Dopamine Decoded: The Five Most Toxic Habits (Part 2)

May 22, 2017

In this installment of the series, I will go through:

  • The 5 most toxic neurothrills we indulge in on a daily basis and what makes them particularly harmful.

  • Actionable advice to help you get started.

I will try to keep this post as succinct as possible, while giving you the information you need, in order to critically analyze your daily habits, and see which activities have been promoting disordered functioning of your dopamine receptors.

If you missed Part 1 of the series, be sure to read it--, to get a good basis of the theory of dopamine abuse in the modern world and its repercussions.

Without further adieu, let’s begin.

1) Porn

When it comes to the most commonly abused source of instant gratification, hardcore pornography takes the cake. Unlike certain foods or drugs, there simply isn’t a limit to how much one can consume per day. This, in conjunction with the fact that there are endless possibilities for new, novel stimuli in the form of extreme genres and fetishes, makes internet porn a slippery slope for most people. It’s not uncommon for many to progressively degenerate into more extreme forms of porn to elicit a higher dopamine response, just to get the feeling of pleasure that they felt the first time they ever watched it.

Porn also has certain physical repercussions, namely, its contribution to porn induced erectile dysfunction (PIED). Dopamine plays the role of signalling your hypothalamus to send a nerve impulse down the spinal cord towards the genitalia in order to achieve physical arousal. When one’s dopamine receptors fail to become sufficiently stimulated in response to normal sexual stimuli, he will have trouble maintaining an erection outside of the extreme forms of porn that he has progressively conditioned his brain to require.

To add to these physiological consequences of porn use, porn, or the act of spending time trying to find the perfect video eats up large portions of time that could be better spent on more beneficial activities.

Recommendation: Eliminate all forms of pornography from your everyday life.

There is no benefit to viewing pornography, even in moderation; your biology is wired to crave more extreme forms as time progresses.

2) Social Media

Social media is the king of distractions. Americans aged 18-64 who use social media say they spend about 3.2 hours per day doing so 1. This is an enormous chunk of the day that could, and should be used more productively. The problem with social media is that it trains you to need a small, intermittent dopamine hit multiple times an hour. Today, we are constantly checking our phones, waiting for someone to like our Instagram picture or retweet something we posted on Twitter, just to get that little surge of dopamine of someone validating our post. This obviously leads to some issues. Your ability to focus on tasks, uninterrupted, greatly diminishes due to this constant validation seeking behavior.

Not only is social media a harmful neurothrill that abuses our reward system, it also has a tendency to make you feel inferior. If you decide to keep using social media, it is imperative that you understand what its true purpose is: personal marketing. The people you follow will only post the most exciting moments that they experience, making their lives appear more thrilling than they really are. Many of us forget this and get caught up in comparing our own lives to the ones we see on social media. Realize that you are comparing yourself to a story that someone wants you to believe about them. Don’t compare your homemade sandwich to a Big Mac in a McDonald’s commercial–it may look more delicious, but in reality, it’s just a greasy sandwich.

Recommendation: Drastically cut down your use of social media.

Social media will waste your time, cause you to seek validation from others, worsen your ability to delay gratification, and will make you feel inferior if you don’t view it as a tool for personal marketing. Eliminate it and watch your confidence and discipline skyrocket.

The only exception for keeping a social media account is to play the game of personal marketing. Build yourself an attractive profile, then leave it up as a tool of demonstrating value. (This will be a topic for a future post.)

Alternative: Always be social with strangers in public.

See someone wearing a t-shirt of a band that you like? Make some small talk with them. Focus on meeting people every day and building your real life social network.

3) TV/Video Games

This dynamic duo was the bane of my teenage years–they are extremely effective at wasting your time. Netflix was always a problem for me; once I had started watching a TV show, it was extremely hard for me to stop. Plot twists, explosions, deus ex machina–all novel tactics to keep to you entertained and glued to your seat for hours.

Most video games keep you occupied in the same way. What makes video games more insidious than television is the leveling system that many games have. By giving your brain the illusion of working hard towards improving your character to a certain level, it has the tendency of making you come back every day to plug in several hours to further advance your character.

Recommendation: Always be staying busy (ABSB)

If you are willing to give away your TV–more power to you. For most of us, however, that’s a pretty drastic measure. The best way to avoid falling into the trap of loafing on your coach all day is to always be keeping busy with other tasks. Cultivate productive everyday habits that leave you too preoccupied to consciously turn on your TV to unwind.

Alternative: Read a book

In the fitness world, they have what’s called “the apple test.” If you are hungry enough to eat an apple, you are indeed hungry and have passed the test. If you are not hungry enough to eat an apple, you have failed the test–meaning you are not physically hungry, you just have a craving for the taste and comfort of food.

Similarly, I came up with something called, “the book test.” If you are looking to unwind, and the idea of reading a few pages of an interesting book doesn’t appeal to you, then you know that your mind is seeking a dopamine hit.

4) Sugar

Something that not many people realize is that eating sugar causes very large amounts of dopamine to be released. The fructose found in sugar bypasses our normal satiety mechanisms by promoting resistance to a hormone released by our fat cells called leptin. Leptin works to achieve homeostasis in the amount of fat that our bodies carry. The bigger our fat cells are, the more leptin they secrete, signalling the brain to eat less food. By making the brain temporarily resistant to leptin, fructose encourages fat storage.

Since there weren’t many sources of sugar in the pre-agricultural era, it makes sense that our brains evolved to reward us in the case of finding one, as it would increase our chances of survival by increasing our energy stores.

With the advent of refined sugar into our everyday lives, we have seen a growing incidence of obesity and type 2 diabetes. This all stems down to the fact that sugar acts like an addictive substance 2 by releasing large amounts of dopamine when ingested, ultimately leading to desensitization through over-consumption.

Recommendation: Eliminate refined sugar from your diet, eat fruit in moderation.

5) Excessive Theorizing (Mental Masturbation)

Many of us who have a passion for self improvement struggle with this habit. What we don’t realize is that reading post after post, book after book, is dopamine seeking behavior. Filling your head with theory–new tricks and insights–without taking the proper action to implement them is mental masturbation in its purest form. It is definitely a hard pill to swallow, but for most people, constantly reading self help material is just a sneaky way for your brain to get a dopamine hit, while the host is left with a false feeling of success and accomplishment.

Doing this wastes time and gets you nowhere fast.

Rather than going out and taking the proper actions to realize his dreams, the mental masturbator sits in isolation, reading about the experiences of others taking action, searching for the one tidbit that will bring him a quantum leap to success. It never comes.

Recommendation: Keep a theory to action ratio of 1:5.

Keep track of all the tangible actions you make on a daily basis that bring you closer to achieving your personal goals from now on. Award yourself one theory reading for every five actions you take. This will keep you from falling into the trap of masking your fear of taking action with over-saturation of theory reading.

A Quick Word on Meditation

In order to ‘grease the groove’ and make the process of avoiding instant gratification activities easier, I recommend a short 10-20 minute meditation session each day.

How to:

  • Sit in a comfortable position.

  • Observe the breath. Is it cold as you inhale? Warm as you exhale?

  • Observe the uncontrollable act that breathing is. Observe the unconscious force which compels you to breath.

  • Thoughts will arise, simply realize that you are thinking and return to observing the breath.

  • Do not feel anger or frustration if thoughts continue to arise incessantly. Each time you recognize that you are thinking, the frequency of thoughts decreases.

What this does is train you to be aware of when your mind tries to rationalize its desire to indulge in dopamine spiking activities.

It also makes you more aware of when your brain finds other media through which to satiate its craving for dopamine that you might not have been aware of initially.

Start with 10 minutes daily, progressively adding 30 seconds to each session each day until you reach 20 minutes.

Additional Neurothrills (For the Hardcore)

These are by no means necessary, if you refrain from the toxic five, you will be psychologically and emotionally healthier than the majority of people living in the westernized world.

Music: As a musician, I dread the idea of listening to less music, but I can’t deny the fact that the longer I abstain from listening to the music on my phone, the more amazing it sounds when I do listen to it. No need to eliminate it, but consider listening to a podcast on your way to work once in a while instead.

Warm showers: While it seems that warm showers mostly release oxytocin, myself and many others have had tremendous success with implementing cold showers.

Day dreaming/fantasizing: Meditation is a great help if you have problems with this.

Alcohol/cigarettes/marijuana: These are simply unnecessary dopaminergic vices.


It takes a strong mind and a boatload of self awareness to realize the vicious cycle of dopamine abuse that exists in our modern world.

The average man seeks to live in comfort, blindingly pumping his brain with dopamine daily, from the time he wakes up to the time he goes back to bed.

He is lonely because he is too sexually depraved from pornography abuse to pursue a healthy relationship with a woman.

He places his confidence in the hands of others by relying on their validation through social media.

The average man eats sugary snacks and sits happily at >20% body fat, slowly bringing his cells to exhaustion from the constant bombardment of insulin that they receive.

He will sit in front of the TV for hours, binge watching netflix or playing video games to ‘unwind’ from his ‘hard’ day at work.

He is always looking for shortcuts, unable to muster up a shred of discipline to put in the work to escape the hell that he calls life.

He’ll never change. He’s comfortable.

But you can.

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Title Dopamine Decoded: The Five Most Toxic Habits (Part 2)
Author [deleted]
Upvotes 1299
Comments 161
Date May 22, 2017 4:11 AM UTC (4 years ago)
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[–]RedDeadlift152 points153 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

Very helpful posts.

Your recommendations are spot-on. I have been doing a decent job of keeping #1-4 to a minimum, but I am massively guilty of sneaky #5: Excessive Theorizing (Mental Masturbation).

Keeping a theory to action ratio of 1:5 is good advice to break out of this.

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Excessive theorizing is a sign of a hyperactive doubting mind (like mine). It's the "I want to feel like I'm doing something but I want to make sure I'll make it right so instead I'll just sit here feeling good about thinking of the thing I want to do".

My guess is that it's half perfectionism and half insecurity. We should allow ourselves room to try and fail a couple of times before we go back to the drawing board.

[–]lopsidedlucky4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like half my old friends.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This has been the most eye opening comment I've ever read on Reddit ever. I'm shook.

[–]ObviouslyRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm in the same boat. I'm entering my second semester of college and still can't decide what to major in. Something that will put me in business and hopefully a high paying leadership role, or nursing which will undoubtedly get me a job paying good money with the opportunity to go to med school or law school while the other also offers the opportunity for law school. Every day for the last year is near constant doubt. During the semester I will meditate during class to focus and I do exceptionally well. But it's this constant self doubt and fear of the unknown. I went and talked to my school counselor last week saying I am going to switch to a business major. She gives me the paper to fill out and get signed by my program supervisor and I instantly start doubting my decision. I always felt my thorough analysis was a strength but with self reflection it has only caused me grief and pain.

[–]sup1337hax10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

[–]natetheproducer34 points35 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Yeah but now I'm just theorizing about how I'm gonna pull off that 1:5 ratio. Now I'm theorizing about how I can theorize my way out of this horrible habit of obsessive theorization!!!! I THINK IM TRAPPED! I CANT STOP IT SOMEBODY FUCKING HELP ME!!!!!

[–]SmellsLikeNostrils21 points22 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

... and posting about it all to social media.
Your mind is a well-trained, powerful machine - a machine that you need to reign in and regain control of.

Get off reddit for the rest of today. No audiobooks, nor books, nor podcasts. No more of other people's thoughts, conclusions, opinions, stories and successes.

Start something little on your to do list and let your mind turn to the handling of that task. Clean your room, your car. Groom yourself above what you normally do. Whatever. Focus on the task and know going into it that it likely won't be fun. It might feel like torture or unbearable tedium.

Finish the task, observing what your emotions and mind do in the process, if they try to pull you into another habit, especially daydreaming or fantasizing. Observe it as if it another's mind, without judgment. Then resume your focus.

Just get into physical action. Don't work out. You don't need a physical dopamine rush. Not now. Find an area in your life to bring greater order to, then start.

Put down the phone/tablet/laptop screen and walk away. Then start.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Kinda unrelated but I like to put Reddit in the "social media" side of things. While it's no Twitter/Facebook it still gives you the "feel good" sense of getting more karma and upvotes from other people (that you will never meet or know anything beyond what they post).

In my main account I literally felt bad about myself whenever I was getting downvoted to the point of deleting a comment people didn't like. "No more mr. nice guy" social media version.

[–]SmellsLikeNostrils3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Very true. It goes beyond that, but not for most people.

Huge echo chamber, false validation, shallow community (in most cases)... It's all there.

[–]Robert_Robz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This might be the best piece of advice I've read on the trp, I'll fucking get to it

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Elliot hulse has a video where he says to pick a plan, any plan and do it for a whole year. The point is that people get 20% into a plan and think "cutting has got me small, Im gonna change the plan" or "bulking has got me fat, I'm gonna change the plan". On and in for years at a time they get no where and they completely undermine their discipline.

Spend a little time to survey the options, then pick one and see it through. After 1 year, look at what you made and do a little research and try a new plan based on the needs then. The wasted time of switching plans is greater than the marginal gain difference between the optimal plan and a good one.

[–]CQC31 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'd like to add that intentionally cycling plans can help for fitness. I run a more strength oriented routine for about 6-8 weeks and I'll eventually start to feel a bit stagnant or that I need too much food to continue to make less gains (diminishing returns). I'll transition then into a volume phase where I do higher reps and less intensity.

Not only does this keep me interested, but it seems to work. It's nothing new or novel, just your basic building mass then peaking strength with that new mass.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

All good programs have progression built into them to ensure stagnation doesn't happen . For example SL 5x5 will add weight every week. other programs have you push to failure on the last set. Etc. This will ensure your body does not adapt and stop progressing. Most people fail this part by either not recording their workouts/weights/reps or by just not incrementing the difficulty (weights, reps or time under tension).

I recommend against changing programs too frequently because it's hard to gauge the right weight for a new exercise every 8 weeks. But with progressively increasing weight it's possible to hit the true max/fail and know what you're gaining on your lifts.

[–]CQC31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not saying that you'll stagnate on any given program just by running it for any period of time.

I am saying however that I've found a groove that seems to work for me. I actually hate 5x5, I don't think it's a bad program at all, but that particular intensity and rep scheme doesn't jive with me at all. I can go heavier or I can go with more volume, but I hate the middle ground. I was doing N-Suns 531 variation and it worked out pretty well. It's basically a strength program that mitigates the higher volume by increasing sets--sorta like 10x3. However, I won't lie. It's a bit taxing for me since I'm still relatively green.

I'm not doing a new exercise, but rather taking a more volume focused approach on the same lifts. I know all my 1rm's so I can gauge how much volume to use myself. I have a lot of gains in me, so it's feasible for me to do some volume work (which I have yet to do really, been mostly strength based rep schemes).

The truth is that not everybody responds to strength training the same way. You WILL get stronger, but not necessarily bigger. There has been a great circlejerk in the past few years acting like powerlifting will do everything for you but it won't. Especially in terms of aesthetics. I'm happy with my strength gains thus far, but it's time to put some mass on bodybuilding style. With the added mass I'll have greater strength potential too, instead of just relying on becoming more efficient at the lift.

[–]I_VII_VI_VI_VII_I points points [recovered] | Copy Link

I actually have a problem with #5. A big one.

reading post after post, book after book, is dopamine seeking behavior. Filling your head with theory–new tricks and insights–without taking the proper action to implement them is mental masturbation in its purest form. It is definitely a hard pill to swallow, but for most people, constantly reading self help material is just a sneaky way for your brain to get a dopamine hit, while the host is left with a false feeling of success and accomplishment.Doing this wastes time and gets you nowhere fast.

You're advocating not reading books and not looking for way to better yourself. Some of the most beneficial habits I've adopted have come by way of the reddit post, the youtube video, and especially the book. This is nonsense. You're telling the philosopher not to wonder, the skeptic not to question, and the common man not to learn. I suppose this is all fine if you are committed to an ACTUAL monk lifestyle. But I don't know anyone who is. I quit porn after finding no fap. And I feel amazing. I began lifting after being exposed to TRP and other real-world truths. I began saving and being financially responsible after finding Dave Ramsey and conservatism. I'm much happier today because of tons of 'new tricks and insight'.

[–]brgie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Read OP again. He suggested 1:5 ratio.

[–]laere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean if I am a fat neckbeard sitting in my basement reading all this and not doing any of it, that's mental masturbation right? But If I am reading these things and actively working on cutting these things out and improving myself day by day, then that isn't mental masturbation. Is there a line?

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Excessive theorizing, man... It's worse than porn, because you can turn the PC off. Armchair theorizing gone wrong.

I like to write my thoughts, and as it turns out, you begin to think more condensely and generally less, because you build the connection between thinking too much and pain, because your hand gets tired.

[–]Mattalec points points [recovered] | Copy Link

I agree. Personally, I keep a journal for this exact reason.

[–]beginner_8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah. If you have problem with falling asleep due to mental masturbation, journal is the best idea. Or just writing it down on a piece of paper and throwing the paper in the trash. The writing it down part is what helps.

[–]eagle_2671 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow thank you for this great idea, I've heard the advice of keeping a journal before but never understood the connection to analysis paralysis.

[–]Psychocist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I do it in my journal on evernote. It helps when I need to vent, but I reckon physically writing it down would discourage me from doing it too much.

[–]Nikelu0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sorry for hijacking but are the nudes and videos my gf sends me considered porn? Could I masturbate with those when in need to get myself going?

[–]dudecof1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The main difference is that with your girlfriends nudes, you have access to the actual girl in the pictures which is so much better than staring at pixels which is all you get with porn. If you begin to crave her nudes and vids more than fucking her in real life, then you have a problem.

[–]1201merp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Spend a little time to survey the options, then pick one and see it through.

Yes, any visual nudity is stimulation to our brain to release dopamine if it is your girlfriend or a pornstar you don't know. I can understand this is difficult to handle but it goes back to how much you are willing too sacrifice to improve as a man. Short term reward<long term improvement in my opinion

[–]tempjewman31 points32 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Beautiful post.

Excessive theorizing is definitely a problem, with the potential to be worse than everything else combined. Going through post after post on here, you feel compelled to find the easy solution, without trying something and failing.

The science is there that when you talk about an idea to someone, like a project you're starting, the validation you get just from talking about it releases dopamine. Talking about something which you haven't done rewards you. Then, how the fuck will you get through the actual implementation? It's the same with:

  • learning a new instrument

  • reading a new book

  • going to the gym

  • eating healthy

  • starting a company

LITERALLY, ANYTHING which requires hard work. Maybe, we should consider it a policy that before you can talk about the stuff you do, actually finish it first. Once your business makes money, or you practiced 1000 hours of guitar, then you are allowed to use it in conversation.

I look forward to your series, especially on marketing yourself through social media. Having a former beta life, my Facebook is definitely not broadcasting me as a high SMV male. Idk what to do, without maintaining authenticity.

[–]SMVSMY7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I look forward to your series, especially on marketing yourself through social media. Having a former beta life, my Facebook is definitely not broadcasting me as a high SMV male. Idk what to do, without maintaining authenticity.

I go through my social media accounts once every six months and look at my entire collection of posts on each platform. I then remove the posts that do not align with the person I'd like to present myself as today and the person I'd like to present myself as in the future.

Quite literally killing the beta.

[–]Tipsy_Gnostalgic48 points49 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

You listed three popular drugs (alcohol, nicotine, and marijuana), but what about the most widely used drug in the world; caffeine? I've noticed that I'm slowly relying on caffeine more and more each day. Can it be used in moderation?

[–]thecajunone17 points18 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Sure. Stop using it. Your body will adjust naturally and if you do need it for an emergency it will be that much more effective. Example: I use pre-work out once every week.

[–]MaxwellGaine6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Caffeine boosts adrenaline and cortisol, which is part of what causes the wakefulness.

Some people have higher cortisol at night - in extreme cases, this can be crippling insomnia - and other people naturally have higher cortisol in the morning.

Caffeine can be very helpful for the night owls to adapt to a world that favors "morning people" (most jobs, school, etc).

[–]Yankee_Fever0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

A world that favors morning people? Lol. At one point in our timeline the only time we could progress during a species was from sun up to sun down

[–]FLFTW1626 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A world that favors morning people? Lol. At one point in our timeline the only time we could progress during a species was from sun up to sun down

We evolved to have various sleep patterns so that someone in the tribe can always be "on watch" for predators or peer competitor invaders (other hominids).

Additionally, in some habitats hunting and fishing is best done when the sun is down. It's mighty useful to have a percentage of people in your tribe who are night owls (with good night vision).

Settled agricultural civilization has been around for only 5-10,000 years. We've been homo sapiens for 200-250,000 years.

[–]Yankee_Fever9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

True that. Pretty good insight. Thanks

[–]vengefully_yours8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I spent most of my adult life working nights or second shift. I think 4 years total on day shift. My rhythm is kinda fucked up after traveling around the world working odd hours everywhere I went. I'm rarely awake when most people are. Lately though I'm getting up around 0700, just because. No reason for it really.

Anyway, the point is if you're like me, you see that the world is geared toward people working during the day. Everything is open and timed for their day, not yours. Working nights you get breakfast when you get off work, nobody is making anything else. Your Dr and dental appointments are during the middle of when you're usually sleeping. They eat dinner, and it's your breakfast time. Going to get your drivers license renewed or new plates means staying up for hours after you've usually gone to sleep. You get friends from Australia online because everyone else is asleep.

It's a different world when you don't work normal hours.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Server, delivery driver, security guard. I know that life.

[–]KIaptrap-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sounds to me you need to work out more than once a week.

[–]RedPistola4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He said he uses pre workout once a week that's not indicative of how often he works out.

[–]twatbutters4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I eliminated caffeine for the most part this year (there's still a small amount in decaf, but it's a drop in the bucket compared to fully caffeinated beverages). My sleep schedules are far more normal, and the sleep I get is meaningful.

The first month of caffeine deprivation sucked ass, I won't lie-- my sleep schedule was off and on, and I felt extremely lethargic.

[–]fosterbarnet5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A small amount of caffeine can actually be healthy and ecological coffee also contains antioxidants. I try to limit myself to 1-2 cups a day and take it preferably before working out for performance boost.

[–]vengefully_yours25 points26 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Know what? I feel fortunate that I grew up in a world before the net, when porn didn't move unless you had an 8mm projector, and video games were coin operated in a room somewhere miles away. Maybe that life on the farm with one clear station and two fuzzy ones on tv made me less susceptible to addiction. I was always outside doing something. I was broke as fuck and isolated from friends by miles of corn fields, so I was always planning and dreaming of what I wanted to do and see. I didn't have entire worlds to explore on a flat screen in my room, either I read about it or I had to go there. I went to most of the places I wanted to see. I've done most of the things I wanted to do and still do those things.

Technology is a tool for me, not a crutch, not an addiction. I have no idea how much karma I have on here, because it doesn't matter to me. I use Facebook to find cars and parts to build, and plan events with our cars. I can look up info online faster than in a manual in my shop and send a pic of my car to a friend in Norway while my girl sends me a shot of her tits, then go back to doing my car thing. I've fully embraced technology, using it in my home, cars, and daily life. I talk to the ecm in my cars with the same 11" tablet I'm using to talk to you right now.

It makes no sense to me that someone would sit and watch porn all day. Fuck I get bored of seeing tits and ass if it's everywhere. I can have a web cam whore on the tv in my shop, look up, see tits for a few seconds, and go back to putting the engine together. But I've come to realize something.

You guys aren't like me. You grew up with all of this superficial and inane validation all around you. The meat of life is new to you. You look to your phone the way I look outside, you see your world through it, I see my world around it. You can watch porn for hours and not get bored, probably because it's some shit you've never done. Watching racing on tv or playing racing games is no fun to me, because I own race cars and race them. I like flight sims because I can't get in a plane and shoot down other planes in it. I don't do it very often though.

Take heed of what your peers are saying. Get the fuck out in the world and experience it entirely rather than watching it on a screen. It's vastly more enjoyable in person.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are other real reasons your generation is different. Women used to go for a guy with a car because it was more rare and more "cool". The modern analog of building a muscle car is being a Instagram, Snapchat or YouTube star.

Also pre social media people could only be compared with their immediate surroundings. You only had to be the hottest guy in your (small) town. Now you have to compete with all the YouTube stars. The hypergamy and lack of statistics knowledge means women think that Hawt stars are the norm and that they could get him (maybe true for a ONS, but definitely not for commitment).

Just like the workforce, competition has gone global. Lucky for us TRP we have mass information available to augment our outcomes, but also means that low potential men will never have the average experience of men 30 years ago.

[–]Returnofthemack32 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

yeah it's crazy how tainted the life experience is for most people these days. The smart phone thing is particularly disgusting imo. I'm not against their usage persay, but the way people use them. It's just vapid and meaningless. I see people chronicling their entire lives on shitty apps like snapchat nad shit, instead of just experiencing things. It really bugs me when people are taking pictures/video and I have no say in it. Like damn shut off your damn phone, I dont want to be on your shitty snaps

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We are the first generation to be born into this type of scenerio.

We are only just now learning the problems it's causing and new addictions that are forming from the excessive use, and most of us have been using it from a very early age.

The average men and woman under 30 is different than what you were in your generation.

I'm 24 and have a friend who is 31 and it is a vastly different mindset.

Most if not all women are over stimulated from social pornography (Social Media) and alot of men are over stimulated from Sexual Pornography.

[–]skippwiggins0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This was a great read. My generation is fucked.

[–]zarbang26 points27 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Very helpful is the most destructive thing for young generations mental health. I. Believe it because i was a porn addicted.

Keep the series goes on like fast and furious.

[–]nightmancommeth6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Been there. Will never go back.

[–]scissor_me_timbers004 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's a vicious cycle when you have zero understanding of how to go out and get yourself some real pussy

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Check out the stats on consumption of porn among young women and the nature of porn they consume amd watch all the pieces of TRP snap firmly into place and cemented together.

We created the supersluts we have today and we did it in an extreme and thorough manner.

Your princess wants to be tied down and throat fucked while getting fisted and beat with a riding crop by total strangers while a circus midget shits on her back.

You simply cannot go too far in the bedroom, and at the point you feel uncomfortable with how you're treating her, understand that in her mind she's wishing you didn't stop short.

[–]zarbang1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your post just remind me to delete my posts about porn that i uploaded for guaranteed upvotes. Thank you

[–]1201merp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is actually a very interesting idea that I only the past couple of days have come across. I have been on nofap for a while but still just enjoy things other than vanilla sex. I on the one hand can think this is due to my porn consumption (the same as why women want to be fucked like a whore) although perhaps now because society is all about accepting anything that perhaps people are more open to it?

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A new level of thinking is required before you can just pull the plug on all of the above, or you're asking for the same problem is new wrapping paper:


Don't just "not jerk off" for X period of time, sitting in a room, reading articles. Work on your career in that period of time instead.

Life isn't going to reward you for simply having the discipline to not touch your dick every 3 hours; it's going to reward you for TAKING NEW ACTIONS OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE. New actions = new results. Habit and behavioral replacement is the secret to all of this shit.

You need to have a new plan in place before you just "stop" doing pretty much 90% of your routine - even when your routine was full of porn/social media/etc.

You'll also find it's easier to transition to new behaviors and habits if you've already got your mind going in a new direction.

[–]archwolfg8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because apparently the only way you're supposed to have fun is by fucking chicks or making money. SMH

It's actually really simple, if you have a problem with something in your life, change it. If it isn't causing you trouble, and it feels good, don't change it.

[–]dumbkidaccount5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

So after we cut all those cheap dopamine sources from our life , life in general would be more exciting?

But should we not reward ourselves every once in a while too? Would that hurt our receptors ?

[–]stawek5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

"Rewarding yourself" is a cheat to get some pleasure.

Go and do something productive, the joy of progressing in your taks will be enough of a reward in itself.

[–]dumbkidaccount1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Good point. So avoid dopamine at any cost?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"the joy of progressing in your task" is dopamine. I used to be a huge pot head and hated cleaning or even doing dishes. Now that I cut out the weed, I recognize a much stronger positive feeling from doing my dishes. When you don't flood yourself with dopamine and build up a tolerance from the cheap thrills, it will reinforce healthy behaviors

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

How can I will myself to change when I'm a slave of my own mind? Your post is the answer to most of my problems and I knew it before I even read it. I literally have all the problems you described in this and the previous post. I've tried nofap multiple times and failed within 3 days everytime. Every now and then, I'll get a boost of motivation and I'll try to change but then I fall again. I am failing several subjects this year because I can't focus myself to read for more than a few lines. I know that discipline and habits trump motivation... willpower.... instant gratification... yada yada. But I CANT CHANGE. What am I supposed to do? In other words, I know what to do but I can't get myself to do it.

[–]jimsfriend14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Use external cues rather than internal motivation to complete small simple tasks. For example: when you leave your room, take one piece of trash with you. Every time you leave your room. "But how would I do that when I can't make myself?!" You aren't making yourself do it. You took the trash because you left your room. It is cause and effect, there was no choice. It is a reaction.

Consider why you stop at a red light in traffic. Did you stop because it is dangerous to go? Did you stop because you considered that if you don't stop you will get a ticket? You stopped because it was red. You didn't make a choice, you reacted. React to leaving your room by taking a piece of trash with you. Your room will now be free of trash. This includes any piss jugs you may have. Use this method for any simple activity. If you forget, you go back and do it. Just like the person who realizes halfway through the intersection that the light was red will instinctively touch their brakes even though it is too late will "go back" and do what they were supposed to do, except for your simple tasks it won't be too late, they can still be done.

When you leave your last class for the day, you go sit in the library. I don't care if immediately after sitting down you get back up and leave, that is your choice, but going to the library and sitting down was not a choice. It was a reaction to leaving your last class for the day. Once you have many simple tasks that are reactions to external cues rather than choices you make yourself do by force of will, you will have some good habits. Things you will automatically do without thinking about it.

As for how to stop your bad habits when you CAN'T stop them. Mattalec proposed that it is extreme to get rid of a TV to stop yourself from misusing TV, and so (general) you conclude that it's not a real or reasonable suggestion to do so. So you don't. But you (Duetuet specifically!) are an extreme case. Get rid of your TV. Give it to your parents, throw it in the dumpster, I don't care. Just get rid of it. And now get rid of your computer. "But but, how will I live without those things? My life will suck!" Your life already sucks! And it sucks because of your computer and TV! My life also sucks. As of June 1, I will no longer have home internet access, because I misuse home internet. I have a flip phone, because I misuse smart phone. I will not have TV or consoles, I have given them away. I am taking extreme measures, because my failure is extreme.

Meal prep is a solution to refined sugar. When you go to the grocery store, you bring a grocery list of only the healthy/nutritious things that are part of your weekly meal plan. Didn't bring a list? Ask the cashier to borrow a pen and some receipt paper. Don't be embarrassed or shy, the cashier literally cares nothing about what you do or why you do it so long as you give the pen back. Don't write anything on the list that isn't part of your meal plan. Don't buy anything that isn't on your list. Now that you have gotten to the car with your groceries, take out the things that were not on your list and throw them away. There is conveniently a trash can near the cart corral. Junk food does not make it to my house because if I bought it, I throw it away. I have stopped buying it.

Getting out of your own head: I go for walks. I find walks to be pleasant. Perhaps you find taking a walk pleasant, or maybe sitting by a fountain in a park, etc. Any quiet activity you can do without headphones that you won't feel bored doing. If you are able to meditate outright, that is ideal. My walks are triggered by an external cue, I don't choose to go for a walk. I go rain or shine.

In this way, for the little things I no longer do them as responsibilities to myself, I do them as habit and instinct. The big things become interesting and fun, and I want and enjoy doing them. I don't have to FORCE myself to do a thing I enjoy. That's silly. I just do it! I am still weak willed, but I fail a lot less, and I do things that I can't make myself do.

[–]1Maverick11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Listen to this man and his thoughts. These are wise words from someone who is now activated.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for this and mattalec, for the post. I can't tell you how much I needed this. This provides the most basic and most helpful part towards the solution of all problems. Just wanted to let you know

[–]hbPUA4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

As mattalec suggested, pick one toxic habit to start with.

Then make sure you can replace it with another easy (or somewhat easy) habit to replace it with. Example if I would quit watching four hours YouTube and instead run for one hour. One hour is to long for an easy transition. Instead I could go out and run 20 minutes, get home and shower. Then meditate 10 minutes. After that pick another good thing I want to do. Over time I can ramp up my running.

Second make sure to meditate every day. Download headspace which is what i use (or Google Sam Harris meditation). Why use an app? It makes you accountable for streaks and gets you achievements. While it's super easy to start. Meditation builds your mind stronger, so you can take control again and master yourself. Over time it will reduce the craving for dopamine activities.

Edit: Forgot to add, STAY BUSY. The easiest way to avoid bad stuff, is make sure to do more good stuff.

[–]fukurfeelz4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Purely an /s post, but it is funny to me that the app headspace uses achievements as a way to keep you going, because the entire premise of achievements are based on producing dopamine hits for "accomplishing" something. Other than that, totally agree with what youve said.

[–]hbPUA5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I agree. I've wasted so much time meditating before - achieving nothing!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cut out the porn. Masturbation is natural, but pornography is detrimental. Jerk it to a piece of curvy drift wood if you have to, but don't go on a click-a-thon. Here's the math: it's everything you want, free, you can have as much as you want, anytime, anywhere, in endless combinations and varieties. That, my friend, is what we in business call a trap.

[–]Fat_SMP_peruser0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There's a lot of good advice in the responses to your post. I had a period of crippling inability to focus and a large part of it turned out to be a hyperactive thyroid, it had gotten to the point where I couldn't sleep, had crazy high blood pressure and I was getting sore muscles from not exercising. So maybe make sure there isn't a medical reason?

[–]ruboski8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I found with meditation that even 10 minutes would be a struggle when I first started. I'd just get extremely irritable by minute 8.

Breaking it up by starting at 5 minutes in the morning and 5 at night might make it a bit easier for someone who struggles with the 10 in one go.

Everyone should be meditating though, it's life-changing.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

By meditating. Do you mean sitting in silence and just thinking?

[–]Bandos151 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sit still dont lie down and dont think, set an alarm. Focusing on breathing helps keeping toughts away

[–]Bandos150 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sit still dont lie down and dont think, set an alarm. Focusing on breathing helps keeping toughts away

[–]Bandos150 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sit still dont lie down and dont think, set an alarm. Focusing on breathing helps keeping toughts away

[–]eagle_2671 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The key is to start small and make incremental progress. I started with just a minute of deep breathing exercises inhale for 8 seconds, hold for 2 and exhale for 10 seconds repeat for a total of 3 times. In the beginning this was challenging and i'd do it when i work, during my commute and before bed. When your ready to do more there are a bunch of good aps for guided meditations

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This was spot on in so many ways.

To be able to do everything listed here would require a damn near satori state of mind, but I think most people will be able to look at which of these are hindering their progress the most and take steps to cut it out of their lives.

IMO not everything has to be dedicated to progressing yourself and making you a better person. If you enjoy something that is not 100% beneficial to you in the long run and have the rest of your life in control, I don't see a problem with that.

[–]daYellowKid2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fucking awesome post. I've always loved the neurological takes on things especially involving the reward system.

There's another thing I wish to cut back, don't know if this includes in the mental masturbation but it's talking about your goals. For instance, If I tell you that I'm working on my delts and show you my gains, I won't work as hard or at all the next time. I do this with everything. Since you're a musician you can understand, I render without working on the mix down and once I bounce the track out, that's the last time I'm working on it, ever. I can't control myself with this, it's like premature ejaculation. Anyone else experience this?

[–]Fusion_power3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The summary re sugar is incomplete. Sugar is unique that it does not trigger the "full" signalling response from our stomach. We can consume large amounts of sugar yet never feel satiated. There is also the factor that lots of sugars in our lives today are high in fructose. This is particularly true of soft drinks. The average American today consumes about 150 pounds of sugar per year. 75 pounds (or more!) is fructose. 25 pounds of that 75 is converted into fat. This is not a maybe or a possibly, it is 25 pounds of fat per year that your body either has to store or consume. Most store it. We become obese.

If you are going to do the work to get into shape, don't sabotage your efforts by consuming high amounts of sugar. We can consume about 15 to 20 pounds of sugar per year while maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Athletes in training can use more. Most of us should reduce sugar intake and exercise more.

[–]barrelsroll2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How long will it take to completely heal your dopamine receptors though? any scientific talk about it? I don't think 24 to 72 hours would be enough at all.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This may just change my life. Thank you.

[–]BigMike2032 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Fantastic post, thank you for putting the time and energy into this

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sorry, don't mean to be that guy as your post was phenomenal. Just wanted to make sure other readers could find Part I to this article. Thanks for giving so much of yourself OP into this piece.

[–]GurneyHalleck858 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

The mere fact of existence and doing what you're "supposed to do" in a rat-race (for mates? for status?) strikes many people as dull. There's a tendency a fair number of people have where they look at things that give them comfort in an otherwise dull life (gaming, porn, etc) as THE cause of why they have a dull life in the first place or why they aren't where they'd like to be in life.

The internet, video-games, porn are remarkable things in alleviating a painful fact of existence -- BOREDOM.

Hell, I can just as well spend all my free time reading non-fiction, making THAT into my main hobby and my main source of dopamine. I find nonfiction highly pleasurable. But then this effectively means, for me, non-fiction = video-games = porn. Heck, reading (and listening to) non-fiction all the time just also enables endless rumination which I find PLEASURABLE.

[–]Psychocist4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

If you're not lifting, making money, fucking bitches or posting to TRP then you're wasting your time!

[–]GurneyHalleck850 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Stop and ask yourself "why." I'm not discouraging you from seeking to do any of the above things as much as you'd like but it's horseshit to say "you're wasting your time" if you're not engaging in such activities. By what measure? Lol, we're freaking animals and and as men we're driven to seek status and mates -- all towards the end of your genes successfully replicating themselves. You may find purpose and meaning in that but to me it appears as meaningful as a squirrel burying acorns -- ingrained behavior meant to facilitate survival/reproduction.

[–]Psychocist2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oops, forgot the /s haha

[–]GurneyHalleck850 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol, the thought that you were possibly being sarcastic DID occur to me!

[–]swordshab1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

What's the problem with mental masturbation... isn't gaining knowledge a good thing?

[–]Shamlei6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This isn't gaining knowledge, it's endlessly theoryzing what will or could happen and you'll do about it, without acting.

[–]vitringur2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How are you gaining knowledge?

Imagine an anarcho-capitalist and communist-marxist. Both of them believe that they have a theory that can pretty much explain everything around them. Neither of them are using the same theory and both would say the other one is wrong.

Even professors and people who are serious in academia don't sit around the theorize every day.

Creating a theory and doing academic research is way more work than just sitting around and convincing yourself that you have everything figured out.

[–]penis_butter_n_jelly2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you aren't iterating in a scientific way (hypothesis->prediction->test->analysis), then you're just wasting your time.

[–]Arabian_Wolf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

And in business sense according to the book "The Lean Startup": Build-Measure-Learn (can also go vice-versa).

[–]Shaman66240 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well maybe it's comparable with masturbating itsself. Thinking about sex, watching porn 5x a day and reading books about sex isn't the same as having sex

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The more aware you are, of yourself and where you came from, of nature, your species, and your environment, the more capable you are of climbing dominance heirarchies.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a very good article. However, I have to mention that sitting meditation is quite advanced. If practiced improperly by the wrong person, it can actually increase anxiety, depression, and lack of self-control. A better solution is to practice qigong, which is a kind of moving meditation (gets the same job done). and Mimi Kuo-Deemer's 8 pieces of brocade on YouTube are good places to start.

[–]twatbutters1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Excellent post-- especially on sugar and mental masturbation. The illusion that you're doing something productive is perhaps the most deleterious thing to actual progress that you can do to yourself.

Having lost over 100 pounds in the past, I can attest that eliminating sugar is key to your success. You feel less hungry all the time, you feel satiated, and you're not addicted to the burst of dopamine some shitty high-calorie snack will give you at the cost of heavily impeding your progress in fitness.

[–]HappyMexican1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great post. I really like the self motivational/improvement posts on TRP. This one hits the nail on the head for time wasters we all deal with.

[–]mypasswordismud1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Posts like this are what make this sub exceptional.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I'm at an awkward stage where I understand what's up and what I need to do, but fitness progress for me is going to be at least another year. I read a couple threads here a day and internalize the meaning and how to apply it to my life, but until my smv is higher and I move to a different city I have few opportunities to apply the ideas of trp. When I get to travel I use ideas learned here and it has gained my success socially where I would have failed a couple years ago. Good thread op, I've always thought a majority of those concepts were detrimental to life. Eliminating them has been a goal of mine that I have made pretty good progress on.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I would just like to say, and this is me being ignorant of your circumstances, that it is very bad to put things off and say "when this happens, I'll start". Unless you absolutely cannot start your fitness, and other trp principles you need to start acting straight away. "You'll never be ready" is a great little line ill tell myself everyday.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm working on fitness now. The only thing I can't really do is go out and game bitches because I'm not about fucking inbreds and chubbies in my small town. There are limited options but since I'm 19 without a career these older bitches, 23yr old to pre wall, would not give me the time of day here. It's a weird dynamic but I I have free college here and I'll be moving in a year. Basically all I can do from trp is work on myself, but my body gains mass slowly so it takes time.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

There are no hot 19 year olds in your area? If this is truly the case then yes i agree you can't do shit. However you see someone hot. Approach. In the street where ever. Just practice.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I honestly wish I could just take you on a day out in my town to really show how shitty it is. It's one thing I've never been able to convey well enough. My smv has been wrecked here by being a somewhat nerdy druggie delinquent for all of high-school.Since in small towns everyone knows everything about each other it is incredibly counter-productive.

Most of the hot girls my age from here have moved on to better towns or are pregnant with their high school sweetheart. It's not like I'm devoid of bitches hitting me up, they're just too young (16-17) for me to want to risk statuary rape. As beta as it sounds moving really is my best option for bitches, while this town is perfect for working on myself with low costs of living, great gym, and free college. But I will take your advice, if Im out and I see someone with potential I'll approach regardless of the circumstance. I laid off it after a couple brutal failures here, but kept at it in other cities.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with you. As you said just raise your smv and then start when you can. Reminds me of my friend in Iran being stuck there and waiting to leave so he can start his game. Keep unplugged friend.

[–]jaynan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This post was very insightful and definitely harmonized well with my own thoughts.

Arguably this should be the one of the first steps for all Red Pill acolytes.

[–]FailingBillionaire1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

To add to your list:


Reddit included. Highly addictive and I recommend the cold turkey approach. Check my submission history and create a post about this topic, because it will benefit a lot of people

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is all fantastic advice. Like everything else, however, moderation (or really, discernment) is called for here as well.

It's okay to have activities you enjoy. It's not okay to let them become vices. It's also not healthy to shut yourself out of the human experience in your quest to avoid vices.

It's really hard to make connections to people if you're never on social media, never watch television, don't listen to current music trends, don't drink etc. Not impossible, but incredibly difficult.

I despise pop music, but you won't catch me saying "I don't listen to this horse shit"- you will find me singing every Weeknd song on the damn radio, though, I hate Weeknd. But it allows me to make a connection with every basic bitch in America to know his songs and it takes zero effort to do so since he's on the radio 5 minutes every hour.

I don't do shots. It's not gainful. It doesn't enhance my time and it ruins my morning and I can cheers a bullshit toast with a sip of whiskey just as easily. I'm still making a connection but asserting a personal value.

I love this post, but discernment is called for. If you're doing something stop briefly and think "what do I gain from this?" If you can't identify it, it's a time and resource waster.

Dopamine hits come from everywhere- when your bike starts after you spend hours working on it, when you hit a new PR, when you get that coy look from a girl that lets you know she just decided she's going to fuck you tonight. Dopamine isn't bad. Behaviors and substances that grant it without effort are.

[–]ex_addict_bro3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Solid summary.

Add "carbohydrates (any)" to hardcore part. Keto rules. I'm doing more stuff because I crave those feels that now I only get from working on my stuff. Even sex is less tempting.

And, good point on including music there.

[–]Thephilhouse6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sex does tend to become less tempting when you don't have a balanced diet

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Expanding on porn......when I was a virgin, well before interwebs, my fantasies circled around Weird Science.....I constructed women, mixing boobs from one girl, the ass from another....but it was all just so, well, wrong, as in factually inaccurate.

Later on, I married an enthusiastic swallower. We also wanted kids, so I dropped it on the money many dozens of times, at the top of the cycle (and hundreds of other times...never had kids....well she did, that's another matter). My second wife would swallow, less enthusiastically...but the back door was open.

What's this have to do with porn? I have thousands of images/memories of unprotected sex that I can play clips of in my head at any time. However......this is not my future. I decided against being Beta of the main draws of being Beta Bux is regular unprotected sex.

If one is spinning plates, condoms are necessary. The whole idea is to lay girls 20 to 30 riding the CC. Fantasizing about the long gone days of unprotected sex does not help. Better to dwell on what is known to work. My last LTR was exacting and demanded an orgasm every time. I know what works for her, but it's generalizable right? AWALT!

Get into her head, leverage her fantasies, be controlling, bring up the heat carefully, manually/orally stimulate the clitoris (don't railroad it!), make sure she cums first and then rail her at your pleasure. Not rocket surgery. Also nothing like porn.

[–]2comment1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

With the advent of refined sugar into our everyday lives, we have seen a growing incidence of obesity and type 2 diabetes. This all stems down to the fact that sugar acts like an addictive substance 2 by releasing large amounts of dopamine when ingested, ultimately leading to desensitization through over-consumption.

Recommendation: Eliminate refined sugar from your diet, eat fruit in moderation.

Our evolutionary ancestors (before humans) were frugivores, that's why we see in color for example (to pick out the best specimens). We have a natural sweet tooth, that's why the taste is on our tongue.

If anything, you should be encouraging fruit intake, not call for its moderation.. Just calling for cutting isn't that effective, it leaves a vacuum some people will fill with something else.

Fruit has many health benefits, the sugar in it is diluted with water and fiber and nutrients. Don't equate the isolated, dead, refined substance of sugar to fruit.

[–]Arabian_Wolf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree,

5 years ago I remember seeing a raw vegan woman eating 3500 calories worth of dates a day and she was anorexic-thin, nature never made or plan to make us fat.

[–]somesexyguy3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Funny that i am reading this on my porn account...

[–]beginner_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

About mediation: For those how have trouble with this as I do and seek alternatives I can suggest trauma releasing exercises

Yes it looks kind of ridiculous but it works. And Don't be fooled by the PTSD stuff around it, it's simply about releasing stress. If you plan 30 min (but can also be easily 60 min) each day, that's 30 min each day less of TV, gaming besides the benefits.

[–]AshyBoneVR41 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I suffer from number one. And for a time, I'm pretty sure I had PIED. Ever since I started training harder in boxing, I've decided to drop porn. I took some advice from TRD and started edging while drastically cutting down on masterbation. I've all but stopped watching porn but scared the damage has already been done.

I'm just wondering if I can train my body to get back to normal. NoFap isn't exactly an option for me since I know for a fact that if I try that shit, I get more sensitive and turn into a minute man.

I focus on breathing and relaxing myself. Coupled with edging, I am able to go longer, but I'm not sure it's enough. I haven't fucked in a while so I'm not sure if there's any difference. All I know is that I got bored with sex and would lose boners.

Any and all advice would be welcomed. And sorry if this post is TMI.

[–]Redteen2240 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

There is no ultimate 'damage is done.' Maybe the damage was huge. If so, it will take longer to undo it. But it can all be undone. I bet in six months you'll barely remember the 'damage.'

The part about not going long enough? There's no such thing man. 'Enough' is however long you're happy to go. If you want that to be ages, work towards that goal, but if not, don't fret too much and focus your experiences on enjoying yourself, not trying to placate anyone else.

[–]AshyBoneVR40 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's the thing, I don't think I lasted long enough. That's why I'm trying to increase my time. I don't give a fuck about what the chick thinks. For the most part, I've never had a dissatisfied customer, and they all end up going crazy and getting overly attached anyway. But you do make some good points. I'm noticing a difference after I cut out porn.

[–]Redteen2240 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Very useful posts. Quitting the first 3 were not too difficult for me, but 4 and 5 are a nightmare.

[–]kr1v0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just want to thank your for this part 1 and part 2! They just perfectly desrcibe why men/women in our society have become more and more depressed (at least in the "first world"). Point 5 is indeed hard to swallow, but it makes so much sense, since im always searching for tips&tricks to improve, but never doing it in the end. The 1:5 ration seems like a good rule to improve on this point.

[–]seminoleSTEVE0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

What are some TRP approved podcasts?

[–]gatstrap3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think Jocko Willink's is a great one. talks a lot about discipline

[–]Heyokalol0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I didn't know I was a Mental Masturbator, damn it. By the way, would one have a greater success at implementing those concepts one by one, steadily, or would going balls to the wall be a viable strategy?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

For those who started on porn very young, "Your Brain On Porn" is a good wake up call as to what can happen. Read it before life gets too depressing - your doctor probably won't conclude that porn use is the root of any problem.

your biology is wired to crave more extreme forms as time progresses

That's a good warning, but it's not biological. For some reason I'm wired to get bored of porn before trying too much of it. So I don't believe everyone gets addicted to porn solely from the passage of time.

It also helps to see very attractive women in your everyday life, so porn seems more like a step down than something more attractive.

[–]Ianchez0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can listening to music become a form of meditation?? Without dancing, or taping your figers. Just camly focus your atention to the sounds, their texture, their color, their positioning, etc?

[–]ImHerWonderland0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm definitely guilty of a few of these, but I can happily say that I've been taking action as I write this. Actually opened up a new tab and went to a pornographic site before I opened up TRP. Closed it and ended up not giving in, thankfully.

Probably because I recently turned twenty, but if I go more than a day without, I feel like a completely different person in a very weird way. I wouldn't even say sexual gratification is a want at this point, it feels like a NEED 90% of the time. Been occupying myself with work.

Need to cut down on social media except for personal marketing and marketing for the business. Very guilty of that one. Thankfully been cutting pornography completely out of my life. Cut almost all artificial sugar out of my life (PRETTY SURE IM NOTICING GAINS FINALLY TOO, FEELS LIT). I've also been really spot on with avoiding mental masturabation. Quit my shitty minimum wage sales job, and I'm pursuing doing my own business.

Where's that weekly redpill progress thread when you need it?

[–]hiiighpower0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

One of the best posts I've read in a long time- thank you

[–]lucasmarsbars0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

When is the post about using social media for personal branding

[–]RPmatrix0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

As much as this is 'good advice' and food for thought, ,, NO 'neurotransmitter' works alone. Not One.

ergo, "blaming/explaining" it's all due to dopamine is a mistake -- it's in No way that 'simple' with many factors including epigentic expressions

Neuroscientists are the masters of words like "implicated" ,, "appears", 'may', "suggest" etc.

In fact, don't you think posts like this are further "mental masturbation"?

Many of us who have a passion for self improvement struggle with this habit. What we don’t realize is that reading post after post, book after book, is dopamine seeking behavior. Filling your head with theory–new tricks and insights–without taking the proper action to implement them is mental masturbation in its purest form.

It is definitely a hard pill to swallow, but for most people, constantly reading self help material is just a sneaky way for your brain to get a dopamine hit, while the host is left with a false feeling of success and accomplishment

Our brains are too sophisticated to make such blanket generalizations IMO (and there is currently a big debate going about the validity of 90%+ of fMRI interpretation due to possible software errors!)

Yeesus, the endocannabinoid system was only 'found' in 1991!

And as our brains are "wetware" and all these neurotransmitters are it's "software" each and every function is connected, not unlike one's computer. Ergo sum, trying to force MS Paint to become photoshop is foolish

Learning how to control one's thoughts is extremely important (and something most people can't do!) I thoroughly support meditating as one way to start achieving this

Eating well and staying reasonably fit via regular exercise is also the smart and sensible thing to do

and cold showers after hot showers absolutely Rock!

[–]SleekPotato0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

fuck mental masturbation got me :(

[–]rogersimonsdad100 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have always "suffered" from analysis paralysis and general daydreaming tendencies. I have periods lasting anywhere from a day to weeks where I simply can't sleep at night because I constantly think about philosophical questions, political, moral, ethics, the list is long. In the beginning when I initially tried marijuana the first time, it helped restraining my thoughts from running crazy, but obviously that was a quick fix, which in the end backfired, because I don't even feel the high anymore when I smoke, and nor does it restrain my heavy contemplation. Y'all have any tips for beginning to meditate or other ways to cope with thoughts running amok?

[–]TruthInArt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh what's that trolls? Can't find anything Spergy to say about this post now can we?

[–]Mr_Talent0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

1) Porn Completely quitted it around 3 months ago. Haven't masturbated to it, or even watched since. Honestly, I don't feel any super change. However I do experience some small changes which I'm not sure they are real or placebo, either way I don't crave porn anymore.

2) Social Media I haven't posted in my FB account since 2 years. Not a photo, not a post, nothing. Rarely do I give likes. I have an Instagram account but also rarely use it.

What's the downside of this? Since I don't "trade" likes, I get so few it makes my profile look pathetic. Transmites the idea of very low social value. If I hit on a chick and add it on FB, almost guaranteed she will walk away.

Even though I don't post on FB or Instagram, I must admit I use them more than I should. 2 to 3 hours a day would not be an estimate very far from reality. I need to cut it to 1h per day...

3) TV/Video Games I don't have a TV, I don't play videogames.

I select what I want to watch with my computer. I'm addicted to Movies and TV-Shows, so I do spend a lot of time on these. I'm not willing to give that up. It's my guilty pleasure!

Video games are a waste of time. I get addicted very easily! When I played, I never played online for 2 reasons:

a) there is never an ending to reach. While on single player mode usually there is a storyline to follow which has an end, online games go on indefinitely.

b) I can never be the best! On single player mode I always played on the hardest levels because I liked the challenge and the feeling of beating the "best". Online however, there will always be someone with more time to dedicate to that shit. There will always be someone with more money to spend on upgrades, there will always be someone better. I don't like that.

4) Sugar I have cut on sugar drastically for the last year or so. As I'm typing this, I actually still have half of my Kinder chocolate egg from Easter, in front of me.

5) Excessive Theorizing (Mental Masturbation) This shit I do a lot! I spend too much time theorizing, reading stuff and too little implementing it. Needs to change.

Meditation I do this everyday. In the morning after waking up would be the best time, but I'm one of those persons who never has any time in the morning. I have a hard time waking up! Mornings are always difficult and rare is the day when I don't stay "5 minutes more" in bed.

I do meditate at night. Usually before going to bed. I have found that this doesn't work so well.

Music I do listen to music everyday. On the radio mostly. It's not a big part of my life. I need to find the time to listen to podcasts and audiobooks.

There was a time I was doing this a lot. My lifestyle changed meanwhile and now I rarely have the time. I tried to do it while working out at the gym, but it's hard! I lose focus too easily as I'm struggling to get that last rep. Also I'm very self aware and always looking into my surroundings, analysing people. Makes it hard to focus.

Warm showers That I can't give up! I fucking hate cold showers. Only time I take them is after the gym/swimming, when my body is so hot that a cold shower doesn't even feel cold. Also it helps with muscular recovery.

Day dreaming/fantasizing This I used to do a lot. I still do but not as much. I miss my capacity to doing so. Feels like I'm losing a spark inside of me... I don't like it!

Alcohol/cigarettes/marijuana Don't smoke, only drink socially. I'm good here.

I think I have pretty much all of these Dopamine addictions controlled, however I must tell I have a hard time focusing on my goals. I keep procrastinating and my mind seems to be 24/7 tuned on pussy! I think that's the thing I really need to conquer! Stop being so addicted to pussy!

Funny thing is that when I get pussy I lose interest so fast it's crazy. Then I start feeling the need of getting a different pussy... I'm fucked in the head!

[–]Fulp_Piction0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Where you say "the fructose in sugar" is misleading. Fructose IS a sugar, like glucose and lactose. Double check that, it dents the credibility of an otherwise good post.

[–]htbf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How did you rank this ? Like, how come Marijuana is not worse than Mental Masturbation or than Social Media ?

[–]kimohno0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hey! I dont get the point with the 42/72 hours from Post 1. Are you trying to say you can rewire your brain that fast by staying away from dopamine related tasks?I try to fight dopamin addiction for quite a while and it does not sound realistic. Please explain

[–]HonkeeKongLFC0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That quick meditation run down is producing instant results for me, it's become my chill the fuck out button, ace work

[–]HexabyteOfSpades0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

OK brainiac, WHAT exactly are we supposed to do with the free time we have now?

[–]Shaman66240 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What do you think about "cheat-days" where you eat sugary foods only one day a week.

[–]jeff_vii0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Excellent post. Your piece on mediation makes me think you listen to a bit of Sam Harris. Am I right?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

waiting for the social media as a tool for personal marketing post

[–]Solipsistic_guy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've added alcohol to that list and denounced it completely. I no longer go on drinking bouts with my 'brahs' and now they behave as if I'm some elite prick to good for them.

[–]Kbcool56780 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Man I think Excessive theorizing is affecting me more than masturbation (of course that shit also has a bigger role in screwing my life)but I think excessive theorizing just literally fucked my life and I didn't even noticed. I remember I was facing a very hard time 2 years ago(my mother was ill, my grades sucked) and in those times I used to search ways on the Internet to make myself better,I used to spend hours and hours trying to learn meditate better and I'm honestly saying I've never ever meditated in those 2 years.Same goes with exercise,porn etc. I was doing the same thing and found this post.I think I should get out of this shitty cycle and start acting.

[–]punkrockfishboy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Porn has for years always been my biggest vice. It's super easy to find what you want, then eventually, you'll get bored with what you see and look for new porn. Then, quitting and talking to girls has been another thing I've been jerking off too. I have been trying to keep masturbation (without porn at times) to once a week. The best record I had was going a month without porn and without masturbation. I felt a surge in my testosterone. Over time, my social confidence increases, but I still relapse over and over, especially with weed+porn+masturbation. Take it from me. Cut weed, (or I guess do it every now and then), definitely cut out porn, or constantly looking at facebook and instagram pictures of chicks because that is a dopamine rush being lavished with beauty like your checking out 100+ chicks a minute and fantasizing fucking them. It's one of the worst addictions in my life. Don't let this happen to you.

[–]Danzzo360 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ugh number 5 is my worst one atm. At least I'm somewhat self aware

[–]RuisuRauru0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Read a book but then don't read books. Your argument is invalid.

[–]enigmaticelement0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This spoke to me. Maximum gratitude my froend

[–]ARealRaceRealist-4 points-3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Another cringe artist spewing his garbage over TRP trying to shill his website

LOL DAE porn and masturbating bad!?!?!?!

This subreddit has gone to complete shit.

[–]Cool_Mob points points [recovered] | Copy Link

It is not bad.Worse than bad actually. And science proves it.Real World proves it.

[–]Selentest0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Can you please provide links to these Real World studies?

[–]nebojssha-2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I have to disagree with video games. Sure, if you play mindless shooters, that is pure adrenalin junkie fix, but try to manage and accomplish task that requires cooperation of 20-50 people. Not to forget some high competitive games, that requires serious discipline.

[–]Redteen2244 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I think the point OP is making is about the dopamine - the videogames themselves aren't the issue, it's the dopamine attachment and feedback loop. I'd argue 90% of people using videogames are unable to control that.

[–]nebojssha0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Well, you are probably right, video game addiction is a real problem. But that goes for anything, reading a book, working out, going out, sex, anyone can develop dopamine addiction out of anything.

[–]Redteen2245 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's true. You can. But with some things it's a lot, lot easier. Think about how easy it is to get a game and play it 8 hours a day than to get addicted to working out to the point you're doing it for more than 10 hours a week.

Furthermore, working out (and other such activities) are a lot, lot more productive than gaming/porn even if you are addicted.

[–]fukurfeelz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

For me, my video game addiction is primarily there to inhibit my previous addiction of boozing up and hooking up with randos. Not necessarily a problem most would find, but it works better for me now that im in a stable relationship. The minute i have more than a beer in me, all i can think about is my next lay.

I think my next move will be supplementing meditation to eliminate some of the video games. Its particularly funny to me how much we realize the dopamine hits turn into the "chase the dragon" situation, but only subconsciously. It took reading this post to finally come to the conscious realization that something needed to be done about it.

[–]redpillrobby-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Porn as #1 above regular old tv watching? BULLSHIT. I would bet $1,000,000 nobody here watches porn more than they watch regular tv. In fact, especially because of all the religious guys on this sub, I'm willing to bet that total time spent watching porn is in the MINUTES per day range, where as video game and tv watching is in the HOURS per day range.

I'm gonna take a shot in the dark though and say that OP is religious, and that's why he ranks porn as such a damn big problem, when it's not.

[–]Shaman6624-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I only have a question about the 1:5 ratio. Do you do it like 1 hour of learning and then 4 hours of doing things or applying things? And what does 'doing a thing' consists of?

Should you count your job or learning for school as 'an action' or do the 4 actions before a theory session only count outside your job?. Would a meditation session count as an action? If you are learning for example to improve your internal dialogue would changing your internal dialogue 1 time count as an action? That only takes 2 seconds.

Would making a to-do list itself count as an action or is that theorizing? Is doing the dishes an action or doesn't that count because it's a structural thing. Or does it only count if you are implementing a new dishwashing regime in your daily structure?

[–]Mattalec points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Your comment tells me that you have a tendency to theorize quite a bit, but you do bring up some really important questions that need answering. The problem is that I can't answer most of them for you.

Look critically at your goals.

If you find that you feel the need to keep reading material in a certain area before you go out and start taking action, 9 times out of 10, you are simply avoiding discomfort.

Rather than sweating over the best way to go about doing something, do it yourself, then see what you did right and where you went wrong, and how you can avoid doing so in the future.

I've never seen anybody read theory on dishwashing regimes, but if it keeps you from getting the job done of doing the dishes, make sure you nip it in the bud.

[–]Shaman66240 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ok I understand it better now.

[–]scumbagstevesbrother points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Are you even human?If so I don't believe it with the ridiculousness of this list.This is like some lizard person bullshit.I thought the redpill was about calling extreme feminism out on its bullshit not about quiting some of lifes greatest pleasures because you cant get any.Lifes to short to cut yourself off of these activities life is hard as it is (especially if you're a male)why make it harder?

[–]Not_Me_Here1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Think about how it was hundreds or thousands of years ago... your life is easy. The difference is you have to resist temptation, while before, people would have to deal with what they don't have all the time.

[–]scumbagstevesbrother points points [recovered] | Copy Link

You don't know my life but that's cool you think you resist temptation that's pretty lame gtfo here with that shit.You sound like a religious nutjob and it's thinking like this that holds the world back way to go man way to go.

[–]Glassland1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That my friends is the hamster spinning in a male, trying to rationalize its bullshit habits.

[–]Not_Me_Here0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I guess this guy is either a female, a troll or one of those who are younger and pollute the sub by thinking they know everything cause they know how to type red pill in google search.

[–]Not_Me_Here0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I know that if you were trying to find your way in the jungle, trying to sleep cause of whatever is chasing you all the time cause it's wilderness and you lost you're people because you were too hungry... you wouldn't be here typing stupid stuff to feel better, saying nothing is your fault, everything is because of feminist. I know it simply because you wouldn't have the time to do so, cause you would have to survive on the first hand.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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