CorporateLand: Working With Working Women In The Modern Corporate Environment

Introduction:

Working with women in the modern corporate environment. It’s not as much fun as it used to be, for both men and women, mostly b/c of SJW thundercunts. I had a question about this a couple of weeks ago, and I expanded it into a "CorporateLand" post, for the benefit of guys who will spend at least part of their careers in CorporateLand.

Body:

There are two types of women in the office: Pre-Wall and Post-Wall.

For the Post-Wall/Mother Hen types, utilize "classic" Western chivalry. Hold doors, offer help if they are carrying something heavy, etc. They've become (or are in the process of becoming) unused to attention from men. You aren't gaming them, at all but just being helpful & nice, like your mama taught you. Like a bluepill. But you don't care about banging them, you just want them to like you, and say "He's such a nice man" and such.

Ex. Years ago, at a different gig, I happened to come into the office in the early evening as I sometimes do - nobody around to pester me, so you can get three hours of work done in an hour - and the HMFIC's admin was working on some huge project. So after just dropping by to alert her that I was on the floor--women working alone at night can be a bit jumpy -- and exchanging pleasantries, so I wouldn't scare the shit out of her accidentally, I went about my business.

As I was leaving, I noticed she was preparing what appeared to be a rather heavy box to be used at an off-site the next day, so without really thinking about it, I offered to carry it down to her car for her. Turns out it was a really heavy box, but I hoisted it on to my shoulder and off we went. Anyway, that was enough to get me onto her VIP list, and I didn't realize the extent that she had the ear of her boss, the HMFIC. Also, although I didn't know it at the time, as I was still something of a plebe at that point, she's an office politician in something of a "Griselda Blanco" kind of way, and good at rewarding her friends and punishing her enemies.

For the Pre-Wall/Baby Chick types, you want to run light game, but never give the impression that it's anything more than "in fun". Because HR doesn't have much of a sense of humor. Keep it light and fun, and stylish, not overt, and NO KINO. A lot depends on who you are. I had a former boss who was a total perv towards women in the office, but he would get away with it b/c he was a white-haired, grandpa type. You could see women doing the math in their heads and he always fell above the age line; i.e., a younger guy would have gotten nailed for it. I'm late 40s so I can easily camouflage myself as a "Kindly Uncle" {N.B. as opposed to the "Creepy Uncle; it's important} when need be. Also, at this point I've been a "known guy" at work for nearly a decade. N.B. Eventually, gramps toned it down because he didn’t want to get set adrift on an ice floe.

There are of course, exceptions. If the young chick is an SJW or otherwise psycho, maintain a perimeter, and keep interactions to a minimum.

Oh, and a final point: the young hottie types, even the marginal ones, are going to have “young hot chick privilege” rocking. They’re used to it, and they don’t want to give it up. Too many young women spend their time being Too Cool For The Universe only to arrive in their 30s, wondering where all the male attention went.

Some Sample Interactions:

I work with an older lady, in her 50s who you can tell was smoking hot back in the day, and who many guys in the office would happily bang now. Even one of the gay guys. Or so he told me. Anyway, she and I have a very friendly relationship as we're both natural extroverts, and I'm good at greasing her deals through. A lot of the younger women in the office look up to her as a role model, thus she provides me with a TON of social proof as she's very flirty, touch feely with me in social (like after hours) situations.

Similarly, I used to work with a woman named "Maria", who was well-past the Wall, had four kids and had never lost the baby weight and had packed on a bunch more besides, and likely hadn't been railed out by her hubby since the first Clinton Administration. So as it turns out, I'm a singer, and she walked into the coffee room one day while I was pouring a cup and I sang the first few bars of "Maria" from "West Side Story". Now, clearly I was just being amusing, but it did make her whole day.

Do I do this from a Machiavellian perspective? Not really. I was happy to make Maria smile, and I enjoy the sales chick's company, in addition to the social proof she provides. Life is short and work sucks. Why not have fun? And if the fun pays dividends, so much the better.

What To Do When You’re The FNG

When you're the FNG, keep your mouth shut until you learn the terrain. These things will be revealed over time. Some people leave obvious clues in the cubes/offices, others do not. Listen more than you speak, and proceed from there. Find out who is reliable and who isn’t. Avoid having a female boss if possible. If not, an older one who gets it is ok. There is a very senior lady boss where I work who I would go to war with 7 out of 7 days of the week. Why? Because she totally thinks like a dude. I’m convinced she can’t wear miniskirts because then everyone could see her balls.

The real problem is communication style. Women tend to be more obtuse and say things like "Oh whenever you get to it", when they really mean "By noon, tomorrow." So with a lady boss, emphasize clarity. Ask for specific milestones/deadlines/etc., and things will go more smoothly.

Oh, and it's not just us. You know who else prefers having a male boss? Women. More than we do. By a lot. Why? Because women understand other women, and they hate each other. And male bosses are more predictable, mood-wise, etc.

Regarding direct reports, women are going to have more problems/drama, come in later, leave earlier and take more sick days. Those are just the facts. It's part of the reason we get paid more - when we do get paid more.

From the "hire" side of the desk, I will hire old, ugly and skilled over young & big tits, because Y&BT, even if she has talent, will have DRAMA. You will wind up doing, or delegating, Y&BT's work.

Women You Will Meet At Work

The Lazy Ho’. I had a CA once who was a total pain in the ass. She'd had her last boss wrapped around her finger, and was lazy as fuck. Always agitating for more money -- she knew that the last woman who had the job before her got paid way more. Of course that woman had a shit-ton more talent.

So this chick was also rocking the 'rocker chick slut look', and she did have a nice body, but was something of a "butter face", etc. If you ask me, she needed a good scrubbing—and that vag had seen more sausage than a butcher shop.

She would complain a lot and I finally told her if she put as much effort into doing her work as she did trying to get out of it, she wouldn't have any problems. So when we hired her - it was the HMFIC's call, not mine – the Hens thought I would go easy on her, but when I didn't they were happy—because women hate other women, and, well, the CA was a lazy ho’. And when she tried to make a move on me with the Dept Chair, the Hens locked themselves into a phalanx around me, and totally had my back. Verdict: The Rebellion was CRUSHED, mercilessly. Another reason to cultivate the hens….

You are going to find some good citizens, though. You just have to understand who you're dealing with. If you think someone is a bit sketchy, leave the door to your office open or have a 3rd person present in the meeting, if possible. Or meet in a conference room, preferably the "fishbowl" kind.

The Nosey Parker Once upon a time, my department had an intern who was always nosing her way into conversations that didn’t involve her. So I took to closing the door to my office when I had the other intern, who was a chill guy, in so we could talk about sport, politics and pussy without “Little Sister” eavesdropping on everything.

Evidently, this counted as “intentionally excluding her”. Or so the chick from HR said. When she asked if I was intentionally excluding her, I said, “If you mean am I intentionally excluding her from conversations that are none of her business but that she wants to overhear because she’s nosey? Then yes, yes I am.”

So I started giving her work. And when she was done, I gave her more work. And more. Maybe she even did some of it, but I didn’t care, because it was nonsense, busy work but it made her feel important and keep her out of my way.

The Sick Girl Women take more sick days. They come in later and they leave earlier. And when they have kids, they get sicker, because, evidently, there are things called “schools” or “kindergartens” in which disease ridden children play with each other in close quarters and make sure they share all of each other’s germs. The mums bring that shit into work with them and then infect everyone else through the miracle of HVAC.

Oh, and when they are out sick or taking some child to the doctor, they will expect you to cover for them. Free. And don’t every expect the favor to be returned because of Briffault’s Law and because there will be some sort of dance recital or cub scout meeting that gets in the way.

The Girl Who Can’t Do Her Job I hate this cunt. HATE HER. I left a job over one of these. Really, it was time for me to move on to bigger and better things, but this chick Could.Not.Do.Her.Job. But she knew that I could. In fact, the extra work would have been easy for me, and would only have marginally added to my workload. She also had this fucked up idea that she could order me to do it, and when that failed, resorted to screaming. Like I’m Rumplestiltskin and I’m supposed to stay late and spin straw into gold for her…for free.

So I bailed and found a gig with fewer issues and a substantial salary bump. And when I left, I turned back a project she had managed to get her boss to assign to me (which he could, in fact, do), with a note to the effect that I was leaving the firm, and wasn’t going to get to it before I left. It involved approximately 7 thousand pages of review and I made sure to hold on to it, and then return it on the Friday before a holiday weekend. Because fuck her, that’s why. /grin

Little Miss Selfish Women will often wind up wanting something because someone else has it. Any time I hint that I’m taking a vacation week, I’ve had one co-worker consistently chime in that she was “might” take some days that week. Even if she would have just gotten back from vacation. It’s a reflexive response or something.

I’m not averse to changing up, with enough notice, i.e. before tickets are bought, and I try to avoid school vacation weeks that my co-workers might need. In one case, I flipped the week before Labor Day to the week after because school was starting or some shit, and one of my co-workers wanted to spend the last week of the summer with her kids. It wasn’t a problem, and she asked, so no biggie. But now I just take the days I take and everyone else can deal. Seniority, muthafuckas. RHIP.

The Flirt

Y’know those Attention Whores on Instagram? Yeah, well, a lot of them have jobs and you might wind up working with one. Don’t fall for her “who, me?” flirting and come-ons. She’s just looking for validation. It’s not worth your gig.

And yeah, “But lots of people bang co-workers!” I did, too. I used to have a regular thing, long ago, with an admin I worked with who pretty much had the Rear of the Year. My flat was close and she was DTF, so we’d bop over to my flat once or twice a week and have some fun, always leaving and arriving back separately. Important Point: if you must bang someone at work, pick someone with more to lose than you have. My “work plate” was engaged. There was an understanding that the Fun Would End before her wedding, and it did. Now she’s married and we both work at different places and AFAIK, her kids were all fathered by her husband, who is a TOTAL betbux. He was also worried about me, big time. She told me about it, once, after sex. So I said, "What does he have to worry about? I'm only fucking you. He can have you back when I'm done," and she giggled.

Even the "Good Girls", fellas...even the 'good' girls...

The Queen Bee - Often the admin...excuse me... executive admin for the HMFIC, such as the one I referenced when introducing the concept of the Mother Hen. She might also be the Office Manager, or another senior admin. Ex. At the place I left because of the chick who couldn't do her work and expected me to do it for her, there were two Queen Bees, neither of whom were the CEO's admin - the CEOs admin was untouchable, but didn't participate in office politics. She was sticking around to retire when the CEO did, so she could play golf full time instead of part-time. How powerful was she? She named the fucking company. So she was too busy up on Mount Olympus to be bothered.

Meanwhile down among the plebes, there was the Office Manager - she had a swankier title which I don't recall - and the admin of the 3rd or 4th ranking guy at the firm. I'd put him at #3, but depends on how you rank the General Counsel, who was a cagey guy, but more like Templeton the Rat - a survivor, for sure, but outside of the power structure. Anyway, she was Employee #4. Their battles were epic. I had a cordial relationship with the OM and was tight with the other Queen Bee, so never had a problem. On the rare occasion that I got crossed up with the OM on something, I just had the other Queen Bee take care of it, because she always loved twisting the knife.

This Is Important

Determine which are “good citizens” who can be counted on. Take care of the admins – someday you are going to need a friend. You always want to keep a positive balance in the Favor Bank.

I used to joke that, if I ever announced that I cut off my girlfriend’s head {plate, really, but not a distinction I made at work} then Suzanne {my admin} would appear with a hatbox of the appropriate size, dispose of the evidence, and never speak of it again. You can’t buy loyalty, you can only inspire it.

Conclusions

-Identify the “good citizens” and cultivate them. Reward your friends, punish your enemies.

-The Mother Hen types often have more power than is evident on the surface.

-The Baby Chick types are susceptible to game, but keep it professional.