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Beating Infatuation (the most common form of Oneitis)

August 28, 2015
145 upvotes

Infatuation, or what people call "being in love", may not be the only form of Oneitis, but it is the most common one, and in some ways, the most dangerous.

Oscar Wilde knew, after all, that "A man can be happy with any woman so long as he does not love her". And while women protest loud and long that they wish to be loved by their man, they surely do not mean infatuation when they say love, because the behaviour which infatuation inspires in a man often inspires little but contempt in a woman.

So, while many would say that "never do this" is too simple and extreme a policy, there's no doubt that it is wiser to control it, rather than the reverse. Emotions make good servants, but cruel and tyrannical masters.

But how to avoid infatuation? The key is to understand how it occurs.

Your subconscious cannot tell the difference between fantasy and reality. That's how oneitis starts. Imagine yourself with a woman, dream of it, fantasize about it, and the primitive bits of your brain think that it is so.

This starts the process. This kind of love is heroin... literally. Endorphins. Short for endogenous morphine. Released in response to her presence. At my best guess, it's evolved to stick you together for at least until the pregnancy is done, possibly until the kid can walk.

When you're in love, you're a junkie. When you have oneitis, when you're in love with a fantasy, you're a junkie who can't get a fix.

So control your imagination. Don't imagine yourself with one particular woman. Don't fantasize about one particular woman. Don't pick one woman and fix your plans on her. Always have a few prospects in mind, or none. If you catch yourself thinking about one woman all the time, go find another to clear your head. Ideally to fuck, but even to talk to will do.

Remember that your emotions follow your imagination, and your brain cannot tell the difference between fantasy and reality. This is why visualization techniques work. Control your imagination, and you control your emotions.

A special word about ex-girlfriends: Infatuation is harder to overcome when the bond was real. But the same principle applies. If you think about her, parts of your brain think she is still there. Find someone else to think about. Do not still around obsessing. Do not fantasize revenge. Do not think about how she sees you now. Do not figure out ways to make her regret it. It no longer matters to you what she thinks. She isn't even dead to you, because corpses exist. She is a puff of smoke fading in your rearview mirror, and you're busy looking through the windshield.

Control your imagination and you control your emotions.

Whisper


If you liked this article, please don't buy me any more Reddit Gold. I have enough to last years, and Spez and Ellen Pao don't need more soy lattes. Instead, the completely optional and rather frivolous "Buy Whisper More Steroids and Send Reddit to Chapter 11 Fund" can be found at the following Bitcoin address: 1DChc2Azt3zGHbZcwBwPG42jL9B8SuktdD

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Post Information
Title Beating Infatuation (the most common form of Oneitis)
Author Whisper
Upvotes 145
Comments 57
Date August 28, 2015 7:22 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/beating-infatuation-the-most-common-form-of.35919
https://theredarchive.com/post/35919
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3ip7vv/beating_infatuation_the_most_common_form_of/
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