TL;DR - When a girl you barely know flakes on you, it's not worth getting angry about.

This is more of an inner game post than a 'how to' dating post. There are guys here with way more dating skills than me, but I think I've got some good insight here.

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We've all been there. Talking a girl on POF for a couple of days, you've exchanged a few good cocky and funny messages, and she agrees to give you her number. Things are going well.

You text back and forth and few times, building a bit of rapport, and you ask to meet up. She agrees and you set a time and place. Cool, you've got a date. Feels pretty nice.

You follow OmLaLa's advice, avoiding any unnecessary contact before the night. You even get a bit excited.

Then the day comes and she texts you:

Heyy, really sorry but I'm really busy with work this week, can we meet up some other time?

"For fuck's sake!", you say to yourself. You feel pretty fucking angry and disappointed. I bet it'd feel pretty good to send her some ultimatum or angry response back, right?

Well yeah, it might. For all of 30 seconds. But from a game theory perspective, there's now zero outcome. All because you acted on your hurt and bruised ego.

By replying with anger, you've shown two things:

1. She can control your emotional state
2. You're more invested in this girl than vice versa

Imagine you're a guy who genuinely had several other cool women on the go, all vying for your attention. If this girl flaked on you at the last minute, would you really care that much?

If you already had something else backed up that you could do, would some silly girl's emotional anxiety bother you from your awesome life? No, you'd go out with your buddy anyway, or see if that other girl's free tonight.

No big deal.

Why girls flake

Some girls genuinely do have plans. Say her dad paid for her university tuition, including her flat. She's recently passed her final exams and her family throw an impromptu barbecue that she can't really get out of.

I hate making excuses for disrespectful girls as much as the next guy, but knowing that there may be genuine reasons for her flaking might stem your rage a bit.

Nine times out of ten though, there is no good reason.

Female behaviour is largely dictated by their present emotional state. She might have felt all warm and fuzzy texting you and organising a date, but if it's been too many days since you texted, or she's had a shit day at work, or she's had a fight with her mother, her emotional state will have completely reversed.

Particularly if you met online, you don't really exist to her until you've met in person. Her mental picture of you is largely dependent on how she feels while you're interacting with each other. Text game is important with this in mind. Take at least as long to respond as she does.

Nowadays, girls are allowed to run around acting without any consequences, and their handheld validation dispensers, more commonly known as smartphones, provide them with a constant stream of attention.

So it's likely that she didn't think anything at all of flaking on you. Girls are safety-oriented, and she carefully assessed that flaking on you while dangling some vague hope of a future meeting allowed her to bank in some future attention and validation from you.

For her, the desirable outcome is positive male attention. For you, it's a tangible physical outcome. You want to meet up with her, have fun, and eventually sleep together. She has no such need for physical outcomes from this. You giving her validation is enough.

How you should act

You're probably feeling pretty pissed off and disappointed after she flaked on you. "Fucking girls right? They talk to you for days, and then fucking flake out of nowhere! I've got a great body, I'm smart, I've got a job, damnit! Arrrgghhh."

That's your ego talking. Yeah, anger is a legitimate response to being disrespected by some inconsiderate bitch. But striking her back with a text full of righteous fury and logic won't really achieve anything for you. Now you have no date.

Put the phone down, breathe, and remember it's no big deal. Deal with this like any other shit test:

1. Ignore her. You can cut off all contact. This is usually the best response if she's flaked without any prior notice at all, or if you've just lost your patience with the bitch. Next.
2. Reply with cool indifference. "Alright, no biggie. Have fun x". A good response if she's bailed with prior notice and it's the first time. Text again the day after the date was scheduled and go from there. Might be a good time to 'reset' and refresh the cocky and funny again.

If you choose route two you can see if she's up for another date. You can and probably should later bust her balls for bailing the previous night, teasingly "oh right you're one of those girls". Your indifference may intrigue her and renew her interest in you, or she may not give a shit at all. Either way, don't let it affect you.

It's all very well just ignoring the bitch. By flaking, she's sent you a clear indicator of her future behaviour. But this can be a bit of a pivotal point. If you feel like giving it another shot, go into it with a cool and indifferent mindset, not with rage and disappointment.

Shit test passed.