Summary:

As far as the family court system goes logic is discretionary and men are pretty much money pools for women to dip into with the states assistance.

Body:

I will start out by saying I Am Not A Lawyer. I never had the traits I would deem necessary to make it as a family lawyer, namely the ability to effectively ride an updraft, or the uncanny ability to get to choice bits of carrion first.

That said, I've posted about my crazy ex a while back. To recap: Her sister gladly threw her under the bus with her husband, The Cuck. He figured out that I wasn't just an orbiter, that she was alpha widowed and not a virgin when they married, lost control and physically assaulted her.

One of the last things that she had said to me many years before was that she didn't actually like The Cuck, but that she would learn to love him. So the way it unfolded was that she dropped the charges for the assault, and life went on for about a week. At that point she had nine kids, two of which arrived in the last year. The Cuck got suspicious, though, DNA tested the kids and figured out that the oldest six out of the nine kids were not his. The oldest of their kids is 26 now, and was born about four years after they married. Learn to love him? Please. You can't negotiate attraction, even with yourself. He filed for divorce, and it got ugly.

For his part, before serving her papers, he went to every divorce attorney in town and did a paid consult. Thus they had a legal relationship with him, and couldn't represent her. He then tried to dis-establish paternity, which the state we live in will allow based on DNA and even after signing the birth certificate. The trick is that it's legally possible, but family courts don't operate on anything close to reason and sanity. The family court is basically trying to figure out who is going to pay for the kids. It's not in the interest of the state to let a guy off the hook without an viable alternative to extract money from, so it's in the best interests of the guy trying to dis-establish paternity to throw someone else under the bus if he can. Guess how I got pulled into this whole mess?

So one morning a couple months ago I checked my snail mail. I got a letter from The Cuck's lawyer. He and Crazy Ex are getting divorced, DNA has proved that the kids aren't his, and would I like to come get a DNA test in case I need to go to court. I pulled my cell out, called my business lawyer, got with him and we found a good family lawyer, Who we will call Wile E. Wile E says it's probably a setup. The way the law is structured, The Cuck, is trying to legally trip someone else up either by DNA evidence or legal fuckery. So Wile E drafted a letter in legalese that told him to fuck off unless he has a court order.

So theoretically the process for that court order is that the presiding judge decides if there is merit to the claim of paternity, the mother has to initiate and consent to the testing, and then the test happens. Why does the mother have to Ok everything? Because as far as the court system is concerned mom is pretty much the uncontested proprietor of the children and may even have to be consulted in some matters when the dad wins sole custody. There's even a shaky precedent for suing for intentional paternity fraud, but guess what? Mom is pretty much exempt from that too, based on the fact that her keeping the kids around her constitutes her half of the support for the children. The Cuck, naturally, persisted. With Wile E. I gathered documentation that showed that during the window where the conception occurred I wasn't in the same country as Crazy Ex. So at this point the judge should have read it, concluded I couldn't be the dad, and shorted the whole process right there. Instead the judge just tossed it to one side and signed the order to get me tested.

Rationally, I knew the kid wasn't mine. But there is apprehension. What if someone fucks up the DNA test, something gets switched, or Crazy Ex had stored some of my jizz in her cheek pouches for later use? Your mind attacks you with any number of things that, while they are not rational, do eat away at your mind. You get a few days of that hanging on the edge sensation. In my case they were nitpicking over a phrase in one of the documents that the judge initially ignored, then picked back up later. All of this keeps building until yo get to the 'Maury Moment' of RunawayGrain: you are not the father call from the lawyer. Even when you know that you aren't responsible, it's a hell of a rush to get the all clear. Apparently they had tried to foist the kid onto a few other guys, but I guess that didn't happen either. The Cuck got an 'In the best interests of the children' speech, and is on the hook for child support.

I consulted with Wile E. about getting my court costs back, and the fact that I don't want to be bothered by any of these people again. The long and short is that we could sue for court costs, but likely even if anything were awarded it wouldn't get paid and I would be in the red anyway. As far as not being bothered, he suggested a restraining order. I mentioned I had tried this before, with no luck. Wile E said he wasn't surprised. So instead my LTR filed for the order with me as an additional party to it. So we got the orders, one for Crazy ex and one for The Cuck, no sweat. My part in this is done.

The immediate aftermath of this was that The Cuck got slammed with alimony and child support for two kids that aren't his, and three that are. The other four are already over eighteen. Logic would dictate that Crazy Ex would want him to be as productive as possible to keep those checks rolling in, but women don't use logic. Crazy Ex got an idea from being served with the restraining order, methinks. She got an order against The Cuck based on the prior incident, promptly showed up at the doctors office he worked at. He refused to leave, and she got him arrested.

Just needed to vent all this, so hopefully I can get back to business as usual.

Lessons Learned:

GET A LAWYER. If you get something from a lawyer, you need a lawyer to respond to it. I learned this from dealing with contract law, but it twice as important with family law.

You can't negotiate attraction. If someone isn't attracted to you you can't change it, if you aren't attracted to someone you can't change it. Crazy ex was pushing fifty, meaning that she only had The Cucks kids after she turned forty. Basically she didn't start producing his kids until Chad stopped coming around. She shouldn't have been having kids at all at that age, really.

If you get sucked into anything with the family court system, it isn't a matter of winning or losing, it's a matter of getting less fucked. Crazy ex sired six bastards, admitted she cheated on The Cuck, then proceeded to get a huge payday. I got to pay attorneys fees. The Cuck got child support, alimony, an arrest record, and the possibility of losing his medical license. The family courts of the US: you can't count on justice here.

Restraining orders are literally designed to be a tool to invent a charges to get someone locked up. For my part I would only do anything if one of these two came near me. The law is so broad, though, that I could simply run into one of them on the street by accident and have them locked up. In the hands of a disgruntled woman this is a nuclear bomb.

Bonus:

While in the lawyers waiting room, I overheard him conversing with another guy. His wife was trying to gain custody because he abused the kids. How did he abuse the kids? He left the bathroom door cracked while taking showers, and if they peeked in they could have seen him naked.