So wading through a lot of virgin posts, thought i'd throw out my question. I tend not to talk about this topic to people, but this seems like the community who will have the uh.. right answer.

Not a virgin, but sort of think it would have been better off if I had been! 30 now, and ive had sex three times before, one time each with three different girls. Took about two years each to actually reach that point (not of a relationship, that ive never done; just of knowing them and moving pieces on the board is what I mean, etc) In all three of these cases, for one reason or another (or maybe the same reason), I never hear from them again. They were shocked, seemingly horrified at my performance I suppose. I mean, everything worked right I guess, but yeah, no experience, understandable. However, sex to this point has been terribly unenjoyable. Oddly, my stupid brain to this day still thinks it might be a good idea to try again someday, but i'm horrified to even do it again. The whole cycle of going through all that time and work for another horrible moment is just too much to bear. The TLDR is, I want sex, but i'm terrified of the prospect of hating it anyway. Ever hear of such a thing? I see no magic lingo for that one. I'd call it broken. I'm broken! It doesn't work.. or something. Yuck.