Briffault's Law At Work.......At Work

exit_sandman · 2014-07-07T07:58:36+00:00

You did it wrong, just ask ole' Ben Franklin.

People who owe you something are actually more likely to resent you for it than being grateful. But if you want people to do you favors, just... ask them favors. Due to cognitive dissonance, they will rationalizing them helping you by assuming that you're a better friend to them than you actually are (otherwise they wouldn't support you in the first place).

Of course don't overdo it and don't make it too one-sided (because that way, people may realize they're taken advantage of), but don't assume that handing out favors left and right will do you much good, unless the people in question already are your BFFs.

subcover · 2014-07-07T05:16:19+00:00

For this kind of thing to work you have to make it known up front what it is you want in return. this is true for everyone, men and women. Everyone feels cheated when they think they got something for free and then that person starts asking for favors in return at a later date.

swallowpls · 2014-07-07T06:28:12+00:00

Should have told her your brother/sister/friend/dogwalker wanted the tickets as well and she'll have to do something as a favor for you if she herself wanted them.

Other than that, Briffault's law was inevitably going to take a corrosive, meaty crap on you for this.

VegasHostTre · 2014-07-07T11:42:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

abcd_z · 2014-07-07T08:54:13+00:00

Here’s something you can expect when dealing with another person: Any concession you make to him or her will quickly lose its value. The value of any material object you buy may go up in value over the years, but the value of services always appears to decline rapidly after you have performed those services. Power Negotiators know that, any time you make a concession to the other side in a negotiation, you should ask for a reciprocal concession right away. The favor you did the other side loses value very quickly. Two hours from now, the value of it will have diminished rapidly.

Real estate salespeople are very familiar with the principle of the declining value of services. When a seller has a problem getting rid of a property, and the real estate salesperson offers to solve that problem for a 6-percent listing fee, it doesn’t sound as though it’s an enormous amount of money.

However, the minute the realtor has performed the service by finding the buyer, then suddenly that 6 percent starts to sound like a tremendous amount of money. “Six percent. That’s $12,000!” the seller is saying. “For what? What did they do? All they did was put it in a multiple-listing service.” The realtor did much more than that to market the property and negotiate the contract, but remember the principle. The value of a service always appears to diminish rapidly after you have performed that service.

I’m sure you’ve experienced that, haven’t you? A person with whom you do a small amount of business has called you. He’s in a state of panic because the supplier from whom they get the bulk of their business has let them down on a shipment. Now their entire assembly line has to shut down tomorrow unless you can work miracles and get a shipment to them first thing in the morning. Sound familiar? So you work all day and through the night, rescheduling shipments all over the place. Against all odds, you’re able to get a shipment there just in time for the assembly line to keep operating. You even show up at their plant and personally supervise the unloading of the shipment, and the buyer loves you for it. He comes down to the dock, where you are triumphantly wiping the dirt off your hands, and says, “I can’t believe you were able to do that for me. That is unbelievable service. You are absolutely incredible. Love you, love you, love you.”

So, you say, “Happy to do it for you, Joe. That’s the kind of service we can give when we have to. Don’t you think it’s time we looked at my company being your main supplier?”

He replies, “That does sound good, but I don’t have time to talk about it now because I’ve got to get over to the assembly line and be sure that it’s running smoothly. Come to my office Monday morning at ten o’clock and we’ll go over it. Better yet, come by at noon and I’ll buy you lunch. I really appreciate what you did for me. You are fantastic. Love you, love you, love you.” So all weekend long, you think to yourself “Have I got this one made. Does he owe me.” Monday rolls around, however, and negotiating with him is just as hard as ever. What went wrong? The declining value of services came into play. The value of a service always appears to decline rapidly after you have performed the service.

If you make a concession during a negotiation, get a reciprocal concession right away. Don’t wait. Don’t be sitting there thinking that because you did them a favor, they owe you and that they will make it up to you later. With all the goodwill in the world, the value of what you did goes down rapidly in their mind.

-"Secrets of Power Negotiating" by Roger Dawson, Ch. 8

vandaalen · 2014-07-07T06:48:39+00:00

The problem is that you slipped into classic nice guy mindset and tried to manipulate a person into doing something. "I do nice thing X to person y and therefore y will behave nicley towards me, because I expect them to."

Like /u/foamdust said you need to make yourself clear about what's your side of the deal about.

theredpillager · 2014-07-07T05:18:08+00:00

I feel you, man. I recently got a new female boss who is way more of a micromanager than my former boss. While I assume she'll be able to get lots of benefit out of me in that she is my superior and she needs my efforts to succeed herself, my main interest in TRP right now is in improving my work situation and relationships. I hope to subtly or even not so subtly use TRP theory to establish boundaries and rules in my work relationship with her in particular and others as necessary.

johnnight · 2014-07-07T17:27:43+00:00

Male hunters understand reciprocal altruism. Women understand beta male gifts.

JungerianStoic · 2014-07-07T10:29:28+00:00

I'm in the midst of this right now...

Several months ago I lent a long-term F buddy a large sum of money (not for me, but for most people) so that she could meet a deadline for a trip she'd been wanting to take for quite a while now. I've never put this girl on a pedestal. We're just friends who bang now and then, and I thought I'd do her a solid helping her out. Well, her months-long trip came and went, and she's now back stateside. Not only has she not contacted me about paying me back, but she hasn't even asked me how I'm doing. The kicker? I'm deployed to a combat zone, and I'm out on missions outside the wire on a regular basis. I didn't expect any special favors from this girl, but I guess I was wrong in assuming she would at least show some token gratitude and concern for my well-being.

And for the comments saying the woman at the center of OP's post is an exceptional "cunt"...I've been with quite a few women, and this is one of the few women I've banged that I've actually befriended over the years. I'm not one for absolutes, but this experience definitely pulls me in the AWALT direction.

...And no, I'm not that stupid. I'm on good terms with this girl's well off mother. Worst case scenario I'd jut hit her up for my money.

CrimsonIgloo · 2014-07-07T08:49:09+00:00

This is classic 'Nice Guy Syndrome'.

A silent agreement was set in place by yourself expecting her to fulfil the other end of the deal when you required it. When she didn't live up to it, you feel cheated and when she was confronted about getting something for free from you she feels pissed off because she doesn't have the full control over you she thought she had. It was a shit test from her, seeing if she could get something from you with no strings attached. But you had one there she didn't' know about and gave it a tug.

To avoid this in future, make your intentions known. 'Here's you tickets.. You owe me one down the track though!' would of been enough.

barleymoo · 2014-07-07T13:58:52+00:00

I wonder if this lack of reciprocity on the part of women is another reason for the glass ceiling i.e. the higher you rise in the business or corporate world the more your further advancement depends on giving and receiving favours.

VegasHostTre · 2014-07-07T05:16:39+00:00

"Yesterday I asked her to help me fast track a high level client's needs. Not only did she fuck up his entire experience to the point where he may never come back, she complained about me asking her to do it to her boss."

Why did you think you needed her help?

aazav · 2014-07-07T12:11:59+00:00

I love how she finds a way to divert the blame from her and pin the blame on you for her fuckup.

When it all comes down to it, a woman will try to be as manipulative as possible and not face (or take) responsibility for her actions.

Jaereth · 2014-07-07T15:25:23+00:00

Ok this is a good thread to ask this. I have this girl at work that needs my help all the time.

Now I am kind of her mentor as I was forced to train her in a highly technical field (medical imaging).

Now she's pretty fucking helpless. She has made huge strides but there are times where I am doing way more of her work than should be allowed.

Now someone trained me so I also see it as repaying me debt to society. But it's getting pretty fucking annoying. Yes she's hot and a princess.

Now I would bang her but I'm in a LTR and she just got engaged so there doesn't seems to be anything sexual In the works for us. So I just want to distance myself without all the drama of just tellig her to fuck off.

Any ideas? She's literally cries and gets all emotional when the work load gets tough. I don't know how to handle it.

dicklord_airplane · 2014-07-07T18:40:07+00:00

when doing favors for people, i've learned that you've always got to establish that they owe you for it. otherwise, you really can't expect anything from them. how could you possibly expect anything in return if you don't establish that you expect them to return the favor? besides, showing that you demand something in return is attractive as fuck because it demonstrates self-esteem, self-respect, and competence in negotiation. it commands respect, whereas doing favors with no expectation of a return makes you look like a doormat, like someone to be used. and she did use you.

"alright i can get you those tickets, but what are you going to do for me in return?" then negotiate. "ok, you've gotta help with me my client next week."

if they still try to weasel their way out of returning the favor even after you've negotiated terms, then you've learned that he or she is a scoundrel that you don't want in your life anyway.

oldschoolmailman · 2014-07-07T18:36:31+00:00

If there is one place that TRP can help daily, it has to be in the workplace. My relationship to my females colleagues and my frustration has decreased dramatically post-swallow.

Just remember, OP- feminism hasn't changed much in the real world. In the workplace (and just about everywhere else), men are expected to be leaders, take initiative, and solve problems on their own. The second you fail in that regard is the second you will be pounced on.

dureye · 2014-07-07T08:34:13+00:00

Your were thinking of a ,"quid pro quo" and got a "quid pro nihil".

variableLt · 2014-07-07T16:15:54+00:00

I don't know and care where posters here work, but this particular event, from my experience is not limited to females only.

When I am in the similar situation at work, I, without hesitation, force my end of the bargain until I get it: I would rather be without people around me than without my end of the deal. Of course, I give the person in question a sensible amount of time for recuperation, but as soon as I can sense the time has come, I become ruthless.

People forget and more often, ignore deals which makes me irritated: and I cannot stand myself being irritated.

DrakeSaint · 2014-07-07T16:38:05+00:00

"Hey VegasHostTre, do you mind if I get two tickets for this concert? I really, really, really want to take my mom to watch it!"

"Sure, Co-worker-I'm-totally-not-interested-in-banging, I could get this in a few moments! By the way, think that next week you can help me with those future prospects? I could use a hand in this, and I really, really, really would appreaciate your help."

Counter423 · 2014-07-07T16:08:35+00:00

Lol. Wow that is messed up.

Working in offices is soul crushing enough as it is.

pleasedontknowme30 · 2014-07-07T17:46:48+00:00

Not only did she fuck up his entire experience to the point where he may never come back, she complained about me asking her to do it to her boss.

So it sounds like she did try to help, but did it poorly, and in doing it poorly, made herself look bad, which resulted in her trying to protect herself by complaining to her boss. Now, had she given the guy a good experience, and he wanted to come back...would you have written this post? Just because you did something nice for someone, doesn't mean when they do something nice back (or attempt to) it will be done to your satisfaction.

__KnighT__ · 2014-07-07T05:51:33+00:00

I disagree - I think this woman just happens to be a cunt. You are taking Briffault's Law too far. Most people - men or women - would remember your favor and return it when requested.

Title	Briffault's Law At Work.......At Work
Author	VegasHostTre
Upvotes	302
Comments	121
Date	July 7, 2014 4:34 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2a0unx/briffaults_law_at_workat_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/briffaults-law-at-workat-work.17625 https://theredarchive.com/post/17625