This subreddit, like much of the internet, often becomes an exercise in overthinking and mental masturbation. And yes, I am guilty of it too. But we should all take a step back and remember:

An attractive man does whatever the fuck he wants. He says whatever pops into his head, he goes down whatever path he thinks will be most interesting and fun, and he does not give a single solitary fuck what anybody thinks. And not only are women ok with that, they actually like it. Most people, and especially women, live in a mental prison where they feel like they are afraid to be themselves, so seeing somebody enjoy themselves without giving a fuck is thrilling.

A “natural” alpha does not sit in his mom’s basement memorizing a bunch of scripts or long rules of dos and don’ts. He just says and does the right thing in every moment and he ends up smashing some broad at the end of the night, and he usually couldn’t even tell you what he did to successfully smash.

Unfortunately, however, most of us are not “natural” alphas. We were trained to be needy, operate in womens’ frame, and to overthink our every move. The best thing you can get out of this subreddit is to 1) understand that you, like every man, have these tendencies, and 2) you should build yourself up to avoid falling into these traps, so that you can 3) get back to the point where you can do whatever the fuck you want.

In other words, you should look at the pick-up literature as a series of “fences” around your behavior. You can do whatever the fuck you want, so long as you stay within these guidelines:

1) Take the lead and take responsibility for the interaction.

Sorry, you just cannot depend on the woman to take the lead. You must be creative, smart, and funny to find some subject matter that is interesting and emotionally resonates with her. Ultimately she needs to contribute something to merit your attention, but the responsibility to make the interaction fun and interesting is on you. This requires practice.

2) Maintain your frame and your integrity.

“Frame” is a complicated concept, but it essentially means “the rules that govern the interaction.” If you find yourself worried about whether you are conforming to her “rules” then you live in her frame, which will cause her to lose attraction. Ultimately you decide what is right and wrong, fun and not fun, cool and stupid, and she should feel worried she might not stack up. Of course, this means that 1) you must have rules and 2) your rules should not suck. Unfortunately, figuring out what your rules are requires thinking.

By “integrity” I mean “don’t sacrifice what it means to be you.” Don’t change your rules or boundaries based on what she wants. Don’t change your opinions to match hers or pretend to enjoy something that sucks. If she is being boring, stupid, or insulting, put an end to that shit. Women are constantly testing your integrity, and the moment she realizes you are sacrificing your beliefs, boundaries, opinions, or fun for her (or anybody else), she loses attraction.

3) Don’t be wanty

Wantiness is when you ask her for anything or do anything to display you want something from her. If you stare at her too long, tell a boring ass story about something she doesn’t give a fuck about, brag, or do any other selfish shit, you are being wanty because you are subconsciously communicating that you need her validation, attention, and acceptance. When a woman realizes you want something from her she immediately wants to flee because she feels pressure to perform.

Wantiness comes from ego and scarcity mentality. Part of our psyche wants to have fun, but a different part of our psyche is often afraid we are going to die in the jungle alone with no pussy, so it causes us to act foolish. But if you had no scarcity, you could just act normal and let the fun part of your psyche take over.

There is one exception to this rule: You can ask for her stuff after she has emotionally invested enough in you to WANT to give you that thing anyway. For example, if you have been talking to a woman for 45 minutes and she wants to continue to hang out with you, you can say “hey want to go to the next bar with me”? If the women is emotionally invested in you, you asking that question doesn’t feel like wantiness to her - instead, it feels like you are accommodating her wantiness. But if she does not give a fuck about you yet and you ask her to go to another bar with her, she will interpret your question as wantiness.

4) Don’t do more for her than she has done for you.

Humans evolved to view relationships as reciprocal transactions, so when you do stuff for her she hasn’t deserved, her subconscious mind senses that something is “off” and wants to get away because it now realizes that she owes you. Do not do anything for her that she has not done for you first, including giving her attention, and only in proportion to what she has done for you. Unless she has done something to deserve it, do not buy her anything, run any errands for her, be her therapist, be her emotional tampon, wait for her, and so forth. Doing too much for women is the same thing as being wanty: men do things women don’t deserve because they are seeking their validation.

5) Have fun.

Having fun means you are curiously pursuing whatever is fun, funny, interesting, or exciting at any particular moment with no regard to what anybody thinks. Life is short, you should be enjoying it. No woman ever decided to not fuck a guy because he was having too much fun. Just don’t be a jerk.

There was a great book a few years called the Book of Pook, and it was basically about how men learn to remember how it was to be a child again. Children just go after whatever they think is fun without worrying about pleasing or being censored by women. If you can somehow recapture that, you will be attractive to women.

http://www.woujo.com