand the argument the guy is making here, (it's needlessly unclear) it's based upon an assumption. It dismisses the idea that women are at fault, naturally. Instead it suggests that a man being flaked on shows that he is not as attractive as he thinks he is. That the man suffering approach anxiety is either aiming too high or is getting the anxiety because he's been rejected often (read: he's not as attractive as he thinks and should re-evaluate the hotness of women he is approaching.)

While I can hear the collective "fuck that" echoing across the manosphere... I'm going to say that his point is actually irrelevant. It genuinely doesn't matter if we agree or disagree with it. I want to do this to demonstrate a deeper point on good attitude applied to both game and real life. So to do this, let's assume that he's right and we'll use me as an example. I've had my attitude reviewed as almost ideal before by some veterans of TRP and my opening piece of the TRP Field Toolkit on basic game attitude was stickied for almost a week. I am successful with women... but whether that's the truth or whether you want to doubt it is irrelevant in this case because we're going to assume that he was right. We'll assume that my previously having (and sometimes still having a hint of) approach anxiety combined with having been flaked on, demonstrate that I'm a failure with women. The attitude that I preach to others should not be preached.

So why, you ask, should I continue to adopt an attitude which leads to failure with women? I'm just going to demonstrate through their own logic of what will work... why the idea that my attitude won't work is patently absurd. One universal truth across all dating advice inside and outside of the manosphere is that women love a confident man. It's also agreed, even in blue pill land, that women universally like positive/happy men. Men who are happy to be alive and are enjoying their life. The psychological research on depression shows how people with depression tend to maximise defeats and minimise the impact of success in a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's generally accepted that the opposite is also true... really happy people tend to maximise their successes and minimise defeats. This attitude breeds not only happiness, but confidence too. (Because if you think you're generally successful when you do things... you're confident in what you're doing. In addition, the positive self-fulfilling prophecy also comes into play so you'll succeed more too.)

So when I don't give a flying fuck about that flake and dismiss her as another overly entitled bitch who is too much work to be worthy of my glorious phallus... if the goal is to have sex, then I'm minimising a failure. When I feel approach anxiety and I make the approach, only to be rejected... I say to myself "made another approach." Maximising success. Her rejection is irrelevant. In fact, my attitude includes that her decision isn't down to my own attractiveness, it's mostly down to her mood at the time, what friends were with her and her social status etc. This can be seen as rationalising... and EVEN IF IT IS, I'm minimising a failure and dismissing the ownership of that failure which in turn keeps my confidence high because what I'm doing is right. NOTE: My focus here is not on reality or truth, I take my stance because it helps keep my attitude towards maximising success and minimising failure. Objective truth is irrelevant when you do this because otherwise you could dent your confidence and happiness. You can't afford to do this because women can spot fake attitudes.

Sooner or later, that confidence and happiness level of mine is going to be found attractive by women. My attitude will be found attractive. If it isn't... then blue pill and red pill are both wrong about some of the few things they agree on! So regardless of whether I'm right about the specifics of women flaking or approach anxiety or rejections... if I hold the attitude, it will bring success.

So yes newbies, these are your lessons for the day in terms of attitude:

  • When you approach, having made the approach is the victory. The outcome is irrelevant (outcome independence, maximise positives.)

  • Early rejections made by women are part of their sexual strategy (to maximise rejections as a filtering system) and therefore irrelevant to your personal situation or your own attractiveness. They should have zero impact on your own strategy. Ignore them and move on. (Outcome independence, minimise negatives.)

  • Women flake, it's what they do. Perhaps you didn't raise your SMV high enough to keep her interest. So long as your mindset independently continues to raise your SMV then this flake is utterly irrelevant. There are far more important things going on than one woman demonstrating: at best disorganisation, at worst contempt. She has demonstrated she was unworthy of your attentions so it's actually another good thing in your life to be rid of her. (Maximise the positive, minimise the negative.)

  • Women are good at spotting fakes. They've spent their teens being far more empathic and analysing social interactions because they don't tend to do much else with their existence. Simply saying "I will adopt this attitude" is not enough to gain instant success with women. This is because many will know your bravado is fake... that you don't truly believe it and they'll look over at me and go "he knows he's the shit." Ignore the blue pill fear mongers and keep correcting yourself until you truly believe you are the second coming, and the first will be all over her face.

  • In general, having an attitude which maximises your successes and minimises your failures will make you feel happier. This is simply the opposite of the attitude adopted by those with clinical depression. This is a great attitude to have. Others will consider you quite egotistical to so easily dismiss foolishness when they spout it... but frankly, isn't your happiness more important than their words getting validation? Isn't your happiness more important than a woman's sexual strategy? (This is actually one of a few ways to adjust your cognitions that allow you to make an active choice to be happier.)

  • Have you noticed yet how my attitude towards women would be considered heresy to put all the blame on women? It's why they call it misogynistic. I call it practical. It has other benefits like keeping the pussy off the pedestal and making yourself the prize too. But for now gentlemen, be practical, and focus on making an attitude which maximises the positives and minimises the negatives. The gold standard to minimising negatives (or other people's judgements of you) is to not give a fuck. Try it... I think you'll like it.

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Post Information
Title Attitude - It doesn't even matter if you're right
Author NightwingTRP
Upvotes 52
Comments 17
Date August 27, 2015 1:02 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/attitude-it-doesnt-even-matter-if-youre-right.35892
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3ildxy/attitude_it_doesnt_even_matter_if_youre_right/
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