We are a small minority of men, living in a blue pill world. A feminized world, really. Girl world. And girl world loves the topic of relationships, and when it comes to relationships, girl world is absolutely in love with two things that never work: communication and counseling. Any time you have a relationship problem, such as a woman who disrespects the hell out of you and never fucks you, the universal blue pill solution is to communicate about that, and if your communication doesn’t work, see a counselor who will tell you to communicate more. When a man and a woman sit in front of a counselor, their conversation usually goes something like this:

“My wife/girlfriend doesn’t have sex with me any more, and the few times she does, it’s reluctant. No matter what I do, she just doesn’t get into it. To top it off, she’s started nagging me to death and getting on my case about everything. Nothing I do is ever good enough. She minimizes me.”

“My husband/boyfriend doesn’t make me feel special any more. He used to take initiative and do things. Now, he doesn’t appreciate me and all he does is work at his job. I have to tell him to do anything that needs doing. I feel like his mother. And all he ever seems to want is sex.”

The counselor’s response is pretty standard, no matter what the man and woman say: They need to communicate more. Work on building emotional intimacy. And the man needs to start doing more for the woman again to help build that emotional intimacy, because his wife won’t desire him sexually unless she feels emotionally close to him again.

So for a few weeks, this unhappy couple talks and talks about their unhappiness, fixating on how unhappy they are. The man tries to do some things for the woman, maybe the woman does a few things for the man, but all of this is seen through the lens of communication and counseling – doing shit to get sex and/or just because they’re supposed to. By communicating too damn much, they’ve prevented anything from actually working. By focusing on their unhappiness and making it a central talking point, they’ve pretty much affixed it as a permanent feature of their relationship.

This shitty blue pill relationship advice doesn’t come from an evil place. Just a misguided one. Most people out there in girl world believe in true love. They don’t recognize that sex, respect, and emotional intimacy are all separate pillars of a successful relationship. They think that all three of those things are just natural extensions of one big pillar: love. That if love is present, all of these other things just grow naturally from it.

We know the opposite to be true: love is just another name we give to a relationship when all three of those pillars are present and strong. Without one (or more) of those things, there’s no love. All three of those pillars are equally important to the success of the relationship. A relationship without sex is every bit as big of a failure as a relationship with no emotional intimacy.

So in girl world, sex isn’t its own pillar of a relationship. Sex comes as this theoretical natural extension of emotional intimacy. You’re close with a person, you love each other, then sex happens. That’s a real relationship. That’s real love. So building emotional intimacy is the answer to all relationship ills, because if you want sex, there needs to be an emotional connection first. It’s unreasonable to even think that a woman would have sex with a man in the absence of an emotional connection…

But wait! Out the other side of its mouth, our modern blue pill world praises the sexual freedom of women. For the first time ever, women have the ability to go out, on birth control paid for by their employer’s insurance, and have causal sex with all kinds of men to figure themselves out. It’s practically a rite of passage. No normal woman gets married in her 20s to the first man she had sex with. That’s oppression – practically slavery.

So on one hand, it’s unreasonable to expect a woman to have sex with a husband or boyfriend that she doesn’t feel emotionally close to. On the other hand, it’s completely reasonable to expect women to have unemotional, casual sex with a few guys (or even a few dozen) before settling down.

This may seem like a contradiction, but in the minds of crazy people, this actually makes sense. For women, there are two kinds of sex: love-sex and sex-sex. To cut to the chase, let’s just call them by their accurate names: transactional sex and recreational sex. In our red pill minds, we recognize that there’s really just one kind of sex, and that it’s all transactional to an extent. After all, if a woman wants you terribly and she enjoys the sex tremendously, her dividends from that transaction are the enjoyment. If she didn’t enjoy it and wasn’t getting anything else out of it, she wouldn’t do it. Same goes for the man. Thus, a transaction.

In girl world, insisting upon emotional intimacy before sex is part of the transaction. It is essentially saying, “In exchange for sex, I require that you provide services that cause me to feel a certain way.” Counseling advising you to do so is essentially saying, “I suggest you pay her. That’s the best price you’re going to get.” The best part is that this is an open-ended transaction, facilitated by all of that communication. “I did X. Can we have sex now?” “Well…I do feel a little better, but I don’t quite feel that certain way yet. Keep working!”

Any time you approach a woman with sex on your mind, remember, sex is not some natural extension of communication. You can’t talk a woman into sex, but you can sure as hell talk a woman out of sex. Sex is its own fundamental pillar of every relationship, completely separate from emotions, or even respect. Women have sex with random hot guys all the time, with no emotional attachment, no respect. In fact, the second you become her monogamous guy and start feeding her that emotional validation and respect, it becomes harder, not easier, for her to work up the emotional strength to fuck you.

Couples that have frequent sex tend to fight less and love each other more. One might argue that love is the natural extension of sex, rather than the other way around.

So communicate less, not more, and solve your relationship problems with sex, not yapping and cuddles. Yapping and cuddles are what dogs do, and despite how much she would prefer it, you are not her dog.